I sat behind the large grey desk, eyeing the way Aubrey placed her hand suggestively on Aiden's forearm. Her blonde waves of hair gracefully swayed behind her shoulders every time she tilted her head back to laugh. And the gold bracelets splayed on both wrists rattled every time she grabbed a hold of the desk to support herself.
Aiden stood in front of her with both hands stuffed into his jacket. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other repeatedly, glancing at me every now and then as if he was making sure I wouldn't disappear.
"Anyways, how have you been?" Aubrey blinked up at him slowly, her rosy lips spreading into a charming smile. "It feels like I haven't seen you in forever."
"I've been preoccupied."
"Oh, I hope you haven't been too swamped with classes. They've been so hectic for me recently. This semester is really kicking my butt." She giggled again, swaying closer to him.
Aiden noticed her calculated attempt and cleared his throat, stepping little ways to the side.
"Is this all I can do for you today?" I asked, scanning the book she'd handed me.
She turned her head, her smile still very present. "Yes, thank you."
"Have a good day," I said, returning to the other activities on the computer.
She then faced Aiden again with wide eyes, subtly placing her palm on his chest. "We should catch up! I know a great restaurant to have dinner. What do you think?"
"I think it's a great idea," He said. "we should invite everyone." I noticed Aiden's small head tilt as he turned to face me. "Would you like to join us, Emma?"
I was too focused on Aubrey's hand placement to register what Aiden said to me. When he repeated himself, I cast my gaze at Aubrey, expecting to see some visible irritation of some kind, but she seemed unphased.
Aiden's eyes were filled with light as they stared at me, waiting for an answer. But I didn't have one.
Suddenly, I found myself rejecting his invitation, and I saw the way that the light fell from his eyes and drew a frown on lips.
"I just... I don't want to impose."
"Nonsense!" Aubrey beamed at me. "The more the merrier." Her arm brushed by Aiden's forearm, which he basically jerked away. She was too busy pulling out her phone to notice his rejection. "I'll reserve a table for eight, then. I'll text you the place."
"Great." Aiden stated indifferently.
"Oh!" Aubrey exclaimed loudly. "We're going to have to do it after the trip, though."
"What trip?"
"The one to Sacramento Myra has been bugging us all about. You are going, aren't you, Aiden?"
From the dark reflection on my computer, I could see that the lines on my forehead had deepened with the raise of my brows.
"I hadn't given it much thought." Aiden shrugged.
"Myra moved the trip up to this weekend. You and Emma should both come!" She only looked at Aiden when she spoke. Her eyes were mostly glued to him for the entirety conversation.
"I'm terribly sorry but as I told Myra, I won't be able to make it." I said, trying to be as nice as I could without seeming ungrateful.
"That's a shame... What about you, Aiden?"
I awaited his reply just as eagerly as she did. I thought he would be ecstatic to go and that he'd say yes without even thinking twice about it. I thought he'd be happy to have a weekend away with his friends, especially since I had just rejected him.
"No. I think I'll pass." He told her plainly. "I'm not really in the mood to go on a trip."
"Well, I guess we'll see you after we get back, then." She cast the book I gave her into her bag and prepared herself to leave. "Thanks again for the book, Emma. I'll see you both later."
She waved us a small goodbye, to which I was the only one who returned the gesture.
"That was a nice surprise." I muttered slowly, not sure that I believed the words myself.
"No, it wasn't." He picked up the umbrella that I left to dry and squeezed it in his hands.
"I'm sorry about-"
"Forget it." He fidgeted with the trap of the umbrella impatiently. "Are you ready to go?"
I gathered my bag, slipping it over my shoulder and logging off the computer.
"Yeah."
We both made our way outside. Even though it was no longer raining, there were still remnants of rain water on the street, gathered in small lakes where there were no gutters.
The drive was awfully silent with the exceptions of Aiden breathing heavily in some moments than others.
"Aiden," I called out to him softly. "I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything.
"I'll go... I'll go to dinner."
"It doesn't matter anymore." He muttered.
"What are you talking about?"
"I got your message loud and clear, Emma."
"What message?"
He half scoffed and continued to drive with only one hand on the steering wheel.
"Aiden, talk to me. Don't ignore me."
"We're not a public couple, right? So, it doesn't matter. None of it fucking matters." With each word his tone grew distant and cruel.
"Is that what this is about? You want to tell people about us?"
"No! This is about you!" He braked hard at the red lights. "I tried to make an effort for you! I tried to invite you to that ridiculous dinner, and you refused. You said no dinner, to the trip, and you say no to every opportunity we have, and sooner or later, you'll say no to being with me."
Suddenly, I could see all the progress we made start to float away. All of it was feeling each time farther and farther.
"Listen to me," I said sternly in order to get his attention. "I said no to the dinner because I don't want to sit at a table and eat with people who don't even want me there in the first place – people who are nothing like me."
The truth was, that despite the things I had just said, I was fine with them. Thinking of seeing Aubrey talk with Aiden, flirting with him however, raised questions within me that I had no idea I needed to ask. I didn't know what his relationship with her was like after the day he kissed her. I didn't know if this relationship was exclusive or whether it allowed either one of us to see other people.
The thought of him kissing other girls, especially Aubrey, made my stomach churn and my heart drop. It vexed me. It made me nauseous, and it made me jealous.
"But, you know what?" I began calmly. "It's not about everyone else. I can deal with everyone else, but I can't deal with the thought of Aubrey flirting with you and touching you like she did today. Do you know how uncomfortable I felt watching that?"
Aiden peeled his gaze from the road and focused it on me.
I squeezed my hands together between my thighs and inhaled deeply. "I will go to this dinner if you want me to, okay? But I know you and Aubrey have some sort of history, so I need you to tell me if there is anything going on between you two."
He sighed and observed the road before manoeuvring the car and parking in a side lane. He cut the roar of the strong engine and unclicked his seatbelt, completely turning his body to face me.
"Aubrey and I don't have history together." His tone lowered significantly. "Yes, it's true that she and I hooked up sometimes, but that was it. Nothing else ever happened. You know that before this, before you, I never wanted a relationship. So, I cut her off and stopped seeing her, even though we weren't together yet."
I truly believed the things he told me. It was evident in the times he pulled away from her when she attempted to get close to him today. But that didn't magically get rid of all the doubt.
"I'm not generally the type of person who gets jealous, Aiden, I just... I saw the way she looked at you – the way she found excuses to touch you. And I'm aware you pulled away but I- I want to know if we're exclusive or if..." I trailed off, unwilling to finish that sentence.
"Emma, look at me." He reached across his seat to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. The warmth from his hand spread on my skin like liquid. "The only person I want to be with is sitting right in front of me. I don't want any other guy touching you or kissing you or even thinking about you the way that I do. I want to be exclusive. And as for Aubrey, she doesn't exist to me. I have nothing to offer her. When she realises that, she'll back off on her own. There is only you and me, and honestly, that scares me more than anything."
"It scares me, too." I muttered and removed my gaze from his.
"Believe me," he lifted my chin with the pad of his thumb, "I am not going to let anything ruin what we have."
Soon, Aiden positioned himself back onto his seat and gripped the steering wheel in a certain way that the veins in his hands projected themselves from his tanned skin. I was surprised to spot a plain silver band ring on his index finger.
He strapped the seatbelt down and across his chest and revved the engine to start.
On the way back to my apartment, Aiden told me to reach into the glove compartment.
I did as he asked and pressed the button that released the small door open. I didn't know what I was supposed to be searching for until he told me to grab a small white cord sitting atop the car's manual.
"What's this?" I held it up.
"It's an AUX cord." He smiled.
"Yes, I know that." I chuckled. "What is it in your car? You hate music."
"A few days ago, I asked you to play me a song you liked and I-"
"Ran away?" I cut him off.
"Yes. I ran away." He stroked his chest, getting rid of the crinkles on his shirt. "I realise now that I want to be a part of the things you enjoy everywhere we go. So, I got you an AUX cord."
"Aiden, you don't have to do this."
"But I want to."
"Are you sure?"
He cleared his throat, "It was supposed to be a little more... romantic, but yes. I'm sure."
He urged me to plug in my phone and pick my favourite playlist. When the sound started to play through and surround us, his dimples appeared and carved themselves on his features. He looked at me suggestively.
"What are you smiling at?" I asked him.
"I just realised we get to spend a whole weekend together without interruptions."