The cloudless sky revealed the entirety of the full moon, and before they knew it, Lan Yuning's driver was outside Gu Xiao's home.
After he left, Gu Xiao took a shower and sat back down in the living room, pulling out a stack of past papers.
Gradually, he ended up staring at the ceiling with cluttered thoughts roaming around his brain. Everything seemed fine until Lan Yuning asked him if he liked anyone currently. After that, it appeared Lan Yuning's attention had drifted off elsewhere.
Gu Heiyu came out of her bedroom and started rummaging through the cabinets in the kitchen.
"Dad is eating dinner with that woman," she yawned and pulled out bags of chips.
"Did he tell you?"
"No. You didn't see, but before you brought Lan Yuning home, he was dressed quite... out of character. When I asked him where he was going, he got flustered and started stuttering."
"Really?" Gu Xiao said, wholly absorbed in his own thoughts.
"I'm surprised someone would want to go out with him. I doubt he would introduce her to us soon. Maybe that woman is playing around with dad, but why would she? It's not like he is rich. I heard she is actually from the UK. She only came to China on a contract from a branch company here. Let's say he does want to be in a serious relationship, and then that woman needs to go back to the UK."
"Oh, really?"
"Does that mean we will have to move countries? Hey, are you even listening to me?"
Even though Gu Heiyu was blabbering about their father and his lover, Gu Xiao's head was already preoccupied with his own feelings.
This fever within his chest numbed his mind every time he thought about Lan Yuning.
Now that he thought about it clearly, his heart was always skipping uncontrollably when he was around Lan Yuning.
Sometimes, he couldn't even look him in the eyes because he would enter this panicking state despite never showing it. He remembered Lan Yuning's words and kept thinking about it.
Gu Heiyu grabbed her food and was just about to head to her room until he yanked her down to the couch.
"I need help."
"Help? Yes, I know. Can I go now? I'm going to miss the stream."
Gu Xiao touched his chest and looked at his sister with droopy eyes. She followed his actions and furrowed her brows.
Seeing that she would probably stay here, she ripped open her packet of chips and chewed on them aggressively.
"I like him."
Just as she was about to swallow the chips, she choked and spat out everything in her mouth while even punching her chest twice.
"Are you stealing someone from my list of one hundred and fifty-eight husbands?"
"When did it reach one hundred and fifty-eight? Hold on, that's not the point. Now that I think about it, my heart always beats so fast every time he is around me. Is that strange?"
"Are you okay? No, you were never okay. Who are you even talking about?" she asked and coughed out the remaining rice that was stuck in her throat.
Without hesitation, he said, "Lan Yuning."
Hearing that, Gu Heiyu choked on her snacks again and widened her eyes as though she was having traumatic flashbacks from the day she was in their mother's stomach until now.
Yet, she wasn't surprised because her brother liked a boy—she already knew he liked him, judging by the way Gu Xiao spoke of him—but the fact that he admitted it so nonchalantly.
"You like him?"
"I think I do. I tried so hard to maintain my composure when he asked me who I liked. What if it was obvious that it looked like I liked him? He would probably be weirded out."
"Calm down, calm down. How does your heart beat? Is it like a strong beat or is it soft? Or is it a strong, soft beat? Or soft, strong beat? Or maybe a mix and match?" she asked earnestly, which made Gu Xiao's brain buffer for a moment.
"Just answer me."
"Maybe all of the above."
Her pupils dilated, and she waved her chip at him.
With the sudden change of her expression, Gu Xiao leaned in, wondering what sort of wisdom she would share with him.
"What is it?"
"You have coronary artery disease."
"...."
"Heart disease, my ass. You're the one who is lactose intolerant, but keep drinking milk with everything you eat."
Gu Heiyu gaped at his words and kept opening and closing her mouth, trying to find sentences to retaliate with, but she couldn't.
"Well, this is your first time saying this."
"Is it strange?" he asked.
"No, it's not. I just didn't think you could ever like someone judging by your notorious dating history. What comes to your mind when you think about him?"
Ignoring her previous words, he mumbled, "When I think about him..."
During class today when Lan Yuning asked him whether he spoke that way to everyone, he wanted to deny it, but no words left his mouth then.
He wouldn't exactly say 'I want to be with you' or 'you are really cute' to his friends, because those thoughts never popped into his head when he hung out with them.
The image of that earnest boy sitting next to him in the classroom, while the setting sunlight filtered through the windows, rose in his mind.
Watching him write, stealing brief glances, listening to him talk, the way his face flushes red easily, his silence, his occasional childish acts, Gu Xiao liked it all.
He simply enjoyed being with him. He liked having Lan Yuning next to him. It was something so simple, yet he couldn't explain his feelings into words at all.
"Earth to Gu Xiao? Why are you smiling like that? I'm worried for Lan Yuning."
Gu Xiao snapped back to his senses and asked, "Why are you worried about him?"
"He seems way better than your exes. I even think he's a bit too good for you. Even though your exes were slightly questionable, it was sad watching you treat them like that. It wasn't exactly bad, but it never seemed like you were ever dating, you know? Maybe you were just inexperienced, but do you really not know why they broke up with you?"
"Not really."
"Look, compare your feelings for Lan Yuning to your exes. Have you ever had these feelings?"
He dug through his memories and pondered for a moment before shaking his head slowly.
"I couldn't even tell the difference between them and Zhang Yongyin."
Gu Xiao, who was blinking in confusion and shock, tried to dig through his train of memories from embarrassment.
"How am I still alive?"
Now that he placed focus on this topic, he didn't care about romantic companionship. In the past, when people confessed to him, he would always reject them. After all, he barely talked to most of them, or maybe he did.
He couldn't remember since he spoke to everyone. They continued to ask him to give them chances and fall for them after a certain number of dates, so he just accepted their confession nonchalantly.
It always ended up the same.
When they realised he didn't exactly live up to the expectation of a 'loving' partner, they broke up with him, and all of them only lasted for a week or two. Possibly even less.
Yet, everyone was relatively immature during that time, so he had forgotten most of it already, especially with everything that came to him later on.
She pointed to him and gushed, "You had absolutely zero. None. Nothing. Completely no attraction. Towards them. At all. So, I never understood why you would agree. They probably saw you as an easy person."
After carefully thinking without missing any details, the first time he ever felt his heart flutter was because of him.
By him, he meant Lan Yuning.
When he simply thought about him, the corner of his lips raised.
"How gross. Look at the way you're smiling," she sighed. "Your love life, not mine. If you're still confused about whether you like Lan Yuning, just imagine him being with someone else. Imagine him dating someone else or showing affection to someone else. Holding hands, eating together, texting, or whatever couples do. Imagine it and see how you feel."
The feelings of wanting to hold and embrace Lan Yuning always took over his desires, but he was glad he distracted his mind by chanting the national anthem in his head.
Even if Lan Yuning wasn't speaking, something about being with him made him let go of all his constraints and cautiousness.
It was the first time he felt like this about anyone that he was unsure of what to think or do.
All these emotions were so foreign to him that he had nothing to rely on or refer to besides the internet, which wasn't a good choice.
"If someone else was with him..."
Gu Xiao flung his body back fully onto the couch, staring at the fan that creaks with each spin. He reached for his pockets and pulled out the small candy he gave him.
Upon remembering that moment in the classroom when Lan Yuning brushed his cold fingers against his hair, he couldn't stop his heart from melting.
He touched his cheeks and forehead, and despite the chilly air, his entire body was burning from the faintest touch and the soft voice of that boy.
"I don't think I will like it."
...
After lying on the couch like some dead fish while thinking about everything, Gu Xiao was confident in his feelings. He liked him. He really liked him.
Immediately, he pulled out his phone and called Zhang Yongyin, who picked up after the third ring.
"What? Can you buy me a skin gift pack in Honour of Kings?"
"I like Lan Yuning."
Coughing and choking sounded from Zhang Yongyin's side of the phone, and this lasted for about five minutes until Gu Xiao told him to shut up.
"What? Romantically or platonically?"
"Romantically. Also, I met He Rong recently too."
Zhang Yongyin started choking on his food again. "What?!"