Five years ago
Yun Hospital.
''Ozge, what are you afraid of? Can you tell me what your greatest fear is?''
''My greatest fear? I… I don't really know but I guess it would be disappointing myself and getting to a state where I don't see the different between right and wrong. But sadly, I think I crossed that path a long time ago when I refused to testify. I valued my own life at the expense of justice. I am trying to pay for it by taking care of the family she left behind but the guilt keeps eating me up every day''
''Why didn't you tell the truth, then? Why did you act as if you could not remember anything when clearly you remember it so well?''
''I was afraid. They were people I didn't know. But now they are people I know very well. How am I going to live with it? Knowing well the truth but can't speak it out for fear of my life''
''Ozge, sometimes life present us with tough decisions to make and we need to lay on it once we make the bed''
''I can't bare to see him anymore. I can't bare to hold that child anymore. Anytime I step my feet into that house, I feel so burdened and the guilt makes me want to die''
''I understand, Ozge''
''No, you don't'' Ozge covered her face and sobbed in front of the Psychologist.
....
Present day….
''Ozge, would you perform the surgery for this old man to see? Even though I was here during the time you worked here, I was always out for a meeting when you are performing an important surgery. I would like to watch you perform one for me to see'' George Almendez said as he looked at Ozge's face.
Ozge's hands quivered and she clasped them behind her. She looked nervous and didn't dare to look up.
''Mummy…'' Amanda hugged Ozge's leg.
''Why is she keeping quiet?''
''Doesn't she have confidence?''
''Has her skills really rusted because she was in prison?''
A lot of whispering and murmuring could be heard amongst the doctors and nurses. Everyone's gaze was directed at Ozge.
''Grandpa, Dr. Ozge just joined the hospital recently. She still needs time to adopt''
''Aren't you the famous doctor who is deemed as the one with the hands of a deity?'' Old Suwait asked.
Ozge closed her eyes for a minute and opened them. She looked straight at George Almendez and said to him, ''I will do it''
''Ozge…'' Adams called and Leyla pulled him back.
''Let her handle it, Adams'' Leyla said.
''But she is not ready yet''
''You will do it?'' George Almendez asked Ozge.
''Yes, I will do it''
''Then, let's get ready and get this started'' Logan said.
''I will meet you in the operation room. Excuse me, I need to go and get ready'' Ozge said to them and walked away.
Demit watched her going and smirked. She knew what she was doing. Even before going to prison, she heard Ozge stopped performing operations because a trauma. Even though she didn't know what trauma it was, she hoped to find it through this operation.
No matter how Ozge tried to hide it, something will definitely show up and she was waiting for that.
….
Ozge opened her drawer and removed a card. It was an ID card that was used in the hospital. This was her old nametag which she used when she was in the Neurology department. Sadly, she couldn't use that tag again.
Ozge turned to the door when she heard it opening. She quickly stuffed the tag away and turned to face Ferit.
''Are you alright?''
''Mm, I am fine''
''No, let me rephrase that. Are you confident?''
''Of course… not. I am not confident but I am scared to let my name be dragged and marred because of someone else''
''Do you need my help?''
''Huh? What help?''
''This…'' Ferit held her hand and pulled her closer to himself. He hugged her tightly and spoke, ''I am giving you some of my energy. When you enter there, don't think about anything else and concentrated. If you have to think about anything, then think about me and Amanda''
''Do you think I will do a good job?''
''I have faith in your skills and I believe that, more than anybody, you want to save that patient's life. Since his life is in your hands, you need to do a good job'' Ferit kissed her forehead.
''Ozge….'' Logan's hands grabbed the knob hard and his gaze turned cold.
Ferit and Ozge turned to look at him. Ferit held Ozge's hand as he looked at Logan and asked, ''didn't Ozge say she will meet you in front of the Operation room?''
''I wanted to check on her first. Ozge, are you ready?''
''Yes'' Ozge picked her scrub cup and looked at Ferit before going out with Logan.
…..
''You didn't waste time to get together with him. Didn't you promise to stay away from him?'' Logan asked as they washed their hands inside the Surgery cloakroom.
''Which part of the surgery are you going to handle?'' Ozge asked.
''You are avoiding my question. Ozge, do you know the reason why everyone is interested in you today? Why can't you see through the act that Ferit is putting up? You clearly are still not ready to hold the knife…''
''You were the one who suggested we did the surgery together. You are the one who drew the attention to me. Logan, I beg you to be professional and let's get this done with'' Ozge left the cloakroom.
....
Surgery room 2.
Ozge entered the surgery room and a nurse helped her put on her surgery scrub apron and some gloves. While waiting for Logan, Ozge looked up and saw everyone at the top floor overlooking the surgery room. Her hands quivered and she closed her hands.
''Don't worry, just like before. We are going to do this together'' Logan said behind Ozge and she opened her eyes.
''I know it has been a while but just follow my lead. You handle the tumor; I handle the meningitis as like before''
''Alright'' Ozge took in a deep breath and stepped closer to the patient.
''This is my first time of watching a live surgery. Dr. Ozge is finally going to let her talent shine. I bet after this she will be transferred back to her old department'' Dr. Anderson said as he watched the surgery room curiously.
''Let's hope she doesn't mess up and put the name of the hospital to shame. Laws on Medical mistakes steaming from surgeries are quite harsh these days''
''My mum is the best. She will not make a mistake'' Amanda hit Demit's hand after speaking. She moved back to Ferit's side when Demit turned to look at her.
Seeing that there were a lot of people present, Demit didn't dare to retaliate or say something to hurt Amanda. Instead, she smiled saying, ''that's not what I mean, Amanda. You know your mother already has a criminal record…''
''Demit…'' Ferit called.
''She has a criminal record?'' Mr. Suwait asked.
''Right, I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a secret within the hospital. Grandpa, forget I said something'' Demit said and smirked, lowering her gaze.
''What do you mean, Demit?'' her grandfather asked again.
''Ozge didn't go to prison because of medical malpractice. Don't say things you know little about'' Ferit warned Demit.
''The surgery is starting!'' George Almendez spoke, making the place to turn silent.
Ferit looked at the surgery room and smiled when he saw Ozge starting already. She was always beautiful in his eyes but seeing her performing taking the lead in a surgery, he just found her even more alluring.
Demit looked at Ferit's face, following his gaze and landing on Ozge. She let out a sarcastic chuckle and shifted her gaze to a nurse who was standing just beside Ozge.
The nurse looked at Ozge. She was the one passing the tools Ozge needed to her. Ozge was focused on the patient, she constantly checked his heartbeat and pulse from the monitor as she operated on him. Even though her hands were shaken, she felt reassured because of the hug Ferit gave her. It was as if he was standing by her side.
''Scissors'' Ozge said when she located the tumor. She didn't hear a response and turned to look at the nurse. ''I said scissors'' she repeated again and the nurse picked a scalpel scissors for her. Ozge took it and was about to insert it when she saw what it was. She held the vessel connecting the tumor to the brain and asked the nurse, ''I asked for a scissors, not a scalpel scissors. I need a knife scissors''
''My apologies''
''You don't make mistakes in the surgery room and you don't apologize. Put the tools now and scram'' Ozge yelled at the nurse and she stepped back. She picked the tools bowl and her hands quivered. A knife fell from the bowl and went right towards the brain of the patient that had being opened. Everyone's gaze sharpened as they looked on at the blunder about to occur.