The very first time I saw her was when she was crying in front of a door. Some nurses tried to comfort her. I saw her thin body, her quite fair skin, and her long wavy dark black hair.
At first I hesitated to greet her because it could be said I was in horrible condition. Both my arms were bandaged, my cheek was cut, and my hair was cut randomly. I was worried she might be afraid to see me.
I sat on a chair in front of her, face to face. When she looked at me, I looked down so that she would not see me.
"Hello," soft voice from someone surprised me. I looked up, and found her had already sat on my side, "Emma,' she continued, offering her hand to me, "My long name is Eemmaa," the way she talked was so funny.
I shook her hand, "Tsabitha. Call me Tha,"
"What happened to you? Why do you have a lot bandages on your body?" she asked while checking the whole wounds over my body
"Hmm," I tried to smile, hoping she knew it was nothing for me, "Just small wounds" I replied lightly.
Since that day, I and Emma met very often. The first impression I got from her that she was a very active person and a bit talkative. It was even more after we knew each other very well. I knew well her mother's schedules for chemotherapy.
First we started being friends, I often saw her sad expression when she was waiting. She would take a deep breath and breathe it out slowly. That way she wanted to hide her cry in front of me.
Emma often showed up with her swollen eyes. It occurred to me that she was just crying. I would not ask further what had happened to her. She was a bit reserved about things happened to her.
But when she started telling what happened to her, I would listen to her because that meant she was on the lowest point to solve her problems.
We both were two persons who had almost similar chlidhood time. It was not very good childhood time, and we both also grew up in disharmnoy families. Perhaps these similarities made us have same emotional bounds, become good friends in short time, and understand the pain we both went through.
Emma's mother had been sick, and all medical expenses were taken over by her two older brothers. Her father chose another woman after knowing her mother was sick, even eventually they had got married.
There was something unique from Emma that made me admired her. When her problems got worse, she would crack jokes that made people worried about her smiled instead.
"Guess what I have made for you," Emma was hiding something behind her back. I knew it was a book, but I pretended not to know.
"Hmmm, what is it??," I pretended to think hard, "I don't know" I just replied.
"Herbarium," She was half screaming.
I made the wrong guess. I had thought it was a book. Herbarium? What was it?
Emma opened the big book she took with her and showed me the dried leaves. Honestly I was stunned. "I know, Tha hardly goes out," the words hurt me, but I did not say anything because it was true. "So, I bring in anything from out there for you,". That woman was 4 years older than me but she looked innocent.
.
I wondered how she could stay that happy. I did not understand. Did not she think about her life loads for a while? I stared at her eagerness in explaining every flower available there. Some of them were wrapped in plastic, while some others were not. Then she handed that album of herbarium to me after she had done explaining
…
Seven years ago.
That morning, I woke up alone. The snow fell down and covered all parts of the hospital yard, turned it into sea of white soft ice. Soon, I got up from my bed and prepared my things ready.
That day was the last day of my staying in a public health care. It was time for me to leave it after being 'my home' for years. I met all doctors and nurses in the doctor's room who had been taking care of me, and of course my archery coach.
A horrible place that I used to feel like a cage turned to be my home. I spent two years in that prison, but now I felt so sad to leave it. All people I loved were there and it became my home.
I was hoping Nana would be there to accompany me, but she was not. I was left alone. My brother chose to live away from me and continued his study. Meanwhile, we still had the same relationship like we used to have. I was asked to live in the old house, our house, but I decided to live away from anything that could awaken my old times.
Nana was getting to old to take care of me, she needed to be alone, and one of her daughter asked her to move out of that house and lived with her. 'My father?', I never heard of his current situation. I even doubted if he knew I had to live in the hospital for my therapy
My study had been delayed for quite long until I reached nineteen years old. I had to retake the last year in my academic school if I wanted to continue to university. Emma told me that she would gladly take me in her place. She also offered me to work in the florist belonged to her mother that she handled at that moment.
By using the money my mother had sent me so far, I would rather rent a small house which was convenient from my campus and my workplace. I had a simple drea, wanted to earn my degree and got a job as soon as possible.
…