I gawked at Zef who was puzzled at my reaction. I, too, am puzzled myself but wasn't sure if it's due to the fact that Zef implied we were dating or the fact that I've been called something cheesy like "BABE". The only Babe I knew was a talking pig.
I fumbled for words inside my head, just anything to verify the revelation she dished out, but the best I could do was ask "Did we have anything planned tonight?"
I have to say, a HUGE part of me actually liked it.
Zef rolled her eyes in indignation. Her face was stern yet caring. She stood closer and wrapped my body in her arms, followed by gentle pats on the back.
"You poor thing. You must have been so stressed today," she groaned like a mother worried about her child's first day at school. I did the right(?) thing by hugging her around the waist. Zef was fetchingly slim. Holding her felt like holding something precious —you'll have to rip my arms off to let her go.
She released me from her embrace yet still kept her hands on my shoulders. Lifting my chin up with her index finger, she looked me in the eyes. There was something about that gaze that kept my eyes fixed to hers.
"We were supposed to have dinner, remember?"
I definitely do not remember making any plans with Zef. In the four months I've been with the company, we've never had a conversation longer than 2 seconds. The woman doesn't even like exchanging pleasantries, for god's sake. How in the world did we even get the chance to schedule a dinner date? Or start dating? Did my strategy of I'm-going-to-ignore-you-until-you-develop-feelings-for-me finally work?
I thought long and hard about the situation. If there was an off chance that Zef is just playing a horrible prank on me, what would she get out of it? Did the company put her up to it? What for? I'm still on probation, so there's no way that it's to celebrate my regularization. I couldn't think of her motivation to do something of this degree.
Was I in a TV show? Will Ashton Kutcher, or even Michael V, come out somewhere to tell me I've been pranked? Will I get paid after having my emotions played in such a way? I could already feel the PTSD coming in.
"Ace?"
There was still an inkling of worry in her tone. I smiled at Zef to reassure her I was STILL mentally stable.
"Just a sec, babe. I'll just take a piss, then let's go," I told her.
I trotted to the restroom with urgency. I opened the door, shut it close, and locked it, then turned on the lights. I splashed cold water on my face to make sure I was awake and not dreaming. I examined my reflection in the mirror, verifying if I'm still in my own body or if Zef was mistaking me for someone else.
I scanned myself from head to toe. Everything looked to be the same: the same dusky skin color; the same dark deep-set eyes; the same signature slender and rounded nose; and the same slim and toned figure. It's just the usual me, only rattled. Did beauty standards for men drop globally in the last hour? Am I considered attractive now? Did my chances of being named the sexiest man alive drastically go up?
After wiping my hands with toilet paper, I went out of the restroom to get back to Zef. She was nowhere to be found —it was just me and an almost empty office. Was I out for too long? Did she get impatient and leave without me? What about our dinner date? What about me being her boyfriend?
Did I just go through the shortest relationship of my life?
I scratched my head, bewildered from whatever it was that transpired, and searched for any clue that would shed some light. All I could see were empty office chairs and a lot of desks crammed with personal items. Nothing much to go on, I thought. A few seconds later, I saw Marie about to enter the pantry. I called out her name with zeal, making my voice echo across the nearly empty room.
"What's up, Ace?" asked a smiling Marie. She looked glad to see me. Or seeing someone else at such a late hour in the office.
I walked towards her as she went inside the pantry. Marie purposely went to the sink to wash her blue coffee mug while I took a seat at the table.
"Hey Marie. By any chance, have you seen Zef?"
Marie leaned her head backwards to peek at me. " I did," she responded. "She left at 5:01. That girl sure is punctual."
I thought about it for a second. How can Zef leave the office by 5:01 when she had been talking to me for at least 5 minutes? It just doesn't add up.
"Are you sure, Marie? I remember talking to her at around 5:05."
Marie looked perplexed. Other than the fact that she sees everyone who comes in and out of the office, she had everybody's time records. She has admin access over our biometrics and was sure she saw Zef sign out.
"I'm pretty sure I saw her leave at 5:01," she insisted, her hands still busy wiping the top of her mug, which was followed by "and why would she talk to you anyway?" that came out in a tone filled with incredulity.
"I'm not sure myself. She told me we made dinner plans tonight."
Marie had a look of concern on her face. She gingerly placed her coffee mug by the sink and approached me. She put the back of her hand on my forehead then to my neck, and did the same thing to herself.
"Are you on drugs?" she asked playfully.
I shook my head furiously. First of all, I don't even smoke. The only vice I ever had was drinking, which I haven't done in three months. You see, unlike a few years back, there wasn't much to celebrate. Plus, all my friends are either getting married or having kids. No one really has a lot of time to spare for a bachelor like me.
"I swear, Marie, I'm not kidding. She even called me her boyfriend!"
Marie burst into laughter. Wiping a tear off her eye, she tried real hard to contain her laughter but looking at me made it worse, making her guffaw.
"You're a riot, Ace," she said, still sniggering. "Zef's current personality and disdain towards men cannot, in any way, support your story".
"Do you think she's playing a prank on me?"
"Why would she?" she asked, puffing.
I tried to think of reasons again but nothing plausible came into mind. I don't think sending a design revision would be enough to tick her off and make her cancel our dinner date. With no valid reason, I dismissed what happened earlier as a dream. I was already exhausted from work, so I didn't need this rigmarole to add to my already sky-high stress levels.
"Never mind," I mumbled, sighing. I left the pantry and returned to my desk. I grabbed my red backpack, which was behind the 32-inch monitor, and headed straight to the door.
"Hey Ace!" called Marie, holding her newly-washed coffee mug in hand. "Get some rest, okay? As much as I'd like to think you're not imagining things, but it really seems that way."
"Sorry, Marie", I said apologetically.
"Don't do drugs!"
I exited the office to proceed to the elevator. There was already a crowd waiting for a ride down. Most of them were employees of the bank beside our office, donning their red uniform, and they filled the corridor with a jabber of voices. This was why I hated leaving on time. Although to be fair, 6 o'clock is much, much worse because there are more 9 to 6 employees than 8 to 5 ones.
I waited for the crowd to dissipate, letting them take the first elevators that came. Fifteen minutes of waiting later, only three of us were left. The next elevator was about to come down to our floor.
9... 8... 7... 6... 5...
The downward arrow above the elevator lit up. Seconds later, its doors opened, showing the people inside. There were at least 7 passengers and none of them were particularly eye-catching so I paid no further attention than necessary. We all stood in silence until the elevator reached the ground floor.
When the elevator opened, I was frozen stiff at the sight of Zef. Our eyes locked for a second but neither of us did anything to acknowledge each other's presence. Moving voluntarily, I stepped out of the elevator and looked back at Zef whose face was painted with impatience as she looked up at the small screen of the elevator which indicated the floor they were going to.
By then I was even more confused. First she was acting all sweet and lovey-dovey, then all of a sudden she sees me as just another face in the crowd? What on earth was happening?
I hurried to the parking lot because I just wanted the day to end. The parking place was a good five-minute walk from the building. It was fundamentally just an empty lot filled with gravel. There was also a lot of debris from the building it used to be, which means you can park wherever you like as long as you don't take up more space than required. It was the cheapest in the area at the time, too, so I couldn't complain. While everyone was charging 30 bucks per hour, that one only charged 20. Sweet Jesus, the cost of living in the Metro is ridiculous, especially for car owners.
By the time I reached the place, my Celestial Black Toyota Altis had already been buried in a parade of cars. The parking attendant had to move the yellow Nissan Juke in front of my vehicle to make way for an exit. I watched him closely and observed how effortlessly he maneuvered out of the tight space in reverse. He drove like it was his own and moved around the parking lot like he knew every corner of it by memory.
Pressing the unlock button of the remote car key, I made my way to the car. I plonked myself to the driver's seat and threw my stuff at the back. The rest happened naturally, almost like it was a reflex. I put my seatbelt on, started the engine, adjusted the side mirrors, switched on the AC, and turned the headlights up. I propelled out of the cramped parking lot and started to make my way home.
The traffic back home was terrible. Cars were stop-start, moving not more than 5 inches every minute. It took me forty five minutes to get to the top of the Shaw Boulevard flyover which usually took ten minutes tops. A procession of headlights made its way up on the other side of the road while my side had tail lights blinking like Christmas lights on the world's most distasteful Christmas tree.
I arrived at the condo at around 8PM thanks to the salvation of Jesus Christ and no thanks to whatever government agency is responsible to ease the traffic. My condo unit was a 26sqm studio but I had it converted into a loft-type because it felt cramped. The room had an office beneath a lofted queen-size bed which featured a halogen table light, my trusty 3-year old laptop, and an unwashed coffee cup over a white wooden table. I owned a computer chair, which was unintentionally similar to the one I had back in the office, because it's easier to turn around to the TV that I rarely use mounted on the wall. The bathroom is sitting beside the bed and studio, in case you come over and want to use it.
Literally wanting a breath of fresh air, I slid the window open. The cold crisp air blasted into the room, rustling my hair and chiling my restless body. Winds feel so much different --amazing, rather --when you live on the 31st floor. It's the type of cold that caresses the pain away from your mortal self. I closed my eyes and let my body feel the air hit me all at once.
Feeling the weight of the world fall onto my body, I climbed into the bed and drifted to sleep.
I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock ringing endlessly like a phone call from a loan shark you'd run away from. I rolled to my right side to check my phone. It was 3:05 AM. I put my phone down to sneak in another hour of sleep.
My eyes were already half closed when I realized I was not alone, making them dilate like their ends were taped to be kept open. There laid a silhouette of a woman beside me. Her face was covered by a handful of hair. I could hear her breathing. Slow but sure. I brushed the hair that hid her face, revealing something beyond my horrors. It was a woman with her mouth slit wide open from cheek to cheek, looking at me with glaring bloodshot eyes. She flashed an ominous smile as her long slimy tongue slithered from her mouth and licked my hand.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed until my voice echoed into the room. I screamed until I could no longer scream anymore.
"Am I beautiful?" she asked menacingly.
What was I supposed to answer? Yes or no? You're hot, but not my type? I want us to be just friends?
She laid unmoving, still looking me in the eyes. I could not blink even if I wanted to as if she had power over my eyelids.
"Answer now!"
The lady became more furious by the second, her tongue slowly wrapping around my neck. I could feel its slimy grip on me get tighter and tighter.
"ANSWEEEEEEER!!!" she shrieked, her voice becoming deeper as if it came from the ground.
I shook my head, unwilling to answer. It was one of those times that felt every answer was wrong. It's like Algebra and Trigonometry classes again, I thought.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"
I got up in a panic, covered in sweat. My eyes wandered around the room, looking for nothing and everything at the same time. My heart pounded like it was about to explode. My breath quickened as I began to realize that it was just a dream —a terrible one if I may add.
"What's wrong, babe?" asked a familiar voice.
I felt a hand gently rubbing my back like waves repeatedly crashing to the shore. I tilt my head to the voice and see Zef, wearing nothing but a look of worry.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" I screamed again.