At first, I didn't feel anything.
The streets were quiet, at rest without noise while my head was sounding alarms of all kind. The warmth of his lips covered mine, and all of a sudden, I realized that not only had I caught him off guard, but now he was kissing me back.
Without warning, something switched – something that I couldn't control ignited and ran over my skin like a hot fire, chasing a line of endless gasoline. It felt like there were clouds beneath my feet, like there were flowers growing inside my chest and blooming at the sight of spring.
His bruised hands traveled to my cheek, kissing me back, feeling the skin in a way I had never been touched before. Everything about his warmth, delved and coated with the taste of alcohol almost made me want to pull away, but I couldn't. He obliterated every one of my thoughts and all of the warnings and red flags I had received were thrown to the curb, enlightened by his hold on me.
When he eventually withdrew from me – surprisingly hesitant – I looked in his eyes and saw the swirled emotions of anger, confusion, want and need.
However, as I searched further into the grey, I was immediately reminded of the torment and rudeness he had put me through. The way he had made me cry, and feel worthless. All of it began to storm over my head, making me realise what I had just done.
"Emma-" Aiden began to speak; his voice low and gentle as if he battled with himself.
"This..." I start. "This... never happened." I shook my head, eyes wide, trying to convince not only him but also myself of what I had just said.
I didn't know what this kiss meant and suddenly I was urging with questions.
Was it a really mistake? Did it mean anything? Would this change things between us? Did he feel something like I did?
His eyebrows instantly creased and the line between them folded. "What?"
"I'm- I'm sorry. I never should have kissed you... I didn't know what I was doing... I just-" I began to ramble, making up some kind of acceptable excuse. "You can't tell anyone, please."
He scoffed, and then crossed his strong arms against his chest creating a smug look on his face.
He leaned, breath hot against my pink cheeks. "Who said it was worth telling?" He mocked me in a whisper.
I tilted my head up to meet his height. "Just... promise me, okay?"
"Fine, whatever." With a huff he turned on his heel and walked off.
"Where are you going?" I shot after him.
"Why do you care?" He said back, remaining calm while he reached the door of his car.
"You're drunk... you- you can't drive..."
Aiden paused and looked up at me, stretching his hands out in the air, sarcastically.
"Does it look like I give a damn?" He drops his hands to his sides, flopping against his jeans.
"Well I can't just let you drive drunk, Aiden."
He chuckles to himself and opens the door, not yet getting in. "I wasn't aware we were pretending to care about each other." My lips part away. "Look, Emma, it was just a stupid kiss. Don't get all sentimental, okay? It didn't mean anything."
I wasn't aware of the reason why, but suddenly Aiden saying the kiss meant nothing, made my stomach twist into knots. I cleared my throat and looked away at the ground to hide the feeling.
"No... I get it I just-." I met his eyes again. "I can call Myra or Lars, they could come and pick you up..."
"No," He ran a single hand through his black hair, curls falling around his perfectly framed face before he pushed them out of the way with annoyance. "You won't let this go, will you?"
I shook my head. "No."
Aiden sighed and closed his car door, locking it.
"Fine, but you are not driving my car. I don't want your slobbery hands all over my steering wheel." He rolls his eyes and starts walking again, waiting at my car door with expectant eyes.
Ignoring his rudeness, I unlock the door from the inside, since the lock on the outside is broken.
I turn on the soft engine and remove my bag from the passenger seat where he was going to sit. I place it on my lap temporarily and I watch him carefully slide into the car.
When he clicks in his seatbelt he looks at the bag on my lap with curiosity.
"You removed the key ring?" He pressed his pink lips into a line to hide a forming smile. "Why?"
"I lost it." I lie, and I was nearly sure that we both knew it.
When I began to pull out of the parking space, light spits rain now beginning to fall, I heard Aiden constantly readjusting in his seat. I flicked my eyes to see why and I was met with an irritated glare.
"How can you drive in this piece of crap?" He moved his legs around, barely brushing with the dashboard in front of him. "You have no leg room." He adjusted again.
"It is small, but I'm happy with it." I half smile.
"You shouldn't be." He huffed again, scowling this time.
"Is it not enough you have to hate me, but you have to hate Betty too?"
He stared at me blankly and I immediately wished I hadn't said anything regarding the car.
"Betty? You named your car Betty?" His smile peaked through the corner of his lips, dimples beginning to form.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I did." I looked at his eyes that were now laughing. The way his face had changed into a relaxed happiness almost took me by surprise. He was laughing, a genuine loud laugh that wasn't poisoned with bitterness or seasoned with salt. It was deep, the ones that come from your chest and bled out into the air with affection, making you laugh as a result.
He tried to cover his mouth to muffle the sounds but when he looked at me again, he only laughed harder.
"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." He breathed. "But coming from you," He gives me a quick once over. "It doesn't come as a surprise."
I kept driving through the rain without saying another word. Until after a while, my phone and its buzzing interrupted the newfound silence.
On a red light, I took it out of my bag and checked what it said.
'Have you found him yet?'
'Are you okay?'
Myra's messages flooded my phone and Aiden turned his head to see what all the sound was about.
As the droplets of water hit the windshield, I quickly texted back a response, saying everything was okay and that I had found him.
I shut my phone off and placed it to charge in the compartment between Aiden and I.
"Can I ask you something?" I look at Aiden, observing as he rolled his eyes.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't like it when people ask questions."
"How do people get to know you if they don't ask questions?" I furrow my brows.
"They don't." He clenched his jaw and looked at me. His smile was now far gone, seeming too long ago to remember what it looked like in detail.
I drove past some streetlights along with their empty streets. The windows were getting fogged up from the difference of temperature in here and the outside, making everything we went by illustrate as a blur.
"You know," I begin quietly, somewhere finding the confidence to say what I had on my mind. "You should smile more often." I glanced at him shyly, the road leading up to the frat house slowly coming into view.
"And why is that?" He said, derisively.
I slow the car up the driveway and parked in front of the big house. Aiden was waiting for my response, somewhat interested in what I would say next.
I turned in my seat and watched his eyes watch me.
"You don't seem so angry at the world." I lift the corners of my lips up. "It's... nice and besides, it doesn't hurt anyone."
Aiden's expression remained neutral while he took in my words. Then finally when he spoke again, he was getting out of the car with a smug expression on his face.
"I'll see you around, Emma."
And he walks into the house with wet shoulders as if it today hadn't happened.
But that's what I wanted, though, right? To pretend it never happened?