*At least he had someone that would pick him,* Lucas thought bitterly as he stood before a vending machine, wanting and not wanting to buy something. There a lot of beveraged to choose to: there are cans of black coffees, coffees with milk, tea, milk tea and orange juice. But despite of the choices lay at him, Lucas couldn't pick anything. He was thinking of that pitiful boy who had been picked up by someone who might be his father.
"Excuse me."
Lucas looked back and saw an old lady uncomfortably looking at him. She dropped her gaze before she looked up with a much less genuine smile, like something you would do when giving money to a beggar just to shooed them away.
"Are you not still done?" she asked.
Lucas gave way to her, "sorry," he said before he turned away and head outside the station. He passed on the glass door and immediately shivered in the chilly winds of afternoon. Everywhere he saw people, so many people and too many voices that he started feeling dizzy. Lucas looked around and walked with the suitcase in his hand as he tried to look for a place with much less crowd.
From the side of the road near a small bus station, he saw a bench in between two trees. But his hope was immediately turned into annoyance when he saw a thin shin of frozen ice on the wooden parts of the bench.
He sighed and decided to just stood there. Lucas didn't want to sit. But just being near a bench made him calm and able to think. He reached for his phone in his pocket and search for the contact information of his brother: Harris.
"Why isn't he picking his phone?" he mumbled as he aimlessly scroll from left to right of his phone.
It was after an hour when his brother called him back.
"Hello," Harris said from the other line.
"Hey, its me Lucas," he said nervously.
"Ow, you're here already?"
He nodded, "didn't mo-, didn't she tell you that I would arrived today?"
There was silence on the other side of the line and some screeching noises. His brother cursed. "Hey man, sorry I kind of forgot it."
Lucas covered the mic of his phone and cursed loudly. A child looked at him and pulled at the jacket of his mother. The woman glared at him, Lucas glared back. She mumbled under her breath before she dragged her kid away, desperate to distance her son to Lucas.
He sighed and said, "it's fine... so would you pick me up?"
"That's another issue, I'm in duty right now. And the key to the house was here," Harris said. Lucas heard the sound of jingling keys.
Lucas stayed silent and patiently waited.
"You could visit the downtown first, I'll pass by there on my way home and I'm going to pick you up," he said. "Would it be fine?"
*Do I have a choice,* he thought annoyingly.
"When would you be there?"
"Don't know, I might pick you up at five or six depends if the boss allows me an early out."
Lucas nodded, "okay."
"I'm sorry Lucas, I really am... Just buy there the things you wanted to eat. And I'll pay you after."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
Lucas was about to end the call when his brother added, "I'm looking forward to see you, Lucas."
Lucas stood there for a minute, contemplating what to make out of what his brother had just said. *Perhaps, it was just to show politeness and that those words bear no meaning at all,* he thought. But in the depths of his mind a hope flared, raging like fire—he hope that those words were the truth.
The beep of his phone pulled him back from reality. Lucas looked around as he tried to picked his way to the bus station.
According to what his brother said, this center is in the north side of the city, few kilometers away from his house. He leaned his head on the window of the bus and watched the building and structures that they passed on.
He concluded that it was a small city *with less things to see.*
Seated on his right, was a mother and child. He can't help but to feel irritated on the sound of the crying baby. Lucas looked at the child, the small boy caught his eyes and cried more loudly than before.
He sighed and tried to check more of the city. He figured out that they're heading closer to the downtown because of the sudden surge of a small traffic, shops are ligned on both sides. He saw a flimsy looking coffee shop on its way to its grave. A modern looking cakeshop and small clothes boutique with its pitiful sign and mannequins wearing a thick jacket that seems to be wearing by everyone in this city — a gray colored jacket with black sleeves and fur on its hood.
The downtown was something that Lucas often see from the place where he came from. To him it wasn't really much of a downtown. But a small mall with an open garden at the center. With several trees and artificial plants adorned with lights to make it look picturesque. In short, this downtown was trying so much and it looks pitiful.
He picked his suitase and decided first to enter inside as the rain started to fall. Lucas nodded as he felt the heat of the mall. *At least it has heater.* He closed his eyes and breathe on his gloves. He looked around. There aren't much people inside, the largest group that he saw was a group of four girls, giddily looking around for things . And Lucas find it perfect.
He walked around the mall, trying to eat things and avoiding places that has too many people on it. In the end, he find his self in a bookshop that sold pre-loved books. He love to read but reading while standing was something he wasn't used too, so he just stroll inside and tried to read each synopsis. He would remember them all and would try to download a pdf copy of it.
He move out of the store and felt refreshed after reading twenty synopsis of books. He walked towards a corner where a vending machine was place. As he was trying to picked his money in the pocket of his jacket, his pocket of cigarette and lighter came falling down. He sighed as he snatched it on the ground.
Lucas ordered his self a can of black coffee and settled on the nearest bench. He let his eyes wandered as he slolwy drink his coffee, all the time thinking what would be his life now, in this new place. Before, days are just like wind that passed on him and Lucas was a sickly tree swaying its branches in accordance to the wind.
He called it life, despite of what the others would say. And he was fine in that kind of living. He saw a group of three boys, the same as his age, fooling around as they passed on a small boutique with its sad-looking mannequin. Sometimes, Lucas wondered what woul life be, if he look more approachable. *And friendly, and less fighting, I guess.*
*At least I got one friend,* he consoled his self as he remembered Archer.
His phone suddenly rang. It was already five in the evening.
"Hello?" Lucas said.
"Where are you?"
Lucas looked around and describe the location of the place.
"Wait a second, dont try to walk... I would come for you."
Lucas waited until he saw a figure in black thick jacket with a cap that could be mistaken for a rug. Lucas wasn't even sure if it was cap or not. He stood and wave at him, but it seems that his brother already knew where he is. He looked up and the smile plastered on his face had brought him something that he couldn't fathom that time.
When his brother had reached him, he just stood there, surveying Lucas. He felt uncomfortable that he felt like looking down.
"You're way bigger now," he started. "The last time I saw you, you are just like this." He gesture to his waist. Lucas didn't know but he felt something unpleasant about that. He suddenly remembered the night his brother was kicked out of their house.
"Blond, suits you," Harris said.
"It is?"
His brother nodded.
"You changed too," Lucas replied, shyly. His brother nodded.
"Shall we go? This cold is already killing me," he said.
"I would like to leave also."
Lucas and his brother exits on the west gate of the mall because it was much more closer to the bus station. On the bus, Lucas had been able to observe his stepbrother more. He really meant it when he said that he changed. If he was right his brother was probably between twenty-seven or twenty-eight since Lucas was just seventeen. *But how could he look so old.*
Harris has the same eyes that his mother had, a brown one that almost look like orange on the light. There are sctatches and blotches on his face and cheeks and wrinkles on the corner of his eyes. He has also some extra skin under his eyes, that made him look very tired.
Hariss caught him staring, he smiled at him before he started pointing in the windows and describe all the shops that they passed on. But Lucas' mind was distant. Looking at his brother, he felt something inside him that made him annoyed. His brother was talking happily when Lucas spoke.
"I'm tired," he said, more curtly than what he intended.
"Of course you are," he nodded. He turned forward and look somewhere in the dark road that their bus are passing. There has been no exchanges of words between them from then on.
--
They arrived in his house some thirty minutes after they rode the bus near the downtown. It was already dark. The alley they were passing has only one functioning streetlight—with small insects hovered around the bulb. Above, there was no star to be seen but the thick reddish clouds thats covered the sky.
"That's where I live," his brother pointed cheerily in the apprtment. From where Lucas was, it looks decent. His brother lived on the second floor together with other four doors. There are lights coming from the windows of his neighbor. The apartment was situated in between other lot of apprtments that look more promising than what his brother have.
As they where walking towards his brother's house, the more nervous Lucas had become. To what he was nervous for, he didn't know.
The key clicked, the moment that he opened the door, Lucas had already have a bad feeling about it. He was already expecting it.
His mind came back on a distant memory of one summer, when Lucas had caught a glimpsed of what his brother room looks like. It was field with discarded clothes, the trash can near the wooden table was already filling up from the balls of paper and his desk were filled with books and pens, pencils and sharpees.
Looking at this place, it brought back the memory of that day. The young Lucas found it amazing but to the present Lucas this place looks sad. He saw a bag filled with can of beers and paper, lots of papers! In piles. Lucas looked around, unsure what would he do.
His brother looked back, "come on."
Then he looked around and scratched on his head, "I'm not much of a cleaner."
"I figured out that much."
"Would you like to eat first? Watch T.V.?"
He shook his head, "I need sleep?"
"You sure? I have Netflix..." he said proudly.
"I'm tired," he said and Lucas felt horrible about his self when he crushed that pride that his brother had.
*Why can't I just stay and pretend that I enjoy it. That man had already had enough, I don't have to be a much of an ass to him,* he told himself... but there just things that are harder to do for him.
And there's something inside him who's angry and annoyed and wanted to removed that smile on his brother's face.