Akito's POV
after eating lunch, Ibiki told me that I have to start to go to school in a few days...
Fuck..
I slammed my head on the table and groaned. I heard Ibiki laughed at me while doing the dishes.
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'wait... I forgot about my chakra! I don't even know if I have chakra or not! shit... '
"Oi Ibiki, do you think I have chakra? I mean, cyclops said that you guys can't sense me. I don't even know if I have it or not " I asked Ibiki.
Ibiki thought about it for a while then said " let's settle that next time, I got to many thing on my hands right now and the person who you call cyclops, his name is Kakashi" he said.
😐😑
' well I have many things to do and think about too but you don't see me complaining. I died in my sleep everyday, I have to make a decision either to go with the plot without changing it or change and interfere with the plot. Do I have to save the people who doesn't deserve to die? who am I to play god? I have figure about my gifts that they gave me and figure things out about chakra and ninjutsu.... I have so many things to do... ' I thought deeply. I sighed and replied him
" ...sure, I have things to do as well"
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Ibiki looked at me with a questioning face. I asked him "what? "
" you know kid, you always act mature and act like an adult. It scares me everytime seeing you like that. No kid acts like that. I thought that you'd be an annoying brat when I was tasked to take care of you but you did the opposite. What do you have to do anyways? it doesn't sounds like its about playing or kids stuff. " Ibiki replied.
' I guess he observed me... '
" I'm actually 18 inside but 5 outside I know it sounds absurd but it's the truth. I don't know why my body turned into a 5 year old again but I'm sure regretting what I did back then. if I didn't did it, I wouldn't put myself up and go through this bullshit. The thing that I have to do is figure what to do in this world and figure out things. "
Ibiki looked at me and observe to see wether it's a lie or not. He sighed and shook his head. He then rubbed his temples and groaned.
" Why do you think that I would believe such things and if I were to believe you, tell me what did you do back then. The thing that you mentioned before. " Ibiki asked me
I smiled at him and said " I don't expect you to believe what I say. I guess it was probably the worst mistake I did back then. I committed suicide. I died but then I lived again but I then realised that I'm in my body but I'm 5 years old again. "
Ibiki looked at me with concerned face when i mentioned about my suicide.
" don't look at me like that. I'm not telling you what I've been through unless you're in my good list. I can tell people that I died and everything, I can tell some people about wanting to die, the reason I want to die, but my backstory still remains unknown until a person who I trust knows my story. Don't try to be on my good list because it will not going anywhere. Gain my trust and let me be, that's all. " I said to him.
" you can't run away from your problems forever " he told me.
" I'm not running away, I want to end it. I've had enough of living. Existing is tiring. Everytime I sleep, I die and go through situations of dying, I feel phantom pains when I wake up. I've watched many death of loved ones in front of my eyes, I've live through pain and suffering everyday. I finally committed suicide. death was comfortable, there was nothing, but then I woke up. I found out that I lived. I wanted to die. I wanted to rest. " I said whole look at him dead in the eye.
Ibiki looked at me with pity and concern on his face. I sighed and took a cigarette, light it up and start to smoke. " don't worry, I won't die, I've tried several attempts to kill myself but fail in the end. I just won't die no matter what. The angel and reaper forbids me to do so and I doubt that they would want my soul anyways. "
I huffed out smoke and continue to talk
" I don't need your pity and concern. This is my life and I do what I want. "
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silence soon fill in the room. Ibiki sighed and said " stop smoking "
"nope. I smoke if I want. it helps me relieve my stress. "
Ibiki just glared at me.
" Tch, fine, I'll replace it with candies or mints but if I do smoke, it means I'm either pissed, having a bad day or stressed to the point that I'll snap. "
" good. I'll take note of that. " Ibiki said.
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"so.... since I'll start school soon, do you know who will I be learning with? "
" yeah, your homeroom teacher is Iruka Umino, he will be your teacher until you graduate. "
' how cliche... '
"ok" I said to him.
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Awkward silence filling up the room.
" uhh.. well I'll be in my room for now, if you need anything I'll be in there. Don't worry, I will not try to commit suicide. I'll be in there and do some things and figure out how did I get into this shit. so uh.... see you around" I said while heading towards my room.
Ibiki just huffed and getting used to my antics.
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I grabbed my phone and earphone. I put in the ear buds in my ear and put on some songs. I slumped on my bed and start to loose into my thoughts..
Soon I drifted to sleep and going through hell again..
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[A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the late update, i was about to publish this chapter after i edited it but i forgot to save and I had to do this chapter all over again. I hope you guys enjoyed :) ]