After Nasya and the others finished cleaning and gave me first aid, the room went quiet again.
The Marquis was standing in the corner, drinking wine from a bottle, and when I was receiving the treatment I couldn't see at all what he was trying to do because Nasya wanted to get my attention with her words.
I was surprised by the Marquis's behavior. He has the position and power to sentence me to death or even a simple trial to set an example to others, but he did nothing, only throw a cup in my face.
Can you take this as a dislike? Maybe. Because he has the power but also obstacles that prevent him from free action. Nasya must have said her opinion to her father, and it also hasn't been long since we talked together, but maybe Spencer should have said something too.
If both of them were against my sentence then I don't have to worry about death, but the mystery of what decisions the Marquis will take from now on, makes the wait more difficult and I don't intend to stay locked in that room for more.
This life does not suit me and here I will always be on constant watch and at the risk of someone like that employee who tried to provoke me.
I no longer want to be 'that person' who talked with Spencer a while ago.
I know that life in this mansion and staying close to Nasya will make it possible for me to meet more characters in the novel, some envious and some thirsty for power and I will be in the middle of those two fires in search of freedom which no one will want to give me just because they will want to use my abilities, only if I search it myself, and now it's an opportunity that I shouldn't let it go to waste.
At that moment the Marquis went to his seat and looked at me, he sighed deeply and said, "Now I know what I needed to know, Nasya you and your pet can go to your rooms. I'm a little tired so leave!"
Nasya got up and slammed her hands on the table where the marquis was. She had opened her eyes wide and was showing her teeth angrily to her father.
"Father, I can't believe that you brought us here for this reason. When I finished the lectures you told me that the lunch I would share with the new Rapha would be postponed and the three of us would have dinner together in your studio, so you two will have the opportunity to know each other and speak in a civilized way, but you not only lie to me but also commit an action which I will never forgive."
"Nasya enough and do as I say, you don't know anything, so leave!"
"Ugh, what I need to know and what I want to know are two different things, so why did you do this?"
It was nice to see them getting angry at each other, it gave me a kind of relief because I was not doing anything and they still looked like they were going to fight, but I had to leave and let them talk, so I couldn't enjoy it a little longer.
After I went out I was trying to remember which way we took to get back to my room, but thankfully I was not alone. Someone came after me and accompanied me quietly as if he was not there and sometimes I turned my eyes to see him, but not for long because I felt kind of guilty.
The tense atmosphere of the studio was like a storm that had already gone away and had left behind its mess. The wound on my forehead still hurt and I couldn't wait to go to my room and vent out all the anger and pain I was feeling.
It was then that I suddenly heard my companion's steps stop. I turned my head in surprise and then I saw him, he was standing by the hallway window and the setting sun was touching his beautiful face and white hair.
His gaze was downward and he seemed to have many things on his mind. This more or less reminds me of a melancholic scene in a movie, when the girl abandons the boy and he suffers in silence, lowering his head and waiting for a sudden rain to wash away the pain.
Did something happen between him and Roan? I don't believe the Marquis must have discovered that they go out together. But then, why are you making that face?
Without knowing my body had moved on his own and I had gone so close to him that I would almost touch his face with my hand if I tried to stay on my toes, but his eyes fixed on me made me hesitate.
He looked broken and not so arrogant as before, I reached as far as I could and placed my hand on his left cheek.
"Are you ok now Spencer?"
He didn't seem to be against it, so I didn't remove my hand unless he told me to stop, and I was patiently waiting for his answer.
"You don't have to worry about me, my lady, at first you have to worry about yourself"- he said, turning in the other direction and starting to leave.
"Spencer, do you think that at sunset, the rays falling on your hair make you look like one of us?"
He stopped again and saw his white hair that had turned red. He smiled and turned to me. I believe this was the first time he showed such a sincere look to someone and it made me feel even worse than before.
Now that I see him, my heart aches from the guilt that I made this person choose between his love or me, someone he doesn't know, and also who killed someone without blinking an eye.
"I think that's true, we look very similar in this way and also that we will both be tools of someone seeking protection or power."
We are both tools and not just us, all who have nothing tend to go and seek the help of someone more powerful and end up as tools for achieving a selfish goal of 'their helper'.
Spencer was assisted by the Marquis and he is probably using him for his purposes and I also will be used by someone else, with or without my knowledge. The best way is to leave and stay away from the whole world, in order to find the freedom I lack.
"So, for me to not be used as a tool and harm innocent people, can I ask for a favor?"
"What is it about?"
"Can you help me get out of here?"
"..What?!"
He looked shocked, I know he didn't expect me to ask him something like this, but he has connections and knows the mansion better than anyone, so who better than him can help me.
"Ahem..so why are you asking me something like this, are you not afraid that I can tell my superior about your plan?"
"Can you say I'm a little desperate and I believe that you will help a friend with a common problem or am I wrong?"
He was standing confused in front of me not knowing what to do. Maybe I'm a little selfish that I'm putting him into my troubles, maybe he'll be fired from his duties or worse, but I am not lying when I say that I trust him that much that I think he will help me. Because maybe it was on purpose or without knowing it himself, before he addressed me with the title 'lady', although not in an elegant way, but I accept it anyway.
"You don't have to agree with what I say, you can even go and tell the Marquis if you feel like it, but I will still continue on the path I choose and try to find my happiness."
"…"
I had nothing more to say so I tried to leave without pushing him more into something that could hurt him too, because no one cares about my purpose and problems when they have their own to solve.
If I keep talking about my plans it will seem as if I am forcing him to help me, and for some people, they don't like it and take it as an insult.
"Oh, one more thing, if I manage to leave I hope one day I can meet again and see that you and Mr. Roan are together without fearing the people who may judge you. After all, is your happiness that matters."
"My happiness?"
"Yes I am going to find mine, you should do the same too!"
His green eyes shone under the red light that was fading away, and the sudden tears streaming down his face made me emotional and I wanted to cry with him too.
He closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly, placed his right arm on his chest, and said a small thank you. Then he raised his head and smiled at me.
If I knew then that my words would make him awake something inside him, I wish I had not told him, because that would be the last time I would see that bright smile after that tragedy took place.