My secretary approached me early morning to inform about the latest gossip in the building. Apparently I'm about to be a father. I was so surprised I can't contain my happiness. I'm confused too of what action I should take because I know Andrea would not want to see me. He would be screaming instantly if I show my face in front of her. But what should I do? I want to see her so bad. I want to hug her and comfort her. I want to feel the life inside of her. All those things a father should do while waiting for his baby to come out I want to experience it all with her. I ran downstairs right away to see her and tell her how I want to be part of our baby's life but as expected she doesn't want me at all. She screamed and cried to push me outside the room. I don't want to Pressure her with my presence, I just want her to know my willingness to be a father. But my love is unwelcomed there, my support is unwanted too. I have no choice but leave. I'm in pain to see her hating me this much again. I'm to my office, I can't work thinking that the mother of my child will surely hold my child against me. My tears drop down my checks. I cramped my eyes to stop it from flowing. I don't know what to do. I want to be beside her, God knows how much I want that. If only I can turn back time and undo my mistakes surely I will do that. If only I can be somebody else then surely I will do that. I dialled my phone to tell Dad about the news. I got to tell somebody about my happiness and pain, I can't carry all these baggages myself. The other line answered, I instantly told him I'm going to be a Dad. Father then told Mom then all the people on the other side rejoiced for the news. New family member is coming. Dad assured me that he will fixed his relationship with Mr. Ponti, Andrea's Dad. Besides they are still working together. Maybe they can arranged our marriage too.
Everytime I pass by Andrea's firm I just want to go inside to see her. I want to know what she feels at every stage of her pregnancy. I want to support her every time she's tired. But I lost it all for just being me. What more I haven't done? Letters, flowers, treats none of those can buy back her love to me. I'm getting hopeless. I drinked myself to sleep, I just want the day to move faster than it should. It made me question myself why is time moving so slow when my mood is down? On the contrary, it moves so fast when I'm happy. Can somebody explain this to me?
I'm in my room right now, this is the same room I have since I was a kid. This is the same room where that mistake happened. I should have not done that. I'm so impatient to get her, now I can never have her. I felt my blanket, how I wish this blanket was Andrea's arm wrapping me. I feel empty, I hate myself. I am nothing without my father's money. Come to think of it, my father bought everything for me, even my high school diploma. I'm sure I won't graduate that year but Daddy is always to the rescue. If he can buy Andrea for me he will.