I cross Broadway Street slowly, even if I am already in a perfect delay while
I look up in search of pigeons ready to dump what they have digested on the
hood of my giant sweatshirt.
Fortunately today the weather seems to be on my side, since a veil of clouds
covers the sun and makes it less scorching.
We are at the beginning of summer and the sweat I lose under my warm clothes can only
annoy me, even if I spend most of my time under a huge
westinghouse , staring at the ceiling.
I run a hand through my hair as I nibble on the tip of the straw, pretending to drink
the contents of the can, as I look around for maniacs to avoid.
After last night I don't think I'll accept another invitation in the future: my best friend
abandoned me to have fun with an attractive maniac, but mostly maniac, and has not
replied to none of my forty-six messages.
I was unable to pay attention to the discomfort I felt in being treated
like that, but I'm more than used to overshadowing when Tessa is around
nearby: if Hardin hadn't met me after introducing my friend to him, even
he would have rejected me.
There is no reason why a man should find anything interesting in me for my
poor third and the V-shape of my B-side, which I have been covering with my clothes for three years.
But Matthew just insisted on making me feel like trash, taking Tessa away and giving me
the proof that I will never be at her height.
I snort loudly as I finally enter the smelly gym: it's almost ten o'clock and it doesn't surprise me that there are more boxing instructors than customers in the spacious hall.
I raise my hand to greet the bartender, then place the empty beer can on his counter.
"Good morning love!" - Hardin comes to meet me as soon as I enter my office,
so I cross my arms under my chest:
"You didn't come to the party." - I raise an eyebrow, but just shrug and leave
a quick kiss on my lips:
«I didn't feel like it.» - he says as if it was nothing new for him that I was going out of
home.
"Sure." - I raise my eyes to the sky at his words, instill the presence of Hardin by my side
would not have changed anything, indeed, he would have only made me witness his foolishness
in being rejected by women older than him, for whom he has a weakness.
We are anything but engaged, and I've only been realizing this lately, but are not even friends with benefits, having never given him permission to touch me, indeed,
we're not even friends.
I've had a soft spot for him since, the day we met halfway through
August, he was the only one of his friends who didn't laugh or ask me why I was wearing a wool sweater in mid-August.
He seemed like a different guy from the others, but the spark never went off:
'You just have to wait, there is no love at first sight' - Tessa's words repeated themselves in
my head and I was trying to convince myself that he was the right man for me, but then he turned out to be fool, but maybe it was my fault, that I can't erase the past and leave myself
go ahead of him.
But I love Hardin in a particular way, not just as a friend:
"I have to go. See you later. "- he says looking behind me with a slightly anxious air,
then leave a last kiss on my mouth and escapes.
I follow him with my eyes, confused by his attitude, but I understand his reaction when
I realize who I have behind me: Matthew crosses the corridor slowly, as if
was parading, accompanied by a tall man with very light hair.
I meet Matthew's gaze for a moment, slaying him with my eyes for what he did yesterday evening, while his expression remains harsh.
I see him approaching the corridor, but my attention is caught by the man at his
shoulders, who has his head turned in my direction, but I do not understand if he is looking at me or not,
as his eyes are hidden behind a pair of sunglasses.
I don't understand why he takes them to a gym, but I feel uncomfortable when I notice
his neck doesn't move an inch and I almost get the feeling he's staring at me.
As soon as they are about to join me, almost two meters away, I hasten to give them
shoulders and and open the door of my office, but I do not have time to avoid the fact that the presence of
Matthew gets closer behind me, so that I can feel his breath in my hair.
I feel him approaching his head to the hollow of my neck, then I forcefully close my eyes and
I shrug on my shoulders, ready to be reproached for my delay and without finding the courage to
turn to look him in the eye:
"In my office. Now. »- he pronounces each word in a voice so hoarse that I feel the chills for
my whole spine.
It takes me a while to analyze the meaning of his words, as he walks away,
leaving me with my head down and short of breath.
Bastard!!
I turn slowly and not at all ready to follow him to suffer half an hour of torture in front of
his unbearable gaze.
I watch their backs and wait for them to disappear behind Matthew's office door, then shake my head and recover from my trance: it seems to me that I still have his perfume in my nostrils.
I swear in a low voice for how I got caught and for the way he treated me for the second time.
Only after ten seconds I decide to follow in their footsteps, pinching the palm of the
hand for the nervous, as I find myself in front of the wooden door of the manager's office.
«We want to expand the spaces and bring new sports, new customers ...» - Matthew continues to
speak regardless of my burst into the room, while addressing the mysterious and very blonde man.
As soon as I enter, the latter stops looking at Matthew and resumes looking at me with a
frown.
I raise my hand in midair and wave it in front of her face:
"What the fuck are you doing?" - Matthew interjects, saying between his teeth, but I don't listen to him,
continuing to look at the other, who seems amused more than annoyed.
I take a seat on the empty chair next to the blonde, who does not take his eyes off me: I have
always found blond hair interesting.
(memory)
«They're of the color of the sun.» - I laugh, as I take a look of his hair between my fingers.
I laugh like a stupid four-year-old while my brother looks at me
intensely, as if hiding something.
"Do you like my eyes?" - asks suddenly, while I don't think twice before
answer while I admire his strange eyes.
I have never seen such beautiful eyes, one as blue as the morning sky and the other as black as the
sky at night.
"Yup."
"Tessa doesn't like them!" - he exclaims, while I frown.
"Who is Tessa?"
(end of memories)
"Are you blind?" - I ask without thinking twice, while Matthew slams his fist on
desk, incinerating me with my eyes.
«No.» - he says after a long time, so much so that I began to think he had problems
even with hearing.
His voice is so low it makes me shiver as he continues:
"Do you think I'm blind?"
"Why do you wear your glasses in the shade?" - I ask obviously, trying to glimpse beyond the dark lenses, which leads him to lower his head.
"Why are you wearing a sweatshirt in the middle of summer?" - he returns to fold his lips upwards, which
leads me to do the same, having left me speechless to be able to reply.
I keep looking at him with a strange smile, pulling a strand of hair behind his ear
slightly embarrassed under his gaze, but I return to reality when Matthew clears his throat, passing his eyes from me to the man by my side several times.
«Late again.» - he changes the subject, bringing his attention back to me.
«I came before you.» - I look seriously and finding the courage to reply.
I wouldn't be surprised if he fired me just for saying something, but contrary to my
expectations is limited to pointing the finger at me:
"You have to learn to keep your mouth shut, Charlie!" - he yells straight in my face, making me jump
on the chair.
' (Memory)
"My name is Charlotte!" - I reach out to the skinny little girl next to him.
«I'm Tessa.» - she says in a faint voice, but my brother interrupts her and puts his hands down
on my shoulders.
"Don't be called 'Charlotte'!" - he looks at me intently - "'Charlie' is a nice name."
he smiles with a frown on his face: "Always be called 'Charlie'!"
"I'm Charlie!" - I correct myself in front of the dark-haired girl.
'(end of memories)
"Don't call me Charlie! My name is Charlotte, not Charlie! Charlotte Cooper! "- the tone of
my voice exceeds his, then assumes a surprised expression, and then stands up
immediately on his feet and get over his desk in the blink of an eye.
I imitate him before he can reach me, ready to face the bastard I find myself of
front.
"You ..." - he resumes in the same tone of voice as a little while ago, grabbing my elbow with one hand
and squeezing it between my fingers, and then dragging me on his body and forcing me to have him in two
inches from my face.
He clenches his jaw as my blank gaze plunges into his enraged: he starts to speak
but not a syllable comes out of his mouth, even if I don't notice it and I get distracted from the sudden change in the color of his eyes, which become lighter.
I frown to smell his perfume again, this time mixed with the scent of the gods
his sighs.
It tastes good. With an inviting flavor between mint and Cohiba, which leads me to stare at his
lips.
"Charlie is a nice name." - I remember the presence of the man behind me when it starts
to speak in a serious tone of voice, but I do not move my eyes from the red of the mouth of
Matthew until he decides to get away from me, making me feel a sensation
very similar to a vacuum in the stomach.
«I prefer Charlotte.» - I reply more determined and severe than I want to appear, but without
neither of them worth a glance and padding across the corridor.
I don't allow the tears to accumulate in my eyes as I walk down the hall
passing the door of my office and heading for the exit.
"Charlotte!" - Taylor raises a hand sitting at the bar, but not worthy of a greeting, while I
I notice the presence of Tessa at his side.
She's wearing the same clothes as last night, which makes me realize she had fun with Matthew and
have slept with him.
I wonder what she came here to do, but I already know the answer, so I avoid talking to her.
"The usual." - I order the waiter, while Tessa closes her eyes.
"Am I invisible?" - he asks Taylor with an amused expression, while the expression of
my friend remains serious, realizing that something is wrong.
"No, you're a bitch." - I correct her, but she just laughs at my words, while I grab my Mojito
from the counter and I run away from this place that starts choking me as fast as possible, with
a glass in my hand and a smell of cigar in my nostrils.
How can he be so ... annoying and threatening at the same time ?!
I sip the liquid and let it burn my esophagus and let me feel the good feeling of
carefree.
If I have enough of his pride in three days, I don't know how I'll be able to avoid him in the future,
or at least pretend to accept his brazenness.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I don't see yesterday's table next to the elevator, so,
without thinking twice, I press the button to make it reach the ground floor.
At the exact moment the door opens I take my head back to empty the glass,
with the intention of not thinking about the fact that I left work without an
official permission.
I have to get rid of the thoughts that are starting to disturb me, before it's too late and I go
out of my mind.
I tap the elevator floor with my foot to pass the time, but I can't
help looking at my reflection on the large mirror in front of me.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept myself in front of my dull reflection, staring at all the flaws of the
my body, but the thing I hate most are my eyes.
They are so empty that they remind me of the worst moments that have marked mine
past: all the pain I endured seems to have accumulated right there, in mine
clear puddles.
I jolt when the elevator stops suddenly, before it can get to
destination, then I open my eyes and stare at the panicked door.
My breathing shortens as the seconds pass and the light illuminating the elevator
it becomes fainter, until it disappears completely, making me go in search of a base
support for my hand.
Claustrophobia has been a serious problem several times, as it is not the first time
the elevator breaks with myself locked inside.