As the carriage bumps and shakes because of the stones on the road, I try to let my wander on everything that was going on.
Did I want this?
I doubted.
The real owner of this body might have but I doubt I wanted having the child, no, A child, especially when the father seems to be an arse.
That would be unfair to both me and him, you know.
Plus, I wasn't sure HOW I'd have him.
Through my behind?
Ah.... My body shudders in horror even as I think about it.
If this is really the past, or possibly another world entirely, would they have equipments to have CS?
Would it hurt?
Hell, what am I even thinking?
I don't want this baby!
I don't even want to be here for heaven's sake!
So.... So I'd tell him that and maybe... Maybe he'd let me go...
Then I'd have a talk with Tae Hyun.
Eomma said that Tae Hyun had been friends with me for as long as she could remember.
We were so inseperable that Tae Hyun began to have nightmares when he didn't sleep next to me.
At first, His Father, who is late now thought that he was just being his normal tantrum like self, but Tae Hyun kept running out of their house every night to stay next to me, and no matter how many beatings or scoldings he got, he kept coming until he was finally allowed to.
That then, I wasn't actually comfortable with the idea of him following me everywhere but I finally let him do whatever he wanted and made him happy.
The day we actually stopped talking was, according to Appa, the day I stated my need to marry Prince Sun Chan Yeol.
Out of nowhere.
That it not only shocked them, but they wondered how, where and why I would want the Prince all of a sudden.
But they didn't question it.
And when Chan Yeol even agreed to it.
They got more shocked, and still did not question it.
Yes, they also knew that Chan Yeol had no feelings for me and that even though I said I loved him, they never believe it.
They let it slide.
But Tae Hyun was always going to be family to them.
And that's why I needed to ask him what happened between us, though now it was dark and I wasn't sure how I'd get to him.
"Master. We're at the palace"
The carriage slides to a stop and I open the doors, the first thing that greets me is the wind and the moon....
Why does this keep feeling like this is something Hal abeoji had wanted?
Sighing, I walk into the palace, the gold and silver crests greeting me first as I walk down the quiet halls.
Where is his chamber anyway?
I'm not sure I know where or how...
"Master"
I turn around, meeting a small female face that immediately looks down as she says "Are you looking for his highness?"
I nod "Yes"
"Let me escort you there then"
As we walk, I notice she does not look up, even once and I say "Does your neck not hurt with you staying like that?"
"You said I should never raise my head around you"
I did?
Come to think of it....
Did I get poisoned by someone because I was with the Prince or because my attitude was something of a brat?
If it was the latter, I wouldn't be too surprised.
"I change my mind. Please don't break your neck for my sake"
She slowly looks up, but doesn't even look at me and I notice the red hue on her face, that I can tell she's blushing....
When we stop at a side, she says "Here Master"
"Thank you"
As I say that, she looks at me, her mouth aghast as if she has never heard me apologize before then bows quickly and moves away.
I sigh, noting that if I wanted to survive here and not get poisoned again, I had to find a way to make myself likable.
I go over the things that I wanted to say to Chan Yeol, reciting them endlessly, but when I open the door and see what's infront of me, all thoughts fly out the window and die instantly.
He's...
No.
There's a woman, blindfolded and gagged, hands tied to, on all fours while he....
While he was....
He suddenly turns around to meet me and at that same moment, bile seems to rise up my throat as I run out, my legs carrying my farther than I expected before I begin to vomit all over the floor, outside.
After a solid five minutes, I also notice that the maid must have done it on purpose for me to see, explains her sudden eagerness to vanish before I clutch my stomach.
How could he even....
Why does... Why does it feel like it's not the first time?
Why does it feel like he has done it before and will keep doing it?
And....
Why does it hurt so much?
Even after seeing this, I know for sure as hell that I am not keeping this baby.
Later, when I'm in my chamber, I stare at the ceiling, wondering how long it'd take to get rid of it before the door slides open and I quickly turn to my side, shutting my eyes close.
The door slides closes again and I hear his footsteps get closer as he says "We both know you aren't sleeping. Save me the trouble and sit up Min ho"
I don't budge.
"I see. Silent treatment hmm? Why should you be like this? I'm not the only one having fun you know. A little birdie told me you and Tae Hyun...."
"We didn't do anything!"
I'm now sitting up, my face red as I see the triumphant look on his face as he says "That's not what I heard"
My face boils up worse now and all I can feel...
Is just anger.
"Who's she?"
"Jealous, Kitten?"
"Who is she?"
His eyes suddenly becomes darker as he says "You're not in the position to demand questions Kim Min Ho"
Right...
Right, why do I even care?
I sigh, rubbing my temple "Sorry, I guess overthinking made me say that"
He seems to smile now, happy that I have possibly seen the error of my ways before I look at him and say "I want us to end this betrothal"
If someone punched him, I bet it would have been the same look on his face as he had right now "Do you hear yourself?"
"And I'm terminating this pregnancy"
He scoffs there "You're delirious"
"Serious more like it" I say as I fold my hands "It's obvious you don't want me here. So why should I bother?"
"Why should you...." He seems to pause as he now says "How badly did the poison affect you?"
"Enough to get me in my right senses" I say "Besides I'm not even attracted to Men"
"Now that's a lie right there Min ho"
He's now on the ground, leaning into me and all the bravery I'd been feeling earlier evaporated as he whispers into my ear "You might not be to Men, but you get wet for me"
My body tingles at that, my hair neck standing as he now let's his lips barely touch my skin, as they just brush the hairs on them slightly "See as you have goosebumps by just me breathing on you, imagine if I...."
"So what if I'm sexually attracted to you?" I manage to blurt out "That's just it right? I can find someone else to fix that"
He moves back, shock written all over his face "Why, you little"
His hand suddenly grabs my neck and I can barely breathe, my hands try to claw his off but his grip is strong and the hate in his eyes as he stares at me is way more powerful "Did you think I wanted this? You were the one who came to me, begged and cried that I should take you in, and in my infinite pity and mercy, I accepted you, and if that wasn't enough, you tricked me into having sex with you and then getting pregnant and you're having second thoughts?"
My mind cannot process those words as all I want is air...
I just...
I cough hard as he finally let's me go, throwing me to a corner as he stands up "I'm not one of those many men of yours that you'd hurt and mark as your puppets Kim Min ho, and I am definitely not Tae Hyun, bear that in mind"
My sight is blurry with tears as I rub my burning neck as he walks to my door, pauses and says "And yes, we ARE going to get married AND have my son, then after that, maybe I'd think of letting you go. Maybe. Have a good night sleep... Kitten"
And then with a slide of the door opening and shutting.
He was gone.