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"It's not same thing." Spots soothed as he rubbed circles across my back as tears streamed down my cheeks.
His warm hand was the only thing keeping me grounded, while the rest of my body felt like pins and needles. I had just finished clumsily telling him about the times I spent with Vilkas and his unwanted advances.
Instead of pity, Spots looked at me with understanding. It was no secret that some of the caretakers had their favorites, and Spots was one of them.
I had also explained how I first met my Daddy, but that he hadn't approached me in such a way since. Then I told him about my terrible actions the night before, about the way I was just like Vilkas. It was clear that my Daddy lost interest in me. Most of the time he looked at me like he had to force himself from running away, and he tended to avoid me. His first reaction to me was probably because he had a "heat," or whatever it was called.
"It IS the same." I urged, wiping at my face with the back of my hand. "He hates me even more now."
Spots scoffed, but the gentle smile on his face told me he wasn't upset. "He is your mate. Like Koda and me."
I didn't say anything and only fidgeted at the hem of my sweater. I didn't know what anyone meant by mate, but Spots and Koda were different. Koda looked at Spots with such an open and loving expression and doted on him. He wasn't scary or angry. My Daddy always seemed mad, like he was itching to kill something.
"You just need talking with him." Spots said. His speech still wasn't the best and it made me cringe. Not because I minded or thought less of him, but because it made me think of the caretaker that liked him. Vilkas did a lot of talking with me, and only a little touching. But what about Spots? Did his caretaker spend less time talking and more of the latter?
"He doesn't want to talk." I murmured with a frown.
"He thinks you like Vilkas." He pursed his lips as he turned my chin so that I met his eyes.
"What?" I nearly shouted.
Spots sighed. "That's what you say to him."
I thought back for a second. I certainly didn't mean to say that, but I panicked when I saw him. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to tell him I didn't mean to force him, but what had even come out of my mouth?
"You need talking." Spots repeated. "He is mate."
I shook my head, still not knowing what he meant by that. But he was right about talking. Even if he didn't like me, he still needed to know that I never intended to use him. I never wanted him to feel as dirty as how I felt with Vilkas.
"I'll try." I finally said, though the frown on my face deepened and my brows creased with worry. When would I even see my Daddy again?
"Good." Spots shot me a relieved grin.
I offered a half hearted smile that probably looked more like a grimace. Spots snorted, and enveloped me in a much needed embrace.
"Thanks, Spots." I murmured into his shoulder as my teary eyes threatened to spill again.