Mal remained by my side as I found myself in the pack house's kitchen. I leaned over the counter, dry heaving. My whole body was shaking from what I just done. You would think I was on the other end of rejection. "Here, please drink this," Mal said as he handed me a bottle of water. "You should probably hydrate." I took the bottle and downed it with just a few gulps. I tossed the bottle into the recycle bin. My heart felt like a thousand knives entered it... but I was still standing. I was trembling. "Can I drive you home?" Mal asked with a concerned voice. I shook my head and looked him in the eyes.
"No, Honestly I just want to take a bottle out to the woods and be alone." I started to empty my pockets, handing them over to him. "Can you take the car home?"
Mal was awkwardly putting away my things into his pockets as he avoided making eye contact now.
"V-Viv, are you sure you want to go alone?"
"I have Arwen," I assured him.
Mal gave a small frown but walked with me as I collected a bottle of rum from a mini fridge. He even walked with me to the front door before I put a hand on his chest.
"Okay, this is as far as you follow me," I told him. He gave me a worried look but let me walk towards the woods. I had a feeling he watched me the whole way to the edge of the woods. I entered the dark shadows of it before taking my clothes off. I transformed into my wolf form and instantly felt more alive than I had been all day. I ran. I ran with the bottle wrapped up in my clothes- in my mouth. I ran until I reached a familiar trail. I ran it until I reached the waterfall's clearing. I transformed behind a tree and put my clothes back on then opened the bottle as I walked up to the waterfall. Tears fell down my cheeks but I didn't make a sound as I started to drink the bottle.
My emotions felt like an endless steam as I cried- because I felt like my life had been pointless. All my work to have a good life for me- my mate- my children was wasted. Why did I even feel excited to turn into a werewolf for my first time? I sat down on a bolder next to the water and listened in on the sounds of the crickets, an own, and the steady flow of water. I could feel Arwen place her head on my lap.
"Oh, Arwen," I whispered softly. "What did I do? What do I do?" I asked her softly. I felt so lost.
'I'm sorry it happened,' she whispered softly to me.
"But why?" I asked and started crying.
'I don't know. But you're free from him now.' She assured me.
"What is freedom if there's no one to love me?" I asked and hiccuped suddenly.
We fell silent as she tried to think of what next to tell me.
'You have choices now,' she said. I couldn't feel anything but sadness as I looked down into the water.
I rejected him because he was unfaithful to fate- which would lead to me. But, I also understood him in some ways. He liked men. He didn't like women. Who was I to force him to love me? More importantly... He was Cole's boyfriend. How could I do something like that to Cole? The second I looked at Cole I knew I couldn't have Emmett.
Am I mad at him or me?
The way he looked at me when I rejected him... I knew he felt guilty the whole time he was with Cole. Why should he feel guilty for choosing who he should love?
Why should I feel guilty for rejecting him?
"You got any of that left?"
The voice made me shriek and tense up as I clutched the bottle. I glanced around me for where the voice came from befeore my eyes landed on him. He was tall, muscler. His face was marvelous- flawless. His eyes were the color of blue. A light, ice blue. His hair was pinned back out of his face with a few bobby pins. But, I could tell even in the darkness it was a curly mess. I smelled the air and instantly knew who he was. "Alpha Brendon?" I asked softly. He smiled but it faded as he walked up and gave me a questioning look.
"What are you doing out here instead of at the party?" He asked as he reached forward and touched a tear on my face. "What happened?" He growled out suddenly and I felt compelled to tell him everything. I had to bite my toung as I fought to keep it in. Damn, he really is the alpha. "Don't make me ask again," he said and I could see it in his eyes- he cared.
Arwen seemed to be enjoying something suddenly. Her feelings steadily becoming mine. I had to switch my vision over to look at her. Her spirit looked happy but I couldn't see what it was- what was happening to her. Wait- was his wolf licking hers? As I watched her enjoyment and head tilt I instantly knew the two were connecting on a realm I couldn't see. Her fading completely from my vision. Because he wasn't my mate, I couldn't know for certain if it was happening. My vision was blinded by the unknown.
Werewolves can only see their spirit guide's and whoever their mate's spirit guide is.
But the spirits can connect together where we can't see entirely.
I jumped as I was brought back to reality. Alpha Brendon had wrapped me up in his arms and was rocking me. He was even drinking my rum. "Are you ready to tell me?" He asked in my ear. He was being so gentle with me.
"I- I found my mate," I mumbled.
He growled.
"Then what happened?" He asked angrily. But he wasn't angry with me.
"I found him in love with another," I whispered. I felt sadness but Arwen's joy made it hard for me to decide how to feel.
"Did he reject you?"
"No, I rejected him for his sake," I whispered.
Alpha Brendon fell silence like he was thinking about it. We shared the bottle for what seemed like forever as we watched the waterfall. Somehow, him being here was really helping me feel better.
"That was real nobel of you," he decided to tell me after what felt like forever. I felt a little dizzy as I suddenly found myself curled up to his chest, smelling him.
This man smelt so good. Like apples, cinnamon, and brown sugar. It made me want to eat him. I giggled at the thought. But I could feel pressure building up as my body suddenly felt hot. I felt sweaty... I could use a dip. My eyes landed on the water. I could suddenly feel Alpha Brendon smelling my hair. He gave me the rest of the bottle, feeding it to me as I drunk the last sip. "Do you know what's happening to you?" He asked me suddenly. I turned around to face him in his lap and straddled him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and shook my head, no.
"You mean I'm forever in debted to you for being here for me?" I asked. Whatever he's been doing has been working for me. He chuckled and grabbed my hips, pushing me until I felt something hard between my legs. I widened my eyes in surprise. He's turned on? He really must be drunk! "Alpha Brendon," I gasped out.
"You've been in heat since the moment I showed up," he whispered to me. "I could smell you and that's what lurred me here. The only reason it's just us is because I'm an alpha," he told me suddenly.
I didn't understand it. How could I have been turned on the whole time myself? 'He means you've been putting out pheromones.' I blushed in alarm. THEY TELL ME THIS NOW?! 'You're an unmarked, unmated, and a virgin wolf. You really are surprised this is happening?' Harsh, Arwen.
"Do you want me to help you?" He asked softly. "I could take you home. Tell your family to keep you locked inside until it passes. Run you a cold-"
I shook my head no quickly. If there is anything I've learned in the 'mating ritual' classes they made me take in eight gade then I know I'll be in heat until I mate... and even then I'll need to mate with someone once a month (at the very least) until I'm old and wrinkly and dried up! I can't have men banging on my doors for the rest of my life. I'll have to have a plan!
But for now... This is my only solution... but he's super hot and did I mention avaible!
Arwen did say choices.
[MATURE CONTENT BELOW]
I crashed my lips ontop of his instantly. I didn't go further, as I waited for his reaction. It only took a second before I found my back being pushed up against the rock and he got on top of me. "M-make it go away," I begged him.
"Yeah?" He chuckled out and I could feel his amusement radiating. My head spun for a second but I could tell that all I wanted was one thing. To have this notion I was waiting for someone to be gone from my mind. I'm a free woman. No more waiting. "Are you certain?"
"I've never been more certain in my whole life," I told him quickly. He nodded and our lips crashed together once more. His body rubbing against mine as he started grinding into me. He ran his fingers up under my shirt and cupped my bra in his hands before slipping his hands behind me. He unclapsed my bra and reached up under- touching my nipples. He rubbed them with his index finger. His body grinding harder into me. I was excited- because this was my first time. My long awaited first time.
Yeah, only a few hours ago my heart was broken...
But Alpha Brendon made me really happy.
It's like I could trust him.
"This isn't my first time," he admitted to me as we pulled away from making out to catch our breaths.
"I don't care."
"I didn't think you did. Just relax, you'll be alright," he promised me.
I nodded. I don't know why he was assuring me. I've never been more excited and ready in my entire life.
He slipped his hand suddenly into my shorts. Somehow while talking to me, he had unbuttoned my pants without me noticing. Was I drunk? I did feel a little tipsy. His fingers suddenly entered me without much warning. "Oh, you're so wet," he told me. I felt my body clench at his voice as he rubbed something and I suddenly fell helplessly into a moan. "And tight," he mumbled in admiration. His fingers started to go from one- two- to three inside me. I moaned as he worked them in. Trying for a fourth, I sat up in alarm and he pushed me back down. I moaned as he forced the fourth in. Was it really necessarry?! His fingers were big and were working on stretching me. His thumb suddely massaged my clit and my body went into trembles from pleasure. Before I could climax, he pulled away. Leaving me in my high of almost getting it. I looked at him with a frown as he smiled like a devil. He knew what he done.
He pulled his shirt off then, standing over me as he worked into giving me a stip tease. His gym shorts came off slowly but when they fell- IT came out. I widened my eyes and backed up in fear. THAT THING CAN'T FIT IN ME.
"What?" He asked and I could tell he was eating up my fear. "It's only nine inches, don't be scared. MA-ybe nine and a half." He started stroking it and as it pulsed my body seemed to be surrendoring. I watched him coming closer to me- only grabbing my ankle and pulling me to him. He reached for my shorts and took them of with my panties at the same time.
As my knees reached him he suddenly turned me over. He pulled my hips in the air and I could feel it right on the entrance. I got up on my hands, thinking it would be good to stay on them. He laughed from behind me.
"What?" I asked softly.
"Nothing," he mumbled.
He rocked his hips and helped work his tip into my dripping entrance. He was hot. Pulsing. I moaned just from the temptation. He suddenly stopped and I felt him move my shirt up off my back- putting it over my head.
"Bite," he told me in a warning tone.
I did as instructed and bit down into my shirt. He suddenly started moving himself into me slowly- but the pain... made me scream as I clenched my jaw. I felt myself falling over but he held me up by my stomach. "Uh-uh. Stay up," he told me. I felt tears rushing to the surface as I shakily stayed on my hands. He pushed all the way in and suddenly let my stomach go. I was too afraid to move. His hand rubbed my ass and smacked it. "You can lay down now," he told me in a soft tone. I felt my elbow buckle as I fell down onto my chest. I held onto the shirt for dear life as he began rocking in and out of me. My tears faded... as I began to moan.
It felt so good. So- SO- so good. I couldn't move as I laid defeated on the ground. My ass up in the air as he rocked his hips into me. I could smell my own blood... but it didn't matter. I was finally feeling good. "Oh- Alpha," I moaned out. He seemed to like it as he picked up in speed. I noticed he was a quiet guy. No one warned me about any of this. Novels aren't like this. He quickened his speed. My moans going with him- until I felt it building up. My fingers going as numb as my toes curled. I moaned louder until gasping as my body cenched all together on his. Was this my first ever orgasm? Everything was tingling. It was amazing. A smile played on my face in joy. I suddenly heard him gasp and moan as he stopped moving. I felt it- warm liquid feeling me up inside. He pulled out only to turn me around. He looked me in the eyes and I smiled at him.
"Can we do that again?" I asked in embarssment. His lips crashed against mine and I felt him enter me to do as I wished. His eyes were only reflecting kindness and caring. The one thing I imagined my mate to have for me. He looked at me like I was the only important thing. His scent was so strong now to me. I felt my mouth watering as my mind boggled on questioning everything. What was I going to do when I woke up tomorrow? I couldn't dare show myself around Emmett... Around Cole... NOW, I won't even be able to look at this gorgeous man with a straight face. But, I'll enjoy tonight while it lasts.