I sit in my car. My brand new car. I finally got off my learners. I had to resit my learner test twice cause I got a few questions wrong. But I did it in the end. Then I got through my hours. All alongside school. I'm proud of myself.
I got to buy a car! I chose this small lime green car cause it reminds me of green tree frogs. Or frogs in general but still the green tree frogs are mostly this colour.
I rest my forehead on the steering wheel. I've got another headache. They just keep getting worse. They happen every few months. I get the regular small headaches now and then but these ones feel like a fire.
I feel hot so I turn on the engine and turn the air con on. As I'm fanning myself I hear my phone ding. Its the group chat.
Maddy:Who's coming Saturday morning?
Ashley: oooo me me me! Can Brady come too?
Maddy: eww boy germs, mmm ok maybe
Ashley: yay!
Maddy: Ella, you coming too?
Me: yeah I'll come!
Maddy: it's settled then! Can't wait ladies!
Ugh. I just feel tired now.
"El! El!" My little brother Tomas comes running out the door waiting for me and calling me. I get out and walk up to the door.
"Are you coming Tom Tom?" I say playfully. He giggles and runs inside past me. Cute little fella. As I walk to the kitchen, I grab some painkillers and down them. I bet I've got to get something for Toms dinner tonight. Dad probably won't be home until late.
"El." Toms sad voice came from the lounge room and I rush over to see what's wrong.
"What's wrong Tom?" I ask confused. He only stands still looking down with a frown.
"Where's dadda? I no see him today."
"At work Tom Tom." I say reaching my hand out to him. He ruffles his short blonde hair and grabs my hand. I take him to the kitchen and he reaches up to me.
"Up El." I lift him up and carry him like a mother.
"Food Tom Tom?" He shakes his head and rests his head on my shoulder. Wonder if dad will be early for once. Highly doubt it. He's usually late at night. And then early un the mornings. It sucks cause I look after Tom. Heck, I'm basically his mother. We don't have one, a mother.
"Fred." Tom says and I start looking for his stuffed frog. After a once over of the house I put him in bed as I look around for it. Ding. My phone again.
Boss: your shift for tonight is now at 4:00
Crap. As I grab the stuffed toy from under the couch I go back to his room and give it to Tom. I need to get ready cause I have to walk to work, I bet dad won't be home in time and I'm not using any of my gas today. Of course my boss had to make my shift earlier than I was rostered on.
"I have to work tonight Tom Tom. Do you want to hang with Maddy?" I say to Tom and he nods his head in response. I quickly search her number and call. After I tell her what's happening she says she can take over.
I quickly get ready and am chilling on my phone when I hear a car pull up. Rushing outside I hug Maddy and as she goes inside I walk over to talk to Mrs L.
"Hey darling. You in need of a ride to work?"
"Yes please Mrs L."
"What have a said before darling? Call me by my name." She said cheerfully.
The car trip was quiet except for some small talk. It didn't take long to arrive as it's only a few streets away.
———————
After a long and tiring shift I started walking home. I clocked out, put my headphones in and started my journey.
It was always a quick walk home but I always got paranoid walking alone. So I put music in to distract me which works sometimes.
As I got home I walked inside thinking Maddy or Tom would rush to the door like they sometimes do. They weren't on the couch or in the kitchen.
"Maddy! Tom!" I yelled. She's probably reading him a bedtime story which I always find to be cute. Climbing the stairs I walk past my fathers closed study. That's odd, it's never closed. He must be home. This brought a smile to my face which faded as I thought of him never being home for us; his kids.
I lightly knock on the door to Toms room and open it. I rush to his side when I see tear-stained cheeks.
"El. Dad home." He continued crying silently.
"What's wrong Tom? Has Maddy gone home?"
He nods and replies "Daddy didn't bring mummy home. She's not mummy. I-I want mummy." He cried. His hands roughly wiping his face.
"Who isn't mummy Tom?" I asked in confusion.
"Her. Daddy bring home a different mummy."
He came home with a woman? I didn't expect that. I thought he was still grieving Mum. I thought that's why he worked longer hours. To get his mind off of her. But obviously he's over mum.
I wipe Toms cheeks.
"Look at me Tom Tom. Where's Fred?" I hope Fred can calm him down.
"O-on the c-couch." He stutters still crying.
"I'll go grab him, yes?" I ask even thought I'll still be getting it. Tom nods in response and I leave the room.
Walking downstairs I call Maddy.
"Hey, thanks so much for looking after Tom."
"No worries, umm, your dad?"
"Yeahhhhh, he brought someone home I heard?"
"Yes, well I saw them kiss when they went upstairs."
I shrug it off. "Oh well. Only Tom matters to me in this family." It was true. I loved Tom a lot. But dad? We never connected. Never talk anymore. He just buys everything for us.
"Are you ok Ella?"
"Yeah yeah, i don't care really. I mean, I just thought he was still.." I cut my sentence short. Maddy knew what I was saying.
"I'm still... still grieving."
"Yeah yeah, it's alright Ella. Did you need anything?"
"No thanks. Should be right for now." After we say our goodbyes and hang up, I grab Toms stuffed frog toy he calls Fred and rush back up to his room.
As I get there his eyes are drooping and he snaps back to attention when he sees movement.
"Fred!" He giggles as I pass Fred to him. I lie in his bed next to him and he snuggles close. Tom is so cute when he does that and eventually we both fall right to sleep.
Authors note!
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