ETHAN......
My eyes are wide open, I feel my kneels melt to my shock and my feet's giving up on gravity, as I support myself against the door frame and tears run down my cheeks without a sound leaving my lips.
I force myself forward to where mum's lifeless body lay. I fall on my kneels and stretch my left hand over her body before letting out my roar in pain.
"Mum!!.."
"I'm not ready to let you go yet...."
"There's a lot I still need you for mum, just a lot I need to learn from you. All the truth!!!"
"You didn't even fucking say good bye" I cuss in agony. I notice aunt Steph lying on mum's feet and crying. I should be strong for her, I know I should. But how can I if I can't even support myself.
I try to put my act together and act strong, I stand and get hold of my aunt. I take her into my arms and squeeze on her collar bone. I'm the only person in the world she can lean on for support right now. We just stay here like this, nobody saying a word. Doctor Mark has been standing by us sympathetically all this whole.
"Please accept my deepest condolences Ethan"
"You don't fucking get to tell me that. If you really wanted to, you would have kept her alive" Everyone in the room was taken aback with shock with what I just said to Doctor Mark. I know how selfish and stupid I sounded but I'm hurt, somebody has to bend a knee for it. I know he hadn't the power to safe her life but I still said what I said and I can't take it back.
Right now I'm letting the anger and hurt of loosing my mum get the better of me, I know l look evil right now but I don't care. I turn my head towards the door way and I see Ariya, she just arrived. She's as shocked as fuck, I can read every inch of that on her face. I let aunt sit on the couch as Ariya hurries into my arms. She buries her face in my neck and I can feel something warm on the skin of my neck.
Fuck!! She's crying too.
I just hold her in my arms. I know she liked Mum so I know she must be hurting really bad too. I completely shot out my tears to keep them from revealing themselves. These two women need me to be strong.
ARIYA....
I've never suffered a loss in my entire life so I can't possibly feel or know how Ethan's feeling right now, but I just gotta be there for him.
I help out in making all necessary arrangements for aunt Su to be buried tomorrow. I wish I had some sort of supper powers to just hug him and take away all of the pain he is feeling right now. As we moved down the corridor, many nurses passing by shot him sympathetic glances. I could feel his being uncomfortable.
I call Larry one of our drivers to come take my ride home. I tell him what to tell my mum. I'm going with Ethan, I don't care how much he might try to refuse.
It's amazing how attached I feel to Ethan for such an undefined time I've known him. This month makes it a year since the day I first saw him. All I know is, I care already too much to go back now. We walk to his car.
"You coming with me right?"
I open my mouth in surprise, I mean I expected him to try driving me away right?. It takes me some few seconds before I finally get off my shock and answer.
"Yeah .... sure.." I smile sympathetically no matter how I try to make the smile not to look that way.
"I mean, I really need a friend right now" I guess he noticed or realized he was too straight with the "you coming with me right ?" Thing and he's trying to defend himself. Why does he like being hard?
"I know Ethan, I wanna be there when you get drunk to make sure you get home safe". I know he's heading straight to his favorite bar. I learnt he's the kind of person who drowns his sorrow in whisky.
"Thank you" He admits before pressing the unlock bottom on his car remote and opening the door for me to get in. It's been a while. Now this is what I'm used to.I smile a bit.
"Thank you." I smile before getting in. He gets in too and drive off. Just like I thought, he stops in front of that same bar. Atleast he should have changed places, the people here didn't like him much the last time yknow.
The bar tender shoots us a weird look when we enter. Of course I know he remembers us. We take seats at the counter, again.
"Good evening sir, ma'am. What can I offer you?" He asked politely.
"Give me a bottle of vodka" I look at Ethan with a worried grin before looking back at the bar tender.
"Get me a cider please". Soon enough the guy in black behind the bar brings a bottle of vodka and a shots glass for Ethan. Ethan shoves the shots glass away.
"Open this please" so now he's reminding the bar tender of his job. Great. I'm thinking I just might be unable to carry him out today. Immediately it's opened, he takes the bottle directly to his mouth and take in a quantity before putting it down and I worry more.
"Erm Ethan you know how fast you gonna get drunk if you continue drinking it at the pace you taking right?." He doesn't answer nor even look at me. He takes a slice of lemon and squeeze between his teeth before shoving the remains into the plate. People are dancing at the center and every corner. Others were kissing and displaying in public eww. I'm trying to distract myself a little to shift my attention from Ethan.
My eyes fall on a girl at the right corner of the bar. She's in very short skirts and a crop of bra length. She gets on the legs of the man she's sitting with and soon enough I notice she's moving up and down slowly. Immediately, I face palm myself and look away.Gosh they should get a room, public display is so irresponsible but then some people just don't care.
Turning my attention to Ethan, he had drank more than half the bottle of vodka already. He drops the bottle on the counter this time too hard and it makes a startling noice.
"Ethan?" I call but he doesn't answer, a drop of tear runs down his right cheek.