That day when she watched Tubby getting whipped for what she started…
This time there was no feeling that she was displaced to that place. She accessed that memory like she would access Wispy's memory.
Felixa's heart started to race and it felt like it would burst out of her chest. It was so painful as she remembered Tubby on his knees, trembling in pain. But the one who hit him had to finish the punishment as it was the order he was given.
She remembered her feeling a warmth rising through the pain that wanted her to rush in and stop everything. No one had the right to hit Tubby. And certainly not for something she did.
Tubby got thirty-five lashes as punishment. That was worse because forty lashes are considered equivalent to the death punishment. The probability that he would survive thirty- five lashes was not so high.
Fisting her hands, she took a step forward not able to watch him getting whipped. With every whip he received, she felt a pointed needle getting thrust in her heart. The rain washed away the blood on his back, but the puddle around him started to turn red with each hit. The same rain washed away the tears rolling down her cheeks.
There are twenty more whippings! He won't be able to hold on! I can watch no more!
She opened her mouth to shout them to stop. But before she could, she was blocked by a tall figure with a mystic scent.
'You're not going to reveal your identity now, are you?' he said. His amber eyes were fixed on her. In the rain, he looked like a lotus. The water drops were hanging by the tips of his clumped-up hair like pearls.
'But he…'
She didn't care about anything else at that moment. Pushing Luke aside, she tried to step to the front.
'He wants this… He is doing this for you! Are you going to ruin his sacrifice?' Luke asked holding her arm. His hold was tight bringing some sense to her brain.
'Do you understand what will happen if you go down there and stop it?' he asked, his chiseled jaws clenched tight.
He was tilting his head and his eyes meeting hers were reddened. His lips that were pressed to a line were trembling showing his worry for her.
Letting out a breath, she relaxed. She knew how it would turn out. She lied. She lied to the officials to get inside the academy. That would be equated to lying to the crown which would be a capital offense. No to mention, Tubby was in on it too. He won't be spared either.
Both of them will be killed. Their families would be exiled from the lands if they are fortunate enough to get in the graces of the King and be spared death.
For the first time, she felt the seriousness of the lie she told. Tubby was against it from the beginning. She, under the influence of her drunkard grandfather who was a knight, thought she could get away with it all easily.
[What have I done!]
Gritting her teeth, she counted the whippings. Her tears didn't stop even when the rain did. She wanted to scream to reduce her agony.
'Lean on me,' Luke turning his back to everyone around them, to shield her from others' eyes, offered his chest for her to lean on.
The counting stopped; so did the sound of the whip that tore Tubby's back. Still not able to stop her tears, she tried to walk up to him. But Luke held her back.
'Wipe your face first,' he offered his handkerchief, but he grimaced as it was already soaked by the rain. 'Do you see any other man with tears on his face?' he asked.
Gritting her teeth, she wiped her face. He is not wrong. She cannot be careless to reveal her gender here.
Since she was standing with the crème of the crop student in the academy, no one even bothered to look in her direction. And she composed herself.
But Tubby…
She took a peek. He was still on the ground on his knees. He didn't even have the strength to stand straight. He couldn't get up and his back was wounded like it was a ploughed field. Everything in her wanted to run to him and hold him.
But… She saw Tubby turn at her. His weary eyes that were bloodshot, relaxed seeing her. He glanced at Luke standing by her side for a moment.
'Tubby!' her words didn't come out but tears started falling again. Luke grabbed her elbow and she saw Tubby nodding at her. She could understand that he is asking her to leave.
'Let's go,' Luke dragged her out of the training field holding her elbow.
'I'll walk,' she got out of his hold and he let go of her hand.
'He'll be fine,' Luke said. 'I'll send all the medicines I can get. I can find the best ones.'
'Thank you!' Her lips trembled. She never felt this grateful towards anyone. Not even towards Tubby. She knew Luke can get the best of the potions and salves that would heal Tubby's wounds quickly.
'I'll owe you one.'
Luke said nothing and smiled. At that time, the sunlight peeked through the dissipated clouds and she saw his eyes shimmer like gold.
[Oh... the secrets it held!]
'I'll see you soon,' he smiled and walked away running his fingers through his hair.
Watching his broad back, she realized that he is genuinely trying to help her. The King's brother-in-law has taken her side and is willing to lie to the crown for a nobody like her.
She could feel a tingle in her heart. But her eyes ended up behind her.
Tubby… Tubby… Tubby…
He's hurt…
She decided to get back to their quarters to prepare him ointments. Some of their other friends brought him back, almost carrying him on their shoulders. But looking at her, he tried to walk straight, although he failed.
Tubby…
She couldn't stop crying as she applied the medicines brought by Luke.
'Stop crying,' Tubby held her hand as she helped him sit after she neatly bandaged his wounds. He couldn't even sit properly and he couldn't lean anywhere.
'It is my fault,' she said, choking. 'I'll quit and-'
'Don't say that!' he held her cheek and looked into her eyes.
But as if he saw something unnatural, he froze. His bloodshot eyes widened and Felixa could see his pupils dilating making his green orbs seem almost brown.
The rays of the setting sun beamed in through the window falling between them, and even the dust particles glittered like fairy dust. A gentle breeze that carried the scent of rain caressed her loose hair and she leaned on his warm palm.
'I am sorry for getting you into trouble, Tubby,' she placed her cold hands over his hand holding her cheek.
She watched as ripples forming in his clear green eyes and his throat bobbed as he gulped. He looked confused for a moment.
And then he forcibly pulled his hand out and turned his face to look through the window.
The green of his eyes reflected the sunlight and the streaks in his iris sparkled like gold. His lips bruised slightly as he had bit them when he was whipped was pressed to a line.
She didn't know then what he was thinking. She thought it was just his usual behavior.
But the secrets held behind those emerald pools...