When they explained to me about the collision and that they didn't make it, I wanted to rip-off my ears and run out of the room but I knew I had to hear it. Now, how was I supposed to let fate decide their continuation?
If fate wanted me to lose the two person I ever truly loved, then I would be losing myself. I made a shuddering breath then it hit me. Sara and Hanie need me but I wasn't there for them. Pain. I felt guilt started to sink in.
"Don't you dare to feel guilty, Stefan." Minho snapped clearly understood the fear I am feeling. "This is harder for you, yes, it's hard for me and Hailey too. We watch your beautiful girl grew up; don't you think we don't feel the pain as well?" Minho's right. I nodded in reply.
Everything's hurt. I am emotionally and physically drained. I tried to speak but I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. They came out gibberish.
I just wept and stood up from my bed in frustration and made my way to the mortuary, with my brother and Minho leading me there, giving me a supportive patted on my back.
We make our way there and they left me right in front of the white colored door. I imagined it swallowing me whole as my stomach churned. It took me a minute to summon up my courage to enter the room. I took a deep breath, press the push button and the white divider slides open. I made my way inside as the slide door moving to closed back softly behind me.
My heart frozen as I took in the scent of the room. The air condition was running so, so cold, it was too silent.
"Daddy!" I imagine and heard that adorable voice in my mind. Shivers run down my spine as I looked at them longingly. I suddenly felt softened and I could slightly breathe.
Just the mere sight of them next to each other in separate stretcher, laying there so still as if, they are, asleep. I slowly walked towards it; each step felt like a piece of myself breaking.
Standing in between, I let out a muffled sob as I took in all what was happening. My head collapsed to my baby girl cold body. Tears came down continuously. I carefully lifted her up and laid her on my left arm to embrace her, my body still shaking. She's in my arms, but it hurts so much that she's unable to hug me back.
"My dearest angel, daddy promised to keep you safe and protect you for as long as I lived, but I have failed in my duty. Daddy is so sorry."
I caressed her cheek and gently laid her back. "Daddy will be missing you so much. You know, you are my bravest girl and your sickness doesn't change that. Daddy is proud of you, always. Now that you are with mama, be a good girl, mama will reward you with more candies, I'm sure."
Then I turned to Sara, the love of my life. I leaned down closer and whispered onto my lover delicate ear, my hands held both her cold cheeks.
"Hi, my love. I should let you know this but it's not too late, isn't it? You are the beat of my heart, the soul in my body, because without you I am nothing." I caressed her hair gently and lovingly. My fingers slowly slide to her closed eye lids wishing that they would open.
"Sara? Darling... Please."
I called out multiple times, only to be responded with deep silence and seconds that seemed like decades passed by. Frustrated, I smash my lips to her pale lips and my breath rushed out of my lungs. No movement of returning my kisses back. Fate got to be cruel.
"Sara, listen, I remember you told me you can't live without Hanie, that is why you took her along with you, am I right? I'm not mad darling, I'm not. Fate has its own decisions, and I can only let you know how I will deal with mine and perhaps we might see each other again."
His world shattered. His chest tightened, and he just couldn't breathe, because his body refused to function in a world without Sara's pure and genuine love.
"There is no world that I've seen where this has a happy ending between you and I. But I wanted you to know that there were worlds where we got to be happy, together.. I am glad that we got to meet in this world although it was short, I got the right version of you. So, wait for me. I'm coming. I love you."
Then a voice came from outside the door, his brother, Dylan. "Stefan, It's time. you need to get back to your room first. Come, I'll bring you back."
#
"Stefan, you should rest more, you're not fully recovered you know." Stefan just nodded as I lead him to his bed.
Stefan was a frail thing now. His skin was pale; as white as a bedsheet, his face looks sunken in. His eyes obviously shown all the pain he carried. When he laid down, he gripped my sleeves weakly with a plea in his eyes,
"Thank you. Thank you for being my life savior. You saved my daughter lives, you patch up my broken relationship with Sara and also you did bring my business back to normal." He spoke to me with his raspy voice.
"Thank you for everything, my brother. I appreciate so much. I have been lucky enough to have you as my brother. But, Dylan, can you leave me alone for a while, please?"
His voice sounding weak and fragile. I didn't say anything much. He needs time to be alone. Even sympathizing him wouldn't do any good. I bop his nose and he show me his charming smile.
Well, we are all hoping there is no complications of rejection of the donor heart, which is one of the most common where the immune system recognizes the transplanted heart as foreign and attacks it.
Rejection usually occurs in the days, weeks or months after the transplant, although it can sometimes happen years later. The team that attended to Stefan told us that immuno-suppressant medication can reduce the risk of this happening, but cannot always prevent it completely.
"I'll come back and wake you up once they're ready to bring back both Sara and Hanie to our place." My heart seriously aches, because when Stefan finally drifted off to sleep, I saw one tiny of tear sliding down his cheek, I left the room and walked my way down to the cafeteria.
#
Six months later.
Dylan gets panicked somedays, but it wasn't often that he cried. Not because he couldn't, but because he couldn't allow himself to. He couldn't allow himself to be weak. He had to be more than a human. Not just for his own protection, but for his family.
He felt the soft movement of his lover head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry, Dylan, did I startle you?" His girlfriend, Brittany said. He hummed as his hand roam around her waist and pull her to the front so he could embrace his lover closer.
"I don't like to leave you alone with yourself. I want to make sure you're alright." She softly said. A smile made its way to Dylan's lips, "Thank you for being by my side. I want to live my life the best I can. With death comes unexpectedly, we should realize live is short. I need to love you as long as I can because one day, I know I could lose you too. I want to protect you, you know this always, I love you more than you love me." He started; his voice almost breaking but he controlled.
#
"How long am I supposed to cry?" Hailey asked herself.
"Crying lasts until you stop crying," Minho replied. "It lasts until you don't have any more crying to do. I could hold your hand while you do it." He offered, shyly.
Feeling caught between tears and wonderment, Hailey stared at her hubby next to her. She swallowed heavily, before she could say anything, though, a bell sounded from the archway, calling the initiates in for the afternoon sun has risen. "I'll be glad to hold your hand too. I love you too, Minho."
"I love you more." Minho murmured and engulfing each other for a hug. Yes, Hailey and Minho, happily married now. Six months after and just barely a week ago. They went silent again, their mind in a whirl, thinking back, remembering. As the garden fell quiet, with only the songs of the treefrogs disturbing the peace.
"We are meant to be together.. Just like Stefan and Sara. They're bound to each other, even in alive and death." Minho mused softly.
#
Flashback to the day Stefan pleads to his brother to leave him alone by himself for a moment as he drifts to sleep. It's their last day of each other too. Dylan returned to the room just to welcome a bunch of teams of doctors with distress features on their faces.
They told him half an hour after he left, Stefan's heart stops beating. There are no changes even after defibrillator applies. It seems the heart transplant has failed causing it to rejecting the new heart.
His lifeline, his only brother, the only thing he has left to hold on to, he has to let go now. Stefan looks so peaceful, almost as if he's no longer suffering. He steps closer, and simply said,
"You two really belongs to each other, huh? Fate brings you together, fate separates you and back together again at last. Sara and Hanie need you as much as you need both of them."
He looks so colorless and when he collapses into his brother's embrace, and finally lets the pain show, the bottled-up emotions that he's been containing, he lets them pour out like a ferocious waterfall the moment he held Stefan's cold hands. "I hope you're much happier now with Sara and Hanie, my dear brother. Don't worry about me, I will be just fine. "
Sometimes you find love after you lost it. But what happens if their fate is twisted?
Well, the only explanation they have for love is fate and timing. Two people with their own stories and paths and lives intertwining in a matter of seconds. Destiny and desire.
Suddenly Sara and Stefan are no longer two separate people, two separate bodies. But have joined in that moment and become something more.
Finally, the two lovers and their precious first-born Hanie are together, forever. There's no fault in their fate. It probably just wasn't meant to be.
Death? it's a funny thing. Well, not exactly in the comical sense. Everyone dies, but for some reason no one is prepared for when it happens. Fate? it's a weird concept. It's not as easy as a certain straight path. Maybe we are given options, and choices. Maybe life is more like a flow chart, where our choices lead us to the path, we're on right now at this very moment. That's fate.
#
"Sara, I know you must be on cloud nine at the moment. You're complete now." Hailey promised herself she wouldn't cry, but sometimes, promises were broken. She tried to keep her feelings from rushing out, but it was no use. Hot tears rolled down her naked face. Sara had always loved how she didn't wear makeup as she's a natural beauty. The thought made her cry even more.
"Stefan, Hanie my adorable honey sweetie pie and my precious cheeky best friend, Sara, take care of each other, okay?" She placed a bouquet of tulips on the three different graves and express her prayers in her heart.
She then looked away from the headstone and up to the sky. Up to Heaven, though she could not say why. "I will always miss you and I suppose I just wanted you to know that. Goodbye, my friend." - She bids her farewell and rose to her feet, slowly walked her way to the gate to meetup with the others; Dylan, Brittany and Minho.
With pain in Dylan's voice, he let out a short speech, "We are all not alone." Sadness was coming through when his girlfriend Brittany, Minho and Hailey look up to him. "There were still things we needed to see and experience. We shall continue our lives, let's not dwell into sadness so much, alright?"
Tons of things have happened. Saying farewell isn't easy. While change is a part of life, partings can bring you to tears, but for the sake of the three precious souls, the couple and the married pair, they truly are, happy together now.
They have come to learn that there is a silver lining to every gray cloud. As a quote saying, 'Each broken relationship makes them stronger and wiser. They learn to deal with pain as well. Relationships that sustain despite the distance, continue to grow stronger over the years.'
"You'll stay with me, right? I am yours and you belongs to me." Sara asked.
"I will stay with you, until the very end of my life. I am yours, fatefully." Stefan kissed her.