I remain standing when I heard Nao that he wanted me to be his partner and added another word " It's alright if you can't decide now, I'll wait even if it's taking longer" .
While he gripped his arms tightly around my body and I still can't say anything and kept hearing his fast heartbeat. Then I just politely express my honest feeling ."I'm sorry but let's meet up in the park, 4 pm, Thursday" .
He just nodded and smiled, he almost didn't want to release his embrace from me and whispered. "Since you came to my life, I feel like my gray life became colorful " .
I smiled when he said something sweet but before I leave, I only could rubbed his back and releases his embrace quickly.
"Thank you for the time, Nao but I have to go" .
I step forward and leave him. It seems like was nothing happen between us. Few minutes later, I still receiving a text from two people in my phone and decided to say the same date of meet up and the same place of the park where I can confess how I feel for them.
I was going home but then I noticed a vacant arcade where my ex and I used to play together.
Throwback~
I went to karate studio at 11 pm to visit my boyfriend Jen. Where I still have a half-sleep seen on my face. Since I work on a night schedule. I slowly slide the door, step forward, and looking at him, wearing a white Karate uniform and yellow belt. While the teenagers and children are also fixing themselves.
Jen is starting to walk forward in the middle, where you can notice him in the bright light, and practice his style of Karate. While, the others are kept sitting, talking to each other, like they are just here by only sharing their thoughts with neither of feeling frightened nor being prepared.
While ago, the karate Trainor with a bald head, and masculine figure has finally arrived in the studio. The students were starting to prepare the lines from short to tall and begins lower their head then shouted "Osu" to their Trainor.
Never heard about anything here but only the word they were shouting is "OSU". Since I was sitting here in the last chair beside the door and tinted walls.
While I was sitting here, I observe their style and where it was different from my Taekwondo Training. I was just sitting and move my hands as applause a little, and lift my hand side to side as showing how I grateful for having a Martial Artist Boyfriend. Sometimes, I couldn't help being jealous of the Karate girls here , which they having a beautiful figure and appearance. Unlike, I only have a simple and ordinary body appearance.
Right now, They're doing basic exercises such as jogging, push-ups, curl-ups, etc. before they start a training new lesson. A Trainor decided to partner his students into two members with 4 groups. "Jen, partner with Ms. Alice".
It reminds me of when Jen said about the orange belt is a higher rank than a yellow belt. Seemingly, Alice has a higher rank than Jen. Honestly, she is also pretty with smooth short bob haircut. I felt we are the same age but just how I see her appearance ,while Jen's age is 22years old.
"Alright, Since you have already partners and I'll giving you 10 minutes to train each other ,regarding what you learned Karate style last week"
They are beginning their training and Jen is also training his style by his own. Suddenly , Alice holding his fist and arms like she is correcting mistake, demanding his fist should be hard when punching and she also kicked his back knee to signify he should harden his position when it comes to fighting an opponent. Jen followed her instructions and apparently, Alice smiled and gripped her both hands by tapping twice slowly.
After 10 minutes of their training. A Trainor decided to beginning the exam of his students .If they understood what they have learned last week.
"Okay, Jen and Alice move forward, do your position like you were fighting an opponent" .
They started to move forward and set their position on Karate style , where the left hand is below the side of the waistline and the right hand doing a hard punch position. They start to punch where the left arms lift into the punch while the right hand placed below the waistline. Both of them starting the Karate punch style side by side, front , and back like they are both good as partners if they become. I only could watch them - doing a Karate while I expressing a poker face and a little bit of envy. Then I walk outside and goes to the comfort room, looking at myself in the mirror where I am not satisfied, having short purple hair, wearing a black varsity jacket.
Then I ended up retouching my face with my make-up kit to look refresh and look good in front of him.
I went back to Karate studio again while wearing a light makeup and flower scent of cologne. As I back to the studio, I breathe heavily and opened the door. "The result of the exam, Jen and Alice are passed"
I looked at both of them shaking their hands in gratitude.
"Today, our training is done, and next week , we will learning a new style of karate. Well, As for today, I congratulate the 4 groups who passed the exam and while others needed to be examined again. So our classes are done. You may go now and rest." Trainor said loudly and the students shouted " Osu ".
Jen quickly changed his uniform to casual and went outside while I still staying here inside and sitting, waiting for him to approach me. I follow him while he keeps walking a bit far from my place and went to the pizza hut.
" What would you like to eat? " he asked
"anything," I said.
"All you can say is anything, can you be more specific?" he muttered .
"Fine, calm down "
"Maybe, I'll choose their promo package pizza with spaghetti and drinks" As I calmly said and then quickly to sit at the place where the table nearest to the wall. While he still ordered for our food.
As he finished, he sat front of me and asked
"Did you see our Training, earlier? "
" Yes, actually I memorized the steps of karate style "
" really? "
" Yes! maybe I will show you after we eat "
Our food finally arrives while he seriously gazed at me .
" Is there something on my face? " I asked straightforward on him
" Nah, I was looking at how you wear" he keeps staring..
"why?"
"Your clothes are too old, maybe, I will buy you some new clothes"
"No need but I would not tolerate you to pay a lot of money on me" I refused .
"I want to" he insisted
"for what?"
"I don't want to show my girlfriend to look messy and clothes are old, I feel like I feel ashamed of myself"
"really? well I only could buy cheap clothes and products since I value more money for my family than my wants"
"didn't I tell you to leave your home and find another place to live?"
"No, I don't want to, since they are still my family"
We are starting to eat and he gives his unpleasant expression.
"I don't really like pizza with pineapple on top"
Then, he just only could put pepper and salt to the slice of pizza so, I also do the same he did .
"Does pizza with pepper and salt is tasty? It reminds me of my mom when you do that "
"yes, but I don't like pineapple"
"but it's tasty" as I chew pineapple with slices of pizza.
"I disagree" as he showing unpleasant expression when he thinking of pizza with pineapple.
"I used to eat a pizza with salt and pepper when I was high school, eating here alone, maybe you should try too," he cheerfully said
"okay fine" As I put pepper and salt to the piece of pizza and eat it slowly.
"damn, It's tasty" I felt the mixed expression of happiness and love when I eat a pizza with pepper and salt.
"Are you done eating?" he asked
"ahh, yes" when I looked at him, his face seems exhausted
"so, where are we going?" He asked while leaving..
"arcade?" I only said and added another word "I guess, this is the only place where we can play together."
while we both walking around, and he decided to go inside of department store to buy new clothes.
"what would you like to buy?"
"huh?" as I responded with confusion
"I said, what would you like to buy here?"
"don't buy me anything" as I refused his offer
"I will buy for you" " okay here it seems like you are good if you wear this weird girl t-shirt" while pointing a crop top sleeveless shirt.
"am I weird?" I asked seriously.
"You are weirder than me" as I said within my thoughts
"Yes, you are weird girl and the different girl I ever met since you are too quiet and cold while others are too talkative, sweet, and shining like a sun" he sarcastically said.
"I'm different from another girl, I used to be like this so.. I hope you better accept me" as I muttered
"can you wear this for me? then I will buy you black stockings"
"black stockings for what? as I asked
" I don't want to see your skinny thighs and legs so I prefer you wearing black stockings " he roasted while he wearing me a cat headband
" It looks good on you" he teased
"stop" as I put down a cat headband
We went to the fitting room, and I started to wear his preferred clothes for me ,such as black stockings and sleeveless crop top weird girl.
"Are you done?" as he slowly peeks on me.
"No, I wasn't" while I quickly closed the curtain of the fitting room.
and after a minutes, I slid the curtain and shows him directly .
"do I look good? as I felt embarrassed and looking at him indirectly.
He suddenly put his jacket on me .
" You might be cold but yeah it looks nice on you " he smiled
The salesladies looked at me and him, I felt like they were not looking at me but Jen, since he had masculine manly features which his blue polo shirt fits which can be seen his muscles and other than that, he had milky and glossy skin same as an actors.
While I was looking ordinary with the simple face.
I changed my clothes and went back to buying clothes and shoes.
"here, this is what I want, black crop top t-shirt designed bunny and pink converse shoes" I smiled and put my umbrella on his basket.
"why did you put an umbrella here? he asked
" Well, I can't go outside without an umbrella whenever is rainy or too bright. Umbrella is only I have to hold when you were too far but I also noticed that usually rainy here when we meet "
" so you are Umbrella girl, huh? " he chuckled
After we bought it, we went to the second floor where we can play arcade.
He enjoys playing his fighting game called Tekken while I keep fighting on him but ended up losing from game.
"buy more token" as he demanded on me
"We will never stop playing, if you can't win from me."
After several times of playing and being beaten by him and I finally won for the last play.
"Finally! I won" As I proudly said.
"one won for 10 fights HAHA " he roasted
"My future wife should be strong as the girl character here in Tekken" he sarcastically said
"I know, I can be a strong woman.. I promise.."
"are you sure?" He asked while smiling
"of course! " as I speak confidently
"If one day, you are still weak then I'll leave you"
"It's fine but least we ended up together . Although it's temporary and I was happy that I met you. I thought my dreams never came true" as I calmly said
I never thought the atmosphere of our conversation will change in a sudden.
"lovers short time, short time lovers" he twice-told said and pinch on my arms ,then he immediately walkway.
"Jen, what is your problem?" I asked while following him around on the second floor . It seems like he is avoiding me.
"So, we are just short time lovers huh? and you're just happy If I going to leave you." as he laughed with tears and say another word. "If you wish then I'll leave you right now."
I suddenly reached the lower side of his black jacket.
"I'm sorry" I apologized while still holding his jacket tightly.
"I don't want a short-time relationship" he muttered and lift his head down on metal rails, and staring down at the first floor like having a random thoughts.
" Don't you love me, do you? " he asked
" of course I love you but why do you say that? " I asked with confused face.
" Then why? You are allowing me to leave and I felt like you are not satisfied with our relationship. So it means that I'm better looking another woman to be my wife. " he expressed his anger tone.
" Fine. I'm sorry, Jen. I will never say it again. Please Jen. forgive me "while poking his cheeks twice.
" you are a weird girl " he roasted but still seen a bit mad.
He pointed his fingers on shake store as signify he is thirsty.
" buy me a shake so I can forgive you "
I sighed and hold his hand tightly and went forward to the girl who sells shake.
A woman politely asked "What would you like to order, ma'am?
" I prefer mango with strawberry, how about yours, Jen? "
" I prefer the best seller " he directly said.
Then, woman suggested me a mango with melon shake
" I'll pay for it " as I smiled giving my pay.
She gave me a cup of shake without lid. Then I only asked if we can have a lid.I carefully put the lid side by side but it seems not to fit on the cup.
"I thought you have worked on McDonald's but it seems like you are having a hard time on putting a lid on the cup. HAHA" he sarcastically said.
"The lid is the problem but not my fault, okay?" I muttered.
he just steal my cup and close it with a lid quickly.
"you are a weakling girl" he teased while giving me back my cup.
A woman started to smile and saying "It looks like you are both loved each other" .
"of course I loved him though, he keeps roasting me a lot. I accepted the way he is and I loved him" as I confidently said. Jen begin to pinch me twice on my waist, while he showing his embarrassing face. He hiding his smiles with left hand.
I only run as I could going to the vacant bench and sighed. He also sat and hold my hands. We both watch together to the crowd people inside the mall and seeing a blue sky, feeling the cold breeze from back and side. It seems like it's going to be evening.
"I have to go now and sleep early, for my work tomorrow."
"Can't you go home for a moment, Can you?. I don't want you to go home this early so please stay for a while" he said while he wrapped his arms with my arms and slowly lean his head to my shoulders " You know , Loki you are the only one I can share my thoughts since my mom is always working and I never had experience the love, and attention I want" .He simply sharing his cup of shake flavored mango with melon to me and I quickly sip.
" hey, it's Tasty " I felt the ice flavored shake mango melon on my tongue.He smiled and told his life story and his thoughts.
A few minutes has been passed. We both decided to leave the mall.
"I think we only have one year to meet up" as I said.
"what do you mean about one year? are you going to leave me for real?" he muttered
"No, calm down a bit, Jen "
"I just want to transfer a new University and focus on study"
"I won't allow you. Since I prefer to meet you every weekend or months"
"Don't worry I won't leave. I promise" I insisted
I was going to kiss his cheeks but I noticed, it's too crowd here and I decided to step forward on a place where fewer people only. Then I kissed him quick.
"Why don't you want to kiss me in public? are you ashamed of me as a boyfriend?"
"Fine. fine don't be mad" I sighed.
I walked forward to the public and kissed him twice and more on his cheeks. After that, I sit inside of the taxi, and he still was in a stoic position and showed his reddish face and smiling cheerfully.
"text me when you get home" he said.
"okay!" I shouted and waved my hands as a sign of leaving.