Tessa has always been right, especially when she insults me and makes fun of me for
my crude attitudes.
'I wouldn't be surprised if there were male genitals under those jeans.' - she repeats every time
I refuse to borrow her a miniskirt or one of her tight dresses.
I snort, continuing to look in the mirror for almost three minutes, and then decide to
go to Taylor's party like that, in the same sweatshirt I wore yesterday and a pair of pants
of gray color.
I let my hair cover my shoulders in soft waves, as a result of the messy bun
in which I had tied them until few minutes ago, but I decide to keep my face clean and without
any trace of makeup.
I tilt my head in front of my reflection, then bring my eyes to the clock hanging on the wall
of my small room, above the single bed.
"I have never been more presentable than today." - I raise my chin proudly, as I speak to myself
, and then walk to the door of my apartment, thinking about how to avoid my
new neighbor.
I managed to hide from him all day in the gym and tried to make myself the most invisible as possible, even if I didn't quite succeed, after drying three glasses
of Mojito at the usual bar: I only recommended to Taylor, at his weekly appointment in my
office, to avoid having intimate relationships for a whole month, because that is the only way it could
increase muscle mass.
And he believed it.
I laugh mentally as I think of the expression on his face at that moment and
handle it at the exact moment someone knocks insistently.
I make a grimace of annoyance, thinking about the worst way to deal with the one who wants
to break down the door, but then I notice that it is just my friend, so I roll my eyes.
"I was going to slap you." - I inform her, and then let her into my apartment and
sit on the sofa while frowning.
"Only William knocks like that." - I explain, making her fold the milks of her mouth into a
smile, but she continues to remain silent, tapping the floor with the tip of the
foot:
"It's late, do we want to go?" - I point to the door, raising an eyebrow.
"Where is it? In a funeral?" - she looks at me from head to toe, then I point my index finger at her,
as she snorts.
"If you are ashamed to go around with someone like me, pretend you don't know me." - I throw herva dirty look, and then take my eyes off her, while she looks at me almost with pity.
It doesn't take long for her to stand up and come towards me with her arms wide open, so I let her hug and kiss my cheek, even if bothered by her gesture.
"Whatever." - she says, smiling again, and then follows me towards the door.
I don't care what people think, I don't care if there is a very hot climate outside, because I don't want to expose an inch of my skin regardless ... and she does know that.
I close the door behind me, then cross the corridor quickly, but I get goosebumps when I read the table informing that the elevator is not
working, which means that I have to go down the stairs, located immediately
close to it.
"Don't ..." - I try to beg her to go back, but I seem to have lost
completely the ability to speak.
At the exact moment when I open my eyes towards the stairs, the figure of Matthew appears
from the shadow that envelops the steps at this hour.
"Don't worry, I saw him go out." - I jump when Tessa's hand rests on my shoulder
and a moan of fear escapes me, which I try to suppress when I notice the man in front of me
look at me with a frown.
I want to scream at him to mind his own business, but his eyes don't leave mine as he steps up.
And they are so frighteningly mesmerizing that for a moment I forget the presence
of my friend by my side and the corridor is dominated only by the sound of his footsteps.
He seems to want to understand what is going through my head, most likely he sees me
like a madwoman who is afraid to go down the stairs, even if he does not abandon his
serious expression as he passes us.
"Are you sure?" - I return to reality, shaking my head quickly, but I don't get any
response from Tessa, which leads me to turn my eyes on her side, catching her staring
the man behind me.
"I preferred you lesbian." - I harden my eyes, but she doesn't seem to listen to me, continuing
to look at Matthew as if she was bewitched by him.
I give her a light slap at shoulder height to get her out of that state:
"Do you know him?" - she stammers, as she begins to descend the steps.
I take a deep breath and follow her, trusting her: I used to cross these stairs every
day, always enthusiastic about knocking on the apartment marked by the 34C iron engraving
on the front door.
"Unfortunately." - I sigh, while my legs tremble with anxiety, when I recognize the entrance
in cherry wood.
"Can you introduce him to me?" - her question makes me take a grimace of disgust, then
I return to throw a dirty look at her:
"You forget it!" - I exclaim, raising my voice more than I should, as we finally reach the
first floor.
"Why not?" - pouts, as if I had prevented her from knowing the love of her
life.
" 'Cause ..." - I start to answer immediately, but nothing comes to my mind
as a justification.
He can be unpleasant to me, even if I don't know him at all, and he can also scare me, but not
enough to prevent me from introducing him to Tessa.
Among other things, as little as I know about him, his character coincides perfectly with that of my best friend and they would look really good together, as they both like to get noticed and have
sex as a favorite pastime, which I find instead as an offense to the female being.
"Why?" - she looks at me with a mischievous expression that I can not decipher, while she gets up
an eyebrow.
"Because I don't like that guy." - I spit sour, rolling my eyes mentally, though
not being able to find a better lie.
"You didn't even like Ashton, but you introduced him to me anyway." - she half closes
her eyes, but then moves away from my body, reaching the opposite side of her
Volkswagen.
I open the door, taking advantage of her distance and distraction to start the
brain:
"I understand. I'm not stealing it." - she nods, raising her hands to shoulder height, as a sign of
surrender, without abandoning the mischievous grin, as soon as I sit by her side.
I open my eyelids when I realize her words, and then take on an angry expression
:
"Look, if you want to meet him, I don't give a shit! You can introduce yourself! »- I raise my
voice and cross my arms to my chest, and then start looking out the window.
"You are so tender!" - she begins to say with a softened look, but I avoid answering her and
I turn on the radio so I can distract my self in order not to offend her and enjoy the evening, although I doubt that
this can happen.
I haven't walked out the door of my apartment for years, except to go to work every
morning: Hardin never bothered to invite me out, knowing that I prefer
lock myself in the house like a mole.
I don't know why I accepted Tessa's invitation: maybe I've had enough of the insults and teasing of Tessa,
but also because I want to see the disappointed face of Taylor, who bet with Hardin
that I wouldn't go to a party until I was at least forty.
"Don't you feel hot?" - Tessa's voice returns to being serious, while she looks at me sideways,
clearly worried, as I'm dressed as if today were December 31st.
I shake my head and go back to watch the buildings pass in front of my eyes, even if
actually I can't wait to get out of the car to get some fresh air.
"I've never been to Taylor's house." -she takes the floor again, changing the subject.
"Do you at least know where we are going?" - I ask her without turning and continuing to admire the view outside the window.
"I know the neighborhood." - she nods to her words, sure of herself.
I do not answer and I enjoy Bazzi's voice in silence, closing my eyes, but not before having
caught a man punching a young man on the sidewalk.
I sink my nails into my thigh, immersing myself in thoughts that I normally try to avoid:
I don't hate violence but those who use it, and that's one of the reasons I hate myself too
itself.
*[memories]
I look around, staring at his nice and welcoming apartment: I show a smile
sincere, while I fix the dress that I bought especially for him, taking advantage
of the fact that he left to bring wine to the table.
"I didn't make you a great cook." - I blush when he takes his place in front of me, while
he stares at me with great admiration, making me uncomfortable.
"There are many things you don't know about me." - he adjusts his tie, looking at me
that makes the smile on my lips die.
*[end of memorie]
I jump into the seat when the music suddenly gets louder and I notice
to be in front of my friend's place:
"It wasn't that hard to find his house." - Tessa shrugs and goes in search of a
I park as I stare at the courtyard full of short-legged women
mileage, like my friend, so I immediately regret accepting the invitation
ofTaylor.
"Were chubby women excluded?" - I mutter to myself, while Tessa bursts out
laughing, finally stopping the car.
I'm not familiar with the stench of sweat mixed with alcohol, but now that I'm having it
experience, I can say that I do not like it at all.
My nostrils are so annoyed that at the entrance I close my them grabbing the
nose between the thumb and forefinger to avoid vomiting on the wooden floor of Taylor's house.
Tessa tells me to follow her with a nod of her head, but she avoids talking to me, since
it would be impossible to listen to her for the deafening volume of the music, which forces me to
hold back the urge to beat the DJ.
While I try not to lose the sight of my friend, I look around, finding myself
completely out of place among women jumping as if they were demon-possessed, and I wonder
how rich Taylor's family must be.
More than a house, it seems to me to be in a modern castle, with large staircases that
they lead who knows where to the upper floor, while the ground floor is dominated only by this huge hall.
For a moment I think I've lost Tessa and start panicking, but then I relax
when I see a lock of curly blond hair with my eyes.
I hurry to put it next to her again as we approach the counter of a mini bar, where a
young boy with a face full of piercings greets us with an annoyed expression.
"Here she is!" - I hear Tessa scream near my ear, and then continue- "I won't be late,
wait for me here, if you want, or have fun around. »- these are the words that I understand come out of her
mouth, as she flees without waiting for me to reply.
I roll my eyes, then lower my arms to my sides and turn to the drinks.
I don't think twice about ordering my favorite cocktail, even if I'm waiting for a
quarter of an hour to receive a glass full of rum and mint and I refrained from
replacing him and make my own drink.
I finally take my place on the stool, grabbing the cocktail between my fingers and turning my back to the junkie waiter, to stare at the people performing in front of my eyes.
I note that I was the first to inaugurate the opening of the bar, when there later join
other guests, especially men who look at me sideways, making me want
to get away from there.
I try to leave the glass on the dark marble counter, but I freeze at the sight of
Matthew and Taylor, both in the company of a model at least two meters tall.
I close my eyes when I meet my friend's gaze, who, unlike Matthew, notices my presence and gives me a welcoming smile.
I follow with the corner of my eye the other, who takes his place two meters away and opens his long and giant legs to welcome the blonde, who, in turn, brings her arms around the neck of
Matthew, hiding his face with her hair.
"I lost the bet!" - Taylor assumes a serious expression, making me return to the
reality and look him straight in the eye, while I hold back a laugh, bringing the drink under my nose.
"Yeah." - I say, while his eyes wander from my head to my toes, then
I bring my eyes to the ceiling- "Don't tell me you were waiting for me with a dress on." - I half close my
eyes, ingesting the last drop of liquid in the glass, while the lime juice brings me to
squint for the acidity.
"You couldn't have been more beautiful." - he winks at me at the exact moment he is left
alone by the girl who accompanied him a little while ago, who plunges into the crowd, raising her
arms in the air.
"Sure." - I say ironic in order not to blush at his impudence, and then continue- "Your
dama is calling you. »- I point to the woman, among her friends, so Taylor doesn't take it
long before he ran to her, leaving the chair empty.
I stare at the latter for some time, thinking about how bored I am already, above all
for the weird looks I get, but then the chair is taken, so I look away,
I raise my hand to get the waiter's attention and order another glass.
As soon as the young man turns to me, the man by my side takes it brazenly
the word:
"Another drink for the young lady ..." - he points to me with his thumb, and then crosses my
look- "I'll offer." - he adds, making my jaw clench when he brings a hand under
my chin:
"Remove your hand." - I dwell on every single word, as my chest rises and falls
quickly when I notice who I am in front of.
I squeeze the empty glass between my fingers, not expecting to find him here tonight:
my legs tremble thinking about the last time I had him at this distance from my face.
But Paul doesn't give up easily, and the fact that he chases me even after two
years since that damn day proves it.
He bursts out laughing two inches from my nose, while I do everything not to
showing me weak in front of his dirty eyes: everything about him makes me sick, from the way he
looks at my body to the way he thinks to touch me with his filthy hands.