I don't sleep.
Not that I planned not to.
No, my eyes just refused to shut close.
Not with the way my tummy hurt and my heart kept beating in fear of Chan Yeol.
There was something about him that kept me on my feet, that kept me terrified...
That made me want to see if he really was human even.
And that part of me, just did not want to only see but FEEL and I wished I could slap myself out of it.
I should hate him.
Resent him even...
But instead, all my mind wants to go is give him a hug which is even more stupid than it should be.
The next day, when I wake up, I find a letter next to me, sealed and all.
By Tae Hyun.
He had written:
Hyung, I miss you, and I miss the colour of your skin that makes me want to lick it, and your peach like lips and....
I pause....
What is this even?
I fold the paper close again, shaking my head as I rub my temples with my thumb before raising the paper back up and forcing myself to read through.
Haha, did you stop reading? I bet you did. You always get uncomfortable when I tell you how much I'd like to mate with you.
Anyway, I wanted to personally apologize on my sudden disappearance the day before yesterday so would you meet at noon?
We'd walk around and play a bit just like we used to hmmm?
Saranghae Hyung.
- Long pe....
I stop reading there.
What exactly was he even apologizing for?
A part of me wanted to tell him that as much as what happened last time was.... Nice, the feeling of cheating, in my first relationship nonetheless even though I really couldn't defined it as that, did not really sit well with me.
But Tae Hyun was the only one who could give me answers that I could fully trust.
I think.
My tummy rumbles, and I immediately remember that there's actually something growing inside me, which...
Which....
Shrieking, i put my head on the mat, so the sound doesn't resonate too loudly before I go take my bath and then wearing another kimono, but with an extra fur coat later (my wardrobe is impeccable by the way) I walk to the kitchen.
Before I get in, the place is chatty and noisy, and everyone seems to be in a good mood...
Till I enter.
The voices stop, and everyone seems to be focusing on whatever they were doing with so much intensity that even I could tell they were terrified.
Absolutely terrified.
I walk to the Ahjumma that had been with me in the bath yesterday and say "Hello"
She bows immediately "Master"
"What are you cooking?"
As I ask this, I can tell that they are eyes piercing through my clothes to my skin, and if looks could kill, my body would be ridden with holes.
"Um..."
She says something I've never heard before and I just smile, asking her that I see it.
At first she stared, blankly before finally handing me a bowl of soup but I don't take a sip before I run outside and begin vomiting again.
Which is becoming too unnecessary.
If it's the baby, or morning sickness, or me just not understanding why the fish's head and eyes looked like it wanted to bite my lips, I have no idea.
But I already made up my mind.
I was going to cook the food myself.
Except... Except the people in the kitchen acted like the thought of it would likely be treason.
As I stated my term, they all suddenly went on their knees, head bowed as they say "If it's because of the fact you were poisoned, I apologize, we all do. We promise to be more careful, someone has already volunteered to taste it before we give it to you but we cannot let you be here, the prince... The prince would kill us"
And you possibly just want to put us in trouble.
She does not say the last part but I can hear the thought lingering on her lips.
I sigh, how exactly can I get them to not hate me?
Or fear me?
I can't... Convince everyone I suppose.
Oh wait....
"Ahjumma"
She looks up at me.
"There was this maid that helped me to Chan Yeol's room yesterday. Could you send her here?"
There is silence at first but they go look for her anyway.
When they bring her, she's visibly trembling and everyone seems to be worrying about what I can want with her.
But then, that's just between me and her.
"Everyone, leave"
They all scurry out.
When that happens, she's immediately on the floor, holding my coat, tears in her eyes as she says "I did not know he was going to be with another woman Master! I swear to the heavens, I didn't!"
"Ah, but you did"
Her eyes already look puffy, like she was crying before coming here that I bend down, smiling and using my thumb to wipe away the tears "Hey, I can forgive you though. I just need a favour"
"Anything"
"Help me cook"
At first, she starts stuttering saying a nobleman's child shouldn't even be here but I simply tell her the food doesn't sit well with my baby (no, I'm not getting used to the little furball inside me, you can't prove anything) and ask her to tell me where all the ingredients are, and I'd do the cooking.
After an hour or so, I'm seated on the floor, my bowl of fish soup on the table as I use my chopsticks to pick some flesh of fish and eat, my taste buds singing before I look up at her "Would you not eat?"
She quickly shakes her head "I'm fine Master"
"Hmmm, I order you to sit with me then"
Her eyes widen in fear but she eventually does it, not looking at me but this time I don't pressure her to talk to me and just eat in peace.
When I'm done, I ask her if she would like to be my personal maid and she nods but i doubt she did it with actual consention but in fear.
Later, I'm wearing my clothes and a veil over my face before I go outside and come face to face with a bulky like man.
He's dark skinned, with bright gold eyes and white hair, staring down at me with intensity that could make me fall "Hello Master"
"Wh.. what are you doing here?"
"The Prince has ordered me not to let you leave the palace"
"Excuse me"
I am not sure when anger really gets to me but I'm storming into his council room and snapping "You can't keep me here!"
He looks up at me, and I realise with utmost embarassment that they were old men seated at his sides.
I also realized that his face lit up when I walked in.
"Kim Min Ho. Never a boring moment with you I suppose"
I ignore the way his voice makes me want to kneel and kiss his feet "I want to see Tae Hyun"
"No"
No?
"What do you mean no?" I ask "He's my friend"
He sighs now, no yawns, and stares at me with a smirk on his face "I'm just trying to keep you safe my love. The world is a dangerous place. You can't trust anyone"
What the...
The bastard.
He's keeping me from leaving him!
"This won't stop me from leaving Chan Yeol. I can just jump outside the window and be done with it" I say.
And I had only been joking, but there's a worried look on his face that makes my heart pause before he sighs and says "Byul"
The guard behind me comes forward "Your highness"
"Take him to his room"
"Yes, your highness"
His hand is about to hold mine but I jerk away, sending one last glare to Chan Yeol "You'd get tired of having me sooner or later. Keeping me here shouldn't be worth the stress"
As I walk out of the council room, I hear him say "Let me be the judge of that"
Later, I'm wondering what exactly went through my head that made me talk like that infront of people, except that I'm also aware Chan Yeol makes me want to explode.
Sighing, I sit on the mat, staring at the ceiling, hoping Tae Hyun doesn't get mad at me before the window of my room slides open and a blond haired male pops out of it, a smile on his face "Ready for us to elope Hyung?"
For the first time since yesterday.
I smile.
"Most definitely yes"