My life felt empty. I was in my Sophomore year of college and I still don't know what I wanted to do with my life.
I was studying biology, but I know that there are hardly any jobs you can get with a biology degree. Of course, there are some, but my grades consisting of c's and d's would have me begging for a job taking passes at one of the dilapidated national parks.
While it may sound like a good job it pays barely enough to have me survive till 30 where I'll be crushed under hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt.
My parents put some money away for me but after they died and I went to live with my uncle he was somehow able to take all of it out. This left me with nothing. I still had to work for my food the only thing he provided was a roof.
Still, I went to college because my parents would have wanted me to. I liked biology getting here and it's my best class. Still, It didn't matter I'm just gonna end it today.
-Plye Virsh 4/15/35
"I wonder if the cleaning ladies will like my farewell card"
I smiled at my own shitty joke feeling a euphoric surge from all the Advil I took and took a step off the bridge plummeting as the air rushed past. I took an impact when my leg hit first but it was less than a second of white-hot pain before everything went black.
My surroundings were still dark and all my senses were numb except for my sense of touch which wasn't feeling pain but something that was somehow worse.
I've never felt claustrophobic and I even enjoyed wrapping myself in a blanket to feel comfortable.
This was nothing like that. It felt like my circulation was being cut off all over my body everywhere I could feel was being constricted violently.
I tried desperately to move and or breathe but my lungs didn't even work filling with fluid. I desperately wanted to get out.
Then I felt an additional contraction and I felt that I moved and my lungs could work I started heaving air in and out, breathing. I didn't have my sight but I could feel that I was in a body but one that was definitely not human.
I had 4 legs for sure and my sense of smell was assaulting my mind, and I couldn't process any of it. The 4 legs were weird but also natural in a strange type of way. I must've just experienced birth or something? from an animal too?
I couldn't hear a thing either, it was impossible to do much. I could move slightly but only a little bit. I sat there for something like 15 minutes before I was picked up by my "mother" and led to suckle. I knew I needed nutrients so I kept sucking even though I found it weird. Despite my suicide less than an hour ago I didn't want to die from malnutrition although I had to admit that was mostly from the curiosity I held to this world.
I spent something like a week working on how to process my overwhelming sense of smell learning to eat as much of the food brought back by my father even if it tasted kinda disgusting.
After 2 more I could now see and hear. It was clear now I was a fox. Weirdly though I was not a normal fox. My father had 3 tails, one was for warmth and the other 2 were prehensile and he used them to move stuff. All 3 were about half the length of his body. My mother was the same. This means that I am either living as a fox under Chernobyl or that I'm not on Earth at all. Somehow I don't buy the Chernobyl story may animals growing something useful due to radiation and then having kids on top of that? Unlikely at best.
One month in and my efforts to eat more than my other siblings were paying off. I was at least 40% bigger than the next biggest one. We also began to venture out of the den. It was early spring and although my nose felt cold I was warm otherwise with my coat and tail growing longer fur.
Spending a month eating the strange rats, rabbits, bugs, and berries that my father brought home got me used to the taste and the bad taste seemed to be different for foxes so they never tasted that bad to me. The other animals were also weird the bunnies looked slightly more like kangaroos with large hind legs the mice and rats looked mostly similar though. Later I tried catching a small mouse but it seemed to gain a burst of speed and run away. It was definitely a weird occurrence. In this weird world, magic wasn't out of the question entirely but how would a mouse learn it? I didn't want to chase it too far from my den so I let it go. This world was pretty unfamiliar after all and could be dangerous.
After a few weeks of growing and practicing my hunting and foraging, I followed my dad on a hunt. We walked a couple of miles before something strange happened. He disappeared, quite literally too he was walking and after walking into the shadow of the forest he disappeared in front of my eyes. After a few seconds, he reappeared and did it again looking at me expectantly. I walked to the same place and nothing happened. He continued looking at me and I focused on trying to make myself hidden. I felt myself sink into the darkness. It was like I became part of the trees' shadow It was a mind-boggling experience. It was clearly some type of magic that allowed me to hide in shadows. My father looked impressed.
This made me remember that these animals are actually pretty smart my dad was somewhere between a chimpanzee and a regular fox in intelligence. Not human level but displayed more complex emotions than I would expect.
After that, we went back to the den.
After another month I was getting better at hunting mice and even dug a hill in an area that slowed them down so I was able to catch them easier and even used my shadow hiding skills to kill 2 Rabbits.
I then saw something weird. My mow used Ice claws to hunt for things. I saw this and tried to copy it. I couldn't do it and didn't get it as intuitively as shadows but I shouldn't give up that easy. I went to the nearest stream walked up to the water and dipped my right tail in. I focused on trying to freeze the water. I succeeded in making an ice cube that was a bit pointy on the end. I need water while my mom definitely didn't.
The best explanation is that she has a higher level of magic than me which somehow allows her to summon ice.
It was then that I heard footfalls of a large 4 legged animal running up on me from behind. I darted away as fast as I could North in the direction of the nearby forest when an earth wall blocked my path. Looking back I saw that it was a bear who created a wall in the way I wanted to go. I could climb it if I really tried but it was too risky and would take too long. I ran in the opposite direction. the bear chasing me as fast as he could. I could definitely accelerate faster and turn faster but he would slowly catch up in the open field we're in. There were some rocky outcroppings to my left that also led away from my family's den. As I approached the out-croppings the Bear got closer and closer.
I dove between 2 boulders and continued running full tilt even though the bear definitely couldn't get through. I was terrified. This was the closest I'd ever come to getting killed as a fox actually period. It's kinda funny that I was even worried about being killed though, after committing suicide not all that long ago I shouldn't really grasp this life that tightly. I kept running away from the bear though. Running harder away from the pain behind me.
For now, it doesn't matter I made my way back to the den I called home.