:: Quinn POV ::
I never realized how low the floor was compared to the ceiling. From where I was laying, no matter how much I stretched, my arms would never reach high enough.
I felt fresh tears stream down my face. I don't know how long I've been crying but it's amazing how much more I still have left to shed. Bottomless… Is this how it feels like to fall into an abyss?
I turned to my side, my eyes locked on the shards of glass and scattered petals on the floor. What used to be beautiful now looked pitiful, shattered and crushed in a span of a few breaths. It didn't do anything wrong, it was only existing. Situated at the wrong place at the wrong time. The circumstance was too cruel and unfortunately, it got caught in the fray.
I sobbed and crawled towards the ruined flowers. I slowly picked up what remained of the once colorful blooms, ignoring the sharp shards of the glass biting and scratching my skin. Right now, I'd gladly trade the pain I'm feeling in my heart for any kind of physical pain.
I looked at the broken flowers in my hands and my thoughts reverted back to Raziel. It had been so easy for him to ruin something beautiful.
"You disgust me…" I flinched at the thought as the echo of his voice resonated in my ears. These were his parting words to me.
I knew Raziel would be furious but I never expected him to be close to murderous. Syrath warned me about his temper and many times he told me that Raziel cannot control it. But I never thought Raziel could truly be angry, not like that.
I lightly traced the cut in my arm. The wound was still fresh, fortunately it stopped bleeding. I have to remember not to anger a dragon, the next time I encounter one. They have seriously foul tempers!
I chuckled at the thought and a moment later, the chuckle turned into a pitiful sob.
Raziel has every right to be angry. The truth shouldn't have been kept a secret, not from him. I shouldn't have mated with him when he was in a trance and wasn't fully aware of what he was doing. But what else could I do? How was I supposed to stop? I loved him too much to say no.
At first, I could still hold back my feelings. My needs and wants could be easily suppressed. We mostly spent our time talking, just staying together. Though it was mostly me asking questions and tirelessly talking to him while Raziel mumbles and nods, it was gratifying. Our conversations were simple and crude but they were the most meaningful to me. We would fall asleep holding each other and by dawn, Syrath would come to take him home.
During the years we've been together, I've never set foot in Raziel's house. I thought it best to keep myself out of his personal space. And I've done all I could to keep myself from seeking him out whenever I had the desire to.
Keeping Raziel in the dark about his odd behavior wasn't something I enjoyed doing. And when our meetings became more physical, the guilt I felt grew worse. I was wrong for accepting Raziel in that state but I didn't know how to stop him and I wasn't sure I wanted him to stop.
I was caught unaware, at some point I was in too deep. I loved Raziel more with each passing day and I was desperate to hold onto anything I could. As I prepared for the day when he would leave me, I deluded myself into thinking it was alright. I've been selfish, thoughtless and reckless. But at that time, it was the only course that felt right.
When Syrath and Orion couldn't decide whether to tell Raziel about the mating call and his block outs, I took the decision onto myself. I told them it would be safer for Raziel if we kept the whole thing from him, at least for the time being.
I wasn't thinking of anything bold like having him all to myself or blackmailing him after the fact. It was because I knew Raziel would choose to reject the mating call once he became aware of it. Something inside me knows that even though Raziel wants me, he would reject me. This is probably the reason why he would come to me in the muddled state he's in.
I was terrified, of course. Raziel is my fated mate. If Orion is correct, the mating call emanating from me was meant only for him. I would, probably, never radiate such a call again or resonate with another being like I do with him.
But instead of Raziel's eventual rejection, I was more afraid of what would happen to him if we suddenly told him I was his mate. That what he was feeling and chasing, all this time, was the resonance of the mating call.
Raziel wouldn't care that the rejection would affect him in the worst possible way. And that thought, alone, scares me. I don't know how I am able to send out the mating call, to a Dragon Lord no less, so I cannot stop it even if I wanted to.
I've only known Raziel only for a short while but I have a sinking feeling that the truth would crush something inside him. Once Raziel rejects me, he would lose something essential and he would never be the same again.
Raziel is a dragon, a proud Dragon Lord. When Syrath told me that Raziel plunged into a depression when the resonance was cut off after I entered the protective barrier surrounding Saints' Isle, I got scared. I didn't want him to go through that again. Depression, to a dragon, could be dangerous if not deadly.
Orion and Syrath opposed my decision. They asked me to reconsider. They believed that when the time comes and Raziel finds out the truth, he would most certainly reject me just for keeping the truth from him. There would be no reasoning with him, after the fact. And there would never be a possibility for us to be together.
But regardless of what I choose, Raziel would end up hating me. So I decided to choose the path that would hurt him less. I was fine with Raziel despising me. I would rather be in pain than risk having him unconsciously hurt himself. I would rather suffer than watch Raziel self-destruct.
Still, how long until these awful feelings disappear? I only fell in love. All I ever wanted was to protect him, to care for him. But now, even those feelings are not allowed. Raziel finds me and what we had, utterly disgusting!
I wasn't prepared to see that sort of expression on his face. The barely suppressed rage, the disappointment and the pain. I betrayed him. After all that happened, I think I'm lucky to walk away with my body intact. Raziel could have torn me into shreds, out of rage for what I did to him. But he didn't. In the end, Raziel showed me mercy.
Orion came but I couldn't properly register his arrival nor function normally when he visited. He was patient and kind, as always, and told me to take my time and not to worry about anything. Orion advised me to focus on recuperating and healing, in feeling better.
Surprisingly, Syrath also came to check on how I was faring. He tried to give me hope. He and Orion did their best to reassure me. But for all their kind words and gentle treatment, they could not console me. No one could. Only Raziel has the power to do that and he would not come, never again.
I lost the most important person in my life, the only person I allowed myself to love after everything I've been through. There would be no consolation, not for me and not for a very long time after all this is done.
I need to leave. I have to leave Saints' Isle while I still have the strength to do so. I could do it if I wanted to. Saints' Isle is the safest place for me to live in but it isn't the only place I could stay. I haven't encountered those people who were hunting me down for years. Whoever they were, they must have given up the chase.
I cannot stay in Saints' Isle knowing that Raziel is close by and I cannot be with him. I can run away from Raziel. I can run away from the pain of loving him.
The world is big. There are a million places I could disappear to without anyone finding out where I am. I can start over, recreate myself. I could try to forget. Because if I stay here, near him, I'd break.
:: Raziel POV ::
I'm annoyed and I don't know why. No. Fuck that! I do know why but why? Now that I got what I want, why do I feel more restless and confused?
It's been a week since the incident at Quinn's house. I haven't seen or spoken to her since. Syrath's been unusually quiet about anything concerning Quinn. I know he's been visiting her, every day, for the past week. But every time I try to ask how she is, Syrath would just cock an eyebrow at me and change the subject. He refused to answer my questions no matter how I asked. It's maddening!
After I calmed down, I realized what a damn fool I've been. I did and said things to Quinn that she didn't deserve. I wouldn't be surprised if she resented me after all the crap I put her through. I'm ashamed to admit it but I don't have the courage to face her, at least not at the moment.
Last night, the resonance that had been radiating from Quinn disappeared. I don't know how it happened but I felt it lift. Everything inside me, that's been clawing and screaming to go to her, suddenly quieted down. I don't know whether to be relieved or worried.
I thought I was set to ignore the mating call. I believed that nothing we did or had between us could be considered binding. But despite my firm resolve, I still find myself thinking and worrying about Quinn.
This development is what I wanted, what I was aiming for. But when the resonance got cut off, I panicked. And before I realized what I was doing, I was at the club furtively waiting for Quinn to show up.
Being a dragon gives me an edge in certain situations. My senses are keener than a regular human or even than most supernatural beings. Dragon's senses are naturally heightened, especially our sense of sight and sound. I'm able to hear every conversation circling around the room and easily notice small details. It's one of the reasons why I don't enjoy crowded places. You often see or hear conversations you'd rather not witness.
I was about to tune out the chaos when I heard a particular conversation that got my undivided attention.
"Hey, have you heard? Quinn got attacked last night." I stiffened as I listened for more information.
"Yeah, I heard. They said it was serious and for some reason, Quinn couldn't use magic. Fortunately, one of the twins happened upon the incident and saved Quinn from the attackers."
"That's really dangerous! But in Quinn's line of work she would come across people who would want to harm her sooner or later. But to go after her in the open like that…"
I couldn't wait for more details. I was out of my chair and away from the table in record time. I rushed through the length of the club and down the corridor towards the back, where Quinn's office was situated. But once there, I hesitated to go further.
"Orion told you to stay home," a familiar voice sounded from inside the office. It was Syrath. I paused outside and muted my presence.
Why is my brother here? From their conversation, Syrath seems to know the particulars about the attack on Quinn. He was probably here when it happened. Why didn't he tell me?
"I'm fine." Quinn responded.
"You were physically assaulted and couldn't use magic to defend yourself. It's pure luck Seth went out to throw the trash. Who knows what could have happened to you if someone didn't arrive in time!"
I know that tone in Syraths's voice. But it's usually reserved for people who he cares deeply for. What does that mean? Who is Quinn to my brother?
"You know something, don't you. Who attacked you and why? You're not deeply affected because you knew it was coming." Syrath continued.
I clenched and unclenched my fists trying to loosen the tension in my body. Syrath's been fluttering around Quinn lately. It's like whenever my brother has free time he spends it with Quinn. I don't control my brother's life and after everything I've done, I have no say on Quinn's life either. But the thought of the two of them together is enough for me to torch the whole island!
I didn't bother to knock. I opened the door and walked in the room. Syrath was standing not far from Quinn, his hand resting on Quinn's shoulder.
Quinn visibly paled when she saw me enter. She eyed me cautiously. Her eyes followed to where my eyes were fixed, my brother's hand still fucking resting on her shoulder, and paled further.
I love my brother. Syrath's the only family I have left in the world. But if he doesn't remove his stinky claws off Quinn's shoulder, I would rip his arm from its socket!
"I heard you got attacked." I grounded out addressing Quinn, closing the door firmly behind me. Syrath turned to raise a questioning brow at me but didn't say anything.
Quinn has a nasty cut on her forehead. She's sporting an awful bruise on her jaw and faint marks on her neck. Her right hand was bandaged and from the way she's standing, she was clearly favoring her left leg.
I know I'm a bastard and after what I've done to Quinn I have no right to intervene. But the visible marks and bruises on her body caused my blood to boil. Seeing what those bastards did to her made me feel the need to kill someone.
My body shook from the force of my anger. I could feel flames rising on my throat. I want to hunt them down and make them suffer. The same way she suffered, perhaps more. No one hurts what's mine and gets away with it. No one!
"I'm fine. Everyone's making a fuss but it's nothing but minor injuries." Quinn answered, turning away to hide behind the desk. "It was a random attack. I'm glad it's me and not one of the clients of the club."
I gritted my teeth trying hard not to comment or say anything about that last statement. Only a fool would believe that.
Oh, she's serious about the bullshit about how it's better that the attack happened to her instead of anyone else. My stomach churns at the thought that she actually believes that crap. Because I, personally, would like that shit to happen to anyone other than her!
Yes, after everything, I have no fucking right to say such things. But who cares? I'll keep saying it. Although we're not fully mated, I can't stop worrying about Quinn. We already established that I am a fucking bastard so I can say and think whatever I please.
I don't believe the incident was a random attack. Quinn may act like it but she's definitely not fine after that incident.
The Playground is one of the most popular clubs in Saints' Isle. It caters to high-class clientele. Perhaps outside the bar premises is a leveled and open field for unwanted visitors. But Orion employs only the best security team Saints' Isle has to offer. The security of the club, inside and outside, is tight. To be able to hurt Quinn, who happened to be the manager of the club, is a feat of professionals.
Someone sent those people after Quinn and she knows it. I don't know why, exactly, but I'm going to find out. Syrath seems to be thinking the same because when he looked at me I saw the same worry and fear I was feeling mirrored in his eyes.
"You're not fine. You've had a very tough week." My brother sure pulls no punches. That was a stab directed at me. "You should be resting, Quinn. What's so important that you had to come to work?"
"I want to finish the paperworks I've been neglecting," Quinn shrugged, obviously lying. "I need to review the books and make sure they're up to date."
Quinn is the most efficient and diligent worker I know. The reason why I'm sure she's lying about the books. We have our differences and we might be on each other's throats most of the time but I know how hard Quinn works for the club.
Quinn wouldn't have paperwork piled up, at least not as much as she would like us to believe. Quinn would only be obsessing about the books if she was thinking of turning them over. Which means Quinn isn't working to catch up on work. She's working ahead of schedule because she's thinking of running away. Damn it!
"You're leaving." It wasn't a question because I already knew the answer. She revealed as much. But it had to be said, nonetheless. Quinn should know she could never fool me. Not again.
Quinn looked at me. Our eyes met, held, then she guiltily turned away. She didn't bother to reply and she didn't need to. I know I'm right. Quinn didn't deny it because she can't. Her silence is proof enough. Now, it's fact and true.
"Why?" Syrath asked the question I didn't have the courage to ask.
I have an idea as to why Quinn suddenly decided to leave or who forced her to make such a hasty decision. I wanted her to say it or maybe a part of me wanted Quinn to deny it.
But Quinn remained silent. She didn't look at me or my brother. She didn't say anything but I know what I have to do in order to make her stay.
"I'll leave," I decided.
I don't have anything tying to Saints' Isle. I only came to discover the particulars of the resonance. Now that I've shattered all hope on that score, I have no reason to stay. It's better for me to leave and for Quinn to stay. She has friends here, a life.
It's a big world out there. Quinn could easily get lost amongst the crowd. I'd rather leave knowing she'd be here, secured within the protective barrier of Saints' Isle. I can't have Quinn disappear somewhere that I don't know or go to a place where I wouldn't be able to follow.
It's obvious that Quinn is trying to run away from me. And when a woman like Quinn is possessed to do something, she'd go as far as hell to see it through. And I'd be damned if I allowed her to do whatever she wants.
Quinn can cut me off and tell me to stay away from her. She could hate me, condemn me to hell for all I care. But she would do all of that while staying on the island. I want to know where she is. Quinn can't just disappear. I won't let her run away. Never!