I am Samuel. I am a boy. I must be a boy. I don't want to draw his ire. I wish.. I wish I could just.. Maybe if I run away? But how will I pay for food? Maybe I could call child protective services? What, as a 13 year old? They will laugh and then tell your parents… and then he will be even more mad… I'll be lucky if I can even walk or even speak if he found out about that. I pace in my small black box, I look through the windows and see myself staring at a wall. My "therapist" decided to let THEM into my one safe place. A whisper "Betrayal". They are throwing so many questions my way but, though I want to answer with a scream… I can't make my mouth move. I can't run, I can't move, all I can do is take the stares of disappointment and hate. Why couldn't I just be normal? Father unanimously decides therapy isn't helping me overcome my "anger issues" and I will never go back again… Good riddance. Part of me knows she had no choice as that they were my guardians… "What is so bad about living with us?" Mom says, "Why are you always so mad? What did we ever do to you? All we ever did was love you and you repay us by disrespecting us with your… choice to be... " she can't even finish her thought.
"Maybe they are right? I mean you are white. You are male. Your parents love you. Sure you are gay but atleast you aren't a tr*nny right? You heard what they said about that boy on tv… no she has a vagina so she is a girl… He is trying so hard though… why won't they just leave him be? What did he do to them?" All of these thoughts swirl in a slowly bubbling stew in my mind.
I wish I had been born a girl in the first place, or maybe that I just woke up as a girl and everyone was fine with it. "That would make you a disgusting tranny!" shut up "You'd still be a boy just lying to everyone about who you are" no I would be a girl like I should have been. "You should have never let yourself believe that!" But.. "no buts, it isn't true" but.. "I said.." the sweet release of darkness takes me.
Samantha enjoyed living in the academy, it was almost her 15th birthday and she had already had every youngest magician record beat by a mile. Even dim slim suave… ehem even Matthew had nearly every youngest record matched or beaten by a few days. Other students called them the "dynamic duo" anywhere she went, Matthew went. Over the years she barely broke down like that first day of class but everytime she did Matthew was there with a whisper and a tap on the shoulder. He was such a loyal pup. And his body wasn't bad either… Wait, what was that? "Ehem, I said, You look really dapper in your dress whites."
"Thanks Sammy you look really good in yours as well." Matthew with his dopey smile and still pinchable cheeks despite his firm abs and … oh uh yeah he really grew into his body well ehem. Lost in her train of thought she misses something Matt said.
"So anyway that is why I think we should date." A shit eating grin on his face, I missed the setup but I know he is teasing me… but …
"You are right, we have free time this weekend, come by at the crack of dawn and you better have something planned out!" I say with a shit eating grin of my own.
Matthew stuttered and puttered before finally calming down and saying "We are dating now so you better be ready for the day of your life!" he suddenly smiled extremely sweetly and while I am lost in his eyes he leans in and so do I. "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THE HALL AFTER THE BELL!?" That stupid fat bastard always ruins everything.
"Ehem, I was going to the nurse's office and Matthew was accompanying me in case I tripped and fell." I lie like it is the most natural thing, forgetting one crucial detail.
"Do you seriously think I will believe that? You two are the most knowledgeable people about medicine in this entire campus! If you are sick then Matthew,"he says the name like somehow his name is also a lie," Can fix it better than anyone. And if he can't, no one else here can!" At this point spittle is flying from this walrus,"So unless you intend to keep lying about WHY! I am going to write you both up for PT every weekend till you are both graduated!"
"Ehem shitforbrains," Matthew pipes up,"you won't remember a damn thing so there isn't really a good use for telling you this but you need to stop picking on my girlfriend!"
"THAT IS IT EXPULSION FOR YOU!" the tub of lard jiggled,"AND YOUR "GIRLFRIEND" IS A NOBLE WHO CAN'T EVER BE WITH YOUR FILTHY PEASANT ASS!"
Matthew spent the whole rant muttering something under his breath and when he finished the rotund teacher's whole face calmed down.
"What happened? Who are you two? Where is Louise? She said she would be back tonight. Do you two know where my wife is?"
"Shit too far back by far," muttered Matt… At this point Sam and Matt were only there for appearance's sake as they already were leaps and bounds above even the principal. Sam was almost with her Papa who was at high circle 6. Even he had not been stagnant as he was barely a 5th circle mage when Sam went away. In 9 short years, rising nearly two whole circles was unheard of. Especially at that level.
"What did you just cast?" Sam queried.
"Well I have been working on creating a spell that wipes the last few minutes permanently from someone's mind… but I might have just temporarily erased more…"
"Interesting concept, wanna go over it on our date?"