Lucas Muller stood and opened the window in his room. It was much more darker outside, he wasn't used to it. In the city where he came from even if it's dark, he still could see the distant lights coming from the building surrounding their street—there's plenty of it like clusters of star in a clear night.
But on this city the lights are minimal, it was as if the universe was already on its deathbed.
He sighed and snatched his jacket from his bed. Outside, the hall is already dark and silent. But stil Lucas moved with stealthiness. Even the light on the small living room where the television stood was dark, he was about to open the door of the apartment when he heard the voice of his brother coming from the kitchen.
"Where are you going this late?" He said his voice sounded gruff.
"Outside, I can't sleep I need a walk," he reasoned out.
His brother looked at him before he tossed him a packet of cigarette.
Lucas looked at it ashamed of his self. "How?" he find his self asking.
"You stink," he said. "You thought I wouldn't noticed?"
Lucas suddenly had an urge to smeel his self.
"...just don't get lost, I'm not locking the door," Harris said before he pulled back on the kitchen.
Lucas closed the door and walked on the dark halls of the apartment. It was already ten p.m. in the evening and all the lights in the neighboring tenants are all dead. Lucas wondered if it was the way in the small cities. *Do they always sleep this early?*
He wandered on the streets aimlessly. Lucas didn't much know about this new environment of his. So he make sure to try to remember all sides of the street he was passing. He remarked it in his mind that there are five streetlights left of the apartment building, the fourth one is unfunctional. After reaching the fifth he would see the first crossing. He figured that when he winded left he would be able to reach the main road. While the right road on the intersection would lead to more houses, but it seems that part of the city was the old and poorer side. He decided to call on it as Poor Quarters. While the road in the middle led to more houses and small shops and groceries, he also saw a convenience store which Lucas find really helpful. He decided to call it Commercial Quartery
He passed on a stone bridge and shivered on the cold blowing wind. Below him the water was running fast and on the far horizon he saw a part of sky who's not covered by thick heavy clouds. Lucas sighed and leaned on the stone railing. He reached for his cigarette and lighted one.
When he was smoking and not thinking of anything, his mind always wandered on things both past and future. The things is, Lucas like to create imaginary situation inside his head, playing them on and on like a broken movie.
In this paricular situation, Lucas was thinking of his family back home. His mother and father, he wondered if they're happy that they finally rid him off. *Would they be fine now that they would only have to concern their selves with the twins?* Lucas thought bitterly. Two years after Lucas was adopted, his parents had gone successful on trying for pregnancy—it had brought them a twin brothers.
Lucas didn't know how the situation had come to this. The two had stopped to connect with him since they entered high school. The connection between the three of them vanished. Lucas didn't ntey to rekindled it, his demise and anger started that time. What prompted that anger he didn't know.
There were days that sometimes, Lucas blamed his self for everything that had happened in his life. He felt like that at some point he was the one who caused his own situation and current standing. He often replayey his life in his mind and tried to find the things that had led him to it. But the more he do it, like now, the more angry and confused he become.
*What prompted me to be indifferent in the world?*
Lucas sighed and flicked the cigarette onto the river. The pocket gave by his brother was still unopened, Lucas still have the cigarette that he had brought on the station before he rode the train that led him here. He was about to get another one when a sudden thought strike him. It was really futile, that was what he thought. Lucas suddenly felt a sudden attachment to the cigarette. It felt like the last thing he had that was closest to home, or at the very least the closest memento that he have of the place where he used to live. He thought that using them all would felt like he would literally cut all ties he have on that place.
There was just something about that thought. *Cutting ties, It felt like killing something that was part of you,* he thought as he slid the cigarette pack back on his pocket. He opened the one that his brother gave. He sighed, because this brand was something that Lucas found to be bitter.
By the time he had finished smoking he was already angry. He walked furthermore and explored the dead street. He stopped on a vending machine and bought a hot coffee. He checked the time; it was already one a.m. in the morning and Lucas doesn't even feel sleepy even a bit. He decided to check the city on the internet place, he wanted to go to places. Lucas wanted to wandered. The map told him, that some kilometers away from this street he would see a community park. He decided to check it out. Because after all parks are great place for relaxing and watching people.
It turned out that the park looked nice than the rest of the town. He saw wooden benches placed beside streelamps wotth yellow glow, some are even shaded with trees. He wondered what it would look like during morning, or when the day was at its peak. Lucas didn't explore more of the park, he just sat there, think and smoke some more as he let the time passed.
He was thinking of calling Archer to bothered the hell out of him after what he said. *Him as my weakness, well he might as well smashed me with a hammer since what he said hits home.* Despite how much he denied it, Lucas was also certain that Archer is an important person with him. He almost begged him to come here, so they could study in the same school.
Lucas remembered that when he announced to Archer that he was moving, his friend told him that he could live with him. His parents would allow him. Because Archer is a rich slacker.
Lucas had almost agreed to Archer's offer.
He decided that he would try to learned to cut Archer off to his life now that he have this new life with him. *That visit would be his last after that I'm not replying on him anymore.*
He reimagined what would happen on that whim of him. Many scenarios flew into his mind. Each more insane than the last. He had a scenario where Archer turned out to be a person who's obsessed with him and this ditching that Lucas had made him decided to kidnapped Lucas and put him under their basement. That was creepy as hell. And he could do it all throughout thw day. Thinking, imaging and wandering aimlessly to the possibilities that life could offer.
By the time he was tired of creating scenarios it was already 4:30 in the morning. He crossed his legs and leaned back to stretched his sore shoulders. He opened his phone and checked on the map to try find something where he could eat.
Some meters away from here he saw that there is a barbecue shop that sold breakfast even at morning. Lucas stood and picked his way towards the place.