Chereads / Secret of a Straight Fudanshi (Pinoy BL) / Chapter 16 - Chapter 16: Transcending Love

Chapter 16 - Chapter 16: Transcending Love

Ace's POV

Please tell me that I'm dreaming? Tell me na hindi ito totoo na Seph is about to kiss me and our lips is just less than an inch away and malapit niya na makuha ang first kiss ko!

Kung magkataon, si Seph ang kauna-unahang tao na makakatikim ng virgin lips ko! I was saving this for a girl and not for a guy!

Gusto kong kumawala mula sa hawak ni Seph, but I can't. My body doesn't let me! Tipong hindi gumagalaw ang body parts ko na parang nag shut down lahat!

Is Seph really going to kiss me? I can already feel the heat coming from his face and hindi ko na kinakaya talaga! Naradamdaman ko ang bawat paghinga niya na tumatama sa mukha ko and kinakabahan ako!

Susuko na ba ako? I don't know but ayaw ko na lang gumalaw and para bang hinihintay ko na lang na halikan niya ako. Why am I giving in? Straight ako 'di ba? Bakit 'yung katawan ko, parang gustong magpahalik kay Seph? Bakit sa kanya pa?

Hindi ko na maintindihan 'yung kinikilos ng katawan ko. Isa pa, kapag nakikita ko si Seph na sobrang lapit sa akin, para akong nahi-hypnotized lalo na kapag nakatingin ako sa magaganda niyang mga mata! So, I've decided na pumikit na lang ako dahil hindi ko na alam ang dapat kong gawin sa puntong ito!

Mas nararamdaman ko 'yung init ng mukha ni Seph na lumalapit sa akin when someone from behind me uttered, "Ehem!"

I didn't know who it was but still, nakapikit pa rin ako and I'm still standing like a life size standee na hindi talaga gumagalaw!

Niyakap ako bigla ni Seph and mas naramdaman ko ang warmth ng katawan niya which I don't know but it felt so good and comforting, but aside from that, may naramdaman ako from Seph's hug... something na malungkot. I don't know how to explain this, but I felt his loneliness noong niyakap ako ni Seph. But deep inside of me, gusto ko rin siya yakapin pabalik but I can't tie my hands yet to his body. Ibig sabihin noon, para ko na rin sinuko ang sarili ko sa kanya.

However, I really loved the way Seph hugged me. It was so pure, gentle and so tender but hindi ko lang talaga alam why I really felt something so gloomy.

"I'm sorry, master, sa lahat ng utos mo, ang halikan ka ang hindi ko muna gagawin. You deserve respect and I don't want na bastusin ka and kiss you without your full consent. May meeting lang ako with the music club. See you around!" Seph whispered.

I felt relieved dahil I really thought that he'll kiss me and good thing na he was so understanding. Umalis na si Seph and iminulat ko na rin ang mga mata ko but then nawala na agad siya na parang bula.

I looked back sa taong nag "Ehem" sa likod ko dahil ako ang magtatanggal ng plema niya sa baga niya at napakalakas ng pagkakasabi niya kanina!

It was Lucas, standing in front me, and his eyes... his eyes are full of disappointment na para bang gusto niyang umiyak but he's taking it all back in. Ayaw niya ilabas 'yung mga luha niya.

"Oh, bakit parang lugmok na lugmok ka dyan?" I jokingly said.

"Kayo na ni Seph? Hindi ba pinapahirapan ka niya? Bakit nagustuhan mo siya? Anong mayroon sa kanya? Nagwapuhan ka sa kanya? Bakit ka magpapahalik sa kanya? Bakit nakayakap siya sayo? Sinuko mo na sarili mo sa kanya? Mahal—" Lucas said but I interrupted him before he says that word.

"Lucas." I said and he paused, "Hindi kami ni Seph. Baliw ka talaga! Straight ako, why would I be with a guy?"

Lucas sighed and felt relieved.

"Alam mo, mas gugustuhin ko pa na maging straight ka kaysa mapunta ka sa kanya at hindi sa akin." He said.

"Huh? Anong sabi mo?" I said but I heard what Lucas said loud and clear but I just wanted to confirm.

"Wala, sabi ko ang cute mo kasi, Ace. 'Wag ka masyadong magpapacute kasi maraming nagkakagusto sa'yo. Tsaka sabi ko sayo delikado lumapit kay Seph. Paano kung ibang tao ang nakakita sa inyo? Benta ka na naman sa school news feed!" Lucas said and he was worried.

"Edi kung ipost nila ulit ako, I'll sue them! Isa pa, I'm not cute! Astig ako and cool! Don't use the word cute on me!" I said, because I see myself not as a bottom or an Uke! I see myself as a Seme... no wait, I'm straight, I forgot!

"Okay, sige, cute na astig ka na lang. 'Wag ka na rin masyadong lalabas. Pwede ba na sa dorm mo na lang ikaw ulit? Kinakabahan ako, baka kung kanino ka mapunta niyan eh. Haha!" Lucas jokingly said.

"What? Anong tingin mo sa akin? Tsaka walang kukuha sa akin! I doubt that someone will like me!" I said.

He was murmuring but I can't really hear what Lucas is saying. All I heard clearly is "Ako" but aside from that, wala na akong narinig pang iba.

Lukas slowly walked in front of me as well, and we're 1 feet apart. Nakatingala rin ako sa kanya dahil matangkad siya, and to add, he's taller than Seph so mas grabe ang tingala ko ngayon!

But since napansin niya na nakatingala ako sa kanya, binaba niya ang sarili niya and bent his knees para magpantay ang mga mukha naming dalawa. It was too close, like it was earlier with Seph!

"Ace, master, seriously, don't be too charming. Baka hindi kayanin ng puso't isip ko. Kasi kapag hindi ko napigilan, I might do the unexpected at baka hindi mo magustuhan. Kaya, hinay hinay ka lang, Ace, and wag mo masyadong galingan magpaakit." he gently said right in front of my face!

I don't know what, but, shuta, ang bango rin ng hininga ni Lucas. Haha! I'd say, tie sila ni Seph when it comes to pabanguhan ng hininga kaya ang lakas ng loob nila na kausapin ako ng malapitan, as in face to face! Hahaha! Where's Harry when you need him? Kailangan niya lagyan and mag record ng 1 point each kina Lucas and Seph... wait! What am I thinking!

After a while, Lucas hugged me as well, and I really felt the tenderness of his body. Though mukhang mabato siya from the outside dahil sa mga muscles niya, his body is really so soft. From his hug, I felt happiness from him. I felt contentment and it seems na iyon ang inilalabas na feeling ng katawan ni Lucas just by hugging me. I wanted more, but I really can't... dahil, quota na ako! 2 guys hugged me in just 1 day! I mean, what the hell!

I also did not hug Lucas and kept my hands on the side of my body since hindi ko talaga isusuko ang sarili ko kahit kanino!

"Hindi ako pwede magpahuli, Ace. I'll fight 'til the very end, and kahit na hindi ako ang piliin mo, I'll stay right beside you at nandito lang ako sa likod mo, hanggang sa mapansin mo ako." he whispered and I got stunned... again!

He released me from his hug, but then magkalapit pa rin ang mukha namin sa isa't isa at naka bent pa rin ang knees niya para lang maging magkaharapan kami. Hindi ba nakakangawit 'yun para sa kanya?

"May meeting pa ako with the seniors of the basketball team, master. See you around! Kapag kailangan mo ng kasama or gusto mo pa akong makasama, sabihin mo lang and I'll stop our meeting just for you." Lucas said and smiled.

"Baliw ka! Unahin mo 'yang meeting mo!" I said.

"Okay, sabi mo eh, master. Tawagan mo lang ako pag kailangan mo ako and I'll be faster..." Lucas said and I interrupted again.

"Than the speed of light. Yeah, yeah, I got it! Umalis ka na nga! Male-late ka pa!" I said and laughed.

"Thank you, master. Ayaw pa sana kita iwanan. Kung pwede lang, isasama kita sa akin eh. Haha!" Lucas said.

"No way! Now, disappear!" I shouted but Lucas knows that I'm not angry.

Umayos na siya ng tayo and when I looked at his face, para siyang nagpipigil. I don't know what happened to him, at bakit ganoon ang mukha niya, and he was already sweating.

Tumalikod na siya and started walking... and habang naglalakad siya, hindi ko napigilang matawa! Pa-ika ika siya maglakad! Hahaha! Paano ba naman, bakit kasi kailangan niya pa pantayan ang mukha ko tapos naka bent pa ang knees niya ng mahabang oras. Ayan! Kasalanan mo 'yan, Lucas!

But, as soon as Lucas left and I'm all alone at the garden, napatingin ako sa langit and I wondered, why I liked both their hugs but I felt different feelings.

With Seph, his hug was so comforting but I can feel his pain, his lonliness, his sorrow. But with Lucas naman, it was so satisfying and I can feel all the happiness that's overflowing from his body.

Ganoon ba kapag niyayakap ka ng isang tao? You can feel them? I don't know but 'yun kasi ang first time na nakayakap ako ng tao... and to be honest, those two guys were my first hugs! Though it wasn't so bad, and I liked it... teka teka teka... I shouldn't be liking it! No! This is insane!

"No!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Mr. Martin Ace, are you okay?" Mrs. Perulina said and just walked in front of me, "Why are you shouting in the middle of the garden? Alam mo, if you have a problem, dadalhin kita sa guidance councelor."

"No po, tita. I'm fine!" I said.

"Don't call me 'Tita' here sa school! What did I said? At school, you are not my nephew, but my student!" Mrs. Perulina said.

Yes, Mrs. Perulina is my aunt, my mother's sister. Since I'm all alone here at Manila, she's my guardian but sabi ko kay mom na I want to live independetly dahil she wants me to live with Mrs. Perulina. Good thing na napunta ako sa dorm!

"I mean, Mrs. Perulina, okay lang po ako. I have to go now for our next class." I said.

"Okay, mag aral ng mabuti and if nakausap mo si mom mo, tell her I said hi and wag na siya maghanap ng kung sino sinong lalaki!" Mrs. Perulina said.

"Okay po. I'll tell mom." I said.

Well, sabi ko nga noon, I was raised by my mom only since my dad left nung nalaman niya na nabuntis si mom. She was a teenager noong pinagbubuntis niya ako, I mean she was 16 at that time. And guess what, she's just 33 now. Imagine, I'd call my mom "tita mom" or "ate mom" or worse "tropa". But that's how I'm with my mom when I talk to her, para kaming mag tropa since she's still young at heart. Though I still respect her, nasanay lang kami mag-usap na parang mag tropa ang turingan. Minsan I call her by her first name, "Hoy Lucille" when she's being pursued by another guy, but she knows that I'm just joking. Haha! Ayoko na kasi siyang masaktan from being rejected so I try to call her out sa first name niya para matauhan siya lalo na at hindi naman na ako sinustentuhan ng dad ko, and I don't even know who he is or what he looks like.

"Your birthday is near, saan ka magcecelbrate? Sa Manila or sa house niyo sa Antique?" Mrs. Perulina asked.

"Sa Antique po. Absent po ako ah? Haha!" I jokingly said.

"Napakatigas talaga ng ulo mo, Ace! But okay, since it's your birthday and may pasok 'yun, ako na ang bahala na kumuha ng mga notes mo from the teachers. 'Yun na ang regalo ko sayo. Kung hindi lang kita pamangkin, ibabagsak kita sa Geometry class ko!" Mrs. Perulina said, "Oh siya, go to your room! Now!"

"Bye po, tita!"

"Ace!" Mrs. Perulina grumpily said.

"Joke lang po! Mauuna na po ako, Mrs. Perulina."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As soon as I got to the classroom, wala pa ang teacher namin for the next subject so I looked at Tara who's seating behind me. She was giggling and may tinitingnan siya sa phone niya na para bang kinikilig siya. But maybe, may binabasa lang siya na yaoi manga?

"Tara?" I said.

Then bigla niya pinatay ang phone niya and parang gulat na gulat siya and said, "No, it wasn't me! I swear!"

"Ha? Anong sinasabi mo?" I asked since di ko maintindihan kung bakit parang may kasalanan siya at may tinatago siya.

"Nothing, Ace." Tara said and smiled at me like she was hiding something from me. Hmmm, ano kaya 'to?

"May itatanong ako sa'yo, Tara."

"Yes, Ace? Itanong mo na, dali!" she whispered.

"Have you ever hugged someone in your life?" I asked.

Then, bigla siyang kinilig like WTF? Tapos pinapalo palo niya pa ang desk niya so nalito ako sa pinapakita niya. Afterwards, huminga siya nang malalim and kinalma niya ang sarili niya.

"Yes, Ace. My parents." she answered.

"No, I mean ibang tao. Not your family or relatives." I asked.

"Why'd you ask? Hmm, Yes, my ex. Haha! But what are your sentiments ba?" Tara asked.

"If may yumakap sayo, is it possible na maramdaman mo 'yung feelings ng taong yumayakap sayo?" I asked.

"I'd say, depende sa situation. If it is just a casual hug, wala ka mararamdaman. But if this hug is from a person that loves you so deeply, there's a tendency na you'll feel that person's feelings. I mean alam mo 'yun, parang shinare sa'yo nung tao yung nararamdaman niya sa sarili niya and that's possible. You can feel it sa paraan kung paano ka nila yakapin. It's just a matter of understanding one's feelings. Bakit, may yumakap ba sayo?" Tara asked.

"Yes... I mean wala. Pinapatanong lang ng kaibigan ko." I answered.

"Wag mo ko lokohin, Ace. Si Chester and Harry lang ang friends mo bukod sa akin! And I doubt na tatanungin ka nila ng gano'n no!  So, who hugged you?" Tara whispered.

I don't have any choice but ilabas ito.

"Seph and Lucas." I answered.

"Ace! Nakakainis ka! Nakakainggit ka!" Tara whispered.

"Ano naman nakakainggit doon?" I asked.

"Biruin mo, two of the finest men sa school natin, which is Seph, the music club president, ang hinahanggan ng lahat, the idol, the one, the rockstar! Tapos si Lucas, the basketball club president, the gangster, the respected one! Ace, those two, pinapangarap yan ng lahat ng kababaihan at ng sangkabaklaan sa school, tapos ikaw pa 'tong choosy! If I were you, I'd choose both of them! May schedule nga lang! M-W-F si Lucas tapos T-TH-S naman si Seph, tas Sunday na lang pahinga mo!" Tara said while she's so jealous yet happy at the same time.

"Alam mo, Tara, baliw ka na talaga. Why would I schedule them? But seriously, I felt something different based from their hugs." I said.

"So, would you care to explain?" Tara asked.

"Noong niyakap ako ni Seph, I felt a comforting hug but the sadness overflowed my body. Then, when Lucas hugged me, I felt satisfied and pure happiness is what I felt from him." I answered.

"Oh my gosh, Ace! I can't believe it! nagtatranscend 'yung feelings nila papunta sayo through hugging! Does it mean that you like them both? Well, hindi kita masisisi since lahat ng tao gustong maging jowa sila no! Ang swerte mo Ace. Wisikan mo ko ng ganda baka sakaling matulad ako sayo!" Tara said.

"You're outrageous, Tara. I told you, I'm..."

"You're straight. Yes I got that part, Ace. But hanggang kailan mo isasara ang puso mo? But mind you, this will be a very harsh battle between the two. I've heard ah... chismis lang to, Seph and Lucas were best of friends before and I don't know what really happened why all of a sudden bigla silang naging cold sa isa't isa."

"You mean close sila dati?" I asked and I was amazed.

"Yes! I mean closest of the closest! But now, we really don't know what happened why naging malayo sila sa isa't isa. I heard na may competition na naganap sa kanila but I don't know what it is." Tara said.

I got to the point where I was dying to know why did they end up being cold to each other. Imagine close sila dati but ngayon, para silang malapit na magsapakan whenever they see each other ng malapitan.

It bothered me all throughout the day and hindi na ako nakapag focus sa class. I really wanted to know what happened. If I were to ask, I guess, I'd ask Chester or Harry, but then again, baka kalokohan lang ang isagot nila sa akin.

I was on my way to the dorm since uwian na, and  while walking, nakatingin lang ako sa langit and nagiisip ako ng kung ano-ano... then I stumbled across at bumanga ako sa isang tao.

"Oops! I'm sorry, sir." I said.

Then, tumalikod sa akin ang taong nabangga ko, and it was Joker, Seph's friend and bandmate.

"Oy, cutie boy, ikaw pala yan!" he said and smiled at me.

"Please, just don't call me cutie boy!" I said.

"Sorry, sorry. Pauwi ka na ba?" Joker asked.

"Yes. Why?" I asked.

"Let's go, sabay na tayo." Joker said.

"Wait, bakit tayo magsasabay?" I asked.

"Kasi, sa iisang dorm lang tayo nakatira?" Joker said.

How did he know? And isa pa, he's also living sa same dorm as me! Does it mean na Seph's also living at the same dorm since lagi sila magkasama ni Joker?

"Okay." I said and as we continue to walk, I asked him, "Wala na kayong meeting sa music club?"

"Wala. Bakit mo tinanong? Are you looking for Seph? Haha!" Joker said and bigla niyang ginulo ang buhok ko!

"Don't touch me!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry, yes, I won't touch you." Joker said.

And as we continue to walk, hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko but to ask him about Lucas and Seph since he's closer kay Seph and maybe he has the answer kung anong nangyari sa dalawa.

"Joker, if you won't mind. May itatanong ako." I asked.

"Yes, cutie boy?"

I looked at him with squinting eyes to show that hindi ako nakikipag biruan.

"Okay, okay. Sorry na, Ace. Bilis naman nito magalit. Haha! Ano tatanong mo?" Joker asked.

"Close ba dati si Seph and Lucas?" I asked.

Joker sighed and pakiramdam ko ayaw niya sagutin ang tanong ko. We were already at the elevator pero hindi pa rin siya sumasagot sa tanong ko.

"Anong floor mo, 3rd right?" Joker asked.

"Oo." I said then Joker pressed 3rd and then 7th floor which I suppose their floor kung saan ang room nila.

Elevator chime-3rd floor.

"Dito na ako, Joker. I have to go, see you around!" I said as I stepped out of the elevator and nakatalikod na ako kay Joker. Siya na lang ang naiwan, and before magsara ang elevator, he answered my question.

"Oo, close sila Seph and Lucas before, but naging magkaaway sila, because of you." Joker answered.

I was stunned dahil ako ang dahilan kung bakit sila naging cold sa isa't isa? What the hell!

Tumalikod ako since I was not ready to hear that answer but then sarado na ang elevator and Joker was gone.

It was all because of me kaya naging distant sina Seph and Lucas sa isa't isa? What the hell!

End of Chapter 16