It turns out that the remaining hours of the month of October were probably some of the most interesting. Even though I knew, deep down, that Aiden wasn't entirely forthcoming about the events in his life, I decided that, at least for now, I wouldn't pressure him for answers. I understood why he hid them from me out of fear, but I still couldn't come face to face with the fact that Aiden didn't trust me. Maybe I was hypocritical, but there was nothing else I could say to convince him that trusting me wouldn't hurt him. After all, I had already shared my most vulnerable moments with him. Maybe that made me naïve and foolish. Maybe I wanted to trust him so desperately that I felt the need to explain every defining moment in my life.
Sure, I told him about my ex and the problems I had with my family growing up until this moment, but that was as far as my life events went. I wasn't half as secretive as Aiden was. I concluded that the only way he would talk to me about his past was by giving him time and showing him that I wasn't going anywhere. I had also decided that when it came down to it, after giving Aiden time and space and anything he needed for him to trust me, that if he still didn't... I didn't entertain that thought. There was an odd amount of sadness that came with that idea.
I wanted to hold onto all the good moments that Aiden and I shared. All the times he was sweet and called me beautiful, or the lengths he went to so he could share the things I liked, or the efforts he made to comfort me when I cried. College is stressful enough as it is, even when you do well in your classes and barely meet the deadline of your assignments. However, it's that much worse when you juggle a job on top of it.
There were a few embarrassing moments during the month where I crumbled under pressure. I submitted a project for my culture class with tears in my eyes - I understood William in that moment, which had made me laugh - But not once did Aiden ever leave my side. He insisted on helping me every chance he got, made coffee when we stayed up late and covered me in a blanket when I fell asleep on the couch. Slowly, and unsurprisingly, he became my comfort during the chaos.
Sometimes, I would be trying to take notes during class and catch myself thinking about him and the plans we'd made for that afternoon. He continuously intruded on my thoughts more times than I wished to admit. I could never find a reason why.
After our night on Halloween, something shifted between us – something endearing and new that caused him to seem a little brighter, a little livelier than in the past. I wasn't sure what it was, or rather why it was, but the fact was: I didn't care. Aiden had become open enough to compromise one of his conditions.
"What about, instead of holding hands, we could link arms?" I suggested.
He mulled over my offer for such a long time that I began to retract it, quickly moving on to another topic to hide the awkward silence when he cut me off.
"I guess we could do that. I don't see why not." His words had caught me so off guard I almost tripped over the curb as we walked down the street.
As December exams inched closer until they were only a few weeks away, everything around me somehow seemed heightened. William sometimes came around the apartment and joined Aiden and me in our study sessions. At first, there were loud protests from both, bickering and debating, too. Luckily after a few weeks, they tolerated each other's presence, not wholly, but enough that we were able to actually get some work done. One time, I was caught smiling at them as they worked collaboratively.
"What?" Will flicked his eyes between Aiden and me when he heard my laugh as if he was missing out on some practical joke.
"Nothing." I shrugged, muffling my smile. "I just think you two make a cute couple when you're not arguing."
William and Aiden were more like an old married couple rather than a cute one, as I had put it. Either way, they both looked at each other with scowls and went back to their tasks like the other didn't exist.
Days continued to roll by when, on one gloomy afternoon, the sky completely smothered in dark clouds, Aiden laid in my bed. He was looking at the roof as if contemplating something when the downpour of rain smacked on my window, gaining his attention. He smiled and sat up. I don't know how long he stared at the rain with the same pensive gaze he had on my roof.
"Emma?" His tone was soft and curious.
I was so lost in my textbook that it took me a minute to recognize he was calling my name.
"Emma?" He stood up and walked over to where I was situated at my desk, hovering over me like a large shadow.
When I finally swivelled in my chair to see the amusement on his face, I answered, "Yes?"
"Come with me?" He nodded his head toward the door.
"Where?" I asked him, suspicious.
"Just, come with me. Please?" The dimpled smile on his face was almost strong enough to convince me that jumping off a bridge was a good and totally safe idea. Obviously, it was not.
"I really have to finish this-" I was going to point to the pages sprawled all over my desk, but he grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of my seat. His grip wasn't tight enough that I couldn't pull away. However, my curiosity followed him blindly.
"Where are we going?" I asked several times as we took the stairs down to the main lobby of the building. The large glass doors acted as a preview of the storm thundering outside.
Heavy rain smacked the pavement and drowned the black roads. His car, stationed across the street, was one of the many receiving the hammering droplets.
It was so loud that Aiden's words were barely audible even when he stood only inches away. There was a flash of excitement in the shine of his eyes, and I noticed they looked almost blue in that light.
"What are we doing here?" I looked around the lobby, making a mental note to check my letterbox later.
"We're going outside."
I blinked once. And then again. "What? In that?" – I pointed at the obvious storms outside – "You're crazy if you think I'm going out there. I am cold, tired, and I have too many assignments due tonight. Aiden. I don't have time-"
In the second a wicked and thrilling grin spread on his face, I knew there was nothing strong enough to stop him. Not me and my attempts to pull away as he pushed open the doors or the rain smacking on his shoulders, drenching him almost immediately. He pulled me into the cold, wet street. My feet soaked as I landed in a growing puddle.
"You-!" I groaned, hugging myself from the shivering wind. "I am going to kill you! Why would you-?"
His loud laughter burst from his chest, deep and heavy. Usually, I would revel in the moments he laughed like this, trying to remember the image in my head. But not today. No. Today I wanted to suffocate him with a pillow for dragging me into a damn storm. He was insane.
"It's just rain." He still grinned like an idiot. Jerk.
"I am drenched! Look at me!" I gestured at my soaked and heavy clothes, brushing away the messy hair.
And he did look at me. There was something unreadable about his expression. It wasn't clear like other times he smiled at me. There was something else I didn't recognize, something akin to fondness or adoration in his gaze. It was the way my insides churned when I found him looking at me, or when he spoke to me, or when he kissed and touched me.
Now I must be the crazy one.
Aiden took an attentive step in my direction. His fingers were still wrapped around my wrist, dripping wet and firm. If only they were only inches below... All he needed to do was let his hand slip and fall into mine. That was all it took to hold my hand. And yet, it didn't move an inch. He was a malicious curse.
"You are crazy," I said. "Absolutely bat-shit insane."
He exhaled a laugh. "Have you never stood in the rain before?"
"No. Not unless I can avoid it." I tried going back to the building we came from.
"Are you afraid to get a little wet?" He teased, his hair plastered onto his forehead. For some reason, I fought the urge to push it away from his face. It's not like I couldn't...
"I am not afraid," I told him. "And I'm more than just a little wet. I look like a mess!"
"You look perfect to me." He shrugged, the light of amusement in his eyes never fading out. I was glad he found this funny because I certainly did not. "Close your eyes and tilt your head back." I must have looked at him strangely because he continued, "Just close your eyes, Emma."
I did as he said and fluttered my eyes closed. Slowly, my head fell back, my face to the clouds. I waited for his next instruction. There wasn't one.
The next time he spoke, his voice was almost in my ear. "Take a deep breath."
My lungs filled with the smell of fresh rainwater, humid and earthy and musky. I felt every drop that fell on my skin, my face, my neck, my arms. Then, I felt something hard behind me. Aiden's chest cradled my head, his fingers dropping from my wrist, and the touch washed away before I could memorize it. I leaned into him, securing myself against him.
It was only seconds before he was gone again. My eyes jerked open, finding him flushed against me. His eyes were on my lips, breaths shallow and quick. On his mouth was the ghost of a smile. He was so close. So, so close.
"Hello, sweetheart," His voice was raspy, barely audible as it carried with the storm around us. I was close to melting on the spot. Every time he called me sweetheart, I grew lightheaded. It was a daily occurrence now, and still, it always had the same effect on me: Weak limbs and loose thoughts.
Like the fool I was, I couldn't even muster a hello in return.
His broad shoulders had seemed to encase us into a frozen moment in time, with his gaze on mine and hands sliding up my waist. Every touch, carefully calculated and warm, made me forget we were standing in the rain completely drenched in our clothes - empty from thoughts of getting sick before exams or getting trench foot from loss of circulation and nerve function all because–
Aiden inched closer, and I thought he was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes, anticipating the feel of his lips frame mine, but it never came. Instead, his breathy chuckle vibrated in my ear. "We should go inside. It would be awful to get sick before exams, no?"
Oh.
"Mhm." Was all I managed. With another quiet laugh, he guided us back inside away from the rain and into the warmth of our – my building.
"We need to shower," I stated the obvious.
"You can go first. if you like."
I froze. "You're going to shower... here?"
He looked up from the book he had plucked from my bookshelf. A line creased between his thick brows. "Is there a problem?"
The thought of him being naked, in a towel hanging low on his waist, skin glistening-
"Emma?"
"Nope. No, not at all." I rushed my words. "I'll go first, then."
First, he dragged me into the rain. Then, I was forced to deal with his very naked and broad shoulders, tanned skin tightly wrapped around his abdominal muscles. The skin I had touched before; the skin my fingers burned to touch again.
Well. This would be fine... right? No problem. No issues, no worries.