Dominika (Pale As Dead I)

𝗗𝗘𝗘

𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗲 𝟭𝟴, 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝟳 𝗮.𝗺.

"Hey, where are you guys na ba kasi?"

"We're at the front doors. Kanina pa kami naghihintay sa'yo. Are you lost?"

"If it's a sin to get lost in a big, new place, then I'm sorry," I told Helen, one of my best friends, sarcastically. "Dapat kasi dinaanan niyo na lang din ako sa bahay, eh."

"Excuse me?" I heard Gwen, my other best friend, say. Helen put me on speaker when she answered my call so she and Gwen could both talk to me. "Dumaan kami sa inyo but you were still sound asleep. May pasok pa si Kuya, okay? He couldn't wait too long for us."

"Yeah, right. Get best friends, they say. It's always fun, they say," I retorted. Binilisan ko lalo ang lakad so I could reach the front doors of our new school before mainip yung dalawa.

The three of us were only starting our freshman year in Miwako Gakuen, one of the biggest schools in the country, located in Cantu City. It was an international school owned by the Matsuoka Group, a corporation based in Japan that was headed by Ryusuke Matsuoka. He was a Japanese billionaire who used to live in the Philippines. About seven years ago, he went back to his home country when he retired as the principal here after filling in that role for nearly two decades.

Miwako facilitated classes from grade school to high school. We were from a different private school from the nearest city east of Cantu, but a change of scenery for our high school was what I exactly needed after everything that happened these past couple of months, and I was really grateful to my best friends for coming along. I needed something. Something that would not remind me of the things I hated to remember.

The walk to the front doors was overwhelming, considering the fact that a lot of students curiously looked at me, like an indirect way of telling me that I was new and I did not belong yet. Ang daming matang nakasunod sa akin and they made me feel uncomfortable, yet in an ironic way, they also made me feel excited somehow.

Hinawi ko ang buhok ko papunta sa likod ko and I squared my shoulders in an attempt to look confident. I knew that was what I needed so I won't have to look stupid later dahil sa awkwardness ko.

Nang makarating na ako sa front doors ng main building, I found Helen arguing with a tall guy who looked a lot like the Pinoy version of Andrew McCarthy in the '80s. Gwen was grabbing Helen by the arm to stop our ravenous best friend from charging at him. He was laughing at Helen. I ran as fast as I could, without tempting to trigger my asthma, and stepped in between them.

"What's going on here?"

"Napadaan lang naman ako tapos sinugod na 'ko nitong kaibigan mo," he quickly answered. The way he spoke so softly also reminded me of the actor he looked like. I had already watched the movie Mannequin over a thousand times just because of Andrew McCarthy, so I was pretty confident about the comparison.

The guy gave me a million-dollar smirk which made me heave a deep breath. Gwapo siya, I would give him that, but I was not about to surrender to anyone's arrogance.

"'Wag kang maniwala d'yan, Dee! He was running aimlessly for some reason and he bumped into Gwen," Helen said. "Look at her shirt now."

Gwen's white shirt was splattered with Coke which she must have been drinking a while ago. The empty bottle was still in her hand. I turned back to the guy to ask him if that was true, but he was nowhere to be found already. Kung saan man siya nakarating agad, we had no idea.

Helen stomped her foot. "He got away! That douche bag!"

"Okay ka lang ba?" I asked Gwen who was busy trying to wipe off the stain on her shirt with a tissue.

"I'm fine. Pinabayaan niyo na lang sana." She smiled at us. "He apologized, anyway."

"They sell uniforms inside naman, 'di ba?" I said. "Bili na lang tayo ng bago. You don't wanna go the whole day wearing that malagkit na shirt."

So we bought a new shirt for Gwen from the school's supply store. Our uniform was very much inspired by the typical school uniforms in Japan, like the whole place itself.

The girls wore a white shirt with long sleeves, a navy blue blazer on top, and a red tie if in high school. On the left chest side of the blazer was the school's initials embroidered elegantly in gold-colored thread. For the bottom, we wore a pleated navy blue skirt with tartan pattern. I wore thigh-high black socks because I was a cringey nerd like that. We all wore Mary Jane shoes which were just super cute. The guys wore basically the same thing but with a fatter tie, navy blue trousers, and black leather shoes. But inside the building, we all had to change into our white indoor shoes for strict compliance.

"Okay, so we've still got fifteen minutes before the opening ceremony," sabi ni Helen pagka-check ng wristwatch niya. "We should be checking our classes na."

"I heard naka-post yung class rosters sa bulletin boards na nasa quadrangle," sabi naman ni Gwen so we decided na pumunta na doon para tingnan kung saang class ba kami napunta. More importantly, kung classmates ba kaming tatlo.

When we got there, sobrang daming students pa rin ang nandito para hanapin ang pangalan nila. Sinubukan naming makisiksik but to no avail. Gusto ko nang mainis pero ayokong sirain ang first day of school ko.

"Excuse me."

We all turned behind us at that timid voice. There was a short girl there, halos ka-height lang ni Helen na hanggang mata lang namin ni Gwen. But she was so beautiful that I had to remind myself na hindi ako dapat mapanganga. She had long, voluminous hair that fell down her back in big waves. Her face was very small, and the deep dimples on each side of her cheeks showed as she pursed her lips habang pinipilit niya ring sumingit.

A whistle whisked my attention away from the girl. One student came—he was a senior based sa III na pin sa tabi ng logo ng school on his uniform. Mukhang mainit ang ulo niya at inutusan niya ang lahat na pumila nang maayos. Baka member ng student council or something. So we had no choice but to line up properly. Luckily, nakadaya kami at medyo sa unahan kami napapila.

When it was our turn, inuna kong tingnan ang Class 1-A from the very bottom because of my last name. And hindi naman ako nabigo. I saw my name agad.

28. 𝘠𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘢, 𝘋𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘢 𝘐𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘯𝘢

Tinuro ko sa kanila ang pangalan ko while also searching for theirs. "Hey, 1-A ako."

Helen groaned. "Shit, hindi tayo magkaklase, Dee."

"What?"

Itinuro sa akin ni Gwen ang names nila ni Helen from 1-B.

16. 𝘓𝘰, 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘗𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘦

22. 𝘙𝘦𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘰, 𝘎𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘺𝘯 𝘑𝘢𝘯𝘦

"Shit talaga," sabi ko. "Nakakawalang gana naman."

Umalis na kami sa pwesto namin para maka-advance ang pila at bago pa kami masigawan ng student council member na mukhang mainit talaga ang ulo.

"Our grades are the same kasi nagkokopyahan lang naman tayo, pero bakit magkakaiba tayo ng classes?"

Gwen and I could not help but laugh at what Helen said.

"Magkatabi lang naman siguro ang rooms natin, Dee," sabi ni Gwen. "Ayaw mo ba no'n? Kapag gym class, classes natin ang magkalaban for sure. Dudurugin kita sa volleyball."

Inirapan ko siya. I wasn't very athletic because of my asthma so her joke was not very funny, considering her brother was a volleyball player who played with her a lot. "Powder na nga, dudurugin mo pa."

"Let's go to the quadrangle na, baka mag-start na ang opening ceremony," yakag ni Helen kaya nagmadali na kami ulit.

The opening ceremony did not take too long. Wala pa yatang twenty minutes na nagsalita ang school principal who was also a daughter of Ryusuke Matsuoka. She was a woman in her early thirties who seemed very nice and intelligent. The school itself was very nice. Ang feeling ko, nasa loob ako ng animes na pinapanood ko.

I loved anime—my best friends and I did. That was the main reason why we chose na dito sa Miwako lumipat dahil sa pagiging katulad nito sa Japanese schools. Weird and nerdish, I knew, but come on. We all watched Dragon Ball, Flame of Recca, Slam Dunk, and Ghost Fighter, and dreamed of eating lunch at the school rooftop when we were kids.

"Hey, gusto niyong mag-Starbucks muna mamaya after school?" Helen asked as we walked back to the main building. "Gwenny, four pa ang tapos ng classes ni Kuya Simon, right?"

Gwen nodded absentmindedly dahil busy siya sa pagre-reply sa kung sino man ang ka-text niya.

"Then sakto!" Helen grinned. "Two-thirty ang tapos ng classes natin. Pwedeng doon na lang tayo daanan ni Kuya Simon."

"Sure," sabi ko na lang kasi parang natakam din ako for a cup of strong cold brew.

It was really a custom na hatid-sundo kami ng kuya ni Gwen. Sa dati kasi naming school, bahay nila ang farthest so madadaanan ang houses namin ni Helen on their way to and from kaya isinasabay nila kami. Then luckily, ganoon din ang situation sa Miwako. Bahay pa rin nila Gwen ang pinakamalayo so ganoon pa rin ang set-up naming tatlo. Kanina, late akong nagising at maaga ang pasok ni Kuya Simon every Monday so hindi na nila ako nahintay. I had to ask our driver to take me to school.

Pagpasok ulit namin sa main building, we were greeted by the big, blue banner that hung between two columns by the entryway once again. It had the school logo printed on it in white—an open book underneath a blooming tree. Above it was the school's slogan, Excellency in discipline, and at the bottom were the name and the year it was established, 1973.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, okay," sabi ni Helen while she read the manual handed to us during the ceremony like it was something she had to decode. Tinapon ko na yung sa akin, eh. "So bukas until the end of the first term, we'll wear the short-sleeved shirts without these blazers, correct?"

I arched an eyebrow. "Hindi ka ba nakakaintindi ng English?"

Siniringan niya ako. "Ang talino mo, ha. Sa'kin ka nga nakopya sa math."

"Hindi naman perfect."

"Okay, fine! I hate math. You know na ayoko ng numbers and equations."

"But you're good at everything else, so that's still great," I told her with a smile then turned to Gwen. "Sino ba 'yang ka-text mo? Iiwan ka rin naman n'yan."

Siniringan din ako ni Gwen. "Kapag iniwan talaga ako ni Kuya and hindi na ako hinatid starting tomorrow, kayo rin ang kawawa."

"I didn't know na siya ang kausap mo," I muttered as I took off my outdoor shoes and placed them safely inside the shoe locker. There were the complementary indoor shoes inside with a cute note saying, Welcome, freshie! I quickly put them on and closed it. Outside its small door was a tiny plastic plaque with my name printed in simple bold letters. Helen's locker was two doors away from mine, while yung kay Gwen ay nasa kabilang side pa.

We passed through the back doors that led to the other buildings for classrooms while we shouldered our bags which were kind of heavy. Miwako did not have lockers for our things, para sa shoes lang.

Here there was a roofed hallway stretching far ahead that had multiple turns, each leading to a different building. There were eight more buildings in this area, and half of them were accessible by entering the other buildings from the main hallway. We looked for Building Roku, where all freshman and sophomore high school classes were held. We got there by passing through Building Yon where there were classrooms for senior high school students and some clubrooms, according to their website which I thoroughly read and studied.

A small library and a few meeting rooms ang nasa first floor ng building namin. Our classrooms were on the second floor.

"So, I'll see you guys later at lunch," sabi ko sa kanila. "Ayokong maghintay sa hallway so let's just meet sa library sa baba, okay lang?"

"Sure," sang-ayon nila and they kissed my cheeks before we went to our respective classrooms.

When my best friends left, doon ko na-feel yung total pressure of being alone in a new school na walang kakilala. Doon ko rin lalong na-feel yung excitement dahil I really liked our school.

All eyes turned on me as soon as I stepped in. Boys smiled and girls raised their eyebrows, but I pretended I saw nothing. My eyes spotted the seat at the far corner of the room, beside the window, and I quickly occupied it before anyone else could. Anime main characters all sat here, after all.

Once I settled, nilabas ko yung manga that I brought with me, Naruto Volume 51, and placed my headphones on my head with blink-182 blasting from its speakers.

Three minutes and seven pages into the music and the manga, I saw the door slide open through my peripheral but I barely had the energy to check who came in. I was pretty sure it was not our teacher as they should not be here for another ten minutes at least.

"He's here!"

Who the fuck came in now?

I stopped from flipping to the next page. Even with my headphones on, I could still hear the voices of my classmates. I thought mas civilized ang mga tao dito kasi discipline nga ang selling point nila.

The girl in front of me stood up and pulled the chair next to hers, so I lowered my headphones and looked to the door.

Strutting in was a boy hanging his blazer on one shoulder with his fingers. His other hand was inside his trouser's pocket and with his other shoulder where his backpack lazily hung from, binangga niya yung mga students na nakaharang sa dadaanan niya kasi gusto siyang salubungin.

"Shishi! Here! This seat beside me is free!"

"No, Shishi! Here! This seat beside me!"

"Hey, bitch! Get off that seat! Shishi's taking that!"

He never said a word. But the scowl that deepened the knot between his brows told everything. He did not want the attention.

I watched as he made his way to my direction and for a second, our eyes met. But it was literally only for a second kasi napatingin siya agad sa desk ko. Subtly, umiling siya. I could swear he clucked his tongue. Tapos hinila niya yung chair sa kanan ko at umupo siya doon. Then inilaglag niya sa floor ang backpack niya.

I could only see half of his face because his eyes were fixated in the front. He got a very annoyed look, like his mama just forced him to go to school so he wouldn't be disowned. But he looked quite the attractive guy from your local school whom every girl would have a crush on.

The smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke wafted through the air, but I had to stop myself from covering my nose with my fingers. Smoking, that I would understand, but drinking? On a school day? Before the class even started? That was way beyond what I could begin to understand.

Bigla siyang lumingon sa akin and the glare in his eyes rooted me to my chair. "Anong tinitingin-tingin mo?"

God, I was staring. But I did not expect that he would be so rude about it.

"You're drunk," I spat and turned away to focus on my manga again. I did not mean to be rude as well, but I was rubbed off the wrong way. Sure, I was wrong to stare at him for more than five seconds, but he did not have to be so crass. I knew na gusto niya 'tong upuan ko but first come, first serve.

"Parang tanga," I heard him mutter. My eyes grew larger and I looked at him again. He was already leaning his head on top of his bent arms above the table.

He was really so rude.

But I knew why I stared.

The way he walked, the way his shoulders were rigid and taut, the way his chin jutted out, even the way he draped his blazer over his shoulder—they all reminded me of Zach.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at tumingin sa mga classmates kong babae na nagkumpulan sa isang gilid at kinukuhanan ng picture ang seatmate ko. I thought it only happened in movies—heck, only in anime actually—but here we were.

Pagtingin ko ulit sa seatmate ko, nakaharap siya sa direction ko habang nakaunan sa arms niya ang ulo niya. Nakapikit na siya at mahimbing nang natutulog.

"Shishi is so cute kahit tulog!"

"More pictures!"

"Shishi!"

Shishi was a cute name, bagay sa kanya. And ang alam ko, 'shishi' could be translated as 'lion' in Japanese. So medyo bagay.

I put my headphones back on and returned to my manga.

Minsan, gusto ko nang batukan ang sarili ko. Sa lahat na lang ng bagay, naaalala ko si Zach. Kahit sa bagong school na nilipatan namin, siya pa rin ang naaalala ko. Nakakainis lang dahil siya rin naman ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito.

Everything still fucking reminded me of that asshole. That asshole who promised to stay by my side forever. That asshole who broke his promise and left me without any words of good bye. That asshole who left me with nothing but resentment.

"I don't know if I'd congratulate you or say I'm sorry." "Why?" I asked the girl in front of me.

"Shishi sat beside you but every girl in this room hates you now. I actually hate you now na rin."

"Wow. Thanks," sabi ko na lang. I scoffed when she looked away kasi that was a blow I did not expect.

"You don't know him?"

"No, I don't."

She propped her forearm sa sandalan ng chair niya. "Check out kuraimiwako.com and you'd know him from head to toe."

∘ ⸻ ∘

𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗡

𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗲 𝟭𝟴, 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝟳:𝟯𝟱 𝗮.𝗺.

"Oh, fuck. We're so malas."

Gwen chuckled before siya tumalikod ulit mula sa direction ng door at humarap sa akin. "Yeah, you are so malas."

"Why me lang? Ikaw rin. He could spill a gallon of gas on you next."

"Get over it, drama queen. Ako nga, walang pakialam."

I rolled my eyes and faced the window to my left na lang because I did not want to see the face of that guy who spilt soda on her. The way he escaped earlier really annoyed me kasi kasalanan niya naman talaga. He was not looking. He was waving at the girls who were shouting his name.

Paris. That was what I heard them call him. Such a baduy name for a guy. It was so cliché na classmate namin siya.

"Yeah, ayos din do'n. Tumugtog kami do'n dati, eh."

I snorted. Ang lakas ng boses niya. The moment he entered, nagkagulo na ang lahat. Everyone greeted him, boys and girls alike. The boys wanted to talk to him about casual 'bro things' while the girls wanted to get him to look their way. He did not disappoint them naman. He greeted everyone back, made small talks with the boys and waved at the girls.

I was used to having popular kids in school. Heck, every year sa old school namin nagpapalit ng popular kid. Paris was obviously one of those pero mukhang long-standing yung status niya.

"Hey, sorry ulit kanina."

Gwen and I both craned our necks. Paris stood beside Gwen and his full lips spread across his face in a wide smile. It was not even five seconds yet pero nangalay na ang leeg ko sa pagtingala. When we first met him, I noticed that the top of my head barely reached his shoulders. Ang hirap kasing hindi yun mapansin dahil nag-effort ako kanina na tingnan siya sa mata so he would know na bwisit siya.

"That's fine," Gwen said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Papalitan ko sana yung shirt mo kaso hindi ko alam yung size mo," he said and laughed inwardly.

"Nakabili naman ako ng bago."

"Yeah, I know." His smiling eyes surveyed Gwen up and down before he held out a big hand to her.

"Paris nga pala."

Gwen shook it and told him her name, then he turned to me next.

"Helen," I just said but I did not shake his hand.

His grin broadened. "Lover ni Helen si Paris, alam mo ba yun?"

Napasimangot ako. "Yeah, I read my Greek myth when I was a kid. Nobody cares about myths in real life. Fuck off."

"Wow," he muttered. Gwen apologized to him and he left without another word. Vacant yung seat sa pinaka-front kaya doon siya umupo. Two seats from me kasi kahilera ko siya. Seeing his back profile still irked me kaya kay Gwen ako humarap.

"Can you believe that moron?" I hissed. Kaya ayoko sa name niya because of that freaking myth about the city of Troy.

"I think he was hitting on you," Gwen said, smirking.

"Oh, God. Please. I don't like dickheads."

She mouthed an inaudible 'okay' before busying herself sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit sa loob ng bag niya. While she did that, her hair cascaded and covered her face. She tucked it behind her ear. Napatingin siya sa akin at tinaasan ako ng kilay kaya inirapan ko siya at humarap na lang ako ulit sa window.

I did not like the current set-up. Lalo akong nainggit kay Dee kasi wala siya sa loob ng classroom na 'to.

Not long after, our teacher strode in. He introduced himself as Mr. Dimaano and he would be our Homeroom teacher until the end of the school year. Paris was talking to the boy next to him but he immediately shut up and greeted Mr. Dimaano as if they were the best buds in the history of the world's best buds.

"As exuberant as usual, Mr. Abrell," Mr. Dimaano said as he carefully placed a portfolio above his desk. "Kailan kayo ulit tutugtog sa school?"

Great. Kaibigan nga siya ng teacher. Sa bagay, ganoon naman talaga kapag popular kid. Everyone liked you, even the teachers.

"Yung Vandalics baka sa Christmas ball pa, sir, pero yung PAD mukhang malabo sa ngayon, eh," sabi ni Paris.

"What about the school festival?"

"Hindi pa ako sure, sir."

"He's in a band?" Gwen whispered to me.

"Looks like it," sabi ko na lang as I waited for my name to be called kasi nagsimula na rin ang rollcall.

Unang tinawag nga si Paris, eh. And napasimangot na naman ako kasi tumayo pa siya at nag-bow. Everyone but me laughed. Even Gwen laughed.

"Mr. Dimaano, pwede mag-announce?" Paris asked when our teacher finished calling everyone. Mr. Dimaano gave him the go-signal, so he stood up again and faced us. "Guys, may gig ang Pale As Dead sa Toracco this Saturday. Punta kayo. Free gig, just buy your own—"

Mr. Dimaano cleared his throat kaya tumawa si Paris. Halatang inaasar niya in a friendly way ang teacher namin.

"—juice or soda. Masarap orange juice nila do'n," Paris continued. "Yun lang. Thank you."

"Dee likes bands, 'di ba?" Gwen said.

I studied her face for a moment kasi I knew where this question was headed but I wanted to make sure that she was asking for Dee's sake. "Yeah. She'd love this."

"We should go then!" Gwen smiled from ear to ear. "Mukhang masaya. Hindi pa tayo nakakasama ulit kay Dee sa gigs, 'di ba? Yung last time, no'ng nandito pa si Zach."

"Aw, don't mention that to Dee. Pero sige, let's ask her. Need niya rin ng pagkakaabalahan. Kaso lalabas ako when it's Palest Dead's—or whatever their band's name is—turn na."

"Mukhang cool naman si Paris. Nag-sorry naman na siya."

"I know, but he looks maharot and I don't like maharots."

"Fine. Basta pupunta tayo do'n."

Siniringan ko si Gwen. Napailing na lang ako kasi nag-shrug lang siya.

"And Mr. Abrell?"

Tumigil ulit si Paris sa pakikipag-chat niya and sobrang attentive na sumagot agad. "Yes po?"

"We have three new students in class. You're their chaperone today, okay?"

Paris leaned back on his seat at nilingon kami ni Gwen. My friend gave him a nod, but I did not. He smirked though. And he gave us a small wave. Nakakabwisit talaga siya.