Look At by SALTNPAPER was playing through the speakers and I just stared up at the ceiling. I was lying down on the bed still in my pajamas, my hair pulled into a bun.
It was early and I was so not ready to go to watch a movie with Xander. It felt like my heart was going to fall out of my chest, my finger tips felt tingly and shit... what was going on in my stomach?
I was startled out of my thoughts when my phone rang. My breath got caught in my throat when I saw who was calling.
Xander 🔫
I coughed, trying to clear my throat before I picked the call.
"Hello?"
"Good morning, Bram. How was your night?" He asked and oh my god, his voice. Did he just wake up too? His voice sounded a bit gravelly and deeper and it had to be the best thing I've ever heard.
"It was good. A little cold though." I said, rolling over to tap the space bar on my laptop so I could pull my laptop out of sleep and check the time. Nine thirty am.
"I'm sorry it was cold."
"Nah, it's fine. You don't have to apologize." I said, smiling. He was so wonderful apologizing for something he couldn't control. He was making the feeling in my tummy worse.
"Have you had breakfast?"
"My friend is coming over with it. I'll just make some tea at home."
"You aren't going to invite me?" Xander teased and I giggled.
"I would if I could but I can't so-"
"I shan't." Xander completed and this time I laughed out loud. I got onto my side and my cheeks felt hot.
"You watch The Big Bang Theory too?" I asked.
"It's a guilty pleasure." Xander said with a laugh. I was grateful I was already lying down because if I had been standing I would have surely dropped to the ground. His laugh. His. Laugh.
"I can't... I can't imagine you watching that. You're a big bad man in a gang." I said, teasing just a bit. This time Xander laughed even louder.
"You just called my family a gang." Xander said and I could hear the amusement through the phone. My cheeks felt even hotter than it had a couple seconds ago.
"It is a gang though, isn't it?"
"Kitten, you never cease to amaze me." Xander said and I felt it. I felt the word. It sent a thrill through me, all the way down to my toes and back up my body. I heard the tell tale signs of Ryan at the door and knew I had to end this conversation soon or I wouldn't get to eat breakfast. Ryan has a black hole as a stomach even though he never wanted to admit it.
"I have to go now."
"Before you go. I checked the viewing time for Birds of Prey."
"Can we watch The Invisible Man first? I saw the trailer and it was amazing." I said, wondering if he was going to be okay with the change of plans.
"Of course, Bram. I'll text you the viewing time."
"Thank you." I said. I could easily check for that on my phone but I felt nice to have someone handling something for me. I've been deciding for so long. The call ends after that and once it was done, I finally noticed the song had changed to The Kids Are Coming by Tones and I.
Ryan walked into the room and I winked at him before making grabby hands at the white bags in his hands. Ryan was clad in his pajamas, his hair pushed underneath an orange beanie. He looked like he just rolled out of bed.
"The things I do for you." Ryan said as he joined me in the bed, cuddling up to me.
"I keep saying we should move in together. You don't like leaving alone and you don't like your apartment either." I said and Ryan sighed again.
Ryan has moved into that apartment with the boyfriend who is now an ex. It was the same apartment he found out said boyfriend had been cheating on him. He didn't move though. He couldn't move because the dingbat on an ex had somehow managed to empty out Ryan's account and left him with no money. But that was months ago.
"I'll take you up on that offer. If you really mean it."
"Anything for you, Ryan. You're my best friend and I want you happy." I said, hugging him tightly. We stayed that way until my tummy rumbled.
"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."
"You're too dramatic." Ryan said as he rolled out of my arms. He sits up and I do the same. Ryan has gotten pancakes, waffles, muffins, eggs, bacon, sausages, there was also baked beans in there too and some sweet bread.
Yeah. That was probably about right. It was enough to feed a small army but with the two of us and our stomachs combined, it's a small army.
My phone vibrated just when I was about to take my first bite of bacon. I quickly pulled it up and stared at the text.
Xander 🔫: The invisible man starts at one. I'll pick you up at 12:30 sharp.
To Xander: I'll be waiting
I locked the phone and placed it on the bed before eating.
"Was that your kingpin?" Ryan asked and I nodded.
"Yeah. We're hanging out today." I said, before munching on my food.
"You're actually calm about this."
"Maybe it's because I know you're freaking out about it for me." I said to Ryan, nudging him with my shoulder.
"That's because I'm worried about your safety. If he so much as hurts you or some shit, I'm going to pinch him so hard." Ryan said with a huff.
"I think you mean punch."
"I mean pinch, smart arse."
"Ryan, were practically the same height and just because you're a power bottom does not mean you can go around pinching people. Who even does that?" I asked my friend, shaking the plastic fork at him.
"I do. I've got your back. You know how much my pinch hurts." Ryan huffed again before shoveling a spoonful of baked beans into his mouth.
We eat and talk but by eleven I was up and ready to get ready. I spent twice as much time in the shower, leg shaved smooth and my underarms. I had simply tucked my hair under a shower cap and had taken it off once I got out of the shower, toweled myself dry and moisturized.
Ryan has left the room for me so I could do the necessary cleaning up. Once I had on my boxers and the tight jean shorts I had found, I called him back in. It took us thirty minutes to decide what shirt or jumper to wear, I just pulled on my plain black sweater that had a triangle on the upper right side, my dark blue shorts and my vans.
I just let my hair fall, just brushing my fingers through it to make it even more fluffy. Since I had given Xander the address of a house, eight streets over, I had to leave early.
"You can stay here today and tomorrow we'll go over to yours and pack you up." I told Ryan, pulling him in for a quick hug.
"Sure." He replied. "You look good, best friend."
"Of course I do. Have you met me?" I asked, doing a little spin for Ryan. He picked up a pillow and threw it at me. It missed me by a bit and not just because I jumped out of the way.
"I have and I don't like you. Shoo before you're too late." Ryan said, kicking his leg at me. I flipped him before walking out of the room, to my front door. I took my keys since Ryan had his with him and walked out of the house.
I walked as quickly as I could towards the bus stop, hoping I don't miss the bus. The bus pulls up immediately I got there and I stepped in, tapping my wallet against the sensor before walking to the back to get a seat.
I was half way through the journey to the street where I was suppose to meet Xander when I realized I hadn't taken my airpods. My mood dips and I started to question everything. Should I really being going on this not-date with Xander? I didn't know the man! Do I want to risk this? Shit. What even is this? What was I thinking?
I was still contemplating and thinking about it when the bus stops at the street I was meant to be at. I got down and came face to face with a black Range Rover. I didn't have to move away from the bus stop because I was meeting Xander.
The door to the Range Rover was pushed open and i tried not to let my jaw dropped as Xander stepped out of the car. He had on jeans, a black shirt that was pulled right across his body and a burgundy jacket over it. His hair was slick back and he had a big watch strapped around his wrist.
He looked so good.
He looked so good, all the doubt I had flew right out of my head.
"Bram..." Xander said as he walked over to me. Was I supposed to hug him? Shake his hand? Do I wave? I should wave.
I should wave. Naturally.
I lifted my hand and waved as naturally as I could, all the while smiling at Xander. He raised a brow at me and I could clearly see the amusement on his face.
"Don't laugh at me." I called out.
"I am not."
"Your raised eyebrow tells me otherwise." I refused to cross my arms and huff at him. So instead I glared.
"I am not."
"Was it my wave?" I asked him and he shook his head at me. Was he just telling me what I wanted to hear?
Xander took a step closer to me but really we were an arms length apart. He looked so good though. Have I said that?
"It wasn't. I promise." He said and I narrowed his eyes at him. "I have to say, finally seeing you has made my day. You made my morning with the phone call."
My cheeks grew hot and I resisted the urge to slap my hands over them. I want to say it's too early for cheesy words but those very words were making my heart crazy. Those very words were making the butterflies in my tummy worse.
"It's... it's nice that we finally get to hang out." I said, mentally patting myself on the back for not saying something stupid. Oh shit. I'm overthinking. I'm overthinking and this can't end well and I just-
I feel the weight of someone's hand on my shoulder and then on my neck and the person squeezed.
One.
Two.
Three times.
"Take a deep breath and let it out." Xander's voice was deep and seemed to reach everywhere in my brain. I do as he says until everything clears. We were no longer at the bus stop but next to the car, Xander was right in front of me shielding me from the few nosy people.
"Thank you." I said, my voice quiet.
"Anything for you." Xander said before adding. "Are you alright? Do I need to take you home?"
"No no. I'm good. Let's go see our movie."
Xander looked right at me, his eyes trailing all over my face as he tried to search for something. He must have found it because his tense shoulders relax and he pulls open the door for me.
I got into the car and was about to reach for my seatbelt, when strong hands gently nudged mine to the side.
"Let me do that for you." He said before strapping on my seatbelt for me. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest and make a run for it. Xander buckles me in before shutting the door. He made his way over to the other side of the car before getting in.
However before he starts the car, he pulls a bottle of water from the space in the car door and hands it over to me.
"Take a sip. You were freaking out earlier."
I took the bottle water and stared at it and then at Xander. This man was really everything, wasn't he? Nice, caring, kind and attractive. The only but was him being a mafia boss.
But no.
I didn't want to think too much anymore. My head was a bit cloudy and I kinda wanted to tell Xander to squeeze the back of my neck again but how do I bring it up without it being weird?
Fuck this.
"Thank you."
And really that was it. That was all I had to say.