The beach that Zef wanted to visit was a hidden gem, all right. Sitting comfortably within a gated community, the topography to get there was quite challenging. Amid the infinitely green grassy fields was a muddy road that stretched onwards to the beach. It was simply a path formed by tire tracks of countless vehicles that constantly went back and forth over the years.
Our whole ride was a very shaky experience thanks to the government wanting to preserve the 'naturalness' of the environment there. Why they still asked us for an environmental fee despite not having any developments is beyond me.
"Kuya* texted me, saying he's waiting for us at the gate", said Zef.
I continued to drive straight, cursing internally at every bump, until I found a lanky, middle-aged man standing on the side of the road. Behind him was a neon green fence covering at least a hectare of land filled with grass and a small house.
"Is that him?"
"Wait. Let me text. Don't just open doors for strangers!" she shrieked.
As much as I'd like to get things over with, there was no way I was opening the door for anyone in the middle of such a sketchy place.
"It's him! It's him!"
I rolled the windows down on the passenger side and was greeted by a gruff voice in a heavy Southern Luzon accent.
"Good evening, ma'am and sir. I am Pedro, the caretaker of this beach."
"Hi Kuya. Where can we park?" I asked.
"Please enter the gate, sir. You can park in front of our house."
Pedro jogged to the opposite side of the fence, waving his hand as if to say I should follow him. Pointing to the space beside an old motorcycle, he instructed me to park in that area. He then made his way to the small house in front, announcing the arrival of their guests.
As Zef and I went down the vehicle to collect our stuff from the back seats, the light at the porch of the small house turned on. The door opened to an old woman with silver hair, smiling and waving at us. Two kids appeared at her back, peering behind her waist.
"Good evening po**", we greeted in unison.
The old lady greeted us and went back. I couldn't see the entire inside of the house from where I stood, but she appeared to have been sitting in a rocking chair near the door as she was walking that way.
"Let me show you the cabin and let's get you settled", said Pedro in a warm, comforting tone.
Our cabin was just a few steps across the caretaker's house. Made from bamboo and other types of wood, it appears to have been born out of a beach bum's dream. The cabin was strategically located between the grassy parking area and the pristine white sand of the beach. For a 280-square-foot home away from home, it packs everything you need —a kitchenette, a living area, a bathroom, and a private bedroom.
Entering the bedroom was the best chance to rest my weary legs. I jumped straight onto the bed, landing face down while Zef reached for the air conditioner to turn it on.
"Don't put your shopping bags in the bed!"
Out of energy to say or do anything that required a lot of movement, I swept the bags with my arms to let them fall freely to the floor.
Zef sighed at my laziness but she understood how tired I was from driving all the way without stopping. We didn't even get the chance to eat or go to the bathroom along the way.
Just as I was about to doze off, we heard three loud knocks at the door. Pedro peered from outside, smiling from ear to ear.
"Have you had dinner yet, ma'am? Sir?"
My stomach growled at the question. Controlling my hunger was the easiest thing to do for me when a task is at hand, but my body automatically reacts when the subject is brought up. And when I'm aware of my hunger, I cannot think of anything but food. I cannot even decline anything that is related to food.
"No. Not yet." I answered.
"You're in luck. There's a feast tomorrow, and my wife always prepares food the night before. Would you like some? We have pancit and shanghai."
My restless body was suddenly filled with life. Hunger had a way of robbing both my body and spirit, but just the thought of food was enough to keep the two going again for a brief moment, at least.
"Please wait for a moment. I'll get it for you", said Pedro cheerily.
See, that's what I liked about feasts in provinces. They don't care where you're from as long as you enjoy their food. Those who grew up in the countryside are the most hospitable people I know.
Zef had finished unpacking during my conversation with Pedro. Our clothes were already inside the wall cabinets and the bathroom paraphernalia were where they were supposed to be by the time I thought about offering my help.
"Were you that hungry? You said yes without hesitation", she sneered.
"I didn't really get to eat anything during lunch."
Zef shot me a puzzled look. It then dawned on me that this was parallel universe Zef. She probably had lunch with her boyfriend, unlike me. Although I did get to have lunch with a beautiful girl in Marie.
"See, this is why you keep gaining weight. You eat everything I pack for you during lunch and have me buy snacks before going home", she said concerningly.
Daaamn. My boy can have his cake and eat it, too. What a life he's living. I would give anything to have homemade lunch.
"Sorry, Zef. I'll watch what I eat next time."
Oh no we ain't. The only time I'm going to watch what I eat is when I see the meat get cooked myself.
Still lying on my chest, Zef gingerly laid her back on the space beside me. We were lying face to face, looking squarely into each other's eyes. I couldn't help but smile at the warmness of those hazelnut eyes and get lost in them. I wanted to know her better —the things that made her tick, her quirks, and every little thing that made her who she was. I wanted to know if I, in any universe, was deserving of the love that she gave out.
"Thank you", she beamed.
"For what?"
"For taking me here."
"All I did was dri—"
Zef cut me off by placing her index finger between my lips, shushing at me playfully. I responded by pointing my lips as if kissing her finger.
"Ehem. Are you lovebirds ready to eat?"
Our eyes darted off to the door where Kuya Pedro stood, holding a plate full of pancit and Lumpiang Shanghai. He handed the plate to Zef, who stood up in a hurry, before leaving the cottage.
"It's good to be young and in love!"
Zef stood frozen at the door, blushing and embarrassed. Seeing her in an awkward state was too much for my heart. How adorable.
"Let's eat that here."
"I don't want crumbs where I sleep", she said defiantly, shaking her head.
Knowing she's boss, I gathered all the strength to stand up and followed her to the kitchenette where a table was set up. She placed the plate between us and took two saucers from the dishrack on the sink.
"What do you want to do after dinner?" I asked.
"Aren't you tired?"
"Just let me rest a bit, then let's take a walk along the shore", I proposed, before shoving a spoonful of pancit into my mouth.
"Sounds good."
We both ate our fill but, as expected, I ended up being the one who had to eat everything. Zef's appetite was nowhere near as large as Marie's, and she was a slow eater. I read somewhere that slow eaters burn more calories, probably because it takes them a year to chew their food.
I wanted to do the dishes but Zef told me she'd do them tomorrow. It was also getting late, so she wanted to take a walk at that moment.
The seashore seemed infinite in the black of the night. As we walked barefoot in the sand, Zef's eyes moved from the starry skies to the ever-warm sea. When her feet became dusted with sand, like how sugar was sprinkled into bread, she would dip them in the sea and smile as the warm water and cool breeze hit her body at the same time.
"I missed the sea," she giggled.
We didn't walk far from our cabin. Also, the hut I saw from the photo earlier was just on the other side of the property. Seeing that day was a weekend, it was surprising that there was not a soul in sight. Maybe we were the first ones there? Did Zef rent the whole place to ourselves? Does she own this place?
"We're the only ones here", I mumbled.
"Yes. I was told they're still planning to develop the area, but would like to start accepting visitors who could appreciate the simple life here."
"The simple life, huh?"
Zef gracefully sat on the beach, placing her feet near the water. She seemed to love letting the small waves creep up to her toes like the ocean was tucking them in.
"Yes. Didn't I tell you I lived by the sea? I sort of miss that life. Beautiful views, feeling the sun in my skin, a refreshing swim in the afternoon, and eating freshly-caught fish. That kind of life."
"We could do that here. We basically have the place to ourselves."
Zef thought about it for a second. Her eyes wandered between me and the sea, looking relatively unimpressed. Maybe she didn't think I'd do well in such a life. I grew up in the city after all.
"Kuya told me there won't be any guests until tomorrow afternoon."
"Does that mean we could do anything we want?"
"Nothing lewd", she reiterated.
We spent the next minutes in total silence, basking in the velvet darkness of the night. Zef looked up to the stars, tracing shapes and patterns she'd learn at a planetarium when she was younger. I could see her lips form the semblance of a smile, a sign that she was enjoying herself. Only the rhythmic sound of waves could be heard, playing on repeat like a song that kept being requested on the radio.
I dragged my body to her, sitting closer so she could feel my presence. I wanted her to be in solitude but not alone. I wanted to let her know that I was happy and satisfied just being with her.
"Hey, babe", she called.
I still haven't gotten used to Zef calling me that, but beneath that pet name was a kind of affection that made you feel warm inside, and it was always followed by the gentle gaze of her eyes.
"What is it?"
"I feel like I haven't thanked you enough for saving me."
"Saving you?"
"I was really in a dark place by the time we met."
This was it. This was my assignment as told by Marie. I had to find out about this world and how my relationship with Zef began. I must know why our lives in my world didn't turn out this way.
"What did I do exactly?" I asked, acting all innocent. Because I really was. I honestly wanted a few tips from the other me.
"You really don't know?" she giggled.
"Well, I'm not really good with people. I just do what I feel is right or appropriate for the situation even when it's socially frowned upon."
Zef gave me a hug after hearing my short speech. She held me tight, feeling every part of me press into every part of her. I felt the world stand still on its axis. I couldn't hear the sounds of the waves or feel the coldness of the wind. All I felt was how soft and warm she was.
"It all began on the company summer trip", she started off, releasing me from her embrace.
Wait a minute. I didn't go on that trip if I remember it correctly. Seeing how I was fairly new to the workplace and didn't know anyone, I didn't want to be alone or, worse, be the center of attention.
"Don't you remember how we were left alone at the dinner table when the others went to take a night swim? You were so awkward back then. You tried so hard to strike a conversation and keep it going even though I kept giving one word replies."
That's not something I would do, I thought. I feel like I would've just stared at my phone and pretend I'm part of the leftover food until she left the table.
"Then you kept asking me why I was so quiet and that you weren't used to someone being quieter than you, so I got pissed and told you how I was cheated on. How I felt betrayed beyond words and how everything didn't make sense…" she continued.
"You probably didn't intend to do that, huh?"
"I don't know. You have something in the way you talk —a kind of sincerity to seek information. You didn't seem like the type to give advice right away. It's like you want to listen first and ask whether I needed a solution or just someone to listen to, which I think I needed. Maybe I kept feeling bad about myself because everyone kept reminding me that I was the girl who got cheated on."
"Then? What did I do next?"
"You seriously don't know?" she squeaked.
"Then you somehow managed to get my number, telling me I can talk to you anytime. You answered my panicked texts in the middle of the night, sat in silence with me whenever I felt upset, and never gave up on me even on days that I wanted to give up on myself. You also somehow knew when I needed you, even if I don't always tell you."
I couldn't help but shake my head and click my tongue because I knew, deep inside me, that I would have to be possessed to do that for someone. Although I have to admit I had the habit of asking too many questions to simply know more of what's happening.
"You made the world feel like home to me."
I felt guilty after hearing everything she said. I felt like I didn't deserve to be by her side. It was the other me who did all the work, but I'm the one reaping the rewards. It was so hard for me to see we were the same person. He did everything I couldn't. I didn't even have the courage to ask Zef about her wound. He should be the one spending time with Zef, not me.
"Zef… I need to tell you —"
Before I could even finish my sentence, I felt Zef's soft lips press against mine. Her body moved with her kiss, leaning into me. The distance between us vanished at that moment, as if the universe has always been made up of just the two of us.