People all around were celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival. Spending time with relatives, going out to restaurants, eating moon cake under a warm light with laughter and smiles. Yet, some spent this festive night alone.
Drinking under the cold sky, working far away, smoking by themselves. It was strange how this day signified family reunion and for people to appreciate the moon in the evening, watching the all-pervading splendour of the grounds. But the moon itself was so far away and desolate.
Gu Xiao rummaged through his shelf in search of his notebooks. His hands brushed past a small album, and it fell onto the floor along with other loose papers.
He bent down to tidy them up, but his eyes were fixated on the photo album from his old high school. Or to be specific, on these two specific people. Wu Fei and He Rong. He didn't know why he hadn't thrown his old school photos out along with the rest of his things.
Wu Fei, He Rong, Gu Xiao, and Zhang Yongyin used to be a tight group back in Shanghai until a certain incident that forced them to drift apart, though it was to be expected since all four of them were trying to come into terms with their problems that they hid away so deeply.
When he stared at the faces he once saw every day, those memories of that stifling classroom resurfaced. Vandalising, whispers, laughters.
When things grew too hard, they gave up. Soon, they disappeared from the world without a word. They scattered like the seagulls in summer, flying further and further away from their hometown. Never to be in reach.
The clouds drifted down, covering the evening sky, and washed the buildings and trees warmly.
Gu Xiao sank into his train of deep thoughts, and soon, his mind drowned in a state of emptiness, as though the tranquil brush of the wind washed and dragged the burdensome memories above the surface.
After discovering that Song Anwen remembered him and Wu Fei from the science competition and the debating team, his presence somewhat frightened him. It appeared he knew more than what he said. What exactly was going through his brain?
He thought back on his conversation with Song Anwen—for one's ego to be so big that they destroy themselves. Sometimes, those who belittle others were due to the birth of jealousy.
Perhaps they suffered from a crucial lack of self-esteem and love and could be their worst critic. Maybe the only validation they received for themselves was to point out the flaws of others to take their attention from their own.
To bring others lower, only so they would appear higher.
Those who belittled others had probably been exacted with their own treatment once in their lives, which simply bred more hate. And that bud of hate that grew towards others only found its way back to stab themselves.
...
Gu Heiyu skipped home with satisfaction upon knowing her brother was now attending the compulsory evening study classes after missing them for almost an entire year.
She entered their home. It was dull and messy, the rugs and couch were not even set straight, and clothes were scattered everywhere.
The wooden planks and walls creaked every night, and the windows constantly rattled with the loudest voice from the wind's howls. But within this shabby and old place lived two strangers connected by blood.
"I got mooncake."
She knocked on his door, and clumsy footsteps instantly dashed forwards. Gu Xiao slammed the door open, and dust fell down the ceiling.
"Mooncake?" The moment Gu Xiao saw the bag, the corner of his lips raised so high that it reached his ears.
"Yeah, this is from Aunt Zhi."
With the only sound reaching her ears being the crumples of the plastic bag, Gu Heiyu looked into his room and saw the old photo albums on his table.
Suddenly, she brought her mind back down and looked at her brother with cheeks full of the mooncake.
When she noticed something different about the weight of her bag, her beady eyes travelled down. Her eyelids blinked rapidly as she shook the plastic bag and even tipped it upside down.
Shaking it twice before clenching the bag tightly, she asked, "Where did my mooncake go?"
"Was that yours?"
Her eyes widened, rounded in shock, while her lips slightly separated. With the change of her expression, he quickly gulped everything down, and all colour soaked through his face.
"Did you just eat both of them?"
"I think so."
Once again, Gu Xiao met another terrible death at the hands of his own beloved sister. The sounds of screaming, crying, apologising, every sound that one could think of, resonated throughout the thin-walled home. Within the vast night sky, the moon watched this small home and shone a profound light above them.
...
He kneaded his neck that had finger marks all over from when Gu Heiyu tried to make him spit out the mooncake.
"How is she getting so strong day by day?" he mumbled.
The creaks of a door unlocking and opening travelled throughout the small house, and he checked on who it was. Stepping out of his room, he saw their father walking in, and their eyes met.
"Dad?"
Their father had naturally downcast eyes and a short stubble beard. The dim-lit living room emphasized his tan skin, which had patches of areas that were slightly darker than the rest, and the way he walked with a slouched back was distinct, revealing a sort of vulnerability.
Lost and somewhat lonely.
Their father walked to the kitchen and filled a cup with water.
The scent of sweat reeked from this man, and the only thought that appeared in Gu Xiao's head was that he was gambling again.
With a quiet voice that struggled to express itself, Gu Xiao mumbled, "Happy Mid-Autumn Festival."
Gu Heiyu walked out of her room and raised her brows when she saw their father.
Her brother, who was standing in the living room, headed back into his room and quietly shut his door, not saying anything more.
The familiar back of their father stood still in the kitchen as he continued drinking, but he let out a sigh of distress. Yet, it didn't reach anyone. Her lips pursed, and she remained silent. Just as she was about to head back into her room, their father let out a soft "um."
She walked to the kitchen where their father stood, his back slouched and callous-filled palms rested on the bench.
He lowered his gaze to his plastic cup, watching the ripples of the water meet the edges of the cup.
It had been months, possibly more, that they spoke properly when their father was in a non-drunken state. She wasn't even sure of what to say herself. All she felt was disappointment and guilt, yet an indescribable sorrow wrung her heart.
Both Gu Xiao and Gu Heiyu could never detest their father, nor were they disappointed in him specifically. Instead, they were disappointed in themselves.
"Happy Mid-Autumn Festival."
Gu Heiyu turned back to return to her room, but their father let out another "um," except it was longer.
He handed her a bag and deeply exhaled. She looked inside the bag, and her heart slightly skipped.
It was easy to discern that these were a cheap brand, judging by the colour and packaging. But to them, what others found cheap was what they saw as luxury.
"Eat it with Gu Xiao."
Without saying anything more, their father walked back into the living and laid himself on the couch, resting his heavy eyelids.
Gu Heiyu went back to her room and put down the bag of mooncakes. She noticed how cluttered her desk was and started tidying up her table, moving and rearranging her shelves, so all her books fit.
While she pulled out some books to put the others in, her eyes landed on a small black journal with stickers spread over the cover.
Picking up her forgotten journal that she probably wrote in when she was twelve, she started reading a couple of pages.