Rebecca's invitation to take me out shopping let me know that I wasn't a prisoner in this house, although I couldn't truly feel free until I stepped outside, something which I was afraid to do while wearing my collar. However, the collar couldn't be removed. I couldn't live inside Jacob's and Rebecca's house forever, but I wasn't ready yet to leave. I needed time to prepare myself and to find a solution.
Finding out that I was permanently cut off from my family with no way to return wasn't as big of a shock as it first seemed. For weeks I thought that I'd been transported to the other side of my world, and didn't know if I'd ever make it back. This news just confirmed that I wouldn't and couldn't. It unleashed the floodgates of my grief, but once I cried myself dry I was ready to accept this reality and rededicate myself to studying this world that was now my new and permanent home.
