If there was one thing I had learned during
all my life was not trusting anyone except for me, my mother and my brother. They were the only two people who looked after me in all that time. In a world full of hatred, envy and disdain, disregard and being responsible were the best weapons to manage a happy life.
I was raised in the San Francisco suburbs. Danger wasn't on the agenda, but it lived inside my house. My father abandoned me and my family when I was just nine, and he never came back. Growing up without a paternal figure and with a mother who was forced to bend over backwards for her children built a shield around my heart and no one could ever destroy it. I found myself protecting me and my family from everything that could probably happen, taking an unwilling behaviour with people and being ready for everything.
Fortunately, that didn't stop me from following my own dreams. After high school, I enrolled in the Journalism major at the San Francisco State University. I remember journalism has always been one of my biggest ambitions. I have always loved to write, it could lock me up in a bubble where I used to isolate myself. It was wonderful. My mother once told me that when I was seven I had fun making up funny news headlines. She always supported me in my choices, and I will never be thankful enough to her.
After my graduation, I got an internship in a company. My boss was a record producer, but he was also the director of a music magazine. Later, I got a job in that magazine. My occupation was to interview young emerging talents, to give them a push into show business. If their talent was huge, Ryan - my boss - might have given them a contract, but he was slightly skeptical and no one looked good according to him. Except for some people. I knew Ryan's skepticism very well, I used to share it. Many young talents were afraid of their career turning into something much bigger than them, so they used to nip it all in the bud. It was bad to see them wasting an opportunity, but I wasn't the one who was supposed to understand their suffering.
I could barely understand people's feelings. I had become indifferent to everything. Even the hardest problem couldn't hurt me. All those years spent fighting changed me, making me become one of the most determined women on the Earth.
Everything started during a normal morning. It was a Tuesday, in April, and I had to go to work. I woke up, I had breakfast and I prepared myself to go out. Leaving my house, my cat Clyde meowed and I took a step back to fill his cup with more croquettes. I have been living by myself for one year, with my internship I could afford an apartment for rent a little closer to the downtown.
When I arrived at the building, I got out of the car and I met the last person I wanted to meet in the morning. Nicole Carter, as blonde as stupid, was a normal secretary. His main skill was to look good in other people's eyes. Fortunately, she was harmless. Sometimes she betrayed herself with her own words.
"Tracy Barkley!" She said happily, running towards me. The day couldn't start better. Every time I saw her running, I imagined how it could have been seeing her falling from those high heels she used to wear every day.
To be honest, all of my co-workers used to dress like her. I was the only one who didn't. Black was the main colour in my wardrobe, and not because I was a sort of emo kid or something, but just because I liked it. My clothes were all comfortable, I didn't have any suits or anything that could involve a pair of heels.
"Carter." I smiled. "What's the problem now?" I asked her, taking my backs from the backseats of my car.
She smirked. "Ryan told me to welcome everyone who enters the company." She settled her skirt. "I think it's like being a hostess, but I don't understand why, I'm just a simple secretary." Our boss was as fascinating as skeptical and Nicole was fully convinced that one day she would have managed to fall in his good graces.
I didn't hate Nicole, she didn't do anything bad to me to deserve my hatred. I just didn't love to spend my time with her. She was always cheering with everyone, she was annoying in the most absolute way and she had a noisy voice. She was also clingy. Working by her side meant wasting time, and I didn't like it. I used to sit in my office all the time until my shift's ending. I was determined, as I said before.
I lowered my sunglasses. "Oh, Carter, you're so nice, worrying about Ryan's advice." I said. "If I can be honest, I don't think it's a good idea doing this to get a promotion, and don't be silly, I know you want it." She lowered her head like a kid. "But you could warn the copy guy that he's really incompetent. The other day he poured Molly's coffee on my interviews and I had to call back the gothic singer dressed up like a punk nun." She nodded her head, going to the hall.
I shook my head, making my way to my office. Someone waved at me, but I didn't pay attention to it. I closed the door and I put my bag on the desk. I turned on my computer and while I was trying not to pay attention to Nicole and her co-workers' voices, someone knocked at the door. "Come in." I said, wearing my glasses.
My job was extraordinary, it opened me so many doors and I had so many contacts in the music industry. I knew producers, musicians and many people I used to interview could make their own way in the world. Being one of the most important roles of the whole company, I was always the one who was searched in every possible way, even for computer problems.
When I saw the door opening I lifted my head up and I saw another one of my co-workers, Rebecca. She was the main secretary, her job was in the reception and she was Nicole's boss. We agreed with each other on many things and she was so clever, but she couldn't stay out of my own business and I couldn't stand it. She wasn't annoying though.
She sat on one of the two armchairs in front of my desk and took a deep breath. "I know you hate being bothered while you're working, Theresa." She smiled.
That was my weakness, my real name. My real name was Theresa Gwen Barkley. My middle name was after my grandmother, who died a few months before my birth. My first name made me remember something about my past I'd rather not bring back, so I started making everyone call me Tracy. Even by my mother and my brother.
I smiled too, ironically. "I hate being called Theresa more, when everyone here knows that my name is Tracy." I brought my gaze back on the screen and she lowered her head. "Well, tell me everything, by the way." I opened my mail in the meanwhile.
She took four papers from her folder and she put them on my desk. "I just wanted to tell you Ryan gave me your next assignments, and I came here to tell you what they are." I nodded my head. "You have a new interview tomorrow, but it seems to be serious this time." She stopped. "I'm not saying your job isn't serious, but tomorrow's interview seems to be different from the others." She said.
Even though she seemed to be happy about it, every time I got a new assignment I was prepared for everything. Young talents didn't only break their career before it could be pushed in the world, but they were also bizarre people. I felt like a shrink sometimes.
"As long as it's not the usual folk or country band from Texas, the two guys I interviewed last month made me have nightmares." I huffed. "The guitar man gave me a rusty plectrum, telling me I was the most exciting girl he had ever seen." I looked at the papers.
Rebecca knew who I was dealing with. "I think tomorrow luck will be by your side, Tracy." She smiled. "I did some Google research." She said, lowering her voice. "They're already famous in Australia, they're just waiting for a push to move forward in the whole world." I was listening.
"By famous you mean they're extremely talented or they're always surrounded by crazy girls with hormonal problems?" I knew that kind of fan, they annoyed me. I still remember my first concert, I enjoyed it so much.
"They're always present." She stood up. "But I heard they're talented too. Maybe they're just at the beginning and they're shy and afraid, but you would intimidate Terminator too, so there's nothing to worry about." She smiled, making her way to the door, and I gave her my middle finger. "Oh, the name, remember the name. They're called Smashing Guitars." I wrote the name on the computer to remember it and I said goodbye to Rebecca who left my office.
I was always skeptical before an interview, I didn't know what to expect. I was ready for everything, by the way.