I have come to the conclusion that I am a walking paradox,
a mismatched mix of innocence and experience,
a bottle of oil and water constantly being shaken.
I overthink the details.
I miss the big picture.
I am a perfectionist.
I am a procrastinator.
I have strong opinions.
I am indecisive.
I am stubborn.
I apologize too much.
its not physically possible to be like this.
there is a reason oil and water separate no matter how may times you shake them back together.
I am black and white dots in a body shaded gray, and I dont know which part of myself is the truth anymore.
mercury:
my mood changes too fast for my brain to keep up with.
sometimes, I am okay.
I really am.
talking,
working,
laughing.
then suddenly, day trades places with night and my neurons freeze.
I stop talking.
I stop working.
I stop laughing.
all I can do is pray the frostbite doesnt reach my heart before the sun rises again.