He liked to read, he told himself. By himself, enveloped into words and worlds and knowledge, far beyond what the real world could offer him, anyway. He didn't need anyone, out there, books couldn't hurt him.
Or could they? Sometimes, when he had a weak moment, he wondered if his mother had been right about that book? That he didn't really grasp what black magic even was? But what did she know about that, anyway? Why did it matter to her, what kind of powers he pursued? Did she think so little of him, that she thought he would be consumed by magic like that?
It was her own fault for not protecting the castle better. Sure, he knew she wouldn't be happy with him, fiddling with that book, but he didn't put it in his study chamber. Clearly, she didn't either, but he felt no guilt for trying to open the book, without notifying her first.
But… had it been worth it? He sometimes wondered if it really had been, in the end. Now, he was alone again, and while he tried to convince himself that it was fine with him, he couldn't deny that the big, empty castle, didn't feel any less empty, now his sole provider of socializing was gone…
When the troll had left that night, after their fight, he hadn't expected him to come back to the castle. He had prepared himself for that, leaving the ring in the basement chamber, should he come back, both to let him know they were done with whatever they were, and to alert himself. The ring had been enchanted to alert him of the return, should it be moved. His mother wouldn't go down there, so it could only be if the troll came back.
As he had felt the slight tingle, jolting him awake from his restless sleep, he knew he only had a moment to make up his mind. But he was still too hurt and confused to even consider what the older man was saying. He barely remembered their conversation, anymore.
From then on, the troll stopped trying chatting him up. He figured he wanted to give him space, but it only cemented that he didn't know him that well. Nite didn't want space. He didn't need to be swept off his feet in some grand, romantic gesture, but he needed reassurance, that he was wanted. If the troll couldn't provide that, then maybe it was for the best that he didn't even try to make up.
Maybe he had acted out of loneliness? Maybe he was too young to know what love was… In the end, it didn't matter, he thought, as he read through thousands of pages, to find something to distract his thoughts. His thoughts about black magic, that had surrounded him for months now. His thoughts about his mother, and the loneliness it brought back when she arrived home. But mostly, no amount of books or knowledge could get his thoughts away from that damned troll…
Nite was too proud and stubborn to ever apologize. And while he knew why the troll had been concerned, he didn't feel like he was the one to apologize for this. The troll had known he didn't want his mother to know about the book. It had been an act of fear and selfishness that had made him tell her, and he couldn't just forgive that!
Days became weeks, and soon every last ounce of concern his mother had seemed to have that night when she told him that the troll would take a small trip to see some family, faded away as had it never been there. She returned to teaching him every once in a while, but mostly, he studied by himself. His mother simply just made sure that he made some kind of progress, as she put it. He had wondered why before, but now he understood that she waited for the day, where she didn't have to hide him, anymore.
Any want to see the outside world had faded as time went by. And while he before had looked forward to his mother's continued travels, now it seemed to bring him doubt. When she told him, that she would go on another, shorter trip, only mere months after she had been away from the castle for half a year, he wondered if this was what the troll had waited for. Maybe he simply wanted for them to be alone if he was to make contact with him again?
But he didn't. It made Nite even more bitter to think about. The troll didn't approach him, and he rarely saw him around the castle. Not that Nite looked for him, but if he had to stroll around the castle, he could at least look for the troll.
This became his new life. The leaves on the trees turned from knobs to the greenest they would ever become here, before they turned brown and fell off, leaving the trees as naked as he himself felt. The troll had said he wanted to make things right again. Why didn't he make up for it, then? How long could it take him, anyway?
For a long time, Nite simmered in his anger. For months, he waited for something that never arrived. He didn't talk about his troubles, because really, who could he talk to about this? While he owed the troll nothing, he didn't want to involve his mother. If this was due to her not being able to understand him, or him still being somewhat faithful to the troll, he didn't even know himself.
But as time passed, and his anger faded, rose again, and faded yet another time, he would stop and notice the small things, he had looked past in his anger. The simple things, like how his meals were prepared. He hadn't noticed it right away, as he had been used to the way the troll had cooked when it had only been the two of them. He prepared his food the same way, the same small tips and tricks he had learned to make Nite enjoy his meals a little more. He thought it might have been out of habit, but it didn't change, and he knew his mother's meals were nothing like his own.
Or how his clothes were washed with faint, citrusy smells, reminding him of the shampoo he himself had used every time he wanted to make the troll notice him a little more.
Or the pies and sweets, that followed his dinners more frequently now than before, despite him never hearing his mother speak of eating any of them herself.
It took him so long to realize, that he almost felt embarrassed. Hadn't he been so stubborn, he would probably have tried to talk it out with the troll, but he couldn't. It felt like the older man avoided him, and he wasn't sure if it was due to their argument, or if his mother had said something to him. Maybe he was mad at him, for the lies he had told about his magic or the recklessness he had handled it with?
What if he really had meant it, when he said he didn't want this anymore? Making up and doing things right didn't mean he wanted to continue their relation, Nite had to remind himself. It meant that the troll felt guilty, and he could only imagine that to be true.
If he had really wanted to make things right, he wouldn't have left his bedroom that day, Nite thought. But he knew it was a lie. The troll was far too submissive to defy an order, even if it was from Nite. Maybe especially from Nite.
His birthday came and went, and once again, the spring approached. The days blended together and seemed unimportant. But then, one faithful day, when his mother invited him to the secret corridor full of rooms he could hardly remember the contents of, his interest in the outside world was piqued once again.
,,Time really flies,'' she said, absentmindedly as she read through Nite's unreadable scribbles. ,,I think it's about time,'' she said, handing him back the papers.
,,For what?'' he said, uninterested.
,,It's time for you to accompany me on my travels,'' she said, finally looking at him. At first, he didn't really understand her words. Like, he couldn't process the meaning. Then, he got suspicious.
,,… Why? I mean, why now?'' he asked.
,,Well, you've behaved quite well after your… incident, last year. And you're reaching an age and a magic capability, where it would be possible for you to accompany me around,'' she shrugged. ,,Sit down, Wi-… I mean, sit down Nite. I have some pretty heavy explaining to do,'' she said, prompting him to sit in front of her desk, with her on the other side; as to distance herself, both physically and emotionally. He didn't sit down.
,,What? Am I adopted?'' he grimaced sarcastically, knowing all too well what she was about to say.
,,No you're not,'' she sighed, already tired of his tone. ,,… You are indeed my flesh and blood. But in terms of magic, and aura and essence… it's only a few people who know of your existence,'' she said. When he didn't react, she became nervous. ,,Did you know that?'' she asked suspiciously.
,,Eh,'' he shrugged, playing it off rather well. ,,I just figured that it was a possibility since I'm not allowed to leave the castle. But why hide a baby? Sure, it wouldn't look great if a 3-year-old popped up out of nowhere, but why go through the effort of hiding a baby, in the first place?'' he asked. The initial chock he had felt back then had faded a long time ago, and while he could ask many questions, he found that he wasn't that interested in knowing the answers. Whatever reasoning she could come up with, would fall flat.
,,You were a very… special baby…'' she hesitated. ,,I needed to make sure you were safe, and I can't stress enough that fear I had that someone would take you away, and use you for all sorts of awful things. You were a very powerful sorcerer, even as a baby,'' she said slowly. This might have piqued his interest at some point, but all he heard was her selfishness. Even if that was the case, she would have known that Nite would have understood that, even years prior to this. Just as the lying troll, she didn't tell the whole truth, but he didn't care, anymore.
,,I see they haven't found me yet,'' he said slowly, looking down at the desk. ,,They couldn't be that big of a threat,'' he concluded, walking towards the door.
,,Where are you going?'' she asked confused.
,,To pack my things. I assume we're leaving in a couple of days. Or hours, or minutes, I don't know. You usually leave quite fast after announcing such a trip,'' he said.
,,You don't have any other questions?'' she asked, almost hurt. ,,About… how I did it, or where we are going or… anyone else?'' she asked, clearly preparing for every question under the sun. He just shook his head, moving closer to the door.
,,Not really, no. The matter of fact is, that regardless of why, how you did it, has been awful. You say I'm disobedient or want to cause havoc, but why do you think I want that? Your answer is as good as mine, I don't know, because you rarely even talk with me, mother,'' he said harshly, taking his leave.
,,Every time I try to teach or talk to you, you cut me off,'' she insisted, making him stop in the doorway. ,,What happened to the curious son I had, asking about the outside world and where he came from? Doesn't any of that matter, anymore?'' she asked. For a moment, he felt lost. Should he tell her the truth? He didn't want to. She wasn't allowed to see his insecurities and his still broken heart.
,,He's gone,'' he simply said. ,,Now, excuse me, I'll go pack.'' She yelled something after him, something about leaving tonight, but he didn't respond. Everything around him felt black and suffocating, but for some reason, he could still breathe. He could still walk. As if he was in some sort of trance, he just walked down the hallways, heading to his room.
In some ways, the troll reminded him of his mother. How avoidantly they tried to be around conflicts. How little effort they put in, in making things right. Sure, regarding the troll, he himself could try to initiate the conversation, but he didn't feel like he was in the wrong. Sure, black magic was forbidden, and as he had expected, the troll had reacted strongly, that was why he hadn't told him about the content of the book. SURE, he was afraid to be rejected, yet again, afraid to be a forgotten memory in the troll's mind, and afraid that he really only had been with him, due to his lonesomeness.
Months of confusion and denial culminated in that one, heartbreaking thought; He hadn't done it out of loneliness. Whatever strong feeling it had been back then, was still there. Love or affection, even friendship, he didn't feel a need for it, but it was still there. He didn't want love. He wanted that damned troll. He wanted Seymore… But he didn't really want him, did he?
How could he compare to a pixie, anyway? How could he make up for that his mere existence was everything that Seymore was afraid of or didn't want? Nite felt they were so similar, but the troll always only saw their differences. Even if the troll hadn't complained about how Nite looked, he was aware that he had a very particular taste, even if he seemed to like what other trolls did as well. But Nite was neither beautiful and dandy as the pixie, nor big and broad as trolls would be. If not loneliness, what had brought Seymore to even touch him?
All those questions had to wait for now, he thought, as he packed up his bags. He went through his most used books, and other stuff he deemed necessary for his travel out in the unknown. Although he still wore his big, greyish sweater, he made sure to pack more flattering clothes, simply because he assumed his mother would want that.
He wasn't as excited as he had thought he would be. For a long time, he had wanted nothing more than to follow his mother to whatever kind of mystical, magical affair she had going on, but now, it seemed pointless. He couldn't rid himself of the thought, that his mother wanted nothing to do with him, and if anything, she had wanted to get rid of him back when he was a baby. But why hadn't she? He couldn't ask those kinds of questions, because frankly, he didn't know if he would be able to bear the answer.
When he stepped outside of his room, he caught a glimpse of the troll as he stepped into the basement chamber. He wasn't sure if he himself had been spotted, but a sudden urge came over him. Maybe because he soon would be away from the castle? Maybe because the fear always would linger, that one day, the troll wouldn't be to find in his chamber, and Nite would never get the chance to say anything.
He put the bags down beside his door, and walked with long, confident steps, stopping at the entrance to the basement chamber. It was too dark to see anything, when he looked down into the room, and although he knew Seymore could see him, he didn't say anything, he didn't move, trying to make himself unnoticeable, which only lit his anger once again.
,,Tell me one thing,'' Nite said, trying to control the raging fire he once again felt inside. ,,Did she ask you to act this way? Or has it been your own free choice to avoid me, all this time?'' As far as he could see or hear, the troll didn't move, but he must've heard him. ,,Don't make me come down there,'' he said between his teeth.
,,… She asked me to,'' he admitted. His voice seemed so weird. He hadn't heard it in almost a year. Like a faint memory, his anger washed away, and longing to be held in those strong arms overcame him again. ,,… And even though her reasonings were different… I believe… it was for the best…'' he said quietly, standing up to get closer to the entrance of his room. ,,I never meant to hurt you. But you're too young to understand what I try to protect you from…'' he said, walking closer to the dim light from the hallway.
,,But you didn't protect me from anything,'' he said defeated. ,,You protected yourself!'' he whined but stopped the moment the light flashed over the troll's face.
,,I know. And you're right,'' he said quietly, keeping his distance from the human. ,,But just as I can never make up for the way I hurt you, I can never explain to you why I won't be good for you. It will bring you hurt and frustration if we've kept so close. Because one day… we wouldn't be able to…'' he said slowly.
,,Why? What do you mean?'' he asked confused. It was clear that he didn't want to elaborate, but if anything, it seemed like he felt he at least owed him that.
,,She will probably tell you herself, your mother, but… I have… never asked about her travels, but she's… I don't know, she called it 'in a circle', but I don't know what that means… You probably do,'' he said, almost smiling.
,,I do,'' he said, waiting for the troll to speak again.
,,Good. She'll probably try to betroth you with someone in the circle,'' he said, looking down. ,,And while you… at some point, might have thought otherwise… I really don't think I'm worth that fight…'' he said quietly.
Nite wanted to protest, but despite all his warm, fuzzy feelings, he couldn't. When he looked at the troll in front of him, the only person he had really felt safe with, he still felt betrayed and hurt. Mostly, he felt that Seymore was weak, and he couldn't make peace with that.
,,I think you're right about that,'' the sorcerer said, his voice toneless and his face hard. ,,I don't want to be included in her sister society. Neither by blood nor by wedding my way into it. But if your concern still is my mother, then I don't-,'' he began, but the troll's big, fearful eyes looked up at him, startling him mid-sentence.
,,I'm scared, Nite. For so many things, I can hardly put to words. I'm scared of your mother. What would I do, if I caused her to hurt you, simply just by taking a place she had planned for someone else to take?'' he whispered hastily. ,,I'm not trying to deny that what I did was wrong… What I do is wrong… But I don't know what she is capable of doing. I want you to be able to get away, one day. Out in the world, to a place you can feel safe.''
,,Then it's your lucky day,'' he sighed, turning around. ,,I'm finally permitted to go out. Surely, to that circle of hers, but at least that's a little further away from here,'' he said, spacing out as he did so. He thought he had gotten rid of that habit, but clearly not, because the troll had undoubtedly heard him. ,,In the end, troll, you've always chosen my mother, and the comfort that living here gives you, even if you're lonely. But that's okay. I don't want you to choose me, if it causes you these many concerns. Simply, I just couldn't be, whatever it is that you want,'' he said, leaving to get his bags.
,,Please wait,'' he said, actually following the small man into the hallway, but Nite didn't turn around. ,,It had nothing to do with you, I promise-.''
,,Your promises are empty!'' he sneered. ,,You say that, but it's not true. You risked everything for him!'' he bit back.
,,And where did I end up?'' he said, louder and a little shakier now. ,,If I hadn't risked everything, I might've had a home!''
,,Then tell me what happened! Let me understand why I feel so rejected and alone? Tell me why you made me feel all that he did to you?!'' he shouted back, huffing when he looked back at the flustered troll.
,,I… I can't…'' he stammered. ,,There's… simply not a good enough reason, for that…'' he said slowly, looking guilty down at his hands.
,,Fine. Do as you please,'' he said, yanking his bags towards him, before he walked past the troll, away from him and all his lies. But to his surprise, the older man followed him. ,,What is it that you want from me?'' he bit back, looking straight in front of him as the troll walked behind him.
,,… I don't know…'' he admitted. ,,I want to talk. I want to make sure you're okay… I…'' he said, stopping as Nite did the same.
,,But I don't want that,'' he hissed. It was hard for him to keep spewing his hard words when Seymore looked so distressed… But he didn't know what the troll had to say, to make it all feel alright. He feared, that he couldn't make it feel alright, whether or not they spoke together or not.
,,Then… Then I want you to go out there… And I hope you can find someone, that makes sure you're okay… That you will allow doing so…'' he said hesitantly.
,,I don't want that either,'' he said. ,,I don't want a lover, anymore. I didn't want you because I needed to fill some void of not having a lover. I wanted you, every single part of you, in every single way,'' he said quietly. ,,I don't need someone to fill that spot. That spot is gone,'' he concluded, turning around again to wait in the hallway.
As he traveled through island after island with his mother, he would always think back to this moment. He imagined that if Seymore had just tried one more time, if he had just said this or that, that he would have forgiven him this time. Nite knew it was unlikely, but he liked to blame the troll, as he had stopped following the human and finally turned around in defeat.
And really, what would he had said? Nite didn't want to listen to all his reasons, that he had heard before. He wanted to know why the troll was so afraid. Maybe that would have been the thing to heal their relation, but Nite couldn't know that for sure. If anything, Seymore could risk everything yet again, still end up with the sorcerer not forgiving him, and Nite didn't really want that either.
He didn't like that he felt jealous of the pixie. He had never met him, and yet he seemed to want to destroy that man, he knew so little about! But anger could only get him so far. When his distress about whatever had happened between the pixie and the troll in the past faded, his insecurities arose again, as he couldn't help but feel it wouldn't have been as hard for the troll to take him as his lover, had he looked anything like a beautiful pixie.
Had his mind been at a better place, he might have enjoyed the journey more, but he didn't feel as excited as when he had walked around the castle with the troll, the ground covered in frost and the air so cold it hurt him. He wondered if this was due to him simply just changing after the whole incident, or if he wouldn't have enjoyed it, even if he had never fallen for Seymore in the first place? They went through multiple islands, both by the gateways, but also with boats, floating from island to island. He didn't know exactly where they were, and he mostly didn't disturb his mother, when he didn't have to.
In the past, he would bother and bicker with his mother, but now he didn't have the time or energy for that. She seemed satisfied with this, but that didn't settle his looming anger towards her.
When they finally arrived at their destination, his mother stopped him, before they went into what mostly seemed like a cave, hidden on an overgrown mountain. If Seymore had been right about his mother's plans, and she wanted to introduce him to her witch circle, then it made sense the hideout was in a cave. While not very common anymore, there was nothing wrong with forming a circle or a witch society, but mostly it was seen as a taboo.
,,Listen, Nite,'' she said, gesturing for him to sit down on a log, but he kept standing. ,,… Since I came to Aenamo, I was one of three founding sorceresses in the circle, we're about to enter. My travels have many purposes, but mostly, I visit this place a couple of times a year,'' she informed him.
,,How neat,'' he muttered, looking uninterested at the cave. He waited for her to disclose her idea of finding him a wife, but her next words surprised him:
,,When we're here, you'll call me aunt Willa. They cannot know I'm your mother,'' she said sternly.
,,But circles aren't supposed to have secrets,'' he said doubtingly. ,,You're supposed to be one blood,'' he continued.
,,… They do not know I have a child. But I've told them about my nephew, Nite. While I couldn't imagine that this would be the time you would use your birthname, it's very important that you don't,'' she said seriously.
,,Okay,'' he said, looking at the cave again. ,,I'm your nephew, just arrived from Vaihines,'' he said, repeating words he deemed she would like to hear. She nodded, taking in a deep breath before they walked closer to the entrance of the cave.
It was hidden between a tight forest, but even through the woods, you could spot the enormous opening of the cave. It seemed darker than it should be, clearly to distract anyone from entering. He felt a slight chill when they passed the opening of the cave, but kept as calm as he could be.
,,How many are included in your circle?'' he whispered, as they walked through long cave halls, only dimly lit up, barely enough for him to not trip over himself.
,,17 elders. But most of us have children or apprentices,'' she said quietly. ,,Not every member will be here tonight. But you'll probably meet a lot of people around your age,'' she said.
,,Huh, neat,'' he said sarcastically.
,,Don't be like that,'' she scolded. ,,Wouldn't that be nice? Wasn't that the reason you wanted to see the world?'' she asked, almost convincing him she was interested.
,,No, it wasn't,'' he said dryly. ,,Besides, I already know someone my own age.'' She stopped and looked suspiciously at him before he rolled his eyes. ,,Seymore is my age. Or as close as it can be, when comparing ages,'' he said irritated.
,,That's not the same,'' she said dismissively, continuing down the dark cave. ,,Trolls might age differently, but he has still lived many more years than you have even been born, even before he arrived at the castle. You'll get to know other 17-year-olds here,'' she concluded.
Her words simmered in his head for a moment. It suddenly made all too much sense why Seymore had been so scared. Nite wasn't foolish, he knew his mother would have never accepted him dating a 40-year-old human, regardless of their gender. But Nite wasn't interested, in someone so much older. He was interested in Seymore because he knew that he, as much as himself, was a struggling adolescent. He knew his mother wasn't as interested in other species and cultures as himself, but he had naively never guessed she wouldn't even acknowledge that Seymore wasn't comparable to a human's age.
,,At least try to be nice, Nite. It's very important to me,'' she whispered, as they got closer to what he assumed was the main room of the cave. The walls widened up, and at the end of the tunnel, there was light.
,,Fine,'' he mumbled. ,,But I'm not interested in being included in your circle,'' he said, stopping when she did, not far from the light entrance. He could hear laughter and muffled voices from the other side of what seemed to be pure light, hurting his eyes.
,,Oh, don't worry about that. It's a sister society, you wouldn't be let in, anyway,'' she said, almost smiling. ,,But you can still gain knowledge from this, and hopefully, one of the younglings can be a good influence on you.'' Even if Seymore hadn't told him anything, he would have guessed that his mother wanted to marry him off, just by the tone of her voice.
They stepped through the light, and he felt blind and weak for a moment. When his vision returned to normal, he was greeted by the sight of a beautifully decorated place, barely even resembling a cave. Everywhere were fairy lights, sparkling in millions of different colors. In the middle of the room where a black cauldron, simmering away with something that mostly smelled like soup. In every corner were the same pillow-like chairs his mother had in her private library, containing many different species.
He saw more elves, not surprisingly, but also a couple of fairies and half-breeds that were a mix between almost anything; merfolk, nagas, even some that resembled dwarves and dragons, but also species he couldn't recognize or hadn't heard of.
,,Willa,'' a voice greeted, as he took in the sight around him. A tall lady, mostly resembling a human, walked towards his mother and him with open arms. Her face where white, much whiter than her skin underneath her make-up, and her lips were red as blood. He wouldn't be surprised if she had vampires in her family.
,,Irene,'' his mother said, returning in a warm tone he had never heard her use before. ,,I'm so happy to see you again.'' Nite kept looking around, already bored as his mother and this Irene began to talk, but his wandering thoughts suddenly got interrupted, when the woman spoke to him directly.
,,Well, well, aren't you going to introduce me to your…?'' Irene said, gesturing to Nite.
,,Nephew,'' Nite said, nodding slightly in her direction. He didn't take her hand when she stretched it out to greet him. ,,My name is Nite,'' he told.
,,Don't be rude,'' his mother scolded, but Irene just retreated her hand with a smile.
,,Don't worry, Willa, my dear. In a circle it can indeed be wise to doubt strangers,'' she smiled mischievously. If Nite didn't know any better, he would say her eyes shifted from warm to hungry as she looked at him, but he tried to brush it off. ,,You never told me about any family!'' she scolded Willa playfully, but her warm tone suddenly seemed chilly.
,,He has just arrived from Vaihines,'' she told, almost proudly, an unfamiliar sound when she talked about him. ,,And I thought he could learn a thing or two here.''
,,Really?'' she said, her grey eyes piercing into the young man's mahogany ones. ,,If I didn't know any better, I would say you were trying to have your nephew mingle with the other younglings,'' she smiled, revealing her white teeth. As far as he could tell, her canines weren't that pointy, but her mannerisms still alerted him, as if she was about to attack him. ,,And you're lucky, young man, because we have a lot of sisters gathered tonight, and most have their youngling with them,'' she said.
,,Oh, lucky me, aren't I?'' he said dryly, wandering away from his mother and her friend, looking around the place as if he owned it, wondering why his mother would even think of marrying him off to her precious circle?
Maybe it was some ritual thing, he thought, as he looked through books in foreign languages he had yet to understand. Or maybe one of the younglings needed a potential mate? He couldn't imagine that his mother saw him as a good fit for a young lady, it was more likely to be the other way around she hoped for, and if the other elders of the circle didn't know about him, they couldn't have requested for him to be there.
As the minutes passed, he heard whispers around him, but he didn't pay much attention to them. He wasn't curious about the people, only the tons of books he had never seen before. He didn't mind that no one bothered to talk to him, as he occupied himself in one of the corners, waiting for his mother's return to scold him.
,,Up,'' she said when she finally came back to him. ,,We're having a meeting, and you're coming with me. You'll be quiet, unless spoken to,'' she informed him as he stood up from one of the big pillow chairs, that nearly swallowed his tiny body.
,,Alright, auntie,'' he said, just as defiantly as when he spoke to her as his mother. She was about to scold him again, but decided not to, it seemed.
Behind one of the beautifully decorated cave walls, painted with glittery paint in uneven patterns, and with all sorts of dried flowers and leaves, where another entrance, to yet another room in the cave. Walking through the otherwise solid wall didn't face him as weird in a place like this, filled to the brim with sorceress', young and old.
The table was a giant map of Aenamo. Around the magnificent, round table, were placed 34 chairs. Some of the chairs had their backs turned towards the table, and just by looking around him, he assumed it was those members that wouldn't be present tonight.
His mother and himself took a seat around the Northern part of the table, which confused him. While he wasn't exactly sure if it mattered, it seemed to be fixed seats. Maybe his mother had started the circle while she was settled in North, but that didn't make sense to him. As far as he knew, she had always been in the West, although not always on Mokar. And even if that had been the case, well, why hadn't they fixed it by now?
Much more likely, she lied. It sent weird chills down his spine, for some reason. While Nite didn't have a strong sense of morals and comradery, he did understand the power of the circle. The power of being one and having a collected power. Why, and how, his mother could be part of a circle when she wasn't true about any of her life, surprised him.
But it also made him warier. Sure, Irene seemed nice enough, but he couldn't rid himself of some weird vibes from her. Maybe she reminded him too much of his mother, despite her seemingly chatty and kind personality, but just like with his mother, she seemed like she hid something. He shrugged it off again, reminding himself that he probably just didn't understand people correctly.
,,Greetings, beloved sisters,'' Irene said, standing up as the others sat down. This gave Nite a good opportunity to look around the surrounding sorceress', even finding a couple of young men in their midst, but he got distracted when he laid eyes upon the girl at Irene's side, completely blocking out everything she was saying.
The girl herself was extremely beautiful, but that wasn't why Nite couldn't stop staring at her. Although she looked a lot like Irene, there was something eerie in her eyes. She had the same golden hair and white skin, and her face was painted a lot like her mother's, but her eyes weren't grey, they were pitch black, no eye-whites, just pure, black nothingness. She did have eyes, because as far as he could see, she moved them around as Irene spoke.
,,Who's that?'' he whispered to his mother, gently nodding to the girl beside Irene. His mother sent him a scolding look for not listening to what was being said, but answered regardless:
,,That's Fae, a very powerful magical prodigy. She's Irene's daughter, but don't get too close to her. She might look like a fair young lady, but she's much too old for you,'' she said quietly, returning her attention back to Irene's speech.
She didn't look a day over 18, he thought. Surely, that wouldn't be too old for him. If she was a vampire, she could be hundreds of years old, maybe that was what his mother meant. But as she sat there, silent and obediently, her long, golden hair wavering down her back, and her arms folded in front of her, puffing up in the sparkly, faint yellow dress, he felt slightly intrigued. Like an aura that drew him to her.
When Irene stopped talking, another took the word, reporting on their studies in their area. Although his mother had founded the circle, he quickly learned she wasn't the head sorcerer of the West, and not for North, either. He guessed that she, Irene, and the elf Ayda, that had formed the circle originally, had other responsibilities than to report the studies of their respective living quarters.
But no one said anything of interest for him. He listened here and there, but he couldn't help but stare at the girl with the completely black eyes. Fae didn't seem to notice him, but it was hard to tell.
,,And now.'' Irene's voice cut through his cascade of thoughts, as she vividly gestured in his and his mother's direction. ,,We have a guest. A newcomer. A friend amongst our midst we haven't yet been introduced to. Our beloved Willa has her dear nephew with her this time, and I can only hope you'll all take good care of him while he's here,'' she said grandiosely.
It felt rather good when all the attention fell on him, he thought, as he humbly nodded around to greet people. He deduced that the elders respected him due to his aunt, and the younglings were interested enough to at least see a new face around here. It seemed like his mother had been the only one without offspring or apprentice, up until now.
Seymore had always said that Nite would find someone better, someone more suitable for himself, out there. And this place was filled to the brim with young and talented people, the perfect place for him to get over the troll, if anything. Even though fewer, there were also two young men, an elvish boy he figured to be Ayda's son, and a young man, probably in his twenties, that undoubtingly were part merfolk, even if he lacked the tail.
But neither the young men nor the fair ladies seemed to catch his interest. He tried to rationalize, that he hadn't been into Seymore just by looking at him, but he was all too aware that Seymore had been more forgiving in the process of getting to know him than these new people probably would, and he couldn't deny the simple fact, that he had felt some tingles when he looked at the troll, even before he was anything he could even consider his friend.
He had been truthful when he had told the troll, that he didn't want a replacement. He had never been interested in getting a lover, he didn't feel the need for a romantic companion… But something had sparked in him, as he grew closer to Seymore. It wasn't his particular looks or his gentle nature that had sparked his interest, it was the simple fact of how hard he tried to get to know him, tried to comfort him. Because in the end, no matter how old Seymore was or what he had experienced through his life, he was still just as insecure as Nite tried to hide he himself was.
He didn't find Fae interesting in the same way he had been fascinated with the troll. He liked Seymore in many different aspects, but regardless of how he put it, he was still very attracted to the troll; the way he looked, his big body frame, and the gentleness of his movements. There was something different about Fae, despite their completely different bodies. Like her aura just loomed uncertainty and death.
Strangely, he didn't find that off-putting. He didn't find it particularly arousing either, but he wondered if he just picked up something that wasn't there, or if she was as intimidating as he felt her to be. For some reason, he felt a need to find out for himself, which was the case.
As soon as the meeting was over, he tried to slip away from his mother, but she kept asking him to come back, clearly picking up on him being fascinated with Irene's daughter.
,,Remind me again why I'm not allowed to socialize when we're here because you said I needed to socialize, dear auntie?'' he whispered dryly. She was about to tell him off when Irene came up behind them, her long, cold hands placed on his shoulders, her painted fingertips slightly digging into them.
,,Willa, my dear, let the boy go off and play. He doesn't need his aunt down his back, all the time, now, does he?'' she smiled. Even if her words were kind, her tone still sent chills down his spine.
,,… Very well,'' she said, gesturing him to leave the women be, and as soon Irene let go of his shoulders, he almost ran away from the place they had been.
The other younglings didn't seem as overly enthusiastic as their elders. While he indeed got many looks, no one approached him. They mostly kept to, what he assumed, was the cliques they had formed through the years. Some of them were probably born into the circle, trained to enter it when they were deemed ready, or maybe even taking a spot from their elder when time seemed fit.
A thought crossed him, that this was why he was hidden. His mother had wanted a daughter, maybe to free her from the circle? While it didn't make her actions much more humane, it seemed too simple to be just that, but he simply couldn't buy her explanation of 'some evil, powerful force', that wanted to take him and corrupt him. If anything, whatever force that had wanted that, had succeeded, despite his isolation, because he already felt like he had corrupted himself.
By having little to no social skills, much less knowledge about social hierarchy, he found himself wandering up to the black-eyed Fae, as she silently whispered with what he assumed were two of her friends; the boy who possessed merfolk genes, and a girl that looked younger than himself, most likely a phantom, but he didn't pay much attention to the confused, dismissive looks they sent him.
,,Hello,'' he said, looking directly at the golden-haired girl in front of him.
,,Hello?'' Fae said, her delicate features moving slightly in disgust. Then she looked up, and Nite got to catch a glimpse of her meeting eyes with her mother. Her demeanor changed in an instant before she with the faintest of smiles began to speak again: ,,You're the new kid, right? Nite, if I'm not mistaking?'' He nodded and noticed her now very chipper tone, wondering what that look had actually meant. ,,I'm Fae. I'm Irene's daughter and next in line to be the protector of our meeting spot. Although that'll probably not happen soon,'' she smiled, gesturing to her friends. ,,This is Alki, he's mostly here because of Laurelai over there,'' she teased, pointing at a fairy girl in the other end of the room. ,,And this is Tia, the next guardian of the West,'' she told.
,,Nice,'' he said casually, not paying much attention to what he was being told. ,,Can I talk to you, just for a moment?'' he said, gesturing away from her goons. It seemed to surprise Fae and her friends that he so carelessly would ask her something like that, not even considering how she would perceive it, as if no one dared to speak to Fae directly. But Nite was educated enough to know that you couldn't downright ask about evil auras in front of others. He didn't care much about how she herself would react to the question, but he didn't want her reaction to be seen across the whole room, alerting his mother.
,,I mean, we're talking now, aren't we?'' she said playfully, just as overly welcoming as her mother.
,,Privately,'' he added, looking right at her. ,,Although I don't know if there's any place more private, in here,'' he mumbled to himself. He guessed he had said it in that weird, soft voice, Seymore had mentioned for him, because all three looked kind of mystified at him, even though it wasn't the strangest thing he had ever slipped, saying out loud.
,,Private, you say? What for? I mean, we're all friends here, we share everything, don't we?'' she said, gesturing around her. Her motions seemed stiff, and it was only now that he noted it, as he hadn't seen her fingers clearly before; they bent in a way as a doll would.
,,I'm not part of this or any other circle,'' he said, looking intensely as her fingers moved. ,,I don't need to be one, with everyone. If you want to gossip afterward, be my guest,'' he said. She noted that he looked at her fingers, quickly retrieving them into her long sleeves, of the puffy, overly frilly dress. Now that he thought about it, she also looked like a beautifully painted, well-dressed doll.
,,You don't want to be a part of this? What a shame. I'm sure there are lots of young ladies here that will be upset about that,'' she said. He wasn't sure if she mocked him, but he didn't feel she was as friendly now as before. ,,Could that be why you want to speak to me alone, Nite?'' she smiled. Her teeth were as white pearls, but none of them were pointy.
,,Nevermind,'' he said, rolling his eyes and leaving the trio, apparently surprising them. They yelled something after him, but he didn't turn around. Whatever evil aura he had felt about her, he was wrong. She was simply just annoying.
And if she somehow had an evil aura, then, why would he try to pry for that information? Surely, she wouldn't want to tell a complete stranger about that, would she? Maybe he still longed for the book his mother had taken away from him, or a source that could replace it. Maybe he still had the urge to be powerful, to change the world, to make space for someone like Seymore, that felt so out of place everywhere he went… Like himself…
While Aenamo wasn't separating species, and while they were still much better off than Vaihines, magic seemed to have the downside of creating rather weird offspring. Hybrids were possible in Aenamo, actually quite common too, but sometimes, full-blooded species would get abnormal children. Like Seymore. And when such children grew up in societies mostly containing that species alone, the difference would be more noticeable, than had it been a hybrid in a mixed society.
The biggest cities across the realms of Aenamo were all mixed, as it should be, in Nite's opinion, but many places throughout the realms would be single species societies. This was most common in the West and the East, as North ruled as one kingdom, and South was almost as progressively inclusive as the Center Isles. The only reason he could think of why the Center Isles had been homophobic towards Seymore, specifically, was because of jealousy of him bedding a pixie. And as the troll hadn't mentioned anyone having a problem with the pixie having a male partner, that seemed reasonable enough for him.
He still wanted to change all that, and while magic could do many things, he knew it wouldn't be enough to change a whole world. Maybe Nite wasn't reflective enough about what it would mean to change the whole world, or how much work it would be to conquer the world to begin with, but he knew that if he wanted to do that in his short lifespan, he would need to use something more forceful, like black magic. And maybe, just maybe, this Fae had some insight on how he could get that book back. He just had this feeling that she and her mother wasn't as far from his own mother and her deceptiveness as they wanted to seem.
Without disturbing his mother or gaining too much attention on himself, he slipped outside the cave. The walk was as tedious as last time, but he needed some fresh air. They had only arrived a couple of hours ago, and he was already tired of it.
But as he sat down at the cliffside, looking down at the land beneath him and taking in all the wonders of its beauty, he couldn't help but to think of Seymore again, and how he much rather would have snuck away from the castle back then, the troll by his side, as they searched across the realms for a place to call their home. The thought alone about sitting here, looking at waterfalls and tight forests, fields of flowers and the endless, blue sky above, with the troll's hand in his, made him teary-eyed. If this wasn't love, then what was, he thought as he wiped his eyes.
,,Are you crying?'' a voice sounded behind him, startling him so he almost fell down the cliffside. ,,Oh, watch out, little fella, you could hurt yourself!'' Fae said, walking closer, a little slower and more cautious.
,,You startled me!'' he sneered, trying to steady his heart. ,,And no, I'm not crying, I just thought about something,'' he mumbled, looking down the cliffside again.
,,About what?'' she asked, sitting down beside him. When she was this close, she really did look like a living doll, he thought.
,,About… a friend of mine…'' he said. ,,And how he would have loved to see this.''
,,One from the Mainland?'' she asked curiously. He nodded, reminding himself that in this scenario, he was from the land below. ,,Why didn't he come with you?'' she asked.
,,He couldn't,'' he said. ,,He didn't want to.'' She didn't ask further into it for a while, and Nite didn't pay her any attention. Thoughts about the circle and black magic, even about that damned book, seemed to fade at the memory of Seymore.
,,What did you want to ask me about?'' she finally asked. She seemed impatient, like she wasn't used to waiting like this. And she probably wasn't. Just by her looks and status, he guessed that she was very popular and probably rarely needed to fight for attention.
,,What kind of species are you?'' he asked, finally looking at her. He didn't think much about it, before he suddenly grabbed her hand, studying her joints. She was so stunned she didn't even pull away. ,,You look like some sort of doll, but I don't know of any 'living doll' species,'' he said, wondering.
,,Rude,'' she said, retrieving her hand. Although she acted upset, her smile was still playful and sort of kind. ,,I'm not born like this, silly!'' she told him, looking down the cliffside. ,,When I was younger, there was an accident. My mother couldn't save me unless she combined me with a doll. Mind you, it wasn't a regular doll, it was my most prized possession, enchanted by myself, so I don't really mind being connected with her, for all eternity,'' she said slowly. She seemed confident in her words, but even Nite could feel her sadness.
,,Why didn't she turn you? She's a vampire, is she not?'' he asked, as she looked back at him. Her black, pupil-less eyes looked into his soul, as if she read directly through him. When she smiled, he felt stripped of all secrets he had ever had.
,,You're right. How very observant, you are,'' she said mischievously. ,,She is a vampire, but she isn't born as such, so she can't turn anyone,'' she sighed. ,,She was very sad, for a long time, that she had done this to me. But it's not so bad, being a doll. People tend to like dolls, don't they?'' she smiled sadly. Every time she smiled, her face looked like it barely moved, but it was still very apparent that it was supposed to be a smile. ,,Now it's your turn. Tell me about the Mainland,'' she said excitedly. Her demeanor was nothing like when they had been in the cave around the others, and it made him wary.
,,… There's not much to say,'' he said avoidantly. ,,I never saw much of the land, anyway. I was born to a mother, who kept me from the outside world, for reasons unbeknownst to me. The only friend I ever had, worked for her, and I've now left him behind. Life with my aunt isn't that different, despite I'm being outside, in the wonderful land Aenamo should be, but I don't see it…'' he sighed. ,,The world is beautiful, isn't it? I can't tell, anymore.''
,,It is. There're not many places like this, and it's not that easy to come by. That's why we chose it. We tend to move the place from year to year, but I like to look at the forest down there when I have a little time for myself. I haven't had this view in other places we've been, and trust me, I've seen a lot,'' she chuckled.
They went silent for a while again, just looking at the landscape, dwelling in their own thoughts. Nite already felt tired of talking with her, or maybe it was just all the sensory inputs he got? It could be the travel itself. He couldn't remember he had felt this tired when he began talking with Seymore, back then, but he was aware that social interaction drained him, even with the troll.
He wondered what Seymore did right now? Would he leave the castle, as soon as they were gone? Or would he still be there when Nite came home? What did it matter, anyway, when they were both too stubborn to even talk with each other?
Besides that, they wanted different things, he reminded himself of. But it didn't seem so bad now, to just be whatever they were before, if he couldn't be his lover. He just wanted to be close to him again. He had felt safe and cared for in a way, and even if Seymore could never say it, he knew he loved him. The earrings weren't wrong, he refused to believe that!
,,Was that, that?'' she asked, pulling his attention back into reality. When he looked confused, she rolled her eyes, although hard to see. ,,Was all you wanted to ask me, about my race? Why was that so secret?'' she giggled.
,,No, I wanted to ask if you had a flair for black magic,'' he shrugged. Her face grew concerned, and her pupil-less eyes zoomed restlessly around in their surroundings.
,,What? Why would you ask that?'' she said, moving a little away from him. ,,You can't ask people that!'' she sneered. She hadn't yet broken her sweet, playful character, but she seemed oddly uncomfortable with the question. Even if it wasn't something you would usually ask about, he hadn't expected her to react like this.
,,I don't know,'' he admitted. ,,There's something about you, that seems familiar,'' he shrugged. ,,No one seems to notice it, and maybe it's just me, reading you wrong,'' he admitted.
,,It's so rude to ask people that. Do you have no manners?'' she scolded him, calming down a little. ,,Now I'm glad you didn't ask me in there,'' she admitted.
,,Well, I'm aware enough to know that people rarely seem thrilled for such kind of questions,'' he admitted. ,,I didn't mean to upset you. I just wondered if it could be true,'' he shrugged.
,,Do I look like someone that possessed black magic?'' she scoffed, making her pretty face seem distorted.
,,I've never met anyone with black magic,'' he said. ,,I don't know what they would look like. A possessed doll, with a blood-sucking vampire as a mother, is as good of a guess as any,'' he bit back.
,,That's racist,'' she said, as her face fell in much sadder folds. ,,Not every vampire is evil.'' She was silent again, not in the mood for fighting anymore, it seemed. The words felt weird to hear. He reminded himself, why he wanted the book in the first place, and why he needed to be better than making comments like these.
,,… Yerh, it was, wasn't it?'' he mumbled. ,,I shouldn't judge on something like that. I'll do better,'' he said, looking at her again. She seemed surprised by his reaction, but she still didn't say anything. ,,Thank you for telling me,'' he said, as he began to stand up. He was already on his way back to the cave when he heard her voice behind him.
,,Wait!'' she said, standing up herself. She was much taller than him, looking down at him with this weird, wondering look in her black eyes. ,,You're a weird fella, aren't you?'' she chuckled. He shrugged and nodded.
,,I guess I am.'' When she smiled, he felt uncomfortable. Not because such a beautiful creature graced him with her attention, but because he could feel in his bones that she wasn't honest.
,,Why are you interested in black magic, anyway?'' she asked, trying to get him to sit down again, but he kept standing up. ,,Are you… a black magic user yourself? You said you looked for something familiar,'' she noted.
,,I can't use black magic,'' he said bluntly. ,,But I don't know any source of magic, that could help me with my goals, besides black magic,'' he shrugged. He knew that everything he would tell her, she would bring further, but not if she had black magic herself. Judging by her reaction, she felt somewhat shameful that he had looked through her like that, and if it was true, she wouldn't want her precious underlings to know. Not unless they had black magic themselves. He took a gamble with being this honest with her, hoping to gain the information he needed.
,,Your goals? What kind of goals do you need black magic for?'' she asked, almost confused. He sighed and sat down beside her again. He felt no shame in telling her, and he had a slight hope, that if she possessed the forbidden form of magic, she could help him retrieve his book.
,,I want to change the world,'' he simply told. ,,That's why I need to be better, than making racist comments. This world should be a utopia, and it's not. And I will change that!'' he said seriously, looking at her intensely. ,,I don't care about what kind of magic it is that can help me achieve that goal. Black magic is forbidden because it's powerful, not necessarily evil.''
,,That you even have to be precise, that it can be evil, makes you a fool,'' she said bluntly. ,,You don't gain such powerful magic for no reason or by accident. You sell a piece of your soul. You're the perfect candidate because you feel like you have some higher, grandiose goal than everyone else around you,'' she scoffed. ,,The magic would eat you up, before you could even reform Aenamo in any notable way. You would end up being a dictator, if anything.''
,,Why do you care?'' he snapped. ,,If it takes being a dictator to root out racism and… other bigotry in this world, isn't that justified?'' he said slowly, avoiding the word homophobia, but he could tell that she had an idea of what he was going for, as if she suddenly looked at him in another light.
,,… Well, maybe you're right…'' she said, looking out at the wilderness beneath them. ,,But do you really believe black magic is the answer? Do you really think you can handle that?'' she asked, almost concerned.
,,Yes,'' he said stubbornly. ,,No demon will get the better of me.''
,,Then your magic will probably not be as strong as you think,'' she shrugged.
,,… What do you mean?'' he asked slowly.
,,I mean, you give your soul to a demon, they grant you powers. The more you give, the more powerful you'll become, the more control they have over you,'' she explained. ,,It's not easy to gain this power, in the first place.'' He looked at her again, smiling smugly.
,,Oh really? How did you get yours?'' he asked challengingly. She was about to scold him again, but then she just sighed frustrated.
,,I was tired of being a perfect, pretty, little doll,'' she told him, surprising him that she actually would tell him this. ,,I've been a doll for almost 100 years! And I don't mind being a doll, I mind my mother using me as the perfect example for everything!'' she said harshly. Her sudden anger was familiar, and he briefly saw a part of himself in her. But not like he had done with Seymore. He saw all the spiteful, brutal, and ugly parts of himself in Fae, surprisingly for an otherwise such beautiful creature.
,,Then… why don't you leave?'' he interrupted, making her look at him again.
,,Because I'm a doll, you idiot! I need assistance! Sure, I have magic, but I need to recharge by putting on strings, I can't put on myself. I need to be polished and cared for if I crack. And my magic doesn't work like that. Not even close,'' she huffed. ,,You really want to know why I have black magic? It's not to free Aenamo or anything like that. It's to free myself!'' she said proudly.
,,Then why did you deny that you have that kind of power?'' he asked, moving to take a closer look at her.
,,Because I don't know you and you're weirding me out!'' she said. ,,You have no idea how mad my mother got when she found out! I'm not allowed to talk about this, why would I be allowed to talk about this?'' she said, rolling her eyes.
,,I get it,'' he said excitedly, ,,because my mother freaked out when she found my book! I found this book that… whispered, to me. Taunted me! I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to open it, and then my… aunt found it and took it away,'' he said, hoping she didn't notice his slip up. ,,And I hoped that if I found someone else with powers similar, that I could get it back. If she has not destroyed it, that is.''
,,She can't,'' Fae said. ,,Books like that can't be destroyed. They can be contained, but only if she's observant about it. Let me guess, it just popped up, out of nowhere, right?'' she asked.
,,Yes!'' he said. ,,It's been laying around for years, but as I couldn't open it, I never paid much attention to it. But then it hit me what it actually was!'' he smiled, almost forgetting that he barely knew the girl at his side.
,,What kind of mark was it?'' she asked.
,,A half-moon,'' he answered.
,,I haven't heard of that before,'' she said, looking around. When she was sure that they really were all alone, she moved a little closer and held out her wrist, before she pulled her sleeve down. The mark on her arm was golden, mostly resembled an eternity sign, he thought. ,,That's my mark. It's best to have it somewhat hidden, but still in a place where it would be easy to use,'' she told him. ,,Don't touch it!'' she hissed, as she retrieved her arm, far away from his grubby hands. ,,It's still… fresh. I haven't had it for that long, and it hurts,'' she scolded.
,,I didn't know,'' he said apologetically. He wanted to ask her so many questions, but he barely knew where to start. ,,Do you know how I would get my book back?'' he settled on.
,,It will find you,'' she told him. ,,If you really want it, and your aunt at some point loses track of it… it will find you, I promise that. My book also just suddenly appeared in my belongings, one day,'' she shrugged. ,,But… do you really think it's worth it, for some stupid, idealistic dream?'' she scoffed.
,,Yes,'' he said calmly. ,,It will be.''
,,Why do you want so badly to change the world, anyway? Because of stories you've read about this place?'' she asked curiously. He didn't want to tell her about Seymore, but he somewhat expected her to know already. As he didn't really intend on indulging in his mother's intentions with his visit to the circle, he didn't feel he would lose much telling her.
,,I want this world to be more suitable for someone I love,'' he said, looking up into the endless sky. ,,I mean… why be in Aenamo, if there isn't enough space for you? If there isn't enough space for differences? That doesn't make sense,'' he said dreamingly.
,,The world will always be filled with good and bad, Nite. You can't change that,'' she said softly.
,,I will rather be seen as bad, making an uproar, being a dictator, than letting this world rot as Vaihines is,'' he said sternly. She looked at him for a while, before she smiled.
,,… Are there many gay people in Vaihines?'' she smirked, but she didn't get any particular reaction from him, seemingly disappointing her.
,,No,'' he simply said. ,,And not enough here, either. There's not enough space for every race and every sexuality to just be, even here in Aenamo. That's going to change,'' he said calmly.
,,Oh come on, we're much more inclusive up here,'' she said, rolling her eyes again.
,,Not inclusive enough,'' he sneered.
,,Is that why your friend didn't come with you?'' she asked, her voice rather kind again. ,,You're in love with him, right?'' she smiled knowingly, and he felt his cheeks heat.
,,Yes I am. And I know he liked me, too, but he's… very stubborn. And so am I,'' he admitted.
,,The book will be scared if most of your heart is set on another person, and not your goals or the magic it withholds,'' she told him. ,,That's probably why you couldn't open it.'' He thought about it for a minute, before he looked at her again.
,,So you're telling me… I have to choose? Between love and magic?'' he grimaced.
,,… Yes. But when you have the magic, you can do whatever you want. You can't get rid of black magic, it will always follow you, even just a tad. It will consume you when angry, and follow you like a shadow when not in use. No sort of healing can rid you of it, and no spell will reverse it. But when it's there… maybe you don't want the one you loved. Are you ready for that?'' she challenged him.
Was he ready to give up on Seymore forever, just to gain control over magic, he probably shouldn't play with? Did he really want to rule the world? And if so, would he want it if it was without Seymore by his side?
,,I can't imagine a magic, that is strong enough to rid me of my love for him,'' he said quietly.
,,You're young, love is a strong word,'' she shrugged.
,,I don't think you understand,'' he said, looking up at the sky again. ,,I would do anything for that man. Even change the whole goddamn world. I've never wanted to rule over anything before he told me about his heartbreaks. And I need the whole wide world to see him exactly as I do.''
,,Romantic,'' she said, rolling her eyes. ,,Is this why you aren't interested in the girls from the circle? That's why you're here, right?'' she asked.
,,I'm not interested in being married off to some random sorceress,'' he said sternly. ,,But I don't really want anyone besides him. It doesn't matter what their gender is, they're just not… him,'' he said, trying to explain.
,,You'll have many loves throughout your life. And you're young, why are you so set on this one?'' she asked. He thought about it for a while, as he oftentimes had done. Why was Seymore so special? Here he was, with the opportunity to meet someone much more suitable for him, and yet, no one fancied his interest. He wasn't sure if they would have done so, hadn't he been with the troll beforehand. What if he wasn't capable of love?
,,Because, when I'm near him, it doesn't really matter who I am, or why I'm here, or what we're going to do. When he is close to me… he feels like the most soothing magic I've ever felt,'' he smiled.
He didn't know if it made sense, but Fae didn't ask more into it. She didn't ask anything else, either, as she finally stepped into the cave again, leaving him alone, a little more confused and lonesome than before, but even more dead-set on getting his own mark, with or without her help.