Emma's POV
Having Aiden's arms wrapped around me and pulling me tighter against his chest was everything I thought it would be and more. Indescribably, it was perfect.
He tugged at the ends of my hair, angling my head back so his tongue could sink into my mouth, tasting and teasing, sliding with mine. His teeth grazed my bottom lip as I straddled him, knees on either side of him. My fingers dug into the black strands of his hair, pulling him, drawing him closer to me. A low groan rumbled through him as I lowered myself lower and lower on his lap.
"Emma," he rasped, layering kisses down my jaw, my neck. My name on his lips was a plea fanning goosebumps over my skin. Fingers trailed from my face down to my ribcage, finally settling on the curve of my waist with a rugged, possessive grip. My hips rocked against his, asking for more, much more.
"Emma," he called again, the desperation in his voice doing unspeakable things to me. "If you want to stop...."
"No," I shook my head hastily, consumed by the way our bodies created such friction. "I don't want to stop, Aiden."
He kept his eyes focused on mine as his hands slipped under the skirt of my dress, raking up thighs. With a gasp, warmth crept through my spine, knotting itself low in my stomach. It was an instruction, a demand to feel him everywhere.
He parted his knees, bringing me to sink deeper, lower, wider over his open hand. This broken man knew how to hold me like he was starved, kissed me like he wanted to get drunk on the taste of me.
My unsteady fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, popping them open one by one. But, my movements stilled when his touch sent ripples of pleasure over my skin, my veins, all the way down to my bones. I threw my head back, and a single moan left my lips, calling his name. I tried to cover my mouth to hide the sound, but he pulled them away quickly.
"I want to hear that sound," he hummed, sending more waves of bliss around me.
He circled and stroked until pressure began to build between my thighs. "I need to hear that sound again, Emmeline." The deep grate in his voice pulled me closer to oblivion. I could feel it everywhere, reaching those corners of me that hadn't been touched in so long. I ground my hips against him, and a whimper escaped me. Aiden shuddered under me, his mouth catching mine again, drinking in every breath, "I want to hear you over and over."
It was when he squeezed me down on his thighs that I felt him for the first time. I felt him through those dark slacks pressing into my backside. I gasped once more when there was more of him touching me. I spilled his name in sharp breaths, the sweet edge slowly reaching me. But then he stopped. I felt empty.
"This won't do for me," he said.
"Aiden....." I begged for him.
"I know, sweetheart." His hands manoeuvred us around. One minute, I was on top of him, feeling him. The next, I was on my back, fisting his bedsheets as he kneeled in front of me, head hanging between the cradle of my thighs, tracing every seam with his warm tongue.
I could barely breathe as my stomach hollowed out. I was invigorated by him. So captivated and thrilled, on the verge of losing myself. My back lifted from the bed when he sucked, but his palm gently lowered me back down, laying me flatly.
"So sweet," he declared. "So perfect."
My heart clenched at his words of gratification. Every limb singed to have him closer, to kiss him, to touch him.
"That's it, sweetheart." His thick, honeyed voice vibrated against me. His tongue lapped over me in a painful rhythm, the perfect spot. My pulse spread everywhere. I felt it resounding in my ears, pushing me impossibly close to that blissful edge until every limb tensed, and I fell into an eruption of elated darkness. Just the timbre of his voice was enough to send me over.
For a few long moments, I didn't move. I didn't even breathe. I waited for my lungs to expand and willed my heart to stop racing. I swallowed and slowly opened my eyes, watching as Aiden rose from his knees and came up to kiss me like someone comes up for air after a long time without it.
He was always so incredibly handsome. I could just see the line of muscles trailing down his stomach through the opened buttons.
"Was that okay?" He looked down at me with a hot, burning gaze, but his tone was soft.
I nodded. I couldn't manage anything else just yet.
"Is something wrong?" The concern in his voice caused me to meet those grey eyes.
I shook my head with a faint smile.
"Have I left you unsatisfied?" He sat up on the bed hastily. Immediately I followed, cupping his face with my small hands.
"No. No, Aiden." I couldn't stop the soft, nervous chuckle that rose from my chest. "You have left me everything but unsatisfied." I fiddled with my hands, still coming down from the high. "I haven't... I haven't felt that way in a long time."
His lips raced to meet mine, greedy and dominating. Every slight shiver that coursed through me was a gust of wind sweeping me away. I hadn't realised how starved I was for him.
He rested his forehead against mine, separating us too soon. "I don't want to take things too far if it's not what you want. I can wait... I will wait if you aren't ready for anything more."
"Aiden,"
"I didn't tell you I love you because I wanted to have sex with you, Emma. I told you I love you because I meant it. Everything else is just that: everything else. So, if you want to wait-"
"I don't want to wait." I kissed him, loving the way his lips parted straight away. Then, I broke away quickly, knowing that I had to voice those nagging thoughts stored in the back of my mind. Things I hadn't thought of in a long time. "It's just that... It's silly but...."
The line between his brows deepened as he waited for me to continue.
I was comforted by that, and maybe it was because of him that I mustered the courage to tell him. "I have certain... insecurities." I knew it was stupid, but it felt wrong not to mention them. I needed him to know that there were parts of me that weren't perfect. I wasn't necessarily ashamed of them, but I never really learned to accept them, either. "I think they're the reason I haven't tried to be intimate with anyone since my first time." I took in a shaky breath. "I'm scared you'll see them, and you might not want me anymore."
Aiden clapped a hand behind my neck and brought his lips to mine. Soft and tender kisses were placed along the corners of my mouth as he hauled us down onto the bedsheets once more.
"Show me," he said.
"What?" My eyes searched his.
"Show me where all your insecurities lie, and I'll kiss every last corner." He dragged his words down my neck. "I will love every last inch until you love them too – until they're just a memory."
My body was heated by his words and his damp kisses trailing along my skin. The longing and want were back, running through every crevice. I trusted him with every nightfall, and I loved him with every sunrise.
He slowly moved down my body, kissing over the thin material of the dress until he was between my legs again. He looked back up at me, those eyes almost blue. Then, gently, he raised the skirt of the dress up to my waist. "Is this okay?"
I nodded, watching as he placed a chaste kiss on the inside of my thigh. Next, he trailed his nose up into the joint of my leg and my centre. He put another soft kiss there. A shiver scoured my spine, and I was met with his blazing gaze once more. "Is this okay?" he repeated.
"Yes," I almost panted, the tingle of his touch lingering before moving upward. Right there.
"What about this?" The reverberations of his words bounced off my walls. The kiss he placed there was earth-shattering. The pace of my heart had been quick, but he made it skip faster, painfully pulsing.
I nodded again, barely humming a response.
"Words, sweetheart. Please use your words." He lifted his head, waiting patiently.
"Y-yes." I watched him nod with satisfaction.
His hands trailed behind him as he placed another series of kisses on my abdomen, my stomach and finally, to my waist. I sucked in a breath when he pulled the dress higher, exposing those insecurities on my sides.
He looked at them, observed how they moved with my breathing before placing his lips over the long pink stripes. He shook his head and glanced at me. "They are beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, Emma."
I hadn't expected his words to sting in my eyes, but they did. He was sweeter than I ever imagined him to be.
His lips traced the marks on both sides before lifting my dress more. Another loving circle was placed on my breastbone. My legs came up around him, holding him as close as I could. Those tears battled to fall at the beauty of what he was doing. He was cherishing, loving, adoring every part of me like no one – even myself – had ever done.
"Is this okay?" He lifted his head once more, but he frowned at the sight of my tears. "You have no idea how beautiful you are, Emmeline. No idea how many times I've thought about you like this." He placed a kiss where my heartbeat rapidly in its cage, fighting to reach him. "No amount of insecurities will change my mind. If you can love me with all my damage, then I am more than capable of loving you entirely."
I lost the battle with my tears. One fell swiftly down my cheek but was caught by the sweep of Aiden's thumb.
His next kiss was to my lips, desperate and craving. He eradicated the dress, lifting it off my head with a curse and exposing me entirely. He shifted to apply the perfect amount of weight on top of me. He was perfect with every calculated touch, measured or prolonged kiss that made me burn further with need.
When he pressed himself into me with a slight grind of the hips, I felt him against me. I wanted to tear that shirt from his shoulders and see him. Muscles and soft skin. I wanted to draw my nails on his arms as he held me close and whispered into my ear.
My fingers reached for the remaining buttons of his shirt, undoing them. His golden torso was wholly exposed as the white fabric caged us in. It was then that I noticed a thin scar running across his ribcage, faded and barely noticeable.
I slid the shirt off and tossed it aside. When I reached for his belt buckle, his hands caught mine cautiously. "Emma. Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," I whispered desperately, pulling him back to me. "I want this. I want you, Aiden."
His chest rose and fell, eyes full of hunger before he nodded. His hands made quick work of the metal clasp, sliding it out of the belt hoops and throwing it on the floor beside his shirt. He pulled me up from the bed. The fly of his slacks was swelling, becoming tighter as my fingers loosened the final button keeping us apart.
I was absorbed by the movements of his hands gliding the dark material down his strong thighs, revealing his plain black boxers. A familiar tightening surged deep down inside me, pooling and filling every crack and fracture. My breath hitched in my throat.
He did not lower that last piece of fabric. Instead, he kept it on, grinding it into me. Every word and sound never made it past my lips. It was torturous. To have him there, moving, tasting, yet it was not enough. It wasn't nearly enough.
"Aiden," I half-groaned. "Please, please."
He pushed himself against the length of me, feeling how I reacted to him. And I did. His groan fell from his lips with grace.
"Condom," he muttered through clenched teeth. "I need to get a condom."
The second he left me, I was hit by a crater of emptiness, lack of warmth, unfulfillment.
Aiden opened and closed drawers frantically, ruffling through to find that single packet of permission. When he finally appeared in front of me again, he was ripping the foil with his teeth, hair messy from my fingers but hands determined.
The moment he had the latex rubber between his fingers, he peered down at me. His chest was crammed with air. "Fuck."
Aiden stalked toward me, stood inches away and let his boxers fall.
Holy. Gods.
My mouth was unhinged, completely and utterly staring at him.
Watching Aiden roll the latex over himself was excruciatingly bittersweet. But suddenly, a rush of nervousness seeped through me. I hadn't done something like this in so long....
"Is something wrong?" The concern was back on his voice, tentative.
I swallowed, meeting his eyes. "I'm nervous," I admitted.
A gentle smile split over his features. "I'm nervous too."
Aiden interlaced our fingers, returning to me. The moment his lips brushed mine, every slice of want and need was back again, full-fledged with force. The nervousness went as fast as it came, replaced and forgotten by Aiden's fingers grabbing a handful of my hair. He lowered us onto the bed again, my skin cooled by the unscathed sheets.
A single digit connected to the spot between me. A single touch and I was breathless, sinking and drowning. Aiden lined himself up to my centre, barely pressing in. I moved my hips into him, but he held me down with his large hands to keep me in place.
"I want to be gentle with you," he grumbled, voice strangled. "Let me be gentle, please."
I nodded, adoring the way he gathered me flush against his chest and kissed me a final time before pushing through me. We both moaned breathlessly as my eyes clamped shut. The feeling was unfamiliar, but I welcomed it. I needed more. I needed him further.
Aiden paused for a moment before reeling back and then moving inside, filling me up completely. A guttural sound resonated in his chest, muffled by his mouth on my neck. His hands greedily moved over me, warming every part of me that needed to be warmed, touching every spot that needed to be touched.
There was no spare moment in between. He drew back and went deeper. He found that voracious spot within me and shattered it. Once, twice. Again, and again. And every insecurity faded.
"I love you," I whimpered into his ear.
I was beginning to unravel, but I hung on as he poured into me again, faster than the last. He hit that same, insatiable place once more. A desperate cry fell from my mouth, smothered by his tongue. "Say it again, Emmeline."
He cradled my face into his shoulder as he swarmed my thoughts into a frenzy. His mouth dipped and sank into my chest. His teeth grazed the peaks of one breast while his hand kneaded the other, drilling into me all at the same time. His forearms tensed as he broke us apart and united us with a powerful plunge.
"Oh, god. I love you," I gasped, my legs shaking and seizing up.
He clasped the back of my knee and wrapped it around his waist, pushing, driving further into me relentlessly. The tenderness was only the surface of weeks of teasing and desire. But under that surface was more. So much more I hadn't even thought about. Every second with this man was turbulent and voracious. He crashed through me like nothing else mattered.
"You're so fucking perfect," he groaned, and suddenly, I was disappearing into that black abyss once more, covered by the weight of him, the smell of him, the taste of him. Each limb strained and trembled. "God, Emmeline."
With a final cry, we both crumbled into the mattress together, falling helplessly. Aiden discarded the latex and collected me into his arms, holding me against his perspired chest. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" He pulled back a little. "Was I too rough?"
I didn't answer straight away. Instead, I kissed him with everything I had. "You were perfect."
"You know," he began with a smile. "I recall that you once said, 'You better rock my world next time. Would I be wrong?"
A shade of embarrassment rushed up to my cheeks. I hid behind my hands. "Oh, God. I really said that, didn't I?"
He softly chuckled. "You did."
"Well. Consider my world rocked." I said. Aiden's deep laugh rattled us both, contagious and loud.
"I love you." He kissed my temple. " I love loving you."
We didn't stay like that for much longer. We found ourselves reaching that high together multiple times before sleep swept us under, tangled in sheets.
He loved me, he cherished me, he adored me.
Until I met Aiden, I believed that having good grades and following the rules made you happy. But with him, there existed the possibility of having everything in between and more.
There was no hesitation between us. We were a perfect combination of equal parts gentle and giving, selfish and greedy.
He was my torment in the beginning, and now, he was my darkest paradise.
But not long after we fell asleep, I rolled over on the bed to find his side of the bed empty. His head was still imprinted on the pillow, but he was no longer there.
I sat up. An overwhelming sensation of grief washed over me. And the familiarity of it was uncanny. Because this wasn't the first time this happened, waking alone after an intimate night. It happened my first time, too. My stomach dropped at the thought.
He wouldn't leave... he wouldn't go without saying anything.
After revealing so much of himself to me last night, of course, there existed the possibility that he'd leave the following day. He had done it before.
No. This was different. I knew Aiden.
I battled with myself, defending him and trying to reason with myself.
On cue, the bedroom door silently closed shut, Aiden's tall figure taking up all the space in the room. He was carrying two mugs, single streams of steam hovering above them.
"Emma?" His eyes fell on mine. Panic was written all over them.
"You didn't leave...." I sniffled, not having realised I was crying.
He set the two mugs down on the bedside table and rushed over to me. "Leave? No... I- I just had a bad dream. Shit. I went downstairs to make coffee. I didn't want to wake you up, but I brought a cup in case you wanted some." He wiped at his face. "God, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean to make you think I'd abandoned you. I would never leave, Emma. I wouldn't. I swear."
I wiped at the tears and glanced at the coffee. "Why are you drinking caffeine at" – I peeked at my phone – "four in the morning?" I noticed the circles under his eyes. "Is something wrong?"
Aiden leaned over and grasped the two cups. He brought one to his lips and handed me the other. I appreciated the warmth radiating from the cup, but I didn't drink from it. Unlike Aiden, I like to sleep.
"Does it have to do with your nightmare?" I asked.
"I haven't had one in weeks." He stared into his mug. "I forgot what waking up in a sweat felt like." He sighed and looked up at me, those dimples fastening a smile. "I like seeing you in nothing but my shirt."
I peered down at the oversized clothing bunched at my knees. "I would say the same, but I don't think any of my shirts would fit you." I smiled.
We both laid back onto the bed, finger intertwined while my head rested on his chest.
"When was the last time you played the piano?" I asked.
"Hm. It might have been when my mother passed. I'm not sure I even remember the last time I played."
The pad of my index finger trailed over the horizontal line on his ribcage. Was this from his father too?
"Would you believe me if I told you I got it from a bicycle accident?" He teased.
I laughed. "Aiden Blackwood riding a bike? Never."
"Yeah, I thought it was far-fetched too." Then, he confirmed quietly, "It's another product of my father, I'm afraid."
I bit on my top lip. "We can pretend it was from a bicycle accident. Or an adventure in the Amazon jungle. That one would probably be quite the conversation opener at parties."
"What movie is that?"
"If you don't know the answer to that, we have a serious problem, Blackwood."
His laugh echoed into my chest.
And so, we talked until the sun came up, until I fell asleep listening to his steady heartbeat, legs entwined while he brushed my hair with the tips of his fingers.
He was there the next time I woke up.