My phone beeped at me the next morning as I woke up. Groggily, I checked my messages and soon perked up, smiling when I saw I had a text from Gabe. My heart leapt at the memory of what we did in his office and I found myself, instantly, with a semi-hard-on.
It had been a bold choice of mine to go to see him. He could have been busy or had some meetings coming up.
After getting dressed I happily tapped the message icon but my smile faded as soon as I read the message.
'I'm so sorry Nate, but we have to break up. I can't tell you why, and I can't help you understand. It's complicated. Just know that these last few months have been the best of my life and I will always treasure my memories of you. Goodbye!'
Of course, I instantly tried calling him but it went straight to voicemail. At first, I was going to go straight over to see him but I had a class. Instead, I tried calling him again as I made my way to work. Then again, during lunch and again after my last class.
It was now late afternoon and I knew he would be at the club getting things ready for the coming night. So, once I'd wrapped up a few last-minute teacher-student meetings I headed over.
Everything was dark and quiet, so I went around the back and banged on the door. Millie answered and smiled moving aside to let me in.
"Hey Nate," she smiled warmly. "Are you looking for Gabe?"
I nodded and looked around.
"Gabe isn't here," she told me. "He's taking some time off, something happened with his parents I think. They came to see him last night after you left. They didn't stay long and then a little after they left he called me in and told me to look after the place for a bit. It must be something big, he'd been drinking."
My shoulders slumped and I nodded before leaving. She waved me off but I couldn't manage a wave back. My limbs felt just as heavy as my heart did as I tried his phone again.
I went to his house and as expected, no answer. So, I decided to call Matt.
"Hey Nate, what's up?" he asked.
"Hey Matt, have you heard from Gabe?"
"Erm … not recently, why?" he asked.
"It's probably nothing, sorry for bothering you," I told him before hanging up.
I headed home and crawled into bed. Tears started to form in my eyes as I tried his phone one last time. This time when it went to voicemail I left a message.
"Gabriel …" a sob caught in my throat. "I don't understand what's happening. I thought we were happy, at least I was … please call me or answer my calls. Please!"
The beep signalled the end of the message and I dropped my phone before crying heavily into my pillow.
---
It's been three weeks and there's been no word from him. I tried calling a few more times during that first week and left more messages but nothing. Eventually, I stopped calling, taking the hint.
I was on autopilot as I went about my daily routine, barely registering my lessons or students. Once class was over I would usually head home, crawl under the covers and cry. By the second week, I was practically all cried out, but my heart still ached for him.
It was all I could do. Life became mundane and almost stale. I knew something was wrong with him, something must have happened to force him to back away. Something involving his parents most likely.
I believed him when he admitted his feelings for me. He's loved me for years and that doesn't just go away. I needed to see him, to make sure he was alright but I had no idea how to find him.
Currently, I was sitting at my desk at work, my students had all gone long ago and for the first time, I was reluctant to go home. A knock pulled me out of my misery.
Mia and Mattie stood at my door looking all concerned. I knew those looks all too well, especially from Mia, Mattie had only just started doing it.
"Hey Nate," she said with a soft voice. "Are you doing ok?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I told them.
We hadn't gotten around to telling them about us. Gabe wanted to but I was a bit reluctant. Not because I was ashamed or anything but because I wanted to keep it between us, just for a bit longer.
"Nate, come on. Do you really think I haven't noticed a change in you over the past few months? After you left us you've been happier than a kid in a candy store. Then all of a sudden your mood changed again, and you became distant and sad. A few of your students have noticed and asked me if you were ok."
I sighed and fell back against my chair. She patted my hand and I managed a weak smile.
"Honestly, no I'm not ok but I guess I will be, eventually," I told them vaguely.
"Nate, does this have anything to do with Gabe? He called me a few weeks ago and said that he would be away for a while and to keep an eye on you. He wouldn't say anything else, other than to tell you he was sorry," Matt told me.
I nodded and stood up collecting my coat and things.
"Nate?" Mia asked.
"I'll be ok Mia, I have to go," I told her before quickly leaving.
Mia could always see through me and if I stayed she would figure it out. I wouldn't be able to hold back the pain and tears I'd been keeping in for three weeks.
Not wanting to eat at home I decided to go to a takeaway. As I was waiting for my order I noticed a couple coming out of one of the restaurants across the road. At first, there wasn't anything noteworthy about them until a memory pulled at me.
I looked back at them and it clicked. They were Gabe's parents. I remembered meeting them a few times, once at our graduation, a few times at Gabe's birthday meals and during the opening of Gabe's club. Mia had dragged me to it.
My order was then delivered and without thinking I made my way outside, crossed the road and stopped them as they were heading towards their car.
"Mr and Mrs Lopez!" I called out and they stopped and turned.
"What do you want?" Mr Lopez asked.
I had the impression he knew exactly who I was. My hands shook a little as I steeled my nerves and looked him in the eyes. He wasn't as scary as my father when he was angry but he was close.
"My name is Nate Li, I'm a friend of Gabe's," I told them.
"We know who you are and we have nothing to say to you," he said sternly before turning to leave.
"That's ok because I do," I spoke confidently, belying the fear racing through me. "I love your son Mr Lopez and I know he loves me. Now I don't know what you have said to him to make him end it with me but I know you are the reason for it."
Mrs Lopez moved to stand by her husband as she placed a hand on his arm.
"We are just protecting our son," she told me.
"From what?" I asked incredulously. "What threat could I possibly pose to him?"
"We know the type of people he attracts," he said.
I couldn't help but laugh hysterically.
"You think I love him for his money? If that were true I would have pursued him years ago," I told them.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I've known about Gabe's money for years. We met in college remember and from the start, he was arrogant, egotistical and a huge showoff. He didn't hide his wealth and I could've cared less. It made me hate him. He was so fake I couldn't stand being around him," I told them honestly.
"My family weren't as wealthy as yours but we lived well enough. However, despite having all that money I lived in hell. Money couldn't help or save me so it never attracted me. So he never attracted me. Then one day, I needed help and he was right there for me. I was nasty to him but he was still concerned about me. He showed me that he was kind, caring and strong. I needed that, not money."
"What do you mean? Why did you need saving?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.
"It doesn't matter right now. Ask Gabe, and tell him I give my permission for him to tell you. I just wanted you to know that I love him and miss him. Please, tell him that."
With that, I turned to leave but Mrs Lopez stopped me.
"Wait!" she said before looking at her husband who walked away with a scowl. "Tell me something, if you hated him so much what made you change your mind?"
I sighed before taking a seat on a nearby bench. She followed and sat beside me.
"Well, during college he was a playboy. Different girl every week, splashing his cash about. I knew it was all a show but it gave me a bad impression of him. During the graduation trip, he'd given me a better image of him but not enough to warrant any feelings."
"Then a few months ago I got hurt, hurt bad enough I had to go to the hospital. The doctor wouldn't let me leave alone and he was the only one I could call at the time. He insisted on taking care of me. That first night he held me whilst I had a nightmare."
A tear fell down my cheek and to my surprise, she wiped it away gently.
"Anyway, the next morning, I ran away, too scared to accept his help. He hadn't known my history and I hadn't wanted him to find out at the time. Then I found out accidentally that he had feelings for me but I still couldn't accept them, I was afraid to. Again, I was mean to him and hurt him with my words. Then after learning things about him that I'd never known I decided to take a chance. I opened myself up to him and for the first time, someone saw me. Someone wanted to take care of me, love me and make me feel special."
I smiled as I remembered how attentive and sweet he had been during those months.
"What about your family? Do they accept that they have a gay son? What about your future? How can you both be truly happy?"
The penny dropped. That was the real reason why they broke us up. Their money was a secondary reason but the main one was that they were homophobic. They must believe that only a man and a woman can have a happy life together.
"My mother died when I was young and my father gives me his vile opinion of me every time I make the mistake of seeing him. He doesn't care about my future, he just likes to be cruel."
She nodded as if I had just confirmed something for her.
"Well then, can't you see that what we did was for the better of you both? You both need to find a nice young woman who can make you truly happy," she asked imploringly.
I stared at her wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
"Are you serious?" I asked. "Dating a woman doesn't guarantee a happy life. Neither does dating a man guarantee an unhappy one. My mother was never happy with my father, she stayed for me. The many girls Gabe dated over the years only wanted him for his money, would you have been happier to see him with one of them?"
I sighed and stood.
"Look, you need to understand one thing. There is nothing wrong with two men being in love. I love your son, my one regret is that I never got the chance to tell him before you broke us up."