I had no idea how long I had meditated for. Meditation has long been a part of my life. I sensed a presence drawing closer.
I didn't need to feel the warm aura of peace, happiness, and comfort sweep over me to know who it was. The Great Goddess of All has a velvety, soothing sounding voice not like any I have ever heard before.
Even now, her voice drips with comforting sweetness when she says "Aren't you going to greet me darling? I know that you know that I am here."
She also doesn't wait for a reply as I feel her grasp my hand. I open my eyes as she pulls me to my feet and continues, "We have places to go, and I have things to tell you."
I let in a swift intake of breath as I take in my surroundings. I try and block out the blinding beauty of the scenery and the heavenly aroma that appears to originate from such strange flowers.
"Where..?" I breathe in a whisper. But then shake my head suddenly. "What.."
"Sinead, dear." The Goddess says sweetly. "We are in a place you have never been, in a realm you do not know exists. But I rather like this specific spot, so there you go."
I smile at her and nod in the affirmative.
"Now, we shall take a little stroll as we walk, I think." She holds out her right arm and waits. I hurry to clutch her outstretched arm, and our arms linked, we proceed to walk.
I make sure to hold my head, so it is easy to see our feet in my peripheral vision. It is not that I fear to trip, the ground is fairly even. But I do worry about accidentally stepping on the voluminous and billowy skirts of the Goddess' dress.
"Things are going into place, as you know, all things in their own time." The Goddess starts. "Some things are inevitable, they can't be stopped, merely delayed." Here she looks at me with a knowing smile. My mind reels.
'Um, did I miss something?' I thought as I racked my brain trying to remember what this pertained to. 'Was this just a reference to the Cosmic plans?'
"Now, I know I told you before about where the ritual is to take place." The Goddess continued. "But I have changed my mind. I have found an even better spot."
I am sure I looked surprised.
"Oh, don't worry, darling." She reassured lovingly. "You won't need to know how to get there or how to get back. You won't even need to know what the place is called." She waved her hand dismissively. "I will guide you."
"Thank you." I said with a smile. She had led me to places so many times before, and it was reassuring to me when she did. Those times, I didn't have to worry about anything, just have faith.
Nothing bad ever happened, and any difficulty magically seemed to resolve itself. But I knew it wasn't magic, it was her.
"Now..." The Goddess suddenly interrupted herself. Her voice faded away into silence. As I looked at her, I got the feeling her eyes were not looking at something in the here and now.
More than a simple faraway look, she could see across time and space to anywhere that existed, or that had existed or would exist, that only she knew about the places beyond all that existed.
She looked very disapproving and disappointed. She shook her head.
"Nice try." She whispered so quietly I almost couldn't hear it.
In fact, I almost wasn't 100% sure I had heard her speak.
"Maybe it was the wind?" I wondered to myself.
After a few long moments, she turns to face me. "Now, we have to speak quickly, I've already had you away for an hour…"
'An hour?' I think. 'But I could have sworn only 20 minutes had passed.'
"That is because time works differently here, Sinead." The Goddess informs me, having clearly paid attention to my thoughts.
"Now tomorrow something important is occurring. There will be a portal from another realm. Strangers, searching for the High Priestess to The Great Goddess of All, will find their way to you. Anything that you do not already know how to answer, I will answer for you. You are brave, and kind. You will be fine."
The Goddess had looked me in the eyes when she said all this. Now, she let go of my forearms, which she had held onto while she spoke to me.
"Come now, we will go back the way we came and discuss that old book of yours on the way to the beginning."
So, for the remainder of the too short walk, we spoke of an old book of writings, penned by an earlier High Priestess, that told of life lessons, truths, and prophecies given to her by the Great Goddess.
It certainly gave more depth and some clarification to some things.
Back to the place we started from, she motioned me to sit. I dropped into a cross-legged sit, while she remained standing.
"Thank-you." I said to her, bowing from the waist, stretching my torso over my crossed legs, my forehead on the soft grass.
I felt lucky and very privileged that I got to talk to her every once in a while, let alone that we discussed or she told me bits of information she told no one else.
I felt her lift my face up with her hand. She smiled at me and said a bit sadly "Oh daughter, it is time you were back."
I closed my eyes, instinctually, hating the infinite blackness I knew I would see if my eyes were open. A sickening moment as I had the sensation of dropping into a freefall. Then, everything felt normal.
I felt my body sitting cross-legged, I felt the earth below me. I could hear the sounds of nature around me. I knew I was on Earth, back in my favourite clearing, without having to open my eyes.
The slight nausea I felt in the pit of my stomach was anxiety. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath in hoping to ease it.
My eyes fell on a large brownish grey wolf lying relatively close to me, facing me. I had almost forgotten all about the wolf. I could feel a sheepish grin on my face.
"Hi." I said quietly.
He got up from where he was and looked at me with eyes filled with concern.
"Could he sense my anxiety?" I wondered.
He covered half the distance between us before he got low to the ground and started an awkward belly crawl towards me.
"Oh, come on, stop that!" I complained, feeling this was painful enough for both of us.
"Listen, I don't plan to hurt you and I am sure if you wanted to rip my jugular out, you had enough opportunity already. Enough of that… that whatever it is you are doing, and just walk over here like a normal wolf."
He got up, walked over, and sat beside me. Then for several minutes, nothing happened.
"So" I began. "Where is the rest of the pack you belong to?"
I looked at his face. "You aren't a lone wolf, are you?" I am not sure why, but I got the feeling he was sad.
"Well, if you are a lone wolf, it's most likely because you freaked out everyone's brains with your strangeness." I teased softly. "Based on your size, I would have thought you would have fought someone to become alpha. At least if you are a lone wolf, you are lucky to be larger, few others will feel confident to take you on. It would keep you safer."
I looked at him again and gave him a half- smile. "You know what?" I asked him. "I will let you in on a little secret."
The wolf seemed to lean in closer to my bowed head.
"I don't exactly fit in with my kind either. But I never gave them the chance to reject me. Instead, I rejected myself. I just ran far away from them because I didn't feel like I belonged. Now I am here, creating my own band of belonging. Doesn't matter if you are an outcast, a misfit or a lone wolf, you can always start over with others who appreciate you for who you really are."
I sat in silence for a moment then said "You know I have two packs. One is all humanoids, the other is that fox over yonder. I don't know why he is so dedicated to being around me, but I am rather fond of him, so I don't mind at all."
I turned to the wolf. "You could be part of my pack if you wanted to. We could be friends, as long as you don't ever try to eat the fox." A huge grin broke out on my face, and I laughed.
The wolf got visibly excited. He licked my cheek. I wrapped my arms loosely around his shoulders and placed my forehead on his neck.
I felt relaxed, and I realized my anxiety was gone. I had the feeling of being perfectly safe. I looked up at the sky, and I saw the position of the sun.
"Oh, goodness!" I exclaimed. "What time is it?"
I let go of the wolf and scrabbled across the clearing for my bag. I found my cell phone and looked at the time. It was 10:00am. I still had things to do before the ritual. I had to get moving.
"Wolf," I called him. "I have to get going. I have some things I have to do."
He crossed the clearing in a few bounding leaps and stopped at my side. I reached out a hand, and paused for a moment, before I rubbed one of his ears.
"I hope I get to see you again." I smiled.
"All right, time to go." I yelled at the fox.
But the fox remained up the tree, yelling his head off, in screechy complaint. I already had my bag ready to go, so I walked over to the tree and said, "Are you coming, or what?"
The response was a fox launching his small body at me. After the initial surprise, I caught him easily in my arms and held him to my chest.
"You are so lucky I have good reflexes today!" I told him. "Plus, the patience to put up with your nonsense."
I walked back to where the wolf was. "Are we all ready?" I asked him. He nodded, and for a moment, I was confused.
"It must have been a trick of the light." I thought to myself.
We walked back in silence, until we reached the place the fox and I always parted ways. I set the fox down and said goodbye to him. Just to be sure, I wait on the path, and watch him darting through the forest until he is lost from sight.
Then I start back on my way. The wolf follows along, it is not until we reach the end of my makeshift track that opens on the road, that he stops. I say goodbye to him and begin the route back home.