*Okie, from chapter 15, I might take a break from this book because I've become quite a bit obsessive with it and focus more on Fire and Ice. If y'all wanna tell me sumn, text me on my gmail: ojegift99@gmail.com or on facebook: Asta kun. Love you >.<*
*
Mel (because he's my baby)
I scrub at my hands, wishing I was doing something worthy of keeping me busy, maybe cooking....
But the idea of food is making me feel like throwing up.
As Cream talks to Ber, his voice still very low and understanding, asking why he did what he did before Coco steps into the room, his face pale.
I gulp.
"What did you do to her you asshole?!" He snaps.
Ber turns to him, his face trying to mask something, if he was sorry or possibly still irritated that Vanilla...
Vanilla.....
She probably hates me now.
Hates all of US.
Coco suddenly grabs unto his shirt "Answer me you prick!"
Ber looks like he wants to push Coco off and the idea of it makes me cuddle myself.
I don't want to see.
I don't want to.....
"Boys"
Like that, the whole lounge room is quiet as Mistress walks in.
Her hair is still gelled and packed, but her shirt has a few buttons of it off and it's squeezed to chaos, with some parts wet and a sad look on face.
Mistress....
"She's sleeping" She says "But we all have to talk"
Talk?
My heart pounds a bit.
Had she found out what Ber did in school?
Did she know I didn't do anything to stop it?
That none of us did?
But she doesn't say anything except "After dinner"
Di.... Dinner?
But I didn't cook.....
"Alex did" She replies as if she hears my thoughts "Since all of you seemed indisposed at the moment"
"I'm not hun...."
"After dinner" She replies, her voice still soft but firm as she cuts off Ber who looks away.
Then she faces Chocolate "Calm down"
He looks red at first until he begins to calm at her words and then sighs "I'd shower and be out for dinner"
Then he's off.
She faces Cream "Are you okay?"
His face, as always, is still void of any single emotion as he replies "Yes, of course"
"You're talking to me Cream"
He seems to open his mouth and say something but as he does so, nothing comes out and he closes then again, pursing his lips.
Then her eyes fall on me.
I want to sit up and say I'm fine too when she asks.
Because I don't want anyone worrying about me.
I want to see Vanilla.
She's the one I'm worried about.
But Mistress doesn't ask.
She walks to me, and I instinctively curl up and try to look away but when she reaches me, she rests her head on mine, her hand curling around mine as she says "I love you Caramel"
And that let's the tears come out.
They over pour just by her words but she doesn't tell me to stop.
When we all are at the table, it's quiet, and no one's saying anything.
Coco is staring daggers at Ber.
Cream is staring at his plate.
Ber is poking his food.
I....
I am staring at my plate, the cereal staring at me back as a memory hits me.
'Its cold' I say to the person as she passes me my food through the space under the door.
'You complain a lot for a boy that shouldn't even be alive'
I gulp, as bile rises from my throat but I push it down.
If I don't eat, the doctor would come again and say something that would make Mama and Papa mad and I can't afford....
I shake the memory, taking a spoon of the cereal and putting it into my mouth.
Just chew Mel.
That's all you have to.
I do so, bile rising again but I shove it down.
Eat Caramel, don't make anyone worry about you.
There's already so much going on, you don't have to be worried about.
You were locked up because no one wanted you.
So be fine.
You can do it.
You've done it.
Don't make anyone worry.
"Mel?" I hear Coco say "Are you okay?"
Are you okay....
I remember Ber slamming Vanilla ok the wall, her wet scared eyes falling on mine and me looking away...
"Mel...."
I suddenly jerk from my seat, my mouth over my mouth as I run up the stairs.
Don't vomit.
Hood oh.
When I reach my room, I run into the bathroom and vomit it out.
The image comes again and I know I have to make sure it's all out.
So I put a finger in and retch one more time.
'You don't deserve this food. You shouldn't be alive'
'How can you even eat after what happened to Nilla?'
I hold into the toilet, violently retching so I can cleanse myself one more time before I stop, feeling dizzy.
There's a knock on my door and my heart jumps thinking it's Mistress until I hear the monotone voice say "Can I come in Mel?"
"No"
My throat feels strangled as I do so and I blink back tears.
It hurts...
My tummy hurts....
I don't hear the knocking again and I stand, hoping he's gone before I wash my face and flush the toilet then letting the tub get filled with warm water.
I need to bath.
I feel so dirty.
As I open my door, I see Cream lying on the bed, my favourite book, Alice in wonderland in his hand as he stares it before looking up at me and saying "Will you read to me?"
He has removed all his clothes now, and his naked, as he usually always was when I find myself nodding "I... I want to use the bathtub anyway...."
"I'd join you then" He says, now sitting up.
I look away so I don't see anything, even though I have, even though it's now natural to me as I walk back into the bathroom and strip off, sliding in.
Some moments later, he joins in, the book still in his hand.
When he is sitted opposite me, he reaches out for me and pulls me towards his body, my back on his chest and though I feel something poking me, i don't say anything "Read"
I do so.
Hearing my voice begins to calm me down and as I read, Cream is rubbing soap all over my back, through my shoulders, down....
Like he's massaging.
I feel my body react too as I stop reading and let out a moan.
He stops "Are you okay?"
I bite into my lips and squeak "No"
"Wanna talk about it?"
His hand goes down, and I bite into my lips more as he is suddenly holding me, his slippery hands now going up and own.
"Ah...."
He's at my ear now, and he whispers "Should I stop?"
But he's going faster, not even giving me a chance to think as I rest back on him, opening my leg rider as I feel myself push more into his boner.
He growls now, pushing himself into me and rubbing on my slippery back.
I suddenly grab unto his hair, pushing him more into me as I turn and kiss him.
He kisses me back with force, licking the lip that I had been biting, and I moan into his mouth, jerking until I feel myself cum.
And so does he, all over my back.
Then I begin to cry.
He says nothing, turning on the shower and letting the one in the bathtub go as he cleans me again, and himself.
When he's done, he wraps me up in a towel and cleans himself but carries me back naked to the bed.
When he lays me down, he lies next to me and stares at me.
We both stare at each other for a while till he says "You never ended up reaching chapter 3"
I chuckle there and he reaches out for my hair, playing with it "When you're not okay, you have to say it. Please Caramel, we can worry about you, because we want you, because we love you"
I curl more around the bed "And you too"
"Me?"
"Your face is always so blank that we can't read it" I say "Do you smile or laugh?"
"Yes"
"Has anyone seen you doing that?"
"Mistress has, and Ber and Vanilla"
"But I haven't..."
"Mel"
He suddenly pulls me to his body, my back still on his chest as he says "Mistress likes seeing it so sometimes she asks it of me, with Ber, we both know his emotions are all haywire so I show it to him to reassure him that I'm fine or I love him, Vanilla is new, she wouldn't have understood.... But you and Coco.... You both don't need reassurance, or ask or don't understand.... You just take me as it is without asking why, but if you really want to see it, turn"
I do so, slowly and there's a smile on his face.
My heart races immediately as if he's suddenly shining with a halo over his head before he kisses my nose and say "I love you Mel"
"I love you too Cream"