"Why can't you help me?" I asked. "After all, you're a god too."
There was so much that needed to be done and I wanted the easy way out. I didn't ask for any of this and if she was right, then there had to be a way to stop the war without more bloodshed.
"Like I said earlier, I can only tell you things which you need to know, but there are still so much that you need to learn on your own," she emphasized to me, stretching out the last statement.
That wasn't much help.
The wind howled in the distance causing me to shiver at the cold. This did not feel like a dream or vision. I could feel things like I was still in the real world. I wondered if I could get hurt here, or die.
"You created this place with your mind when you were just a kid," she said, breaking my thoughts. "It was your solace whenever you were down or scared," she continued, stretching her arms out while cracking her knuckles in the process.
"I still remember when you were little, I would read to you about the old gods and tell you of a place created by a certain deity — the cherry field or field of the gods as you used to call it —"
She went on and on about my childhood which I could not remember. I could only smile at the memories she drew out, but I had no recollection of any of them happening. Maybe I was too little to remember and even if I could, the trauma of losing my mother would cause me to forget the pain as well as the memories involved.
"Has Mr Roma..." I said, before stopping myself. I might hate him for whatever reason I had inside, but he was still my father. "I mean, has father visited you in awhile?" I corrected.
It was foreign to call him father, I wasn't used to it yet.
"No, he hasn't," she replied. "It's not that he does not want to, it's because he can't. He doesn't even know where I am. I'm pretty sure he has searched everywhere for me to no avail."
I had known Mr Roman for awhile and I knew him to be someone who had no ties. He might have been a good person in the past, but that man was gone, he was something else now.
"Why not?" I asked, even when I had a pretty good guess.
"Well, it's because he knows nothing of this place," she sighed. "You created this place as a child for solace. When I don't feel your consciousness in your body, I would come in to get you, and this was where you stayed every single time. You and I were the only ones who had access to this place," she explained further, shooting a weary look my way.
It was far from my thoughts, but I wondered if he would change if he knew about this place and her. Would he become someone who cared for other people's safety?
"Before I died, I threw my consciousness in here. I knew that one day you would grow and set things right. I had to wait for years before your last incident," she said grimly.
"When the time is right, you will guide me out of here and into the heavens, but for now we have a mission," she pointed out. "And that is to stop Mars from causing more chaos in the world."
She was not wrong. I needed to focus on harnessing my power and getting stronger than I was.
The sky in the distance started to get dark and unsteady. The perfect weather was beginning to let off, giving way to this turbulence.
"What do I do now?" I asked hopelessly, the wind getting intense with the flowers bending to one direction.
"Well," she stated. "You need to build a team. And your father needs to be in it."
I shook my head in disagreement.
"I don't want him to..."
"Xerxes, he needs you and you need him too," she interrupted. "You cannot do this alone, you're too weak to go up against Mars."
She was really trying to get the family together.
"Your father might look weak, but he's extremely powerful. So powerful that my father had to have his powers sealed away," she pointed out.
She was right, but he was impossible to deal with. My old man was really powerful, after all, he had defied the rules set by the head god and gotten married to a heavenly being, while bringing forth a child. Only an arrogant being would break such law and still survive.
"Well, it's time you went back to your body," she said, standing to her feet. "You've stayed here long enough."
I sighed deeply. I did not want to leave, but there was no choice. I knew what I had to do. First of all, I had to meet up with my father, then I had to build up a team as I trained for my next encounter with any of the gods or demons that might show up. I had to start acting like a warrior and protect my people from losing anymore lives. Standing with her and stretching my back from sitting too long, I walked towards the Queen and smiled.
"Thank you mother," I said, giving her a hug I wished I could give her in the real world. "I'm glad I could see you again."
It felt nice to feel her motherly touch one more time, even if it was just a vision.
"Now, now, anytime you need me, I'll be here," she whispered into my ears.
I let go of her, breaking the bond we had shared for a moment. I was going to miss her, but I could visit anytime I wanted. Looking at the storm brewing ahead, I remembered the nagging feeling I had been having since we started talking.
"Oh yeah, almost forgot to ask," I chipped. "Why do I forget things that happen over here meanwhile I remember things that happen in the real world?"
She looked thoughtful for a minute before giving me an answer.
"Well, you haven't been in here for a long time. Your first encounter with me must have tampered with your head a bit. I'm sure you'll be fine this time around," she smiled with kindness.
I nodded taking in deep breaths, it was time to go. I wanted to stay with her, but she would not agree to that. I didn't know how, but I instinctively knew what to do. Closing my eyes, I let the heavy wind levitate my body into the dark sky, as a fading 'I love you Exodus' was heard.
***
"...he doesn't need to know about those demons yet, he's not ready," his voice pounded away.
What was my father doing in the catacomb? I had gotten into my body, but I did not want to open my eyes yet. Giving off an evil laugh in my head I waited patiently eavesdropping on the conversation he was having.
"It's the only way, Roman. If he is what we all think he is, he needs to know his history and how to overcome that dark side of him before it..."
"Enough!" a hand slapped on a table, breaking the peace of the room. "Know your place sorcerer! I've lost enough already, that monster shall not be awakened. Leave everything as it is. It might have manifested once, but there is no guarantee of it doing so again. There are things in this world which should be left buried. If it is ever released, our fight against my brother and against heaven would be child's play, when compared to what would be unleashed. We shall not speak of this again."
I heard retracting steps with a door being opened and shut in anger. What was he talking about anyway? Someone plopped onto the ground sobbing.
It was Petra. This was the first time I had heard the Xaj cry. I guess I had pretended enough, it was time to get up. Opening my eyes, I saw on the ceiling a painting of a man and a woman having intercourse, with the word 'Coitus' written above them. This was different from the catacomb. I sat up to find myself in a room, no, this looked more like a cabin of a ship.
What is this place, I thought to myself.
"Oh, you're awake," she said, smiling at me from the floor with swollen eyes. She had burnt marks on her body with her clothes torn.
"What's going on?" I asked. "Where am I?"
Everything felt so strange — the room we were in, her horrid appearance — everything. The swaying of the room confirmed my suspicion about us being in a ship. The Xaj struggled from the floor, picked up a cane and huddled to the bed. The last thing I remembered was having a story session with her, Ang and the Abbot, how did we get to this point of her using a cane?
"We got attacked," she winced in pain sitting at the edge of the bed with care.
"Again?" I asked, to which she nodded.
"These Draka soldiers don't know when to give up," I laughed. "From the state you're in, I can tell that they were in their thousands... no, hundreds of thousands and you defeated them with the soldiers."
"It was just one," she frowned, adjusting her leg on the bed.
"Just one!?" I cried in disbelief. She nodded again.
"The King himself appeared out of nowhere with his soldiers," she explained. "He brought hell on earth. He was like nothing I had ever seen or heard about before. He single handedly wiped out our camp, killing everyone on the field."
When she talked about the battle which had raged, she spoke with fear. It must have been some battle.
"I barely got out alive," she continued. "All I could do was try to survive. I could not save anyone, not even myself. Your father did most of the work, he saved the handful of survivors we have on this ship."
If the battle was as bad as this, I hoped the abbots and generals made it out okay.
"What about Ang and the abbot?" I asked in concern.
She turned away from me, looking in the opposite direction as tears rolled down her cheek.
No not again, I thought.
"They didn't make it," she said with a whisper.
My eyes widened in fear, letting my emotions take over. Everything became silent, the only sound I could hear was the pounding of our heartbeats.
The pain I had felt when Queen died hit me harder this time. Just when I thought it was all over — when we had one win — it was all for nought. Rage boiled inside of me, I had all this power and I was still useless. The King was always one step ahead no matter what we did. We were never going to win this war. It was going to be an endless cycle of winning and losing until we were all wiped out.
I was a failure.
***
"You could have saved them you know," I growled in anger. "You are the King for heaven's sake."
"Was the King," he corrected. "Till I lost everything that belonged to me."
He made a sharp turn from the deck to the port, taking up a bucket filled with wet towels before moving back to the deck.
"I'm guessing Petra must have told you everything," he breathed out.
"I lost your mother who was the love of my life, my powers that made me who I was and I had to cower in fear like a child while dropping you in the hands of a peasant family to keep you safe, which if I should remind you hasn't been going great so far because somehow they can sense your aura. Now I'm on the run with you again. How can I defeat the King without my powers?" he said increasing his pace as he approached the deck.
"You could have saved..."
"YOU CAN'T SAVE EVERYONE XERXES!" he let out, dropping the bucket in anger. "You just can't."
We stood facing each other with the bucket separating us.
"There are some battles you can't win," he explained. "I know this because I have lost so many battles since I was dethroned. Get over yourself. Some people die, others live."
Not Ang. She was not supposed to die.
He hadn't changed at all. He did the same thing, saving me and letting my friends die off. They were not important to him, they were bags of flesh to him.
Picking up the bucket, he walked to the deck, tending to the wounded as I followed him around like a lost puppy. I was furious with him, but he was right. If he had not saved the Xaj and the survivors, they would have all died.
"Look Xerxes..."
"My name is Exodus," I interrupted angrily. "And I am going to bring down Mars myself."
He froze with a frown on his face.
"Follow me," he ordered dropping a towel on a wounded man before making his way to a cabin.
"Shut the door," I heard him say when we got in. I hesitated, but it wasn't like I had a choice. Closing the door behind me and watching him lean on a table infuriated me for some unknown reason. Everything he did irritated me. How was this man or god my father?
"How do you know Mars?" he asked solemnly. "There were only two earthly beings who knew about my brother's name. One of them is standing in this room right now and the other is no more. So, who told you?" he demanded.
"It was..." I started before halting. It was too soon to tell him about mother. "It doesn't matter, tell me what you brought me in here for," I said looking away from him.
The room became silent for awhile before he cleared his throat as a sign that he was going to talk.
"During the time you were born," he began thoughtfully. "We had opened the gates of hell and released demons into the earth. And by 'we', I meant your mother and I."
He walked around the table sitting on a chair by the wall.
"At the time, they were under my rule and they were not aggressive. Your mother and I named you Exodus, meaning the road out. That was because those who were in chains were finally free and you would be in a world where demons, gods, sorcerers and humans could live together in harmony," he sighed. "A few centuries ago a friend of mine answered such a name and he brought about goodwill."
"When the great war began, I saw no use in having you with me. Everywhere I went with you, they would follow and that would always lead to the destruction of that town. I could not attack with my powers, I could only defend myself," his eyes softened for a bit.
I crossed the room in two strides, heading for a little window.
"Uranus sealed my powers for defying a certain rule, but I got out with my family before he could come after us. You see, a gods power can never truly be sealed, but it can be reduced," he further explained. "Let us say I had a hundred percent of my powers before, now I have five percent. How can I win with five percent? I am as good as a human trying to win against the forces of nature, except I am a very strong human."
Wow, I thought. His ego must be screaming release me right now.
"I thought the only way to protect you was to stay away from you and give you a normal life away from me," he stated causing me to laugh. "After all, our auras were like beacons to the enemy."
"I renamed you Xerxes, meaning ruler over heroes, the lion king, a great warrior, because that is what you are and what you will be. Your new family accepted you and that was when I decided to take on my brother. I had tactics, however, that alone can only get you so far. You cannot defeat a mad god without being mad yourself and since I had no powers, I kept losing everytime. He found your location and sent his demons after you," he straightened up.
"When I got to the town, your adopted parents were dead, but so were the demons and the people of the town. There was fire everywhere, but you stood in the middle of the flames unscathed," he said with seriousness in his voice. "I'm guessing it was his doing," he soliloquized pointing to my chest.
"Now, I did not name you Xerxes for aesthetics, I gave you the name because it comes with power and fear..."
There was a rap on the door interrupting his story, as a man walked in with a scroll to which he handed over to the former King, leaving as quietly as he had come.
"What is that?" I asked curiously.
He raised up the scroll, "This right here is a sealing scroll. I would use it to transfer the seal I have, from my body to yours."
"What seal?" I questioned, staring at the scroll.
"The seal in my body which puts down my powers from being used. It cannot be broken, but it can be transferred."
"And... you want to put it in me?" I asked again, still skeptical about it.
"Yes," he answered absentmindedly surveying the scroll.
"Why would you do such a thing?" I frowned.
"Xerxes, you have a monster in you. That monster needs to be sealed or else we're doomed," he said, dropping the object on the table.
"If it is sealed, would I still be able to use the powers I have?" I queried in concern. I needed to learn how to control it not have it sealed.
"No, but we can..."
"Then I'm not doing it," I retorted stubbornly.
He fell back into his chair with a hand rubbing his temple.
"You'll have to do as I say if you want to win this war," threatened the former King.
"I can't win without powers," I stated. I was not going to lose to him. "And there would be a much better chance to win if we both took down Mars together."
"No Xerxes. This is my fight, not yours," he countered.
"I made a foolish mistake in the past and I'm not making it again. The monster stays locked," he said. "I put a sealing spell on you before bringing you into camp to avoid any kind of incident and that was how your powers have been in check for years. Somehow, it broke free when you got attacked by that boy, Meridius. You saved the camp with those powers, that is true, but it is unstable."
The scary dreams I had been having came up again, putting fear into my heart. Maybe he was right, but I still wanted to try.
"If you think my brother is mad, the monster in you is a thousand times worse," he raved. "It took the whole force of heaven and hell to seal it away and now I cannot believe it's in you. If it lets loose, it would destroy everything that lives and breathes. It is dangerous. You cannot use a power like that, ever."
There was no use arguing with him, but I did know one thing, I would never be weak again. I would learn to control the power in me so I would use it to win this war. I would break through every barrier doing it my way. I had no idea how I was going to learn control, however, I knew who would teach me, Petra. From what I had heard during her conversation with Roman, she was on my side. I would use that influence to learn a lot, gathering victory for all the losses I had gained. For the meantime, agreeing to his whim seemed like a good idea, but in secret I would be a master of my own making, practicing when I had the chance. All I had to do was concur to his demands and everything would be fine.
Looking away from the window, I gave a heavy sigh as I nodded in agreement.