As of now, both Susan and I were at my house. She insisted on visiting it as she feels too embarrassed to talk about it right in the open.
"So you want help with your boyfriend right?" I ask her.
Susan nods like a little chipmunk.
"And of all people out there, you ended up coming to me first?"
She nods again.
Normally when a close friend of yours gets a boyfriend or girlfriend, you would congratulate them, especially so if it was your childhood friend. But that isn't the case for me. I am stunned. Ever since childhood, I always had a crush on her. Her gemstone eyes, her cute bowtie and hair, she was the cutest girl I ever knew. When we were small, we did everything together. We were practically bound by glue.
Whether it was going out to play or having baths as kids, Susan was there with me. But at some point, things went awry. It was all my fault. For some reason, I developed an instinctual feeling of fear whenever I was near her. It was like a predator in front of their prey. It is really dumb in hindsight, a boy being afraid of a cute, lovable girl? What a joke. But because of that fear, I started putting a distance between each other. As time went on, I kept pushing her away. From being friends, we turned into acquaintances. I knew I loved her, but I still rejected that idea. God, I wish I could punch my old self.
Because of this, we slowly became strangers to each other. Soon, she had to leave the town. After that, I never saw her again. Well, that is until I got to meet her again in highschool. You won't believe how surprised I was when the most popular girl in our school turned out to be Susan. At first, I had some hopes of getting along and hitting off with her, but that hope had now led to despair. She already had a boyfriend, someone that I probably didn't even know about.
But I couldn't complain. It was entirely my fault and no one else's. Though no matter how heartbroken I felt, there isn't any way I still had a chance with her.
I heave a sigh, a long and sorrowful one. Turning back to the cute and excited girl in front of me, I am not sure how to react.
"Why me?" I ask with a tinge of sadness in my voice.
"I know Mike isn't like the other boys aiming for me. You always acted gentlemanly with me and took care of me. I know that you didn't have any feelings for me back then so I could trust you. Please, Mike. You're my only hope!"
Her words dug deeper into my wounds. It wasn't because I was acting gentlemanly; it was because I was a fucking coward.
"Can't you ask someone else? Like your friends or parents?"
"I thought of that, but there's no way that's possible. My friends would just laugh at me and create rumours. My parents won't understand either. I really don't think they would look down kindly upon me getting a boyfriend at this age. Please help me out here."
I squint my brows and look at her.
"I doubt your boyfriend would like having you be around some other man."
"I know he won't be pleased, but I am too afraid of doing something wrong. I surely don't plan to cheat on him, I like him more than anyone in the world. That's why you're the only one I can rely upon."
I felt a slight pain in my heart, but I also respect the genuineness in her words. Would she be like this too if I had been dating her?
"I need some time to think about this, let me get you some tea." I quickly got out of the room, I didn't know how much my heart could take any longer. Heading into the bathroom, I wash my face and prepared to get some tea. When I return I noticed Susan jerking her body and going back to her seated position.
Was she looking around my room? It isn't as if there is anything much to see. Most of my precious belongings were in a compartment of my cupboard which is locked.
"What were you doing?" I asked inquisitively.
"N-nothing" she tries to act innocent while quickly taking her cup of tea and downing it in one gulp. Wasn't that cup of tea steaming hot?
"Thanks for the tea."
"A-ah, you're welcome" It surprises me since she looks completely fine. Just how did she tolerate the heat?
I sit down and start having my share too. It is boiling hot. Clearing my mind, I ask her as calmly as possible.
"So you want me to go out on dates with you, basically?"
"Yes, just temporarily. Until I have enough experience that I don't disappoint my boyfriend."
What an envious bastard. Just how much luck did he have to get such a caring girlfriend?
"Mike, as my childhood friend, please help me out. I am begging you."
She clasps and hands and doesn't let go. I make a troubled expression. Watching Susan talk about her boyfriend so much just pains my heart, I don't think I can withstand it all the time. But seeing her beg like this just shows how desperate she is. I am her only hope.
Though I didn't want to, I relent to her pleas.
"Alright, I'll do it."
"Thank you Mike, I love you!" She exclaims before pulling me into her hug. Her floral scent tickles my nostrils.
"This kind of brings me back to the past," Susan says with a nostalgic smile.
"Yeah, it does," I replied, but this nostalgia is painful to bear for me.
"Well, Mike, I'll be under your care. Please treat me kindly," she says with a bright smile.
How I wish I could treasure it forever.