It's not that she used to be a dolt she couldn't see his feelings. He was good at hiding them.
'Don't speak nonsense now, coxcomb…' he smirked, as usual. He was still looking out.
And now that she remembers, that smirk is very similar to…
'You forced me to enter here,' Tubby turned to look at her. This time he was his usual self. She thought that the medicines did their job and he is not feeling any pain then.
'I am not leaving with just a year for our graduation. And you will accompany me here until then. I need to become a vassal to the King or a Knight to a Lord,' he turned to look outside once again. 'I don't want to return home…'
He didn't like his home. He was what they called a "bastard" and he wasn't respected by his siblings although he is the eldest of them all. Their lands shared borders and he would spend most of his time in her home. He was like her brother. She would say that all the time and he'd just scoff.
She didn't know he was planning on never returning. She loved her home and wanted to return. But her home without Tubby… Will it be the same? But she cannot stay here forever. A woman has no place here.
She became sad thinking about that. So, as always, she distracted herself from thinking sad thoughts. And she wanted him to do the same. He is already hurt and his heart shouldn't have to hurt too.
She noticed stubble on his cheek for the first time. He is changing a lot these days. With the golden rays falling on it combined with his blonde hair, they looked like wheat stubble left after a harvest.
'Look at you… you have to start shaving soon,' she tried to touch his chin but her poor hand was slapped away.
'Oww! Why did you?' she asked as she did not expect that. He never hits her.
She looked at him, his face apologetic but he refused to say a word. She preferred him this way too. He doesn't have to apologize for anything. He didn't have to say much for her to understand him.
She thought he'd fall asleep and waited in silence. His eyelashes formed a shadow under his eyes as he looked at the orange moon rising.
'What did he say?' he said breaking the silence in the room, still admiring the moon.
'He?' she didn't get what he meant.
Tubby glared at her and only then did she get what he meant.
'Adonis Lukyan?' she said his name and without her permission, her heart started to ram against her chest cavity once again.
'You can say his name fine but have trouble saying mine!' he scoffed. "And...Why are you turning red? Are you sick?" Tubby leaned towards her and she leaned back. Clicking his tongue, Tubby retracted his hand.
'I'm fine…" she said patting her chest. 'He… he got you the medicines and…' she scratched her head.
'I won't cry anymore, Tubby,' she said thinking for a moment. 'Today, I almost got us both killed and I will be careful in the future. You cannot get hurt for me. I wanted to help you up but I cried and I couldn't even…'
She couldn't speak further as her throat closed. She tried hard to control her tears.
'Don't hold back, Alexa. You don't have to hide your feelings-'
'What did you call me?' she interjected him. He rarely calls her by her name. 'Tubby?' she stood up and leaned closer to his face.
'By dragon's bones!' he pushed her. She could see little clouds of blush appearing on his cheeks. But he hid his blush.
'Get out!' he shouted, only for her amusement. 'And bring me something to drink. Preferably grape wine,' he said cocking his brows.
'Where would I find grape wine? Won't ale do? Or better yet, don't you like milk more?' she asked leaning closer to him with a silly grin.
'You're the milk mouth! Now bring me wine!' he tried to crush her chin but his hold never tightened.
'Get out,' he turned to the side letting go of her chin.
Not wanting to stress him further, she decided to get out. Wine is hard to get. Beer or ale is easy. She didn't know where she would find him wine. But if he asks for it, she must.
She decided to ask him if he could do with beer since she couldn't find wine even if she was willing to pay gold. When she returned, she saw him sitting on his bed, polishing a sword.
The silver moonshine beamed inside the room and his blonde hair glowed. The crickets chirped and the frogs croaked on that peaceful full moon night. The silver rays reflected on the polished surface of the blade. It was then she noticed that he is cleaning her sword.
Her heart filled with warmth. He always looked after her. As he was cleaning, he placed the hilt of the sword on his hand with the tip pointing towards him.
Suddenly the scenery changed. The serene moonshine got replaced by flashing bolts of lightning and the soft chirpings of the insects got replaced by the sound of clapping thunders and roaring rainfall.
She was floating above the ground. She looked at her hands and she could see the raindrops passing through her. She looked like a puff of smoke – a wisp to be precise. In that gloomy surrounding, she looked like a selfish statue made of moonshine with no light; pretty and useless.
She looked at the ground as she heard the abysmal cry of a familiar voice.
Looking up the sky, he shouted from his chest. The reverberation of his voice made the earth shake and the skies tremble.
[Tubby! Don't cry!]
The raindrops washed his tears. Her eyes ended up on the ground where she saw a glow. Like a rose trampled by the hooves of a donkey, there lay a beautiful woman on the muddied ground. She recognized it was her.
And she was dead.
Her sword was plunged through her heart. The raindrops danced over her motionless body wiping all the traces of whatever she's been through till then. Merging her blood with them, the raindrops disspipated down the hill.
The air was heavy and the storm was raging and shaking the trees around them. The entire place was gloomy and dark not making one guess if it was noon or the middle of the night. Neither the sun nor the moon was seen and only dark clouds all around.
In all these, she felt peace. Something that she thought was foreign to her.
'Why did you let this happen..?'
She heard Tubby's painful voice and she tried to get closer to him. She wanted to hug him to tell him that she finally found peace. She wanted him to live peacefully without her. She's the reason for his hurt, after all.
But she couldn't even touch him as her smoky hands passed through him. All she could do was to watch him shed tears of agony and hear his painful wail.
[Forgive me one last time, Tubby… I will find you in our next life and I won't be a fool then…]
She watched, helpless as she's ever been, unable to comfort the one guy who's been by her side through it all. She never deserved him but for him she still was worthy. Worthy to lose everything over.
'Don't waste your tears on me, Tubby… Live the rest of your life for yourself for a change…'
She said cupping his cheeks. But no… he could neither feel her nor hear her. And she could only watch him weep helplessly. But then he stopped crying and she felt relief.
[He'll be fine…]
She was wrong about him, once again. As she watched, Tubby pulled the sword stuck in her heart. Sensing something is going wrong, she tried to hold her sword but no… she couldn't do anything.
With no hesitation, Tubby sank the pointed tip of the reliable weapon she used to obliterate her enemies into his chest, right where his heart is.
[No! Tubby, No! No! Noooo!]
Helplessly, she watched him stumble on top of her. With her sword sticking in his chest, he smiled placing his blood-soaked hand on her cheek.
'Alexandra…'
His deep voice uttered the name her mother gave her making her feel agitated.
He tried to get closer to her face but the sword stopped him from bending closer. She felt pain. She was already dead and she shouldn't be feeling pain, but she did. The pain was so great that she screamed from the top of her head.
She screamed as the earth shook and a chasm formed around the hill they were on. She screamed as the fountains of the great deep burst open and the clouds above tore, opening the floodgates of the heaven.
'Maximillan Zoros! What have you done! What have you done!'
She screamed in agony.
[This shouldn't have happened!]
'Max…Max… Why did you?'
'Max! Do you hear me..?' she held his cheek. She felt no warmth and nothing.
'I am calling your name… just like you wanted to…'
That fraction of time when she could see his soul leaving his body split by her sword, his eyes met with hers.
[He sees me… He sees me…]
'My love,' he said, trying to smile, but his green orbs lost its lustre and he fell over her sword, lifeless; still protecting her body from the rain. Protecting her is all he knew, after all.
'Max!!!'
She screamed for no one to hear her agony.
'Max…'