"Decoding doesn't necessarily refer only to IT"
Do you really hear birds in the morning or is it just the small chatter between your mom and dad that kind of makes you think it's birds chirping? It's not every day that you actually wake up to birds singing at your window sill, wouldn't that be a perfect Cinderella opening?
The ringing from outside draws her out of her loom, from the dark caves of her comfort with her beast. She always found solitude at the window bench, it made her feel warm and it was the only comfort that she was sure of, one she knew was permanent. It always made her morning even when sometimes she didn't have a reason to wake up, struggling to find the motivation but that shouldn't stop her from living, right?
'Right', she hums to herself.
The breeze from the open window brings her attention to her mother's broken scent and she refrains from rolling her eyes at the sound of her mother's footsteps nearing her door. She was already dreading the lecture she was about to get.
'I told you about your sleeping habits, you didn't even take your medication. You know how much you need them,' her mother's voice filled her head.
The sound of the door opening beckons her to begin the sunny day. She walks across the cold floorboards her bare feet making soft prints as her mother's boots contrast the sound.
"How many times do I have to tell you about your sleeping habits," Alanis imagines her mother with her hands on her hips as she graces her eyes over her neat bed in irritation as if knowing her daughter never slept in it, "I mean did you even take your medication. I can't keep reminding you, you're the one who's sick not me," she reprimands her daughter.
Alanis blatantly stares at the clothes in her closet. Her mother's demands and shouts falling on deaf ears, everything around her continues to go on a blank streak and her body falls comatose.
"Do you even care?" Alanis scoffs at the question and she lets the question echo in the air, in the world. She didn't want to start an argument with her mother on something she knew her mother wouldn't understand.
She returns from her world and walks out of the closet finding her mother standing at the foot of the bed, her eyes narrowed and expecting from the young ones in the room. Her mother's black hair is tied in a bun while some strands stray from the socket, her cheeks puffed from all the anger she has pent inside or it would be because she had natural chubby cheeks.
Alanis could never tell.
Alanis could feel her mother's brown orbs following her movements as she wore her dirty vans, and as she attempts to grab her hoodie it's ripped from her grasp, "Why?, Why do you always have to make things harder for me".
The girl stares at the grey hoodie in her hands nonchalantly, not bothering to answer her mother's questions. Her gaze shifts from her mother pale hands to the sun shining through the window. Sometimes she feels like she could scream at her mother, shove her away and just watch as she recovers from shock before letting her caged anger take over and kill her.
"Then who would watch the sunrise every morning?" she asked out loud to no one in particular.
Her mother realizing her daughter was never going to give her the answer she wanted so she reluctantly gives her back the hoodie, who takes it before shoving it in her bag and leaving the room. Leaving her mother to grunt to herself as her eyes gaze over the room, trying to find something that would make her understand her daughter better.
Landing on the main floor, her eyes faze over the double doors that she hasn't entered ever since he left. Recalling the events that took place in them before walking past them and heading straight for the fridge. Grabbing some grapes and leftover spaghetti with bottled water she grabs an apple for breakfast before heading to the front door, "Bye mom, see you tonight or not".
She doesn't wait for her mother's reply already knowing she would get another lecture. She understood the relationship between her and her mother would always be like the teacher and the student. The student that keeps messing up and the teacher that always scolds her whenever she does something wrong and she knew she wasn't passing the class.
Leaving the house, she's hit with the soft breeze and smell of fresh grass and the small sounds around her. She walks past her neighbour's house finding it odd that he wasn't washing his driveway in the morning sunlight. She knew Mr Edgar was always chippy and ready to give advice and tell her about a story about the late Mrs Edgar or how she would quote something when he thinks she needs it. It would make her smile before saying thank you and promising to visit before walking down the path.
She was worried because he was a punctual man. She couldn't help but think maybe she was the one who was early as she was trying to leaving the house faster today wanting to avoid any more encounters with her mother. She waited for some minutes, waiting for his garage doors to open and see her before smiling while calling her over and wishing her a very good morning but that didn't happen.
'Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it', His voice filled her head, he would always say that but she only really understood it now.
Clutching onto the strap of her bag her shoulders sag as she walks to school. Arriving thirty minutes before school started wasn't always her forte. Her talks with Mr Edgar would pass time and she'd often be late for school but now not knowing what to do she climbed the nearest tree and sat there looking down on everyone.
Feeling the pain in her chest grow and echo in her body, she gushed and her hand instinctively clenched her sweater, as her hand turned into a fist and her head all of a sudden felt heavy. Her breathing gets laboured, and her shoulder feels tense as if the pain in the chest now drifted to her shoulders and tears threatened to show.
She lays against the tree branch trying to collect her breath and calm her erratic heartbeat. She focuses on the black sleek Mercedes that comes rolling in and how the crowd forms around it.
She watches his body smoothly exit her car, how he runs his finger through his brown frenzy hair, his football jersey screaming for attention under the new Zara jacket. His smile catching the attention of hundreds or maybe it was the new Gucci belt wrapped around his waist.
She always wondered if they would still be there if they found out about his secret. If they found out his family buys him the gadgets in a way to shut him up from telling the world of his sexuality. How they buy his silence, a prisoner in his own home.
Would they stick around? Would he still be respected? would he still be Alpha?
But would he even tell them? Would the great Zachery Black tell his football friends or valedictorian girlfriend that he prefers the other team? Alanis considered his girlfriend understanding but considered his friends as shallow and greedy. Forgetting about Zac and his life her eyes spot onto another life in the far corner landing on a certain brunette, the queen. She scoffed rolling her eyes at society's roles in life.
She recalls the conversation she used to have with her mother when she was young about bullies. How her mother always told her that bullies were made because they had problems at home and they took them out on the world.
And sometimes my mother thinks she's young but that doesn't mean she's right, she mocks.
Alanis couldn't find one flaw in the queen's life, she had loving parents, her father was the pack's lawyer and her mother was one of the pack doctors. Her parents adored her, gave her attention when she demanded it and all she had to do was name what she wanted and they gave it to her. And yet it irked her that her mother's words seemed to be stuck on a tape recorder in her head, trying to find how the bully she sees before her eyes was made.
Nina smiles as her Porsche runs over Timmy Night's bag. The poor guy tries to stop her but she runs over it again almost running over him in the process. Alanis ends up rolling her eyes at the girls' antics.
The bell rings disturbing the school drama and she watches as everyone scatters to the doors. The loud noises now dimming to whispers and she drops from the tree steadying herself for a moment before taking off. She thanked the goddess that all that decoding eased her mind of the pain and didn't even notice when it finally went away.