I woke up in the middle of a daze. Suddenly, an elf girl appeared.

"Hello? Are you still alive?"

She was speaking in a language I couldn't understand. There was only one possible solution: I was in the middle of a dream. A lucid dream involving a busty elf girl with an hourglass figure.

Her golden hair reflected off of the sunlight, and I felt heat travelling like a torpedo to the lower section of my body. I felt an urge to conquer this literal woman of my dreams.

Leaning forward, I decided to lock lips with her.

"What are you doing? Why are you leaning in like that?"

Her mouth tasted like strawberries.

"Noooooo! According to elven tradition, I have to marry the first man who touches my lips!!!"

Her reaction was negative.

Saddened, I walked away, but, all of a sudden, I felt a gentle tug on my shirt. It was her, and she was trying to tell me something.

"You can't just walk away after kissing me! Now we have to get married."

It looked like she was crying, and I almost felt bad. But then I realized that this was a dream, so I could do whatever I want.

However, before I could take hold of her, I was pushed by a gust of wind.

"Even though I hate you, I'm going to have to drag you over to the royal castle to marry me!"

A true tragedy. Our relationship got physical a mere 5 minutes in. Suddenly, I felt what could have been a weapon strike the back of my head. I hate to admit it, but I was knocked out.

…

I woke up in the middle of an altar. I was dressed in weird clothing, but the situation was obviously a wedding. It was then that I finally realized something. This occurrence, and the things that have happened before… I'm the most creative man alive. My brain must have come up with all of these occurrences in my dreams to relieve me from the stress of my real life. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

"Are you sure you want to marry this human, Princess Grossentitten?"

"Father, you know that the wind spirits won't recognize me anymore if I refuse to marry this man."

"Very well. As much as I hate this human, I shall let the wedding proceed. High bishop, begin the ceremony."

"Yes, my king. Princess Grossentitten, do you take this human to be your lifelong companion?"

"Indeed I do."

"And you, human, do you take our fair princess to be yours?"

Everyone in the room looked at me. It makes sense though. This is a dream, so I must be the most handsome person in the room.

"Is he a mute?"

"I do not know, he has yet to say a word since I've met him."

Again, I wish my brain would just translate these words for me. How did I even come up with my own language subconsciously?

"I doubt he will have any objections. We shall assume this man agrees to this holy matrimony."

I wonder when I'll wake up. This part of the dream is getting really boring. There's a bunch of people talking gibberish, and it looks like they're all congregated around this gigantic elf with a crown on his head.

"Come with me, human. It's time for us to consummate the marriage."

I don't know what she said, but I feel like it's time to smash.