Alex pov: Present Day
I did miss her, she was my everything but like all good things it had to come to an end and I never forgave myself for the guilt that I had done to her.
I managed to get up in a sitting position which hurt like hell. Everything started to come back to me. I told Nick why he cared so much, no one had ever before my Dolly so I was interested as to why he suddenly cared as much as her. After that, I think I passed out and Nick started to take care of me. I also remember us kissing, but I can't for the life of me remember if it was a dream or not. Guess I'll never find out. I tried for the final time to stand up and I managed by holding on to the broken windowsill however something tells me I won't last long without assistance. Where was Nick when you needed him?
Speaking of the devil, Nick emerges from the door holding more bandages and first aid materials, he was walking at a normal pace until he saw me and rushed to my side grabbing my waist gently to not hurt me and giving me something to lean on which I was grateful for.
" Have you no rest in that body of yours for God's sake?" He reprimanded me while guiding me back to the mattress.
" I'm just restless, I'm trying to remember what happened to me" I question, curious as to if he could provide me with the answers I was seeking.
Nick sighed quietly and started explaining what happened " Your stitches opened, you lost a lot of blood and you passed out from the pain."
" Well that explains why I'm so dizzy and weak"
" mhm" he muttered while looking at me angrily
" what." If he wants to start an argument bring it on bitch
" I told you so. I TOLD you we should have stayed longer in our last location but your stubborn arse wanted to keep moving, if we stayed just a day's rest we would be much farther than we are today!" oh he was pissed, well, so was I.
" Do NOT yell at me right now, I GET it, excuse me for wanting to not delay our already limited time, injuries are bound to happen, and I shouldn't be the main priority right now!"
" WE ARE on two different missions, you are here for your shitty patch of land, and I am here to protect YOU which has been proved a more difficult task than yours!"
" I don't need protection and certainly not from you" I cry out angrily as I stand up furious enough to not be able to sit down anymore.
Nick scoffed and said " If it weren't for me you would be dead right now" while moving closer to me
" If it weren't for you I wouldn't have needed to jump in front of you to save you which you always forget how I got this stupid wound in the first place" At this point, we are nose to nose puffing out steam from our noses ready for one of us to back down which at this point isn't going to happen.
As we stared at each other, our anger decreased and I caught myself looking down at his full lips which made me lick my own dry, now wet lips and soon enough he was also looking at mine. Nick had a sort of desire in his eyes, lust, he wanted to act on it, I saw it as he moved an inch closer but reality soon hit and he shook his head and moved back. I was still breathing heavily from the intense fight but I too looked away and thought of what to say in this awkward silence.
I looked at him again taking in his appearance. He was pacing next to the broken window trying to calm down, he still had his grey shirt on but it was more ripped than at the start of our journey. I then noticed his sleeve and the dried blood seeping through it. He still hadn't taken care of his shoulder, and that's when I found out.
" Let me take care of that" I suggested as I moved closer to him again and moved to get the aid kid from his hands.
" take care of what?" Nick stared at my hand moving to grab the kit but he moved it away from me
" can we not have a debate about everything, give me the damn medkit" This man is just so difficult I swear to God!
" Do you even know what the hell you are doing?" he questioned
" I do actually." making him raise an eyebrow
" You took care of me, now it's my turn, sit your ass down on that mattress and take your shirt off," I demanded
" Is this your tactic to get men into bed?" he teased
" Just sit down and be quiet"
" God, no wonder your single" he continued teasing as he sat down on the mattress
" Oh yeah, and you're a lady's man." I sat down next to him waiting for his sassy response
" Well, I have my moments" he smirked as he started taking off his top but winced as it reached the shoulder portion. My face creased and stood a little closer to him to help him.
" Here, let me help" I stepped closer and lifted his shirt, as I got it off he muttered a thank you and leaned to the side so I can have a better view in the light of the moon.
" Oh." It was worse than I thought. The blood cloth is now mashed with the skin and morphing with it and with the new blood I would need to let the blood flow and stitch it up again to let this wound not cause an infection.
" What?" was he.. concerned?
" Your blood cloth is damaged, I'm almost positive you have an infection brewing in there," I say expertly
" I'm gonna try and fix this, stay still" I don't think I ever said something so softly in my entire life. I don't know why, but I wanted him to get better, He was right before, and I couldn't do this without him.
I raised the wet cloth and started wiping his wound, he stayed still, making no sound, staying strong. I needed to stitch the skin together so I moved closer to examine it properly to not make a mistake. As I started examining his shoulder my eyes started moving towards his neck and down his abdomen. He stayed in shape while in the bunker, and his body was chiselled to high heaven, I almost wanted to touch him to make sure that they were real. I shook my head and concentrated on the task at hand. I started stitching him up, I expected him to make some sort of noise but there was nothing but silence, which to me is the worst noise of all. I was worried that the wound affected his nerves and therefore couldn't feel anything so I had to ask to make sure
" Are you feeling any pain?" I Curiously say
" yes, though I don't see the need to make a fuss about it" he looked at me and raised an eyebrow and gave me a look to let it go but I'm not that type of person.
" Was this a part of your training back in the -"
" Alex." He said cutting me off this was a hard subject for him
I stayed quiet for a moment but after said " You know you once told me that I needed to open up, we need to trust each other for this journey to succeed, maybe you should take your advice."
He took his time answering me this time, carefully considering his words when he said " Maybe I should take your advice and not trust anyone."
Nick looked into my eyes, daring me to say something which I gave in " How about, I say something about my life and you say something about yours."
" did the loss of blood affect your mentality, what happened to you not being interested in me a few days ago?" He was right, what did happen to me
I glared at him, man this guy made it hard to be nice " What is wrong with you, I am reaching out to you, despite not knowing you, trying to be nice and you still can't Budge!" I angrily tossed the cloth away and got up
"You're done, and so am I" I started walking to the door when his voice spoke up stopping me midway.
" I had a brother!." His words made me turn around changing my mood instantly, he was opening up to me. He looked to the ground and up again opening and closing his mouth trying to think what to say to me
" He... I treated him as my son, he was everything to me. My mother had him 9 years after me, he was in an accident and my father made sure to remind him that every day of his life. I loved him so much. My father enlisted me in the army, He wanted me to be like him, strong, and indestructible. He made my life a living hell, he beat me all the time, once to the point of death. He didn't want me to have any weaknesses and to prove that he severed the neck of my favourite horse to teach me a lesson. I fought back at one point, when he started hitting Kol that's when I lost it. He threatened to beat Kol to death and my mother if I didn't enlist in the army. I had no choice. I did two years in that army, and saw so many things, the Lieutenants, killed you from the inside, and brainwash you into thinking killing is an instinct. Later I found out that I wasn't being trained as a soldier, I was being trained as an assassin. When I found out I packed everything I had and escaped to the night and go home. I thought I had trained enough ready to kill my father for what he had done to my family. When I got home I saw Kol on the floor, taking his last breath. Turns out the officers had informed my father about what I had done and he kept his promise of beating Kol till he died. He killed him, he made him suffer. I saw red, I lashed out at him and Hit him with my hands and things I found around the house, I stabbed him, over and over again. It felt good, he died in my arms and realised what I had become. I buried Kol and the next day I packed everything and ran away. Tried to go straight and become a teacher, took some courses, and things started to look up for me but then the pandemic hit and things went to shit again. I remember Kol and what he always told me, to remain with a smile on my face no matter what. You never know who could be suffering and with that smile, you could change someone's day. That's why you saw me how I was at the bunker, I was following his words, trying to live by them every day, a lot good it had done me but there it is."
Silence.
That's all there was after his story. I didn't expect him to share this much. He truly opened up to me, and let me see inside his past. I understood now why he acted that particular set of ways in the bunker, I felt sorry for his loss and I also felt sorry for judging him too quickly. Today I saw a side to Nick that I never thought I would see, I couldn't help but look at him right now. Vulnerable was the word, his presence was here but his mind was reliving every traumatising detail of his past and his brother. I didn't want him to go through that alone so I put my hand over his face and gave him a soft smile. He didn't return it but I felt him thanking me through his soft blue eyes.
" I'm sorry for what you've been through... and I'm sorry for ever calling you childish" I meant that with all my heart.
Nick kept looking down refusing to meet my eyes, he swallowed his tears which I saw through his adam's apple bobbing up and down. When he was finished he looked, ignored my thanks and said " Now it's your turn"
" What?" What???
" You told me you would share something if I would so go on" he raised his eyebrows and ushered me with his hand as if daring me to say something from my past.
I looked at him and scoffed and looked away a little ashamed of what to say. My past was nothing to be fond of, it was dark and dangerous but there was some light there, a small one, very dim, caused by the only
" Dolly" I whispered, I can't believe I said her name out loud, it's been so long...
Nick was confused, he scrunched his eyebrows, thinking he probably didn't hear me properly but he heard right. Deep breath in, and out, and on you go with your story, Alexis.
" She's the reason I'm still alive today... Back at the orphanage, I had no one, I had nothing to live for. I was beaten, bullied, and betrayed. I... I couldn't take it anymore, she saved me from my demons. She came late, I was about 14, and I spent the last two years of my life there in a state of happiness, she showed me a side of me that I didn't know I had. But everything has its time. The reason she came late was that she was transferred from another place that couldn't keep her anymore due to her illness. She had some disease that was deemed incurable, she didn't have that much time left and wanted to make the most of it. One day she got so sick she couldn't get out of bed and was coughing up blood I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to help her! When she was on her death bed I got sick of feeling sorry and wanted to do something instead, I needed to help her, to find a cure. That's when I escaped the orphanage and found a couple who raised me as their own, they let me study at university. I took Biology to help me understand her illness better and to find some way that the others could not. I was so stupid to run away, I didn't even say goodbye. I was a coward, I didn't want to go back into that room and find her dead. In my head, she's alive and well and waiting for me to deliver that cure."
I was in tears by the time I finished and Nick kept staring at me in awe not knowing what to do. He kept opening and closing his mouth trying to find the right thing to say " Did you ever find it, the cure?"
" No. I found the illness and where it starts but I don't know from what it stems and why." I wasted 4 years in college for that shit to come out of my mouth.
" Is that why you're doing this?" He said softly
" You're wanting to find the cure so that in your mind it could compensate for the cure of your friend?"
silence.
I never really thought about that, finding this cure wouldn't help hers obviously, but maybe it helped me figure something else out. I don't know what to feel anymore
" I... I don't know" Nick let out a sigh which made me look at him, he was thinking and I didn't know what happens next. I wiped the tears from my eyes but they still kept pouring down so I just let them be. I felt a hand under my chin pulling me closer to him, making me look into his eyes.
" Thank you for opening up to me, for trusting me. I'm sorry for ever calling you stuck up" He admitted
" When have you ever called me stuck u -" I couldn't finish my sentence. He had cut me off by moving even closer to me, still having his hand on my chin, pulling me closer to him. I didn't even get a chance to react when his lips gently pressed on mine. I didn't know what to do, I felt a small flutter in my heart and excitement but I also felt scared at what it meant, I liked it but at what cost? He was a good kisser I'll give him that, even if it was just a light kiss it held meaning. He wanted to tell me he understood but there was another part of him that wanted this, and maybe so did I.