Samuel was a smart boy, only child though he considered some of his friends to be family even if he could never tell them so. Growing up Sam's father was usually at work. Which Sam liked just fine as that he didn't ever feel terribly close with him. Mom on the other hand he thought the world of even if she was nuttier than trailmix. Mom is… was. She was a torch in the darkest nights. She comforted Sam even when he felt like nothing was going to be ok. But she had her own demons. And one of the few things Sam despised about her was how she would always tell his father what he tried to tell her in confidence.
Sam told Mom he thought he might like boys and though their family was staunchly Christian, and not the lovey dovey nice kind, she didn't seem to be upset and in fact seemed pretty supporting. That is until the next day… or morning really.
*BANG BANG BANG* "GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! NO SON OF MINE IS GOING TO BE A DIRTY F*G!"
Sam jolted awake. As he always locks his door before going to bed, father couldn't wake Sam up by dragging him out of bed like he might have liked. Sam realized what had happened and in the span of ten seconds his whole life seemed to shatter. Mom couldn't be trusted. And as the door fell down from the beating on it, Samuel was stuck like a deer in the headlights. "Please let it just go away" Samuel started to retreat inside the little room in his head. The screaming could be heard but only like that of a soft whisper. And Sam's vision was resolutely on father's upper lip. Subconsciously following along with the "conversation" enough to pipe up with a yes sir or no sir every now and then. Eventually it got to the worst portion. The hardest to blot out. He was knelt down with his pants torn down as hot pain sluiced through his whole body from the belt in his father's hand. Everything fades away and melts away into just the black darkness.
"Milady! MILADY!" the voice of Abitha shrills, "YOU NEED TO GET UP YOUR FATHER WILL BE HERE IN AN HOUR AND YOU NEED TO BE PRESENTABLE!"
Abitha has always been a worry wart but this morning cold sweat breaks on my forehead like an early morning dew but soon I bolt awake as I realize father isn't at all like that man in my dreams and he is a lovely nobleman who dotes on his firstborn daughter like a mother hen. Papa is coming! I am still in my nightgown, what would Papa think! "Abby help me put on my purple formal dress, I want to give Papa a warm welcome"
At this point I am five and living at one of the family's more obscure manors with Abitha as my personal maid… although she seems to think that she is the whole manor's maid. Sometimes she can be a bit bossy but I know she means well. Her son Wilfred comes walking in with a bit of a wobble in his walk, maybe it is better to say he waddled in though he is not fat by any stretch of the imagination. "Mom why is Samantha still asleep but you dressed me all up and told me I can't play." an adorable frown on his face and a cute little dark blueish green suit with a collar up his neck and his frilly lace socks. He is the second cutest kid in this manor second only to me! My face turns red as I realize that I am in my nightgown still and this could be seen as improper!
"YOU PETULANT LITTLE BOY!" Abitha screams and poor little Will realizes his mistake and turns on a dime and runs out. "THIS ISN'T OVER YOUNG MAN!"
Abitha shuts and locks my door before helping me to get dressed. As my face went from cherry to tomato and then slowly to its natural white peach complexion I asked Abitha "Papa is coming, what do you think that means?"
"Likely, just that he got time off to see his favorite daughter and firstborn before she begins school."
Oh yeah. I get to go on a trip to school soon! I can't wait to meet all my new friends. An almost comically large smile rips across my face and try as I might to suppress it, I cannot, even a little bit. All my excitement for Papa coming is washed away by a tide of even more joy and a tinge of nervousness for my first day at school! I want to meet more boys and girls my own age that aren't … quite… so … uh.. du.. stu.. different as Wilhelm. Don't get me wrong, he can play tea party with the best of them. And there never was a more suave pirate that I ever did sail with. As for when we played army… lets just say he had to defer to general Samantha. He'd make a good dad someday… I mean in house… when we play house he will be a good dad.
I am broken out of my twisting thoughts by a firm booming voice "BARON KINCAID IS APPROACHING IS EVERYONE IN THEIR PLACES?!" Bo'uk or Bo is Papa's right hand man. He told me he was saved by Papa and owed him more than just his life. Bo's sturdy wide shoulders come around the corner in his black butler outfit. Long salt and pepper hair cascades down the back of his back as he double checks my room and says "You have five minutes to be at the gate to greet your father young miss, if he can't see your pearly whites from the next county he will jump out of the carriage and run here himself. We just replaced the gate last week. Samantha, I am begging you please head out right now."
As I am completely dressed, complete with comfy white open toe shoes and pristine white stockings, I begin running out to meet Papa right away. I dash through the house, down main hall stairs, burst through the front door, run along the cobbled pathway to the gravel road as I run I realize that it must have rained last night because my pristine white shoes and stockings are spattered with mud, though my favorite dress is free from any dirt. I finally get to the low cobblestone wall and large wrought iron gate. I can barely see over the cobblestone wall if I stand on my tippy toes so I can only look through the new gate. And there Papa is half hanging out of an open coach door looking for his little princess. From here I can make out the scar all along the right side of his forehead and into his hair giving a natural ravine in his short golden hair. I can't see his eyes yet but I know those emeralds can't possibly be looking anywhere else as he half jumps half tumbles out of the carriage while wearing a beautiful white military suit with the golden tassels and shoulders because he knows I like how pretty it makes him look. Now maybe by most people's standards my father is just one big ball of muscles and ugly. But to me he is a fluffy teddy bear who couldn't be more beautiful no matter what.
"SAMANTHA!" Papa yells as he runs down the gravel road leading up to the gate.
As he gets Larger and Larger I realize he isn't going to slow down and I can't open the gate as I am still too small… An idea pops into my head and I begin climbing the gate. Papa sees what is happening and rather than slow down he begins running faster and faster hoping to stop me from hurting myself. My dress rips a little on the way up but I get to the top of the gate just as Papa is nearing the gate he leaves the ground about a soccer field away… weird what is soccer. And with that thought I feel myself falling. Oh NO! Sorry Papa I wanted to greet you but it turned out like this. Papa's only daughter to remember his wife by is going to die trying to save a stupid fence… and as that was happening unbeknownst to Samantha her father somehow kicked off of the thin air in an effort to get to her faster.
I let the world fade to black, as that I don't want to remember splattering across the cobblestones. Next thing I know I wake up in hairy and firm but gentle arms. I open my eyes and see the gate I meant to save crumpled underneath Papa and he whispers to me "Sweet pea, promise me you won't ever do something so dangerous without thinking about it again."
"I pppprommissse," I barely sob out.
"Good, I love you."
" I love you too Papa!"