Ace's POV
Tama ba 'yung narinig ko? Na may affair si Max and Rence? I get that he's not straight and that's fine with me, but the thing is, he's having an affair with a man na may fiancé na! What the! Anong klaseng complicated na buhay ba mayroon sila?
So does it mean that Rence is not straight as well since he's having an affair with a guy, and not only that, sa isa pang member. Hindi lang isang rule ang na broke niya, but two! One for not being straight and the other is having a relationship sa member and what's worst is that siya ang creator and ang nag set ng rules pero siya ang di sumusunod.
But then again, it's their business and ang pinunta ko lang dito is all about yaoi and BL and nothing more. If gusto nila ng complicated and kakaibang setup, well, it's up to them and I won't mind. Hindi naman ako 'yung tipo ng tao na magsasabi na "No! Mali 'yan!". It's their problem to start with in the first place.
Does Jeffrey know about this since close siya with Rence? I'll try to ask him later without revealing Max's secret.
I thought na it's all fun and games sa group na to, but kakasimula ko pa lang pero may mga kakaiba na palang nagaganap behind the scenes. Baka 'yung sinabi ni Max is just the tip of the iceberg and mas marami pang nakatago?
"Ace, I just needed someone to talk to. Parang hindi ko na kasi kaya and feeling ko sasabog na ako. I'm sorry na sa'yo ko sinabi." Max said while finishing his cigarette.
"It's fine. I won't judge, although I know I don't have the right para sabihin kung ano ang tama since it's your life, but hindi ba mahirap para sa'yo? I mean he's getting married and yet you're having an affair with him?" I asked.
"Mahirap. Sobrang hirap lalo na kapag nakikita ko silang dalawa ng fiance niya na sobrang sweet lalo na sa harapan ko at lalo na kanina. 'Yung tipong 'I wish I was her.'" Max said with disappointment.
"Matagal na ba 'to?"
"For 2 months na. Pero I don't think Rence is in love with me. I feel like isa lang akong play toy for him but na-attached na ako sa kanya so hindi ko na alam kung paano titigil." Max sighed and took out another stick of cigarette from his shirt pocket.
"Hindi ba parang kinakawawa mo sarili mo? I mean, at the end of the day, it's not you. And sooner or later it will be sinful once na married na sila."
"Alam ko na parang kinakawawa ko sarili ko para sa love na I don't even deserve and alam ko na hindi ko makukuha. But I'm so happy even though it hurts so much. You can call me a 'Masochist' or whatever, kaso I just can't stop loving him."
"And kailan ka mag dedecide na titigil na magmahal sa kanya?"
"Once na hindi ko na kayanin."
"Well, I wish you good luck. It will be a very long and hard journey. I'm so sorry, hindi ako magaling mag comfort ah? Haha! And I don't want to stop you from your happiness. I know it's wrong, but I hope that you'll find the happiness that you deserve. Isa lang ang masasabi ko and I hope that you won't get offended. I think it's not him, si Rence, that is your happiness. Siguro may iba pa d'yan. I'm so sorry if I can't relate to you since hindi pa ako nakakaexperience with a guy and I don't intend to, ever, but 'yun lang ang masasabi ko. I wish you good luck and sana makita mo 'yung deserving for you love."
Max sighed heavily pagkatapos ko mag explain. Hindi ko inakala that I can talk like this lalo na sa usaping love. Like, I'm not experienced and isa pa, it's about a love between two guys. I guess natututunan ko lang siguro sa mga nababasa at napapanood ko. Haha!
After that talk, he didn't even finished the cigarette and throwed it away. He smiled at me and said, "Thanks, Ace. I just feel na kailangan ko lang masabihan na I'm wrong and that's what you did. I just needed some realizations."
"Just for the clarification, Max, I'm not a love guru ah? I don't even have a thing for guys and I haven't really experienced being in a relationship or yet alone being a 'third party', so it's really up to you. Whatever your decision is, sa'yo 'yan."
"No, that's fine. I hope na we can have talks like these in the future. Sometimes, mas masarap makipag-usap sa mga taong hindi mo pa gaanong close. Don't take it against Rence, he's a nice guy and I think may thing lang siya for younger people like us. But in case na you feel something different about him towards you, this is just a warning, na he may be into you since you're still young."
"Well, when that happens, I'll leave this group immediately and I'll make sure to expose him sa fiance niya. Sounds bad but it's the right way. Well I'm not gay to begin with so malas niya if sa akin niya 'yun ginawa!"
Max laughed and was almost teary-eyed and said, "Thank you, Ace. I had fun sa small talk natin."
"No, thank you for sharing this with me, Max. I know how hard it is para sabihin 'yang problem mo sa iba since you'll be judged, and sanay na ako being judged by others after nila malaman na I'm into yaoi and BL stuff and will think of me as gay or into guys."
"I get you, Ace. Well, I think it's time to go back na and baka hinahanap na nila tayo."
We went back inside the venue and they were already drunk... even Jeffrey is drunk! What the hell! Mag da-drive siya and he's almost wasted! I thought siya ang mag-aalaga sa akin but I think it turned out to be me after all!
Hayst! How would you expect that a 16 year old dude like me will take care of a 32 year old man? I don't even know where to begin with!
Nilapitan ko si Jeffrey and I whispered, "Jeffrey, kaya mo pa ba? Can you drive?"
He laughed after I asked him. Wala namang nakakatawa and I was dead serious... so I think he's really wasted. But, the good thing is that I know how to drive and I have a student license so I guess it's fine.
Afterwards, he grabbed my shoulders and he almost hugged me and whispered, "I'm sorry, Ace, I said na I will take care of you, but I think hindi ko na ata kaya. Can you please take care of me?"
I sighed and ano pa ba ang magagawa ko? I guess I'll be the babysitter for a 32 year old man for this night.
"Okay lang. Just don't drink anymore if hindi mo na kaya." I whispered.
"Okay po. I won't... master." he said and I was startled when he said "Opo" and "master". Like, WTF, you're older than me and you'll say 'po' and master? Ganito ba si Jeffrey pag lasing? He becomes so polite and weird? I thought Jeffrey was a good guy with principles na may bad boy look on his face, but once he's drunk, he turns into a small little child.
Afterwards, Rence wrapped up the party since it's 10 p.m. and had to go home since may work pa ang iba and but the good thing is that wala akong pasok bukas.
Tinayo ko na si Jeffrey and nakaakbay siya sa akin as a support since hindi na rin siya makalakad ng maayos since he's tipsy. We went to the parking lot at pinasok ko na si Jeffrey sa kotse niya. Sobrang bigat ng tao na 'to since he's somewhat buffed, but even though na marami na siyang nainom, he still smells nice and he looks good. Medyo mapula na ang cheeks and lips niya due to alcohol and he looks peaceful habang nakapikit siya and nakasandal sa chair.
While I was staring at him sleeping on his chair and I was standing outside the car, he slowly opened his eyes and smiled at me and said "Hi, master Ace."
Why are you smiling at me! Don't do that! Kasi, the background is starting to turn pink again and the smooth melody is turning up its volume and my heart is fluttering!
I looked away para magising ako from this nonsense and umupo na ako sa driver's seat.
"Do you live with Tara ba or sa ibang bahay so I can drop you off sa correct address." I asked but did not looked at him since baka lumabas na naman ang pink background. Good thing na hindi lumabas ang falling feathers kanina!
"No, she's living with my dad and my stepmom. Sa ibang bahay ako nakatira, I mean my own house."
He tapped the saved address sa kanyang screen navigator na nakalagay just below his aircon unit and good thing dahil maihahatid ko siya ng maayos since he can't tell the directions anymore and baka maligaw lang kami.
I started driving and dahil medyo tahimik, I started off the conversation to keep him awake.
"Jeffrey, are you still awake?"
"Yes po, master Ace. Why?"
"Please, just don't call me 'Master'. Kinikilabutan ako."
He chuckled, "Why? don't you like being called 'Master'?"
"No. Hindi naman ako mataas na tao. Isa pa, you're way older than me."
"Pwede naman 'yun. You can be my master and I can be your servant, and lahat ng gusto mo, I'll do it for you... wholeheartedly."
I suddenly pressed the brake pedal so hard dahil sa narinig ko and good thing na wala ng masyadong sasakyan sa dinadaanan namin. I looked at him while he's still seating in his chair comfortably habang nakapikit. Is this dude really serious sa sinasabi niya or he's just drunk?
But I don't know why, pero I felt something different. I felt a different warmth na lumabas sa katawan ko and I don't know what's that but I think it's a feeling of something na medyo nakakapagpainit ng katawan or some sort of, I mean, something about lust, but I don't want it!
I changed the topic dahil ayokong ituloy ang pinag-uusapan namin about being his master. Nakatigil pa rin kami sa daan and since baka mapapadyak na naman ako sa brake pedal ng wala sa oras sa mga isasagot niya sa tanong ko.
"Jeffrey, matanong ko lang, is Rence really straight?"
I looked at him and he sighed.
"He used to be."
So I think he knows Rence's secret?
"What do you mean by 'He used to be'?" I asked.
"He was straight before. Classmate ko si Rence since highschool and for the record, palagi siyang may bagong girlfriend every 4 months."
"Eh, what changed him?"
"We were all alone sa bedroom ko sa bahay, not my house today, but where Tara is living and we were higschool students back then, 4th year to be exact, and nahuli niya ako na may mga yaoi manga ako and mga short stories ko about two guys doing it with each other."
I think alam ko na kung saan pupunta itong story ni Jeffrey, but then I let him continue the story.
"When he saw my yaoi manga and my early works, nag init daw siya and wanted it to try with me. He asked if may experience na ako and I said na wala pa. He offered himself so that I can use him so I can write better stories about explicit contents so that I'll know the feeling. And from there on, Rence was my first. Lahat ng positions ginawa namin and it was not just a one time big time, but iba't ibang araw whenever he feels horny or would like to take it all out on me. Yes, I felt dirty, kung 'yun ang nasa isip mo, but it made me a better writer since I know the feeling already, but never ako nagkagusto ko Rence. It's just that we were doing it out of lust at para sa experiences ko as a writer and that's all. But Rence, he's different. He turned bisexual after that."
"But what about making the S.G.F.C.? Why make a group if the leader is not straight?"
"I'm so sorry, Ace, I can't tell you yet."
I sighed and started driving again. I'm having double thoughts now if I wanted to leave the group. Can I really trust them? Can I trust Jeffrey?
"What if I want to leave the group, okay lang ba?" I asked.
"Wag muna, please give this group a chance. I know na it's really unfair since ang creator na gumawa ng rules ay hindi sumusunod, but aside from that, he's a good person."
That's what Max said to me, that even though may pagkamalibog siguro si Rence, he's still a good guy. I think I can still handle this for now, but if lumala na ang mga nangyayari, I'll make sure to cut off ties with them, even kay Jeffrey.
"Okay, I will stay longer as I can since mahirap humanap ng ganitong group since napaka rare nito." I said.
At the back of my mind, I would also like to know if Jeffrey is straight or not but I think, that question is reserved for another date since nakarating na kami sa tapat ng bahay niya.
After namin makababa, he asked me if I want to sleep for the night sa bahay niya, but I refused. Baka mamaya may gawin siya na hindi maganda since he's still under alcohol and I can't sleep pag wala ang lucky hotdog pillow ko! Haha!
"I'll just take a taxi para makauwi, Jeffrey. Thank you for inviting me sa dinner."
"Are you sure na okay lang talaga sa'yo? You can sleep here for the night. I can sleep on the living room and you can sleep on my bed."
"No, it's fine, Jeffrey. Nakakahiya din kasi."
"Ako nga ang dapat mahiya since pinag-drive mo pa ako pauwi which is supposedly ako dapat ang gumawa. I'll book a taxi for you, don't pay for it." he insisted.
Well, I would say na nahihiya ako since nilibre na nila ako ng dinner, but I guess a taxi fair wouldn't hurt since kailangan ko din magtipid dahil marami na akong nagastos ko para sa allowance ko for this week! Haha!
As soon as nakauwi ako sa dorm namin, pagbukas ko ng pinto, there's three of them sa loob-Chester, Harry and they're with Lucas and they are drinking and sitting on the floor.
Hindi na ba talaga ako lulubayan ng alak for this day?
"Ace! Sarado mo pinto! Baka mahuli tayo!" Chester said.
I immediately closed our door dahil baka may makakita sa amin. Nilapitan ko sila and Lucas offered me a seat beside him so doon na rin ako umupo.
"Kanina pa kita hinihintay, Ace. Akala ko hindi ka na uuwi." Lucas said.
"Hala, I should've texted you. I forgot, I'm sorry." I said.
"It's okay. Pwede ba ako matulog muna dito sa inyo for the night since may nirerepair sa C.R. namin and sobrang baho." Lucas asked.
Tiningnan ko sina Harry and Chester and they were nodding. Isa pa, do I have a choice?
"It's fine, Lucas."
"Pwede bang tumabi ako sa bed mo?"
Oh no... not again! Ano ba 'to! First, Jeffrey wants me to sleep at his house. Now, si Lucas naman! Why does everybody wants to sleep with me! Can I not sleep in peace?
End of Chapter 8