'This! This might be it!' Hands trembling, Alexander could barely turn the pages as he quickly skimmed the dusty worn-out book sitting on the table before him, 'From what I understand here,' Alex told himself, trying to sort his wildly raging thoughts, 'a lot of what everyone believes may be wrong! We've always been taught that there are four elements that everything is descended from — fire, earth, air, and water — but this makes it sound as if there's an even higher tier of authority above them!'
"If… If so," he whispered softly to himself, "then their might be answers for my problem in the higher concept!" Of course, he couldn't be certain of anything yet. After all, he'd just found and began to study the books before him; and, as some of the oldest he'd found in the library so far, it was going to take a while for him to completely comprehend them.
But it was finally a start! A tangible ray of hope, when he was just clutching at dreams and wishes before! 'If only I could take and keep notes,' Alex sighed heavily, thinking to himself, though he knew better. Books couldn't be taken from the archives, and his roommates would laugh and destroy any "frivolous junk" such as inks, quills, or papers of his. They'd just tell him something like, "Don't waste your coin on this worthless crap. Go buy some make-up, or something, to make yourself prettier — then you can get more customers and make more money! After all, that's the only way you're ever going to be able to keep going in this life with your talents."
"Not like I couldn't have found something else besides wenching to do," Alex muttered softly to himself. Even though the catacombs underneath the library were empty, except for him, Alex still couldn't bring himself to raise a complaint over anything, above a soft whisper. The last few years had shown him what would happen if he talked back, complained, or irritated the others.
Stuck in the now, Alex found it hard to try and concentrate on his studies. His mind kept rolling back over the past, and then rushing forward into both glorious daydreams and terrible nightmares about the future. What if what he found could cure his problem? What if it still couldn't? Part of him wanted to rush ahead and memorize the dozen books, or so, that he'd dug out of a cobweb filled corner. Another part was truly afraid to keep reading — afraid that he might lose the last little hope that he'd been desperately clutching on to.
"There's no need to try and study like this," Alex finally told himself, before stretching and pushing the book back towards the center of the table. Slowly sliding his chair out from behind the desk, Alex spent a moment straightening his clothes and slipping his feet back into his high heels, before slowly working his way back up out of the catacombs, towards the entrance of the library.
"Stupid skirts," he sighed silently, once again adjusting his clothes before getting ready to step out into the light of day. Everything had to be adjusted "just right", if he didn't want to be showing too much of his "goodies" to the world. The miniature white skirt was pushed down low onto his hips, to help it cover as much of his rounded bottom as possible. His top — which was really nothing more than a matching white skirt — was draped over his head like a shawl and hung limply across the top of his ample breasts. Tugging it forward several inches, Alex revealed all his pale neck and ample cleavage, but let the cloth drape as low as possible to actually cover his bosoms as much as possible.
By all outward appearances, Alex was a woman — and a beautiful, barely-covered one at that! Long hair. Delicate features. Full breasts. Rounded hips. Clad in high heels, hose, and loose fitting, barely-covering clothes. By all appearances, he was definitely a she, and she was definitely a cheap tramp!
Sighing deeply, Alex glanced over his appearance one last time to make certain everything was as good as it possibly could be, and then he finally eased out of the entrance to the library. Swaying seductively as he'd been taught, and as how had actually became second nature now, Alex slowly worked his way over to the student's mess hall.
Since the end of year exams were currently ongoing, nobody bothered him at all as he walked from one building to the next, and the cafeteria itself was still empty at this time. Being too late for breakfast, but still too early for lunch, all the workers were busy cooking in the back and no one was up front to serve any food, but Alex was accustomed to that. Given the choice, he always tried to visit the cafeteria while it was empty like this — even if he did have to serve himself.
Gathering up one of the nearby picnic baskets, which were there for the students to use, Alex spent several moments placing various meats, cheeses, and vegetables between multiple thick slices of bread. Forming a dozen sandwiches almost as big as his ample breasts, he carefully packed them all inside the basket until he couldn't squeeze room for anymore inside.
One of the few things which Alex was grateful about with the school — with the exception of the library — was that there was never a lack of food available! Cultivation and cultivators, particularly in regards to those who followed the "ever hungry path of fire", often ate many times more than what any "nobby" like Alex, could consume. All varieties of food — from the sweetest sweets to the sourest sours; from the hottest spices to the mildest melons — was always available, at all times of night and day, inside the school.
Better to let a thousand pounds of food rot and waste, than to let a single cultivator starve their talent! After all, who knows when one might have a breakthrough, or an accident, or overuse their talent, and suddenly need to replenish their vital energy? The school was always ready to fill any students stomach, at any time — and Alex took full advantage of that fact. He might not be able to eat everything himself, but that didn't mean he didn't have any use for it all.