I woke up wrapped in soft sheets on an empty bed. As hard as it was to get up and prepare for work, I knew deep down that my bills wouldn't allow me to spend another minute lying down. My body felt heavy and restless, so I had to desperately pull it up with all the strength and motivation I could muster from the universe. Kind of like Son Goku doing his thing with the Spirit Bomb, but instead of saving the world, I'm doing it to save my career.
As much as I wanted to start my morning routine, something within me (or hanging below me) wanted to sit in silence to reminisce about the dream I had earlier. Everything just felt so real. I spread my hands open and looked at them as I tried to remember how it felt holding Zef's slender body. I could faintly recall the feeling of her skin colliding with mine as she moved her waist to and fro, deeper and deeper as our bodies intertwined.
My body began twitching from excitement at the thought. I closed my eyes, trying to picture Zef in a state of undress. Moving on its own as if possessed, my right hand took its talents to South Beach. The strokes started slowly, like small waves kissing the shore on a tranquil day. I could feel the excitement building up. My imagination started to run wild, putting together the image of her supple bosoms. Just as I was about to floor it, I felt a pillow hit the side of my head.
A familiar tone asked "You okay, babe?"
Zef was peeking from the corner of the bed, horror-stricken.
When our eyes met, a part of me burst.
In my hand.
On the bed sheet.
Almost on her face.
If only it were three inches longer.
I quickly pulled my hand away from the yogurt gun and hid my face under the pillow.
"What the hell are you doing here, Zef?" I asked, burning in shame. Remembering it was still hanging free, I haphazardly put back the pork sword inside my shorts.
"What do you mean? You've been asking that since last night. You brought me here after our dinner date", she replied with evident confusion in her tone.
Last night? Date? As far as I remember, I went home alone, single. Besides, if we had a date last night, wasn't I supposed to remember it?
"You're not making any sense. How did you even know I lived here?"
I felt Zef climb up the stairs to my bed, planting her fine ass near my head. I've thought of licking that spot later, but there were far more important concerns at the moment.
"Babe, we've been dating for a while. I've been in your place and on this bed more times than I can count", she answered.
How in the world was that possible? I could've sworn I came home to an empty apartment almost every other night unless my best friend or father comes to visit. I'm also quite sure I slept on the bed alone. Even my sleep paralysis demons never bothered sleeping beside me.
Taking the pillow off my face, Zef looked me in the eyes and smiled. That smile was the prettiest thing I've received my whole life. Nothing at the moment made sense, but her smile did.
"You've been acting weird since yesterday in the office. Did you hit your head or something?"
I ran my hand over my head to check for any damage. It certainly seemed intact, just a bit sticky for some reason —oh my god I forgot to wipe it off my hand.
"I think I'm okay. I just need to gather my thoughts for a moment", I replied ambivalently.
I'm no genius or anything, but I figured something was definitely wrong at the time. I wish it were something as believable as an intricate prank or reality show because that would have been much easier to believe. What on earth was happening?
Zef checked the phone to look at the time. She grimaced then let out a long sigh.
"Let's discuss this later, babe. I need to prepare for work. The Design Team will hold a meeting at 9, and I still have lots of pending work."
Like it's the most natural thing to do. Zef gave me a kiss on the forehead and went down the stairs. I followed her with my eyes as she opened my closet and grabbed a towel, then went inside the bathroom.
Damn. How did she know where the towels were? Things got weirder by the second. Was she actually telling the truth?
I checked the date and time on the phone to confirm if I'm in the right period. My phone screen displayed May 13, 2015, 6:22 AM. It didn't convince me enough so I went to Google and searched for ways to check if it was possible to wake up to a different life after forgetting to brush your teeth last night. Results suggested WebMD and medications for schizophrenia, so I gave up for the time being.
Thinking too much had caused my stomach to growl. The pangs struck like lightning that split a tree in half. Come to think about it, I crawled into bed without having dinner then, apparently, tickled Zef's tummy from the inside, so it's reasonable for me to feel that kind of hunger. Releasing a million potential babies into the wild really does a number on you.
My unit didn't have a kitchen, so I always ate out. There's a convenience store at the ground floor where most of my sustenance comes from, but there were also lots of eateries that offered home-cooked food. Those places were always full of people during lunch time, so I tend to avoid them. When I feel like taking the trash out, I would order food to-go and eat it at my place.
I was about to step out the door when I remembered I had a visitor. I knocked three times at the bathroom door before asking Zef if she wanted anything.
"Hey, I'm going out for breakfast. Do you want anything?"
"No, thanks. I'll eat in the office", she responded, her voice muffled by the sound of running water.
I left the room and strolled to the elevators. There were two for each floor. With the car still traveling from the third floor, I had a moment to think about what was going on. How in the world did I end up dating Zef? Does whatchamacallit only apply to me? Her? Both of us? Can I time travel? Can I cross between parallel worlds? Can I shoot laser beams from my eyes? Will I be protecting Earth from a superpowered alien who wants to eliminate half of life in the universe?
I had so many questions, but I couldn't come up with a logical answer for any of them. Maybe whatever this was defied logic? Did my erratic coding somehow cause this? Or maybe I'm the protagonist in a terribly written anime plot? What made me so special that I was put in a situation like this?
Every time I used a portion of my brain cells, however, my stomach growled even louder.
Not realizing so much time has passed, the elevator's beeping sound caught me off guard. The doors opened to an empty car —plenty of space for me and my thoughts, I reckoned.
I stood there, thinking of ways to find out the conundrum I was in. My hand subconsciously reached for my wallet but found nothing. I tapped both pockets and discovered I brought nothing but my keys. To rub salt in the wound, I even forgot to press the elevator button.
Shaking my head in disbelief, I pressed the open button and walked defeatedly back to my room. I put the key in the keyhole, twisted it to the left, and pushed the door open. I grabbed my wallet on top of the desk and trudged to the door.
Upon passing the bathroom, I noticed the lights were off. After knocking three times and getting no answer, I tenderly pushed the door open and found no one. Zef just disappeared into thin air.
"Here we go again."