I twisted my hair around my fingers while Mr. Jacobs droned on about some rare metal found in northern Europe. I generally tried to tune out in world cultures class because it reminded me too much of Frog. I was frustrated that my little trip to his house had only added more to the mystery instead of giving me the closure I was seeking. I kept telling myself to just forget about him, that I didn't need to waste my energy thinking about the kind, funny guy that had overwhelmed my emotions despite his underwhelming appearance. But the more I tried to drive him out of my mind, the more he invaded my subconscious.
The bell rang and I took my time packing up my stuff. By the time I left the classroom, there was some kind of commotion in the hallway. As I walked toward the chaos, I saw that a large group of students was gathered around Pete Dickenson and Brian Gibbs, who were throwing a lunch bag back and forth, keeping it out of the reach of an overweight boy who was frantically trying to reclaim it.
"Here piggy! Come get your slop back!" Brian Gibbs called out, waving the bag in front of the boy before launching it over to Pete.
Most of the students surrounding the melee erupted into laughter, but a few looked uncomfortable. The spectacle spurred me to action, and before I knew it, I had stepped into the middle of the circle behind Pete Dickenson and snatched the bag out of his hands.
"What is wrong with you guys?" I exclaimed, glaring between Pete and Brian. "Do you think this is funny?"
"Um, yeah," Pete replied with a casual shrug, but his expression held a trace of insecurity.
"Honestly? How could you be so barbaric?" I shouted, giving the lunch bag back to the boy with more force than I had intended. "What if it were you? Do you know what it feels like?" Pete, Brian, and the rest of the students in the crowd just stared at me. I was kind of losing it, but I didn't care. The more bullying I witnessed, the more it infuriated me. "These are the kinds of things you did to Frog, and where did that get you? Did it make you feel good?"
"Who's Frog?" Brian asked.
I felt my face flush with anger. "Who's Frog?" I yelled. "How in the world do you not remember him? He was the tall, skinny guy everybody picked on! You turned his skin green!"
"Oh yeah," Brian said, chuckling, "that was epic."
"No it wasn't!" I screamed. I noticed several people take a step back from me. "Why can't you guys just look past someone's appearance and get to know them! Who are you to decide that someone is beneath you, that someone deserves that kind of treatment? What benefit do you get from tormenting people when you're not even going to remember them?"
Everyone was silent. Someone near the back of the crowd was taking a video on their phone. I was pretty sure a few of the students thought I was going crazy. Maybe I was. A few seconds later the bell rang, signaling the start of the next period, and everyone dispersed. The overweight boy murmured an embarrassed "thank you," as he slipped by, and soon everyone had left the hallway except for Milo Kowalski, who was grinning at me.
"I knew you liked him," he said, nodding knowingly. "You and I need to talk sometime." Then he turned and disappeared down the hall.
*****
I was absentmindedly watching the afternoon shadows move across my kitchen counter when my mom came in the door.
"Hey, you're home early," I said nonchalantly.
My mom dropped her bag on the counter and came and stood right next to me. "Kayla, I just got a call from the vice principal."
"Oh yeah?" I still couldn't bring myself to express any emotion.
"She told me you had some kind of outburst at school?"
I sighed. "It wasn't a big deal. I just yelled at a couple guys because they were bullying this kid."
My mother huffed. "Mrs. Youngblood also told me that your grades have been slipping and that you haven't been completing any of your assignments."
I shrugged and focused on a scratch on the countertop.
"Kayla!" My mom exclaimed, grabbing me by my shoulders and forcing me to face her. "You are scaring me! I've noticed that you've been acting strange, but I just stepped back to give you space. This apathy is so uncharacteristic and I can't stand it anymore! Please tell me what's wrong!"
As I looked at my mom, nearly frantic with worry, something in me snapped. Every emotion I had been holding back for the past several weeks broke through my carefully crafted indifference and soon I was bawling into my mother's shoulder. Through tears and sniffles, I told her about everything that happened at the homecoming dance, about how Wyatt had assaulted me and how Frog had come to miraculously get Wyatt away from me. My whole body shook as I recounted the events of that night, and I realized that holding in the secret for all those weeks had been eating away at my self worth and determination. As difficult as it was to tell my mom about it, I felt a small sense of freedom, like a weight being lifted off of my heart.
My mom cried with me and held me for a long time. When she finally pulled away, I could see the distress in her eyes.
"Honey, I'm so sorry you had to go through that," she said, putting her hand on my cheek. "I had no idea it was so severe, and I wish you would have told me sooner. I'm sorry I wasn't more available."
"It's okay, mom," was all I was able to say in response. I had had plenty of opportunities to tell my mom about the issue. I had just chosen to keep it to myself.
"Kayla," my mom continued in a slightly more formal tone, "this needs to be reported. I'm going to contact the school about this, as well as Wyatt's parents."
I nodded. It didn't sound pleasant, but I knew it needed to be done. My mom gave me one more hug, then stepped away to get her phone. I took a deep breath. I had taken a big step towards my emotional recovery, but I knew I still had a long way to go. I also considered the fact that the only other person who knew about my experience was Frog. Maybe that was part of the reason I missed him so much.